Order of Man: Finance | Fitness | Leadership | Manly Skills | Relationships | Self-Mastery | Style https://www.orderofman.com Protect, Provide, Preside Tue, 11 Dec 2018 11:30:50 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.9 https://www.orderofman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/favicon-Circle-2.png Order of Man: Finance | Fitness | Leadership | Manly Skills | Relationships | Self-Mastery | Style https://www.orderofman.com 32 32 Become more of the man you were meant to be. Order of Man is for motivated and ambitious men who want to become better in every area of their lives from defining their purpose, obtaining self-mastery, building relationships, growing as a leader, and mastering business and finances. Each week, Ryan Michler has real, unscripted conversations with the world’s most successful men. We invite you to join the order at www.orderofman.com. Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man ryan@orderofman.com ryan@orderofman.com (Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man) Copyright © Order of Man 2015 Learn what it takes to become the man you were meant to be from other successful men. Order of Man: Finance | Fitness | Leadership | Manly Skills | Relationships | Self-Mastery | Style https://www.orderofman.com/wp-content/uploads/powerpress/Podcast_Cover_Small_Second_Edition.jpg https://www.orderofman.com How Porn Erodes and Undermines Masculinity | J.K EMEZI https://www.orderofman.com/how-porn-erodes-and-undermines-masculinity-j-k-emezi/ Tue, 11 Dec 2018 11:30:50 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8636 https://www.orderofman.com/how-porn-erodes-and-undermines-masculinity-j-k-emezi/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/how-porn-erodes-and-undermines-masculinity-j-k-emezi/feed/ 0 <p>Pornography is something that all men have likely engaged in to some degree. What’s fascinating is the debate that ensues whenever someone suggests that pornography is not good for men. My guest today, J.K Emezi, makes the case for why we ought to engage in pornography and masturbating less, how to overcome the urge to …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/how-porn-erodes-and-undermines-masculinity-j-k-emezi/">How Porn Erodes and Undermines Masculinity | J.K EMEZI</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Pornography is something that all men have likely engaged in to some degree. What’s fascinating is the debate that ensues whenever someone suggests that pornography is not good for men.

My guest today, J.K Emezi, makes the case for why we ought to engage in pornography and masturbating less, how to overcome the urge to participate in these activities, how the temptation is only likely to get work, and how porn erodes and undermines masculinity.

“Men who choose to quit their behavior with pornography, only do so for three reasons: love, duty, or fear.” Tweet That— J.K Emezi

J.K Emezi

JK EmeziMy guest today is J.K Emezi.

He is a Sex and Pornography Addiction Coach and has been for the last 9 years and he specializes in helping men overcome porn, masturbation, and other sexually compulsive disorders.

This is a fascinating discussion with someone who is well qualified to address the sexual issues a lot of men deal with.

He’s written for our site before and one of his articles happens to be one of the most controversial of ours to date as he covers a topic that a lot of men aren’t comfortable in discussing and one that remains very polarizing to a lot of men.

“What I’ve noticed is more and more men acting out their fantasies – they have actually started taking steps in real life to fulfill what they see – and often times, it ends up in shame.” Tweet That— J.K Emezi

Show Highlights

  • 3 reasons to quit porn
  • How love, duty, and fear can help you quit watching porn
  • How porn impacts sexual performance
  • How to best overcome the urge to watch porn
  • How the rise in robots and AI will only compound the problem
  • How to develop new coping skills
  • The biochemical imbalances of watching porn and masturbating
  • The five-step process for overcoming pornography addiction
  • Why self-imposed limitations are critical
  • Testosterone’s role in a man’s life
  • How to better utilize self-control
  • How to achieve true sexual satisfaction
  • Tips and activities for replacing the urge to engage in porn use
  • The technology you can use to help overcome your addiction

“Once [a man] is engaged in the behavior of watching porn, he is already altering his neural pathways, whether he likes it or not.” Tweet That— J.K Emezi

The Iron Council

Gentlemen, it’s that time of year again – the holiday season. For a lot of us, this conjures up happy images and memories but for a lot of men, it calls into questions the negative circumstances in which they find themselves.

And, as we head into the new year, it’s critical that we all, as men, start redefining our goals and plans for achieving them moving forward. That’s why I wanted to talk to you about the Iron Council. This is a brotherhood of men working together to achieve and be more in our lives and the lives of the people we have a responsibility for.

So, when you band with us, one of the first things we have you do is utilize our planning tool, the Twelve-Week Battle Plan to identify key objectives that are important to you and, more importantly, a system for achieving more than you ever have in the past.

Now is the perfect time to team up with us as we head into the new year and make a conscious effort to become the men we are meant to be.

You can learn more and lock in your spot at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“While there are some men who are not susceptible to [pornography] addiction, for the vast majority of men, it is only a matter of time before [pornography] effects their relationship in one way or the other.” Tweet That— J.K Emezi

Connect with J.K Emezi

“Stress can be dealt with through a variety of coping skills. It does not have to be pornography.” Tweet That— J.K Emezi

The post How Porn Erodes and Undermines Masculinity | J.K EMEZI appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Pornography is something that all men have likely engaged in to some degree. What’s fascinating is the debate that ensues whenever someone suggests that pornography is not good for men. My guest today, J.K Emezi, Pornography is something that all men have likely engaged in to some degree. What’s fascinating is the debate that ensues whenever someone suggests that pornography is not good for men. My guest today, J.K Emezi, makes the case for why we ought to engage in pornography and masturbating less, how to overcome the urge to … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 56:44
Learning from the Great Ancients | SCOTT HAMBRICK https://www.orderofman.com/learning-from-the-great-ancients-scott-hambrick/ Tue, 04 Dec 2018 11:30:12 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8622 https://www.orderofman.com/learning-from-the-great-ancients-scott-hambrick/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/learning-from-the-great-ancients-scott-hambrick/feed/ 0 <p>We all have access to the world’s greatest minds, philosophies, experiments, and ideas. All it takes for us to tap into these is to crack open what my guest refers to as a Great Book, and unlock the lost thoughts, ideas, and secrets to a successful life. Today I am joined by Scott Hambrick, founder …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/learning-from-the-great-ancients-scott-hambrick/">Learning from the Great Ancients | SCOTT HAMBRICK</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

We all have access to the world’s greatest minds, philosophies, experiments, and ideas. All it takes for us to tap into these is to crack open what my guest refers to as a Great Book, and unlock the lost thoughts, ideas, and secrets to a successful life.

Today I am joined by Scott Hambrick, founder of Online Great Books, to talk about how best to tap into these great ancient works, how to extract the most value from them, where to start when learning about ancient literature and philosophy, the benefits of reading the classics, and what you can learn from the great ancients.

“These authors are almost like my uncle now. I read these people and they share what they knew with me and they sacrificed a great deal to do it.” Tweet That— Scott Hambrick

Scott Hambrick

Scott HambrickMy guest today is Scott Hambrick, he is the founder of Online Great Books and a certified Starting Strength Coach.

He’s also an avid reader (which you’ll hear from our conversation together) and a practitioner of the Socratic Method (which you’ll hear him walk through with me during this conversation).

Through his work with Online Great Books, Scott is working to reintroduce tens of thousands of men to the great books of the western world.

“[Reading great literature] teaches us to be dispassionate, it teaches us to be analytical, and it teaches us to speak beautifully about these things.” Tweet That— Scott Hambrick

Show Highlights

  • Why we should all read the classics
  • Harnessing technology to study the greats
  • The depth of the western canon (Plato, Aristotle, Cicero, Socrates, etc.)
  • The right way to study ancient literature
  • The benefits of reading the classics
  • The Socratic Method
  • The correct way to hold a conversation around philosophy
  • The three components of grammar: logic, rhetoric, and context
  • Reading for comprehension
  • Developing your B.S detector
  • Who and what dictates a “great” book
  • What is language
  • The power of shared inquiry (AKA, curiosity)
  • Understanding truth

“You don’t really learn something until you teach somebody else.” Tweet That— Scott Hambrick

The Iron Council

By now, you’ve heard of our exclusive brotherhood but I thought I’d share with you what we’re addressing as the topic of this month: fostering emotional resiliency.

It seems to me we live in a society that is becoming increasingly fragile, overly emotional, and unnecessarily outraged. It’s our goal inside the Iron Council this month to give you the tools, guidance, direction, and accountability to understand your emotions, not so you can express them unnecessarily but so you can harness them to produce better results in your career, with your wife and children, and in your life.

You’re going to get assignments, weekly challenges, and weekly conversations designed to equip you with everything you need to understand and utilize your emotions for productive outcomes.

Band with the 450+ men inside the Iron Council this month and tap into this month’s topic, fostering emotional resiliency, and our library of past topics, conversations, and guest Q and A sessions.

Head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil to lock in your spot.

“Having a discussion makes reading comprehension skyrocket.” Tweet That— Scott Hambrick

Connect with Scott Hambrick

“Our experience of ourselves seems to be the experience of the content of our minds. You are who you are because of your thoughts.” Tweet That— Scott Hambrick

The post Learning from the Great Ancients | SCOTT HAMBRICK appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
We all have access to the world’s greatest minds, philosophies, experiments, and ideas. All it takes for us to tap into these is to crack open what my guest refers to as a Great Book, and unlock the lost thoughts, ideas, We all have access to the world’s greatest minds, philosophies, experiments, and ideas. All it takes for us to tap into these is to crack open what my guest refers to as a Great Book, and unlock the lost thoughts, ideas, and secrets to a successful life. Today I am joined by Scott Hambrick, founder … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 58:20
How to Build a Profitable Movement | BRIAN ROSE https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-build-a-profitable-movement-brian-rose/ Tue, 27 Nov 2018 11:30:01 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8606 https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-build-a-profitable-movement-brian-rose/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-build-a-profitable-movement-brian-rose/feed/ 0 <p>I know a lot of men who listen to the podcast are interested in turning a simple idea into a movement much like we’ve created here at Order of Man. And, more than simply a movement, finding a way to turn that movement into a profitable career and source of income. My guest today, Brian …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-build-a-profitable-movement-brian-rose/">How to Build a Profitable Movement | BRIAN ROSE</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I know a lot of men who listen to the podcast are interested in turning a simple idea into a movement much like we’ve created here at Order of Man. And, more than simply a movement, finding a way to turn that movement into a profitable career and source of income.

