Sovereignty is the ability to govern one’s self. If you’re going to be the man you want to be, you are going to have to latch on to and embrace this idea fully.
The reason you’re going to have to do this is because there is not a single person on this planet who can take care of you better than you should be able to take care of yourself.
I do have to throw this disclaimer out there because, inevitably, someone is going to tell me that a “real man” doesn’t live for himself – he should be there to serve others. And, while I wholeheartedly agree with that thought, if you can’t learn to govern and be accountable to yourself, you are not going to be able to serve those you feel you have a responsibility and obligation to serve.
A man is someone who is a protector, a provider, and a presider in his life and others. To that end, it is crucial you learn how to take care of yourself first.
That is what I’m going to share with you today. I’ve broken this down into twelve principles. Today, I’m going to break down the first six. Next week, I’ll give you the next six.
The sad reality is that most men have all but given away their individual sovereignty to some organization, some government, some party, even their spouses in some cases. They’re expecting someone else to do it all for them and believe they’re entitled to some things in this life.
The fact remains, no one owes you a thing. And, if you’re going to have more, do more, and be more, it is upon YOU to develop the mindset, the skills, and the tools you need to do so.
Now, these aren’t in any particular order, but let’s break this down:
NO ONE OWES YOU A THING
I already addressed this one a bit but, understanding that it is not anyone else’s responsibility to make sure you succed in this life is a crucial step in controlling your own destiny.
It’s not your bosses job to make sure you’re employed. It’s not your client’s job to make sure you’re paid. It’s not your wife’s responsibility to ensure that you’re fulfilled in your marriage. It’s not your fitness coach’s responsibility to ensure that you’re in shape. It is not the governent’s job to ensure that you prosper.
It is ALL on you. When you come to that realization and life your life accordingly, you have taken the first step to power and control over your destiny.
EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS A CHOICE
A lot of people don’t like when I say this because there are, no doubt, some things that happen to us that are beyond our control. That said, those situations realistically represent less than 1% of our lives.
And, even if something does happen that we cannot control, we still have a choice in how we respond.
Another point that I want to make here is that you are constantly making choices, every single day. And, sometimes, you not making a choice is actually making a choice not to choose.
Understanding that you get to choose how you live your life and the results of your choices determine how successful you’ll be – in your relationships, your wealth, your health, your business, and every other area of life.
FOCUS ONLY ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
Now, along the same lines of things happening outside our control, you need to understand that you can choose to consume yourself with things you have no control over or you can choose to focus on what you can control.
You cannot control another person’s behavior. You cannot change the economy. You cannot change the weather. There are a lot of things you cannot change.
To believe you can is arrogant at best and destructive to your own success at worse.
A lot of people focus on the way this world should be – unicorns, rainbows, and fairytales – instead of focusing on the way it actually is and then acting accordingly.
This brings me to my next point.
OPERATE IN REALITY
Most of us walk around with a fog and a haziness in our lives. We deliberately or unintentionally pull the wool over our eyes because the world is too difficult at times to handle.
We don’t want to jump on the scale because we’re afraid of what it will say. We don’t want to ask our wife how the relationship is because we know it sucks. We don’t want to pull up the bank account because we know it’s in the negative.
This is how children behave. My daughter, for example, covers her eyes when she gets scared. Does that mean the threat is now gone because she can’t see it? Of course not. It only means she can no longer react to it properly because she can’t see what’s going on.
We laugh when we see a child doing this but forget to look in the mirror and realize we do it too – only with much more at stake.
Gentlemen, pull the blindfold off and step into the reality of the life you’ve created through your choices. As difficult as it will be to face, it’s the only way to progress.
How easy is it to say it’s someone else’s fault? How easy is it to blame our wife for the marital problems? How easy is it for us to blame the vendor for not getting the product out on time? How easy is it to blame the economy for our lack of financial resources?
Men, we live in a time where relatively few people are willing to accept any measure of responsibility in their lives. Quite honestly, it’s pathetic. Men accept responsibility. It’s exactly what we do.
I know that burden can be heavy to bear. But, welcome to manhood.
And, keep in mind that accepting responsibility for something does not mean you’re accepting blame. It only means that you recognize that something isn’t quite right and you’re willing to shoulder the weight and say, “I’ll make this right.”
BE ACCOUNTABLE TO YOURSELF
The last thing I wanted to talk with you about today is this idea of accountability. It’s a buzz word that gets tossed around and I want to talk about what it actually means.
There are two levels of accountability:
Accountable to Others
This is the foundational element of accountability – “I am going to be accountable to a boss, or my coach, or my wife, etc.”
There’s nothing wrong with being accountable to others. But there is a higher level of accountability.
Accountable to Yourself
This is the higher tier of accountability. This is about being a man of your word. This is about taking initiative and understanding that you should be holding yourself to the highest standard – that you don’t need anyone else to keep your feet to the fire and that you can do it for yourself.
Both tiers of accountability are important but we ought to be continually striving for that higher level of accountability to ourselves.
Gentlemen, self-governance is a critical component on the path of masculinity. I’ve only given you six of the twelve principles to individual sovereignty today but make sure you tune in next week for the remaining six.
The first six again are No One Owes You a Thing, Everything in Life is a Choice, Focus Only on What You Can Control, Operate in Reality, Accept Responsibility, and Be Accountable to Yourself.
Until next week, remember and implement the ideas of individual sovereignty I shared with you today, take action, and become the man you were meant to be.