My guest today, Brian Rose with London Real, has done exactly that by bringing together and discussing ideas with the most interesting people in the world. Today, Brian and I talk about crafting your own story, developing the “X-Factor,” how to create a product ecosystem, and how to ultimately build a profitable movement.

“You need to embrace an uncertain future and constantly be evolving.” Tweet That— Brian Rose

Brian Rose

Brian RoseGentlemen, I’m stoked to introduce you to my guest today, Mr. Brian Rose.

He is the founder of London Real and a big source of inspiration and motivation for what we have created here with Order of Man.

He is interviewing some of the most inspiring people on the planet like Jocko, Jordan Peterson, Grant Cardone, Dan Carlin, General McCrystal, and so many more.
An MIT graduate and extremely successful in the banking and financial world, Brian left all that to pursue a dream of launching a global media company. And he’s done just that.

“People talk about peer pressure as being bad. I use it for myself.” Tweet That— Brian Rose

Show Highlights

  • How to stop worrying about what other people say and think
  • How to craft your own story
  • How to adapt to change
  • How to develop the x-factor
  • How to overcome the fear that keeps most people back
  • How to make maximum impact in the market
  • How to find a mentor
  • How to level up and evolve who you are
  • How to effectively network to produce results
  • How to monetize a message and market
  • How to transform people
  • How to develop a minimum viable product
  • How to create a product ecosystem
  • Why it’s imperative you dissolve your ego
  • Why you should be absolutely obsessed with constant improvement
  • Why you need to change your relationship with money
  • Learning to cope with physical and mental limitations

“People are overly concerned with what other people think. They’re worried about what this whole group of people they don’t even like have to say about them.” Tweet That— Brian Rose

The Iron Council

I know a lot of you are looking for like-minded men to band with and learn from. Four years ago, that is exactly what I was after too. Frankly, I couldn’t find it. So, I created it.

It’s called the Iron Council and over the past 3 years, we’ve connected with nearly 450 men from all over the world working together to grow in our relationships, build businesses, get stronger, develop new skill sets, and generally reach higher levels of the potential that lies dormant in so many men.

So, if you’re ready to do more than talk about what it means to be a man and you’re willing to be pushed, challenged, tested, and forged into the man you’re capable of becoming, I invite you to join the Iron Council.

Head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil to learn more.

“I had to pay the cost to be the boss.” Tweet That— Brian Rose

Connect with Brian Rose

“Whenever you go to do something great, you’re going to encounter resistance. And, it’s directly proportional to the magnitude of what you’re trying to do.” Tweet That— Brian Rose

The post How to Build a Profitable Movement | BRIAN ROSE appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I know a lot of men who listen to the podcast are interested in turning a simple idea into a movement much like we’ve created here at Order of Man. And, more than simply a movement, finding a way to turn that movement into a profitable career and sourc... I know a lot of men who listen to the podcast are interested in turning a simple idea into a movement much like we’ve created here at Order of Man. And, more than simply a movement, finding a way to turn that movement into a profitable career and source of income. My guest today, Brian … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:12:55
Man Up | BEDROS KEUILIAN https://www.orderofman.com/man-up-bedros-keuilian/ Tue, 20 Nov 2018 11:30:41 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8572 https://www.orderofman.com/man-up-bedros-keuilian/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/man-up-bedros-keuilian/feed/ 0 <p>“Man up” is a term that is likely to trigger a lot of people in the world today. It’s too bad because the term is so misunderstood by society and so powerful when there is a clear understanding of what it actually means. My guest today, Mr. Bedros Keuilian, talks with us about what that …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/man-up-bedros-keuilian/">Man Up | BEDROS KEUILIAN</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

“Man up” is a term that is likely to trigger a lot of people in the world today. It’s too bad because the term is so misunderstood by society and so powerful when there is a clear understanding of what it actually means.

My guest today, Mr. Bedros Keuilian, talks with us about what that means and how to instill the meaning into our boys, how to lead yourself more effectively, assessing and analyzing risk, overcoming bad programming and each and every one of us can more effectively “man up” in our lives.

“There is an absolute role in the aggression and the violence that men deliver.” Tweet That— Bedros Keuilian

Bedros Keuilian

Bedros KeuilianGentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce you to our repeat guest, Bedros Keuilian.

I was so blown away with his my first conversation with him and his story that I thought it only made sense to bring him back on considering he just released a new book called, Man Up: How to Cut the Bullshit and Kick Ass in Business (and in Life).

Bedros is a serial entrepreneur, speaker, coach, and author and one of my favorite people to talk to because of his no-nonsense approach to life. I really think you’re going to enjoy this episode because he tells it like it is and says the things most people are thinking but too afraid to say.

Guys, get your notepads out and get ready to hear from a man who has come from nothing and turned his into an absolutely incredible life.

“When the shit hits the fan, we look to policemen, firemen, and supermen, to come rescue us.” Tweet That— Bedros Keuilian

Show Highlights

  • How to lead yourself more effectively
  • Understanding the power of your “why”
  • How to heal yourself
  • Why small commitments are more significant than the larger ones
  • Why rites of passage are so important for young men
  • The power of decisiveness
  • How to develop clarity of vision
  • How to build a high-performance team
  • Making the “mind-muscle” connection
  • Analyzing and assessing risks
  • Overcoming bad programming
  • Developing mental toughness
  • The power of owning every situation
  • Creating the blueprint for the type of man you want to be
  • Becoming and raising a “Modern Day Knight”
  • The difference between reasons and excuses

“It’s become so easy to make excuses, to give up control, and say, ‘I settle for mediocrity.'” Tweet That— Bedros Keuilian

Man Up

 

The Iron Council

Gentlemen, if you’re looking for a way to elevate your life and the way you’re performing in it, I invite you to join the Iron Council.

This is a powerful brotherhood of men who are pushing each other, standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the same objectives, and holding each other’s feet to the fire. The truth is, you could do this thing we call life all alone, but why would you want to? And, more importantly, why not band with other men who will help get your further than you could by going at it alone.

If you’re even remotely interested, try it for 30 days. You’ll get access to all the tools, resources, guidance, discussions, and accountability and determine if it’s a fit for you.

Head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“It takes a certain kind of mental toughness to think, “A crappy thing happened to me but I grew from it, learned from it, and I’m a better person because of it.” Tweet That— Bedros Keuilian

Connect with Bedros Keuilian

“Negativity and pessimism is the kiss of death for any entrepreneur, or human for that matter.” Tweet That— Bedros Keuilian

The post Man Up | BEDROS KEUILIAN appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
“Man up” is a term that is likely to trigger a lot of people in the world today. It’s too bad because the term is so misunderstood by society and so powerful when there is a clear understanding of what it actually means. My guest today, Mr. “Man up” is a term that is likely to trigger a lot of people in the world today. It’s too bad because the term is so misunderstood by society and so powerful when there is a clear understanding of what it actually means. My guest today, Mr. Bedros Keuilian, talks with us about what that … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 59:33
Turning Tragedy into Triumph | SIDNEY SMITH https://www.orderofman.com/turning-tragedy-into-triumph-sidney-smith/ Tue, 13 Nov 2018 11:30:22 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8564 https://www.orderofman.com/turning-tragedy-into-triumph-sidney-smith/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/turning-tragedy-into-triumph-sidney-smith/feed/ 0 <p>Every once in a while, you meet someone so special you know you need to connect more with that person. Today, I have the opportunity to share my conversation with one of those people, Sidney Smith. I met him briefly at a 5k then spent a couple hours hiking down a mountainside while shooting our bows …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/turning-tragedy-into-triumph-sidney-smith/">Turning Tragedy into Triumph | SIDNEY SMITH</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Every once in a while, you meet someone so special you know you need to connect more with that person. Today, I have the opportunity to share my conversation with one of those people, Sidney Smith.

I met him briefly at a 5k then spent a couple hours hiking down a mountainside while shooting our bows at the Total Archery Challenge. That doesn’t sound that special until you learn that Sid is a double amputee. and does his walking and running on prosthetic blades. We talk about overcoming fear, focusing on the positives of life, learning to appreciate what we have, getting used to pain, and turning tragedy into triumph.

“Amputation may have saved my life because it brought me down a path that gave me a second chance to do the things I loved.” Tweet That— Sidney Smith

Sidney Smith

Sidney SmithA couple of months ago, I had the opportunity to participate in the Total Archery Challenge in Northern Utah with my friends at MTN OPS.

I met a lot of great people but I had the incredible opportunity to run the course with my guest today, Mr. Sidney Smith. I had only bumped into him one other time but as I spent 3 or so hours walking down a mountain with Sid, a double amputee, I was amazed and humbled at how this man shows up in his life.

He’s an avid bow hunter, a triathlete, and, as I mentioned before, he’s a double amputee. But he doesn’t let that keep him from living his life in a big way and inspiring others along the way to do the same.

“I have certain goals I want to achieve that started from day one in the hospital.” Tweet That— Sidney Smith

Show Highlights

  • How to develop a growth mindset in the toughest circumstances
  • The difference between being “disabled” and being “challenged”
  • How to learn about who you really are
  • Understanding that the greatest disability you could have is in your mind
  • Overcoming the fear of uncertainty
  • How to make extremely difficult decisions
  • Learning to focus on the positives of life
  • How not to take things in your life  for granted
  • The challenges that come with being a double amputee
  • Overcoming how people treat those with disabilities
  • The power of thinking big and giving yourself purpose
  • Pushing past physical and mental pain
  • Learning to cope with physical and mental limitations

“Bowhunting is just like any other challenge in life, the harder it is, the more the reward is in the end.” Tweet That— Sidney Smith

The Iron Council

I just want to pause for a minute and tell you about our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council. This is a band of brothers who are working together to improve their lives as fathers, husbands, business owners, and community leaders.

It’s very rare to find someone who doesn’t have goals and aspirations for the future. It’s significantly easier to find men who don’t do anything about it. That’s not what you’re going to find inside the Iron Council. The 400+ men inside have all committed to and are working towards making more money, connecting more deeply with the people they care about, getting strong and healthy, and just about every other worthy goal and objective.

And, we’re providing the tools, guidance, and direction to help them do just that. If you’re interested in learning more about what takes place inside the Iron Council, head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“The deer and elk [I hunt] don’t go easy on me so I need to be ready on the terrain as much as anyone else.” Tweet That— Sidney Smith

Connect with Sidney Smith

“The disability wasn’t really in my legs. That wasn’t what was holding me back.” Tweet That— Sidney Smith

The post Turning Tragedy into Triumph | SIDNEY SMITH appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Every once in a while, you meet someone so special you know you need to connect more with that person. Today, I have the opportunity to share my conversation with one of those people, Sidney Smith. I met him briefly at a 5k then spent a couple hours hi... Every once in a while, you meet someone so special you know you need to connect more with that person. Today, I have the opportunity to share my conversation with one of those people, Sidney Smith. I met him briefly at a 5k then spent a couple hours hiking down a mountainside while shooting our bows … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 42:15
Max Out Your Life | Ed Mylett https://www.orderofman.com/max-out-your-life-ed-mylett/ Tue, 06 Nov 2018 11:30:25 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8543 https://www.orderofman.com/max-out-your-life-ed-mylett/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/max-out-your-life-ed-mylett/feed/ 0 <p>10 years ago, I found myself listening to CDs from my guest while driving between financial advisory appointments. He had no idea how influential he would be in my life as I frustratingly attempted to build my first business. 10 years later, I have the privilege of having an incredibly powerful conversation with one of …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/max-out-your-life-ed-mylett/">Max Out Your Life | Ed Mylett</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

10 years ago, I found myself listening to CDs from my guest while driving between financial advisory appointments. He had no idea how influential he would be in my life as I frustratingly attempted to build my first business.

10 years later, I have the privilege of having an incredibly powerful conversation with one of the most important people in my professional/business life, Mr. Ed Mylett. Today, we talk about over to overcome your greatest fears, the power of faith in your aspirations, how to unleash your greatest gifts and skills, and how to fully max out your life.

“On the other side of some of our greatest fears lies the biggest difference we can make.” Tweet That— Ed Mylett

Show Highlights

  • Why it’s critical you choose your words carefully
  • How to overcome your greatest fears
  • Why you need to know what’s worth fighting for
  • The power of faith in your aspirations
  • How to “level up” your goals and objectives
  • Developing a proper work/life balance
  • Why your reputation with yourself is crucial
  • How to develop unwavering self-esteem
  • Finding the middle ground between giving and taking
  • Differentiating between ego and pride
  • How to tap into and unleash your unique gifts and skills
  • How to attract high-profile people into your life
  • The distinction between happiness and fulfillment
  • How to walk the thin line between confidence and arrogance

Ed Mylett

Ed MylettGentlemen, I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am to be introducing you to my guest today, Mr. Ed Mylet.

All of my conversations have been powerful but this one is a personal favorite of mine as Ed has had such a huge impact on my professional life. I started listening to him 10 years ago when I got back from Iraq and back then I had no idea I’d have the opportunity to talk with him on a podcast.

Most of you know exactly who Ed is so I’ll spare you the long introduction. But let’s just say for now that Ed is an incredible entrepreneur, a powerful coach and mentor to some of the most successful people on the planet, and the host and founder of the Ed Mylett Podcast. Today, you’re going to hear exactly why I look up to this man and why he’s achieved the tremendous amount of success he has.

“If it involves making a difference for another human being, it’s worth it.” Tweet That— Ed Mylett

#Maxout Your Life

 

“There’s a linkage between massive, crazy action and what I’m worthy of.” Tweet That— Ed Mylett

The Iron Council

The Iron Council. It’s likely you’ve heard me talk about it by now but if you haven’t, this is our exclusive band of brothers all working together to become better men.

I say, “exclusive,” because it’s a brotherhood of 400 men who have all voluntarily raised their hands and said, “I want to be a better man.” And, rather than simply talk about what it means to be a better man, we’re actively working on becoming men through assignments, challenges, and accountability to each other.

It’s like Marcus Aurelius once said, “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” That’s exactly what we’re doing inside of the Iron Council.

So, if you’re ready to get off the sideline and into the game, or if you’ve been in the game but you feel like you’re either missing something or there’s more, the Iron Council could be the exact resource that you need.

Learn more and claim your seat in this brotherhood at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“If I was such an egomaniac that I thought [my success] was all me, I’d be a pretty empty man.” Tweet That— Ed Mylett

Connect with Ed Mylett

“You don’t get what you wish for, or hope for, or even what you dream about. You get what you fight for and work for.” Tweet That— Ed Mylett

The post Max Out Your Life | Ed Mylett appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
10 years ago, I found myself listening to CDs from my guest while driving between financial advisory appointments. He had no idea how influential he would be in my life as I frustratingly attempted to build my first business. 10 years later, 10 years ago, I found myself listening to CDs from my guest while driving between financial advisory appointments. He had no idea how influential he would be in my life as I frustratingly attempted to build my first business. 10 years later, I have the privilege of having an incredibly powerful conversation with one of … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 54:35
Stop Being So Nice | DR. AZIZ GAZIPURA https://www.orderofman.com/stop-being-so-nice-dr-aziz-gazipura/ Tue, 30 Oct 2018 11:30:48 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8518 https://www.orderofman.com/stop-being-so-nice-dr-aziz-gazipura/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/stop-being-so-nice-dr-aziz-gazipura/feed/ 0 <p>One of the most common challenges I see men face is their inability to overcome being too nice. Don’t get me wrong, being nice is great but when it comes at the expense of your own well-being, it becomes a problem. Today, I am joined by psychologist, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, to talk about the pitfalls …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/stop-being-so-nice-dr-aziz-gazipura/">Stop Being So Nice | DR. AZIZ GAZIPURA</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

One of the most common challenges I see men face is their inability to overcome being too nice. Don’t get me wrong, being nice is great but when it comes at the expense of your own well-being, it becomes a problem.

Today, I am joined by psychologist, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, to talk about the pitfalls of being too nice. We cover the “guilt bubble” and how to get out of it, the costs of being overly nice, learning to speak up and develop healthy boundaries, and how to stop being so nice.

“When we do something from this [unhealthy] place of obligation, we build a toxic sludge of resentment.” Tweet That— Dr. Aziz Gazipura

Show Highlights

  • What does it mean to be “nice”
  • How being overly nice is self-sabotaging
  • What the “guilt bubble” is and how to get out of it
  • The costs of being too nice
  • How to liberate yourself
  • How to establish healthy boundaries
  • Learning to speak up
  • Why being selfish is not always a bad thing
  • How to choose and communicate your rules
  • Strategies for improving your ability to say “no”
  • How to care about others without jeopardizing yourself
  • How to increase your discomfort tolerance
  • How to “own your shadows”
  • How to develop more assertiveness

Dr. Aziz Gazipura

Dr. Aziz GazipuraDr. Aziz is a clinical psychologist and one of the world’s leading experts on social confidence.

In 2011, Dr. Aziz started The Center For Social Confidence, which is dedicated to helping everyone break through their shyness and social anxiety. He has helped thousands of people all over the world increase their confidence. Through confidence coaching, audio and video programs, podcasts, a detailed blog, and intensive weekend workshops, Dr. Aziz lives out his mission: To help every person who is stuck in shyness liberate themselves to pursue the relationship, career, and life they have always dreamed of.
Most recently, he wrote a book titled, Not Nice: Stop Pleasing People, Stayin Silent, and Feeling Guilty, which is what he’s here to talk with us about today.

“You’re allowed to say “no.” It’s healthy. If there is no choice in your life, you will suffer greatly. You have to be able to choose to say ‘no.'” Tweet That— Dr. Aziz Gazipura

Not Nice

“We’re very vulnerable to even a hint of disapproval.” Tweet That— Dr. Aziz Gazipura

The Iron Council

Just a quick timeout to tell you about something pretty exciting happening this Friday inside our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council.

On Friday morning, we’re going to have our expert guest and member of the Echelon Front team, Dave Berke join us for a live Q&A with the members. This is just one of the many benefits with you band with us inside the Iron Council.

In addition to our guest experts, you’ll have access to monthly assignments, challenges, Battle Teams, and the accountability to get from where you are now to where you want to be in your relationships, fitness, career, and life.

If you want to join us on Fridays’ call, get registered quickly at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“When we really understand that it’s okay to say ‘no’ and that we’re not doing something wrong, then we can actually say ‘no’ more lovingly and a lot more relaxed.” Tweet That— Dr. Aziz Gazipura

Connect with Dr. Aziz Gazipura

“It is good to be able to put others first….sometimes.” Tweet That— Dr. Aziz Gazipura

The post Stop Being So Nice | DR. AZIZ GAZIPURA appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
One of the most common challenges I see men face is their inability to overcome being too nice. Don’t get me wrong, being nice is great but when it comes at the expense of your own well-being, it becomes a problem. Today, I am joined by psychologist, One of the most common challenges I see men face is their inability to overcome being too nice. Don’t get me wrong, being nice is great but when it comes at the expense of your own well-being, it becomes a problem. Today, I am joined by psychologist, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, to talk about the pitfalls … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 52:25
Hardening the Body and Mind | BOBBY MAXIMUS https://www.orderofman.com/hardening-the-body-and-mind-bobby-maximus/ Tue, 23 Oct 2018 11:30:06 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8490 https://www.orderofman.com/hardening-the-body-and-mind-bobby-maximus/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/hardening-the-body-and-mind-bobby-maximus/feed/ 0 <p>Each and every one of us has a desire to strengthen our bodies and minds. Why is it then that so many men struggle when it comes to the training they know will improve every area of their lives? This is a question my guest, Bobby Maximus, has been answering for his training clients for …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/hardening-the-body-and-mind-bobby-maximus/">Hardening the Body and Mind | BOBBY MAXIMUS</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Each and every one of us has a desire to strengthen our bodies and minds. Why is it then that so many men struggle when it comes to the training they know will improve every area of their lives?

This is a question my guest, Bobby Maximus, has been answering for his training clients for years and helping them bridge the gap between where they are now and where they want to be. Today, we talk about the psychology of training, how to eliminate the excuses that creep in, why you should reframe “self-improvement” as “self-work,” and how to harden the body and mind.

“Everyone is looking for something for nothing. in life, people don’t want to work hard anymore. We want it handed to us.” Tweet That— Bobby Maximus

Bobby Maximus

Bobby MaximusI’ve been looking forward to introducing you to my guest, Bobby Maximus, for some time now.

Bobby has been in the fitness and health industry for more than a decade and served as the General Manager, Training Director and Lead Seminar Instructor at Gym Jones. He was also named as Men’s Health’s 100 Fittest Men of All Time.

In addition to that, he is a former police officer for the Toronto Police Service, a former UFC fighter, and holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, English, and education.

Needless to say, this is a man who understands the body and mind in a way not many people do and I couldn’t be more excited to talk with him about hardening and strengthening both.

“The reality is that training is easy. At the end of the day, you’re just picking shit up and putting it down.” Tweet That— Bobby Maximus

Show Highlights

  • The psychology of training
  • Developing a strong self-image
  • Eliminate excuses
  • How to train for life
  • How to sift through the noise and garbage
  • Reframing self-improvement as self-work
  • How to build in accountability
  • How to know if your why is strong enough
  • Balancing internal and external growth
  • How to eliminate your doubts
  • What is “green dot therapy”
  • 10 words that will ruin your life
  • How to kill your self-governor
  • Why you should document your progress

“Anyone is capable of anything if they want something bad enough and if they have the right internal and external motivation.” Tweet That— Bobby Maximus

Maximus Body

The Iron Council

Gents, just a quick pause to tell you about our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council. You’ve likely heard of it by now but maybe you’ve been on the fence about joining for one reason or the other.

If that’s you, I’d encourage you to band with us and try it for 30 days. We just launched a new tool called the Foundry which will walk you through 10 steps to get up to speed quickly, give you access to all the past replays and videos, unlock the assignments we give all of our members, and so much more.

I think it’s safe to assume that most of you listening to this podcast know you need a network of powerful men in your life. Unfortunately, you may not know how to build it. We’ve done the legwork in gathering strong, motivated, ambitious men. All you have to do is tap into it and utilize the resources we’ve been developing for nearly 4 years.

To learn more, head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“If you’re around people who are driven, motivated, and hold themselves to a high standard, guess what you’re going to do? You’ll do the same.” Tweet That— Bobby Maximus

Connect with Bobby Maximus

“If you’re looking to make a change, find that intrinsic motivation, or your why, and you don’t know what you’re doing, surround yourself with people who have figured it out.” Tweet That— Bobby Maximus

The post Hardening the Body and Mind | BOBBY MAXIMUS appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Each and every one of us has a desire to strengthen our bodies and minds. Why is it then that so many men struggle when it comes to the training they know will improve every area of their lives? This is a question my guest, Bobby Maximus, Each and every one of us has a desire to strengthen our bodies and minds. Why is it then that so many men struggle when it comes to the training they know will improve every area of their lives? This is a question my guest, Bobby Maximus, has been answering for his training clients for … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:01:00
Rise From the Ashes https://www.orderofman.com/rise-from-the-ashes/ Fri, 19 Oct 2018 11:30:50 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8494 https://www.orderofman.com/rise-from-the-ashes/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/rise-from-the-ashes/feed/ 0 <p>There will come a point in your life, if there hasn’t already, where everything will seem like it’s crumbling around you – your relationship will fall apart, your health will deteriorate, your financial situation will be a mess, etc., etc. – and, unless you can find a way to rise from the ashes, it will …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/rise-from-the-ashes/">Rise From the Ashes</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There will come a point in your life, if there hasn’t already, where everything will seem like it’s crumbling around you – your relationship will fall apart, your health will deteriorate, your financial situation will be a mess, etc., etc. – and, unless you can find a way to rise from the ashes, it will be very easy to allow these situations to cripple you.

I know of a lot of men who live in mediocrity because they never learned to dust themselves off when faced with these negative situations. They never learned how to rise up and become stronger in spite of all of the events that every single one of us will deal with at some point in our lives. Whether you’re dealing with a bankruptcy, separation or divorce, death of a loved one, injury or illness, or a job loss, it’s critical you learn to handle all that life will throw at you.

When these inevitable situations arise, we begin to see that there are really only two types of men – those who deal with the situation and find a way to become a better version of themselves and those who use their circumstances as a permission slip to self-destruct.

Today, I’ll share with you a very simple four-step cycle for overcoming difficult times. I’m sure that you’re familiar with, or at least have heard of the OODA loop. It’s a process that was developed by Air Force colonel, John Boyd. It stands for Observe, Orient, Decide, and Act. In the remainder of this article, I’ll break down the OODA loop and show you how it’s applicable in overcoming everyday struggles, challenges, and adversity.

OBSERVE

Look, you may have just gotten your butt kicked. You may have just gotten your ass handed to you. It’s safe to assume that when you find yourself in this situation,  you’re not going to be able to get right back up and get back into the fight. It would be nice if that were the case, but it rarely works that way.

What I found is that when I rush to get back up after being knocked down, I have a tendency of getting myself in a worse situation because I didn’t take the time to regroup and evaluate what was going on around me. I didn’t take the time to learn from the experience.

It’s very difficult when you’re in the midst of something very emotional to slow down and analyze what happened. But if you fail to take the necessary time, you’re going to make things worse. Instead, consider this an opportunity to focus on yourself and what you’re going to do in order to improve moving forward.

Look at your situation objectively. Don’t get emotional. Don’t rush into a solution. Regroup and withdraw from the fight temporarily, not permanently, to figure out what the hell just happened to you.

ORIENT

Now, once you’ve taken the time to observe what is going on around you, it’s time to start making a plan. It’s time to figure out what your resources are. It’s time to figure out what your weaknesses are. It’s time to figure out what assets and what liabilities you have. It’s time to start thinking about what you need to do next? Ask yourself:

  • In what areas of my life do I need to improve?
  • What skills sets do I need to develop?
  • What resources do I have that can help?
  • What resources do I need on my next mission?
  • What is it that I want to accomplish moving forward?

Documenting everything. Write everything down. Keep in mind, you’re not prioritizing right now. Simply write down the answers to the previous questions and any others you think would serve you.

DECIDE

So, now you’ve observed what is happening. You know you’re in a difficult situation. You know what is going on around you. You’ve begun to identify your strengths and weaknesses. You know what resources you have. You have an idea of what you want to accomplish. It’s now the time to start prioritizing and making decisions. Now you need to answer the question, “What is my plan of action?”

When I’m prioritizing all that needs to be done to improve myself and my situation, I ask, “What is the one thing I can do right now that will yield the biggest result?” The answer to that question is the course of action I usually take. When I completed that task, I ask myself again,” What is the one thing I can do right now that will yield the biggest result?” And, I make the answer to that question my next step.

This is where a lot of men get hung up. We’ve all hear the term, “paralysis by analysis.” It’s easy to stall because you don’t want to mess up. The truth is, you might. But what’s the alternative? The alternative is staying where you currently are, in a state of despair, simply hoping that things will work out. Hoping something will work out is not a great strategy.

Make a decision. Do it with the right motives and the right information. And, if it doesn’t happen to play out the way you would have hoped, start the OODA loop back over again.

ACT

We’ve now observed the problem as objectively as possible. We’ve oriented ourselves to our strengths and weaknesses, and we know what resources we have access to and which resources we need. We’ve decided on a course of action. Now, it’s time to take it.

There’s not much more to tell you with regards to this fourth step. You’ve done everything that you needed to in order to get you to a point where you’re acting in a manner that is likely to produce the best result. Do it. That’s it, do it.

OODA loop

One other thing you need to understand when it comes to utilizing this strategy. It’s called OODA loop for a reason. This process is not a linear one, but a cyclical one. The process is just getting started. In fact, it never ends.

I see too many men use this process only to find out that it actually works. When they see that it has worked, they forget to go back to step #1, Observe, and soon find themselves in the same dire situation they were before. Do not fall prey to thinking that you’re done just because you accomplished what it is you set out to accomplish. This is a sure path to mediocrity, complacency, and long-term failure.

Incorporate this process into your life, and not just when things go bad, but when things are going right too. You don’t need to wait until things fall apart in order to improve yourself. In fact, if you can incorporate the OODA loop into all aspects of your life now, you’re less likely to have to deal with catastrophic events down the road.

When you find yourself burned, I want you to rise from the ashes. I’ve seen too many men fall prey to tragic situations. These challenging times are not meant to hurt you or keep you down. They’re meant to empower you and make you stronger for what you are yet to face. You have the power to become a better, stronger, tougher, grittier, more resilient man than you were before. Again, life’s challenges aren’t there to cripple us. They’re there to fortify us, to build us, to make us stronger, but we have to have a system in place in order to become a new man.

The post Rise From the Ashes appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There will come a point in your life, if there hasn’t already, where everything will seem like it’s crumbling around you – your relationship will fall apart, your health will deteriorate, your financial situation will be a mess, etc., etc. – and, There will come a point in your life, if there hasn’t already, where everything will seem like it’s crumbling around you – your relationship will fall apart, your health will deteriorate, your financial situation will be a mess, etc., etc. – and, unless you can find a way to rise from the ashes, it will … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 19:06
Living Life on Your Terms | JP Dinnell https://www.orderofman.com/living-life-on-your-terms-jp-dinnell/ Tue, 16 Oct 2018 11:30:49 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8467 https://www.orderofman.com/living-life-on-your-terms-jp-dinnell/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/living-life-on-your-terms-jp-dinnell/feed/ 0 <p>It’s not a surprise to you that there is so much noise and nonsense that attempts to engage our focus and keep us distracted from the things that truly matter. And, if you’re one of the few men who has actually taken the time to identify what you really want, that doesn’t necessarily make things …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/living-life-on-your-terms-jp-dinnell/">Living Life on Your Terms | JP Dinnell</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

It’s not a surprise to you that there is so much noise and nonsense that attempts to engage our focus and keep us distracted from the things that truly matter. And, if you’re one of the few men who has actually taken the time to identify what you really want, that doesn’t necessarily make things any easier.

Today, I am joined by former Navy SEAL and a lead instructor with Echelon Front, JP Dinnell. We talk about the importance of consistency towards your goals, why flexibility in training is critical, how to eliminate the things that keep your from meaning and significance, and living life on your terms.

“The thing I love about the SEAL teams is that when guys take ownership, they take ownership of the problems and the solutions.” Tweet That— JP Dinnell

JP Dinnell

JP DinnellGuys, as you know, we’ve had just about the entire Echelon Front team on over the past month or so and I couldn’t be more excited to introduce you to one of their lead instructors and my friend, JP Dinnell.

He spent nearly a decade with the SEAL teams and served in three combat deployments, his most recent with Task Unit Bruiser in Ramadi under the command of Jocko Willink. There he served as point man, machine gunner and lead sniper for Delta Platoon opposite of Chris Kyle.

Upon return from Iraq, helped rebuild and enhance the SEAL training programs into the highly effective programs they are today. Since then, he has become a lead instructor with Echelon Front helping leaders and communities enhance their organizations and companies.

“The brotherhood that I experienced in the SEAL teams was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.” Tweet That— JP Dinnell

Show Highlights

  • The importance of consistency towards your goals
  • Why discipline is a foundational principle of growth
  • Why flexibility in training is critical
  • How to own both problems and solutions
  • How to drill down to the core reasoning of your work
  • How to best honor the fallen and their sacrifices
  • Transitioning out of the service
  • 3 factors that break down a marriage
  • Choosing to take the harder route
  • How to overcome feelings of hate and hostility
  • How to avoid making certain situations worse
  • Why it’s critical we model masculine behavior for our boys and girls

“I’ve never had an issue with killing bad people, ever. The issues that I have are my brothers that didn’t make it home and what I could have done better.” Tweet That— JP Dinnell

The Iron Council

Just a quick timeout to tell you about our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council. Earlier in this podcast, JP talked about the importance of the SEAL teams as his brotherhood and, while a digital band of brothers will never take the place of having a band locally, it is a powerful step in helping men enhance their lives.

When you join us inside the Iron Council, you’ll tap into a group of men who have your back and will help you do the things necessary to succeed on every front – at home, in your business, and in the community.

You’ll have access to calls, challenges, assignments, the brothers, and our new onboarding system to get you up and running as quickly as possible.

Head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil to learn more and join us today.

“I still loved her and she still loved me but because we didn’t respect each other, and we didn’t communicate with each other properly, and because we were both being selfish, our marriage completely fell apart.” Tweet That— JP Dinnell

Connect with JP Dinnell

“What does hate get you? I’ve never seen anything grow successfully based on hate.” Tweet That— JP Dinnell

The post Living Life on Your Terms | JP Dinnell appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
It’s not a surprise to you that there is so much noise and nonsense that attempts to engage our focus and keep us distracted from the things that truly matter. And, if you’re one of the few men who has actually taken the time to identify what you reall... It’s not a surprise to you that there is so much noise and nonsense that attempts to engage our focus and keep us distracted from the things that truly matter. And, if you’re one of the few men who has actually taken the time to identify what you really want, that doesn’t necessarily make things … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:05:16
Purpose, Passion, and Profit | EVAN HAFER https://www.orderofman.com/purpose-passion-and-profit-evan-hafer/ Tue, 09 Oct 2018 11:30:09 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8443 https://www.orderofman.com/purpose-passion-and-profit-evan-hafer/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/purpose-passion-and-profit-evan-hafer/feed/ 0 <p>So many men believe that the terms purpose and profit are mutually exclusive – that for one to exist, the other can’t. That just isn’t the case. In fact, when you learn to align your purpose and passion with the ability to make a profit, you have a greater ability to impact the world in …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/purpose-passion-and-profit-evan-hafer/">Purpose, Passion, and Profit | EVAN HAFER</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

So many men believe that the terms purpose and profit are mutually exclusive – that for one to exist, the other can’t. That just isn’t the case. In fact, when you learn to align your purpose and passion with the ability to make a profit, you have a greater ability to impact the world in a positive way.

Today, I am joined by the founder of Black Rifle Coffee Company, Evan Hafer, to talk about how he’s managed to build such a successful business around what was simply a passion project. We talk about the power of utilizing new media for marketing, finding and speaking to your tribe, sacrificing ego on the altar of business, and how to align purpose, passion, and profit.

“Most companies whitewash their narratives and just distill it down to the most benign characters that you could ever imagine. It’s just absolute trash.” Tweet That— Evan Hafer

Evan Hafer

Evan HaferMy guest today is Evan Hafer and although you may not know his name, most of you listening are familiar with his company, Black Rifle Coffee Company.

He is a former member of the Special Forces and between his multiple combat deployments, he spent time honing his firearm and roasting skills.

When Evan left the service in 2015, he learned how to market and turn his second passion for roasting coffee into not only a fulltime business but a global coffee company that is recognized for their viral irreverent videos and marketing campaigns, and their incredible coffee.

Now, I will be the first to tell you that I don’t drink coffee myself but when given the chance to connect with Evan, I couldn’t pass him up as he’s clearly on to something when it comes to building a movement and working to employ our nation’s veterans.

“I had an idea a long time ago. I wanted to slap people in the face and wake them up with marketing.” Tweet That— Evan Hafer

Show Highlights

  • How Evan went from firearms to roasting
  • How Black Rifle Coffee Company makes and utilizes viral videos
  • Why interactive marketing is crucial to a business’ success
  • Evan’s view on the competition
  • Defining “great marketing”
  • Discovering, developing, and speaking to your tribe
  • Giving birth to a new you
  • Identifying and letting go of false expectations
  • Why you have to sacrifice your ego on the altar of business
  • Why radical transparency is crucial
  • How to effectively add people into your ecosystem
  • Why businesses should be less concerned with political correctness
  • How to recruit new employees effectively
  • Why you need to differentiate between individuals and the company
  • Finding and securing funding for your project

“Political correctness is a cancer that is quite literally rotting the core of our society from within.” Tweet That— Evan Hafer

The Iron Council

Men, we’ve got some exciting new announcements inside the Iron Council including a new membership site and onboarding system to get you up and running with this powerful brotherhood as quickly as possible.

If you’re not familiar with what the Iron Council is, it is exactly what it sounds like – a council of men banding together to sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron.

Men are rekindling relationships, forging bonds with their children, securing promotions, lose weight, and generally leveling up in every facet of their lives. If you’re ready to do the same, join us inside the Iron Council.

You can learn more and lock in your seat at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“You have to learn to sacrifice your ego on the altar of business. It is a sacrificial lamb you have to put a knife in and spill the blood on the floor.” Tweet That— Evan Hafer

Connect with Evan Hafer

“The way you define a company and its ecosystem will define how successful it is.” Tweet That— Evan Hafer

The post Purpose, Passion, and Profit | EVAN HAFER appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
So many men believe that the terms purpose and profit are mutually exclusive – that for one to exist, the other can’t. That just isn’t the case. In fact, when you learn to align your purpose and passion with the ability to make a profit, So many men believe that the terms purpose and profit are mutually exclusive – that for one to exist, the other can’t. That just isn’t the case. In fact, when you learn to align your purpose and passion with the ability to make a profit, you have a greater ability to impact the world in … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 58:10
Live by a Code, or Die Without One | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES https://www.orderofman.com/live-by-a-code-or-die-without-one-friday-field-notes/ Fri, 05 Oct 2018 11:30:28 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8448 https://www.orderofman.com/live-by-a-code-or-die-without-one-friday-field-notes/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/live-by-a-code-or-die-without-one-friday-field-notes/feed/ 0 <p>There are a lot of strange things going on in the world regarding masculinity and what it means to be a man. One of the questions I get all the time is, “Is there really an attack on masculinity?” I believe there is but at a minimum, there is certainly a dismissal of it. Unfortunately, …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/live-by-a-code-or-die-without-one-friday-field-notes/">Live by a Code, or Die Without One | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There are a lot of strange things going on in the world regarding masculinity and what it means to be a man. One of the questions I get all the time is, “Is there really an attack on masculinity?” I believe there is but at a minimum, there is certainly a dismissal of it. Unfortunately, much of the animosity towards men is somewhat warranted.

Now, granted, we’re never going to completely do away with the negative perception of men for a couple reason. First, some men will continue to behave in a manner that does not accurately reflect our role and responsibility in society. Second, some people will continue to use those exceptions in order to paint a broad brush of the supposed inherent danger of masculinity.

Regardless, we have an opportunity to focus on the external, which is how we’re perceived, and we should. We need to address false allegations of scrupulous behavior, the broad dismissal of and attack on masculinity, and the court system who seems to be targeting men in an attempt to destroy them and their families, to name a few.

But equally important is our need to focus on the internal – ourselves. When we learn to focus on ourselves and how we’re showing up in our families, businesses, and communities, much of the way we’re viewed and honored as strong, contributing men will take care of itself. Besides, the focus on ourselves is really the only thing fully within our control.

The best foundation for focusing on ourselves is to articulate, define, and live by a code. A code is an operating system. It describes the way you behave, engage, and show up. I’m talking about identifying and articulating a code that you feel is meaningful and significant. This isn’t about me telling you the way you “should” do it. It’s about arming you with the tools and information so that you can identify and live by your own code.

Here are five strategies for articulating your own code:

1. WRITE IT DOWN

Your code needs to be written. It needs to be articulated. I suggest that it be on one page. It doesn’t need to be a document. It doesn’t need to be a book or even a chapter of a book. It just needs to be one page that clearly articulates the most important things to you, not everything that’s important to you.

It’s been proven that goals and objectives that are written down are more likely to get accomplished. The same holds true with a code. Does it really even exist if it isn’t documented? It might be to a degree but certainly not as solidified as if there is written documentation of your code.

2. IDENTIFY YOUR VALUES

Get a piece of paper, a journal, or your computer out and list out the virtues, the qualities, the characteristics that you value above all else: strength, honor, integrity, sacrifice, commitment, family, exercise, health, wealth, abundance, mindset, etc.

Don’t eliminate anything from your potential list. Don’t narrow this down at all. All you’re doing right now is brainstorming.

Now, once you have this list of all the things you value, start narrowing it down. Consider this as a funnel. There are going to be some things, honesty and integrity for example, that are very similar concepts. Do you need to list both? Probably not. Is there one overarching virtue that you could use that would whittle that down into one?

If you list everything that you could possibly value in your life, it’s going to be too long. You need it to be short. You need it to be punchy. You need it to be strong. You need it to resonate with you at an emotional level and the only way to do that is getting to the absolute core of what you value, not everything you value.

Again, list out virtues. This is number two. List out your virtues, qualities, and characteristics, and then narrow them down into the ones that are most important. Now, I think this is important, and as I was thinking about what I wanted to share with you today, I was judging what I was going to share according to the code that me and my sons had written. What I suggest to you is that you write these statements, and they should be statements. Once you have the virtues and qualities and characteristics that you value, now you should turn those into sentences, but they should be statements.

I would suggest that you write them down as if you’re already living them. I’ll give a example where we didn’t do that in our code of conduct. The first one, for example, says, “We will be disciplined in whatever we pursue because discipline equals freedom.” I would actually rephrase this in thinking about it a little bit more, and we’ll touch on this here in a minute, not to “we will” but “we are.” We are disciplined in whatever we pursue because discipline equals freedom. The second bullet point is “When faced with difficult decisions and choices, we will always act with courage and bravery.”

3. WRITE YOUR CODE AS IF  YOU’RE ALREADY LIVING IT

Instead of writing out one of your codes as, “I will be disciplined,” write it as “I am disciplined. It might be a small adjustment in language but I believe the things we tell ourselves is powerful.  I also believe that we are constantly trying to find congruency between the way we view ourselves and the way we actually behave. So, if you tell yourself you are already a certain way, your behavior is likely to reflect that.

There is something to be said for making bold assertions regarding how you are currently living. We are constantly working towards that vision of ourselves. If the vision for yourself is that you act with courage and bravery, you’re naturally going to be inclined to move towards that. It’s not a matter of “we will do it when faced with it,” but “we do this now. We live by this code now. This code defines us now.”

4. REFER TO YOUR CODE OFTEN

It’s not enough to write this down once and file it away in your filing cabinet never to refer to it again. You have to refer to this thing often. Right now, I’ve got my code of conduct sitting right on my desk. I’m going to have it framed, and it’s going to sit right above my desk so I can read it and refer to it often.

You need to internalize your code. It needs to be part of you. It needs to be you. Refer to it often, have it somewhere in a location where you can see it. If you’re including your family in this process, I would consider incorporating this into discussing your code and even memorizing it with your wife and kids.

5. REFINE YOUR CODE ALONG THE WAY

This is not a one-and-done, set-it-and-forget-it document. Things change. You evolve. You grow. Priorities shift from time to time. You need to be able to be flexible, not so rigid in your code of conduct that you can’t take in new information and new ways of seeing the world and the way you interact in it.

Now, there should be some rigidity to it in that you’re not just manipulating it to get what you want or to do what you feel like you should be doing in any given moment that goes against what you know is a value of value. But you should be able to evolve, grow, and expand.

Those are the five steps. This is not a complex process. This is not something that needs to be overthought or overanalyzed or over-scrutinized.

Very simply, any great organization, family and, frankly, man has a way in which he will live his life. It’s not blurry. It’s not something he can’t clearly articulate. He knows exactly what he stands for at any given moment. And, because he knows exactly what he stands for, and exactly what he will not stand for, he’s able to make the best decisions in the heat of any given moment. When he’s tempted to go against what he values, he won’t because he’s clearly identified what is important to him and how he will behave.

Live by a code or die without one. I hope I’ve adequately articulated the importance of having a code, an operating system. Having a code has been invaluable in my life, and quite frankly, knowing what I stand for has served as the catalyst for growth, expansion, and all good things in my life.

The post Live by a Code, or Die Without One | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There are a lot of strange things going on in the world regarding masculinity and what it means to be a man. One of the questions I get all the time is, “Is there really an attack on masculinity?” I believe there is but at a minimum, There are a lot of strange things going on in the world regarding masculinity and what it means to be a man. One of the questions I get all the time is, “Is there really an attack on masculinity?” I believe there is but at a minimum, there is certainly a dismissal of it. Unfortunately, … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 24:25
A More Complete Beast | JACK DONOVAN https://www.orderofman.com/a-more-complete-beast-jack-donovan/ Tue, 02 Oct 2018 11:30:44 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8422 https://www.orderofman.com/a-more-complete-beast-jack-donovan/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/a-more-complete-beast-jack-donovan/feed/ 0 <p>What does it mean to be a complete beast? This is a question my guest, Jack Donovan, attempts to answer in his latest book, appropriately titled, A More Complete Beast. There is a reason the title is likely to resonate with you, as a man. Each of us understands that we are both man and beast. Today …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/a-more-complete-beast-jack-donovan/">A More Complete Beast | JACK DONOVAN</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

What does it mean to be a complete beast? This is a question my guest, Jack Donovan, attempts to answer in his latest book, appropriately titled, A More Complete BeastThere is a reason the title is likely to resonate with you, as a man. Each of us understands that we are both man and beast.

Today we cover so much about the subject of masculinity including why being a man has to be an intentional choice, the power of what he calls the “conquering eye,” how to avoid becoming a victim of victims, and how each and every one of us can become a more complete beast.

“Men have never marched and fought in wars for the right to cry. Men have never wanted that. That’s something others are pushing on them.” Tweet That— Jack Donovan

Jack Donovan

Jack DonovanGentlemen, my guest today is a man a lot of you are familiar with and someone I’ve had on the podcast before.

His name is Jack Donovan and he is the author of several books on the subject of modernity and masculinity including The Way of Men, A Sky Without Eagles, Becoming a Barbarian, and his latest release, A More Complete Beast.

As you may know, Jack is a fascinating man and probably one you wouldn’t expect to hear on this podcast (in fact, I made a joke about Jack, a pagan, and myself, a Mormon, walking into an ax-throwing bar just after this interview). That said, his views on the subject of manliness and masculinity, although controversial, resonate with so many of us because they’re spot on and refreshing in a time when more and more of society has a hard time even discussing what it means to be a man.

“[Men] are encouraged not to be masculine in many ways. Most of the messages you get through the mainstream media are for men to become more like women.” Tweet That— Jack Donovan

Show Highlights

  • What it means to become a more complete beast
  • Why you have to make an intentional choice to be a man
  • Why men are perceived as a threat to society
  • Why you should challenge yourself as a man
  • The four masculine tactical virtues – strength, courage, mastery, honor
  • Why some people try to redefine words to fit their narrative
  • The power of the “conquering eye”
  • Why it’s important to define an honor code for yourself
  • Why you should care about some people’s opinions
  • Avoiding become the victims of the victims
  • Sifting through the noise of others
  • Why there is no honor in being a victim, only in overcoming it
  • Why vulnerability is not as powerful as modern society would have you believe
  • Why masculinity is not a mask

“Do you want to be the lowest version of yourself – never get stronger, never challenging yourself – or do you want to go out and seek those challenges and become a man?” Tweet That— Jack Donovan

A MORE COMPLETE BEAST

The Iron Council

Very simply, the Iron Council is a band of brothers who want to help you improve in every facet of your life. You could do life on your own. You may even experience some moderate level of success.

But I’d argue, along with my guest, that there is power in banding with other men in order to achieve more. When you work shoulder-to-shoulder with other men who have experienced what you are going through, you tap into a powerful perspective you may not have considered before and arm yourself with a new set of tools to help you succeed in your family, health, business, and life.

When you join the Iron Council, you’ll have access to these tools like accountability, digital resources, our Battle Plan system, and so much more. To learn more and lock in your seat, head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“Living is about thriving. Are you going to try to thrive or just complain about how you got dealt a bad hand?” Tweet That— Jack Donovan

Connect with Jack Donovan

“What do you have control over in your life? You should be spending a whole lot more time worrying about that than the things you have no control over.” Tweet That— Jack Donovan

The post A More Complete Beast | JACK DONOVAN appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
What does it mean to be a complete beast? This is a question my guest, Jack Donovan, attempts to answer in his latest book, appropriately titled, A More Complete Beast. There is a reason the title is likely to resonate with you, as a man. What does it mean to be a complete beast? This is a question my guest, Jack Donovan, attempts to answer in his latest book, appropriately titled, A More Complete Beast. There is a reason the title is likely to resonate with you, as a man. Each of us understands that we are both man and beast. Today … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:07:17
Set Yourself Free | PETE ROBERTS https://www.orderofman.com/set-yourself-free-pete-roberts/ Tue, 25 Sep 2018 11:30:49 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8382 https://www.orderofman.com/set-yourself-free-pete-roberts/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/set-yourself-free-pete-roberts/feed/ 0 <p>Everyone once in a while you have the opportunity to sit down and talk with someone like you’ve known them for years. Although me and my guest today, Pete Roberts, have only known each other for six months or so, we share some core values when it comes to the way we approach our life, …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/set-yourself-free-pete-roberts/">Set Yourself Free | PETE ROBERTS</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Everyone once in a while you have the opportunity to sit down and talk with someone like you’ve known them for years. Although me and my guest today, Pete Roberts, have only known each other for six months or so, we share some core values when it comes to the way we approach our life, our business, and our responsibilities as men.

Today we talk about how arrogance is hurting men, how to instill discipline in your children, the importance of self-checking yourself, and how to set yourself free.

“I don’t look at Jiu-Jitsu as just a traditional martial art. I think that it’s more of a way of thinking about life.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

Pete Roberts

Pete RobertsMy guest today is friend and founder of Origin Maine, Pete Roberts.

I was fortunate enough to join him at his Jiu-Jitsu Immersion Camp a couple weeks ago and, while there, had an opportunity to sit down with him for an off-the-cuff interview about family, business, and life.

This is a man who I really admire and respect not only for his business acumen but the purpose and reasoning behind what he’s doing for his family, his employees, and his community.

You’ve heard me talk about Origin for months. Now you get to meet the man behind the vision and his talk on business and the world.

“You stop working, you start dying.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

Show Highlights

  • The real deal with being an introvert/extrovert
  • How Jiu-Jitsu translates into life
  • Why you aren’t as good as you think you are
  • How your arrogance is hurting you
  • The cycle of hardship and how it creates stronger men
  • The American Dream and how to bring it back
  • How to instill discipline into your children
  • Why brute strength isn’t always your ally
  • How to keep kids from going soft
  • The power of “tribalism” and conformity
  • How to create a powerful culture
  • Delegating roles and responsibilities
  • How to effectively use the Pareto principle to produce more
  • How you can tell a lot about people through who associates with them
  • How Decentralized Command can help you win in business in life
  • How to remove your emotions from the equation
  • The importance of self-checking yourself
  • Why you need to get rid of stuff in your life

“It’s good to be around people who are better than you at something where you work in that team to succeed.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

The Iron Council

Gents, I want to invite you to join our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council. It’s easy to believe that we can go at this life alone. And, the truth is that we might experience some success.

But when we miss the opportunity to band with other high-achieving men, we limit our ability to reach our full capacity. That’s exactly what the Iron Council is all about. You’ll be teamed up with a 15-man battle team, have access to hundreds of resources, assignments, and challenges, and get some much-needed accountability on your path to becoming that man you’re capable of becoming.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have embark on the path on your own. Join us inside the Iron Council and you’ll learn first-hand how powerful a band of strong, ambitious men in your corner can be.

Head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil to learn more and lock in your seat.

“I want the best solution. It doesn’t have to always be my solution, just the best solution.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

Connect with Pete Roberts

“To be a man is to raise a man.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

The post Set Yourself Free | PETE ROBERTS appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Everyone once in a while you have the opportunity to sit down and talk with someone like you’ve known them for years. Although me and my guest today, Pete Roberts, have only known each other for six months or so, Everyone once in a while you have the opportunity to sit down and talk with someone like you’ve known them for years. Although me and my guest today, Pete Roberts, have only known each other for six months or so, we share some core values when it comes to the way we approach our life, … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:32:35
10 Ways to Win With Your Kids https://www.orderofman.com/10-ways-to-win-with-your-kids/ Fri, 21 Sep 2018 11:30:20 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8397 https://www.orderofman.com/10-ways-to-win-with-your-kids/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/10-ways-to-win-with-your-kids/feed/ 0 <p>I can think of very few things as important as the role of fatherhood. Unfortunately, too many men are way too willing to step down from the mantle of fatherhood and into the lower tier of “buddy” or “bro.” And, while fatherhood may include elements of being friendly or being buddies, fatherhood entails so much …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/10-ways-to-win-with-your-kids/">10 Ways to Win With Your Kids</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I can think of very few things as important as the role of fatherhood. Unfortunately, too many men are way too willing to step down from the mantle of fatherhood and into the lower tier of “buddy” or “bro.” And, while fatherhood may include elements of being friendly or being buddies, fatherhood entails so much more.

Today, I share 10 strategies for ensuring you succeed as a father, which ultimately means your kids succeed as adults.

1: RENDER YOURSELF OBSOLETE

I made this strategy the first one I address because everything else falls behind the overarching theme of fatherhood – putting yourself out of a job. The ultimate objective of any father should be to raise fully functioning, self-sufficient men and women who will one day leave the nest to go out on their own and add value to this world.

Unfortunately, we see way too many sons and daughters (sons mostly) who live with their parents long after they should mooching off the people who have the responsibility to cut them off.

This isn’t an easy job and it’s not always fun. Frankly, it’s not really even that pleasant to think that your job is to get your kids to a position to where they don’t need you but that’s exactly what it is. And, if you can wrap your head around that idea, everything else I share with you today will be that much more effective.

2: MODEL THE MAN

In order for you to raise sons and daughter who have the desire and ability to be successful on their own, they are going to need a healthy role model to look to. That’s where you come in. It’s your job to model the type of man you wish your boys to be and the type of men you wish your daughter to be with.

It’s not enough to live by the mantra, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Our children need more from us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” Does this describe you? If it does, you have some work to do. Your children are watching you. They talk like you. They act like you. They think like you.

What does their behavior say about the type of example you’re setting?

3: MAKE LIFE FUN

Life doesn’t have to be boring. Learning doesn’t have to be miserable If it is, is there really any confusion about why are children just won’t engage in school and other learning opportunities? Of course not.

If, on the other hand, you can learn to engage them in a fun and creative way, you’ll have the power to teach them everything they need to know to be successful adults without them being miserable about it.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not suggesting that this level of fun should come at the expense of discipline and structure. You need a healthy dose of both. Life isn’t always fun but that certainly doesn’t mean it never should be.

4: PROVIDE DISCIPLINE AND STRUCTURE

I realize that you may be thinking this is at direct odds with what I suggested and, maybe it is. But it is imperative that while you show your children how fun and engaging life can be that you also teach them it is best to operate in a set of parameters you deem worthy.

There is a really disturbing trend in society today that seems to suggest we ought to let our children dictate everything about their lives. That is a grave mistake. Children do not have enough life experience (or a fully functioning brain) to make their own choices on important decisions in their lives. That’s why you’re the parent – to lead, guide, and direct them in a healthy manner so that they can, at some point, become strong, capable, and independent.

Your children need to understand the lines that are in place to keep them safe and progressing. Allowing your children to run wild with no supervision or guidance is selfish and destructive to their well-being.

As Jocko says, “Discipline equals freedom.” Let them experience how discipline will set them free.

5: LET THEM FEEL THE FULL WEIGHT OF THEIR CHOICES

Too many parents are too quick to rescue their children from themselves. Now, there are obvious reasons where this would make sense but there are a significantly larger number of instances where it’s okay to let your children experience consequences for their choices.

If you keep rescuing them every time they mess up, they’ll keep messing up. This isn’t rocket science. If you rob your children of the pain of bad decisions, they won’t learn to correlate dumb decisions to pain which is actually a very positive correlation to learn.

You are no the superhero and your kids don’t need rescuing. They need to learn through experience what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behavior. Sometimes it’s best for you to just get out of the way.

6: ROUGHHOUSE WITH YOUR KIDS

Roughhouse with your kids because it develops strength. It develops character. It develops the understanding of boundaries and how to be physical with another human being. There’s so much good that comes from this.

And, when it comes to roughhousing with your daughters, I learned a valuable lesson from my guest, Dr. Warren Farrell. He suggested that your daughters need to learn how to be accepted by other men outside of sexual attention. When you can teach your daughters that they are important to you, they will grow up with a healthy sense and approach to masculine attention. If you cannot be present for and with your daughter (even in roughhousing), they may begin to seek attention from men by using their body and sexuality.

Roughhousing is good for both boys and girls.

7: DON’T DO THINGS FOR YOUR KIDS THEY CAN DO ON THEIR OWN

This tip falls in line with number 5. Yes, it’s always going to be easier and faster to do things for your children. Remember, you’ve been doing for decades what they just learned.

Don’t fall into the trap of doing everything for your kids, regardless of how much they beg you to. Easier and faster isn’t the goal when it comes to raising children. Obsolescence is. So, empower your children by allowing them to come up with the solutions to their own problems, challenges, and tasks. You’ll be surprised at how resilient children are when there isn’t the easy way of having mommy and daddy do everything.

8: CREATE EXPERIENCES

It’s easy to want to buy your children things. It’s fun even. You get to see them light up and get excited. But you know that is short-lived. Toys break. Technology gets outdated. And, all the “stuff” you own loses it’s luster and practicality fairly quickly.

If you really want to do something for your children, work on creating experiences for them. Take them camping, hiking, or fishing. Show them the world. Take them to unique places. Experience life.

These are the types of things that will have a long-lasting impression on them. These are the types of things that show them what we’re capable of and all the opportunities this life presents. Stop buying so many things and start creating experiences instead.

9: LOOK FOR TEACHING OPPORTUNITIES

One of your primary jobs is to teach your children how to do live. We do this by taking time out of our day to teach them. I used to overlook so many lessons I could have taught my children simply because I thought that they’d just “get it.”

They won’t just “get it” unless you help them make the connection between the experience and the lesson. Sure, this is going to take a bit more time than not addressing it at all but if you really want your kids to win, you will help them see those connections.

Create margin in your day. Ask your children questions about their experiences. Share yours. When you do this, you will see their little wheels turning and be able to take pride in watching them grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

10: LOVE YOUR CHILDREN

You’d think this one would go without saying but it doesn’t. It doesn’t because when I say, “Love your children.” I don’t mean to say, “I love you.” Love is a feeling but it’s also an action.

If you love your kids, you will do what is in their best interest, not yours. This means that despite how you feel about certain things, you understand that the long-game approach to their well-being will serve them better in this world.

You’ll be less impatient. You’ll be slower to rescue them. You’ll be hesitant to do things they can do on their own. And you’ll do this because you know how it will serve them down the road. Fatherhood is not an easy role. It takes a lot of tough times and hard work to turn children into self-suffient adults but it’s what we do because we love them.

This mantle of fatherhood is such a high calling. It’s such an important role in the lives of our children and in society in general. I hope that I always live worthy to hold that title. I hope that I’m able to incorporate these ten steps in my children’s lives. Sometimes I feel like I’m the least qualified to give any advice about how to be a good father. But every time I’ve gone out and I’ve done these things, and I’ve engaged my children this way, they’re better off for it. Please take these things to heart. Take action. Be a good father. Be engaged with them. Implement these things into their lives, and everyone will be better served.

The post 10 Ways to Win With Your Kids appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I can think of very few things as important as the role of fatherhood. Unfortunately, too many men are way too willing to step down from the mantle of fatherhood and into the lower tier of “buddy” or “bro.” And, I can think of very few things as important as the role of fatherhood. Unfortunately, too many men are way too willing to step down from the mantle of fatherhood and into the lower tier of “buddy” or “bro.” And, while fatherhood may include elements of being friendly or being buddies, fatherhood entails so much … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 24:56
Leadership Lessons Learned in Combat| DAVE BERKE https://www.orderofman.com/leadership-lessons-learned-in-combat-dave-berke/ Tue, 18 Sep 2018 11:30:03 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8344 https://www.orderofman.com/leadership-lessons-learned-in-combat-dave-berke/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/leadership-lessons-learned-in-combat-dave-berke/feed/ 0 <p>Becoming better leaders is something all of us are striving to become. And, there’s no better place to learn how to be an effective leader than the battlefield of Ramadi, Iraq during one of the most dangerous times during the Iraq War. My guest today is Dave Berke, an instructor with Echelon Front and retired …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/leadership-lessons-learned-in-combat-dave-berke/">Leadership Lessons Learned in Combat| DAVE BERKE</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Becoming better leaders is something all of us are striving to become. And, there’s no better place to learn how to be an effective leader than the battlefield of Ramadi, Iraq during one of the most dangerous times during the Iraq War.

My guest today is Dave Berke, an instructor with Echelon Front and retired Marine Corps officer and fighter pilot. Today, we talk about taking those leadership lessons and applying them in civilian life, the importance of finding purposeful work, how to keep your children from going soft, delegating roles and responsibilities, and overcoming the obstacles of reality.

“You want to find a way that what you do matters, that you’re making an impact, that what you’re doing has meaning.” Tweet That— Dave Berke

Dave Berke

Dave BerkeMy guest today is Dave Berke.

He is a retired Marine Corps officer, fighter pilot, and ground combat leader. He spent three years as an instructor at TOPGUN and later went on to support task unit bruiser on the ground in Ramadi.

He’s flown the F-16, F-18, F-22, and F-35 but gave that up to serve in multiple combat missions in some of the most dangerous cities in Iraq.

He’s since gone on to become a leadership instructor with Echelon Front on the subject of leadership, decision making, risk mitigation, and creating winning teams.

“Our brains are wired to do something that has commitment and meaning.” Tweet That— Dave Berke

Show Highlights

  • The importance of finding a purposeful mission
  • Overcoming the obstacles of reality
  • Understanding that there are no shortcuts in life
  • How air combat differs from ground combat
  • What is the “best of combat”
  • How to combat loss
  • How to create a meaningful life
  • The purpose of warriors
  • How to keep kids from going soft
  • Why you should be careful of solving people’s problems
  • Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others
  • Delegating roles and responsibilities
  • When getting too close to your team hinders performance
  • Why you need to understand that conflict is not a bad thing

“There are no shortcuts. There’s the path, the commitment to that path, and moving down it every single day.” Tweet That— Dave Berke

The Iron Council

Men, one of the biggest reasons so many men have joined the Iron Council is the accountability and proximity to other men who are accomplishing big things in their relationships, business, and life.

So many men have bought into the lone wolf thing for so long. I did for a while and realized that because I wasn’t willing to band with other men, I was limiting myself from perspectives and ideas that I didn’t previously have access to. I found myself feeling like there was more to life but not really knowing what it was.

If that’s been nagging at you, I’d have you consider that you aren’t likely to find the answers you’re looking for. I had to create what I was looking for. All you have to do is tap into it – the 430+ brothers who have raised their hands and said, “I want more out of my life.”

If this sounds like you, learn more and lock in your seat at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“At the end of the day, what pays off is working hard. What pays off is being disciplined. What pays off is grinding.” Tweet That— Dave Berke

Connect with Dave Berke

“Every time you solve somebody’s problem for them, every time you give something to somebody that they could get for themselves, you’re hurting them.” Tweet That— Dave Berke

The post Leadership Lessons Learned in Combat| DAVE BERKE appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Becoming better leaders is something all of us are striving to become. And, there’s no better place to learn how to be an effective leader than the battlefield of Ramadi, Iraq during one of the most dangerous times during the Iraq War. Becoming better leaders is something all of us are striving to become. And, there’s no better place to learn how to be an effective leader than the battlefield of Ramadi, Iraq during one of the most dangerous times during the Iraq War. My guest today is Dave Berke, an instructor with Echelon Front and retired … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:06:06
20 Tips to Winning With Your Wife https://www.orderofman.com/20-tips-to-winning-with-your-wife/ Fri, 14 Sep 2018 11:30:02 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8355 https://www.orderofman.com/20-tips-to-winning-with-your-wife/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/20-tips-to-winning-with-your-wife/feed/ 0 <p>The union between a man and his wife is one of the most powerful and impactful relationships any man can engage in. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most challenging. Any time you get two people together with their own experiences, beliefs, and backgrounds, it can lead to some real challenges. But those challenges are well …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/20-tips-to-winning-with-your-wife/">20 Tips to Winning With Your Wife</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

The union between a man and his wife is one of the most powerful and impactful relationships any man can engage in. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most challenging. Any time you get two people together with their own experiences, beliefs, and backgrounds, it can lead to some real challenges. But those challenges are well worth the effort.

So much good comes from having a strong, virtuous, noble, independent, beautiful woman at your side. And, as with anything, if it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for. So, today, I want to share 2o tips that, despite the challenges that come with marriage, will help you win with your wife.

1: DON’T MARRY A CRAZY WOMAN

I made this the first lesson because you think it would go without saying. If you ignore the red flags you see in a potential partner, you do so at your own risk. The truth is that if there are red flags now, while you’re dating, those problems are only going to get worse, not better.

I realize that you may be in love with this woman. I realize that she may be wonderful in a lot of ways. Maybe you’ve decided to stay with her simply because she’s attractive and/or the sex is good. All of those are justifications and simply aren’t enough to keep you in a relationship with a woman who has some serious issues she needs to address before you take the plunge.

A lot of men will say, “All women are crazy.” That just isn’t true. All women are different and difficult to understand at times but there’s a huge difference between crazy and hard to understand.

2: ONCE YOU’RE MARRIED, CONTINUE TO DATE YOUR WIFE

Too many men stop dating their wife once they’re married. I understand. Life gets busy. We get jobs. We have children. Our responsibilities pile up. But if you avoid courting your wife after you’re married, you are neglecting the person who has the potential to be the greatest positive impact on your life. Never get so busy that you can’t take your wife out and treat her the way you did when you were attempting to win her over.

3: KEEP THE SPARK ALIVE BY BEING SPONTANEOUS WITH HER

It’s so easy to fall into a rut. It’s so easy to take her for granted. If you have any hope of making your marriage work, you have to keep the spark alive by surprising her in ways she doesn’t expect.

I hear from a lot of men who tell me that their wife says, “The spark is gone” or, “I’m not in love with you anymore.” I think a lot of this stems from a lack of adventure, excitement, and romanticism in the relationship.

Take your wife on dates. Go a mini-vacations. Take an adventure with her. Buy her flowers just because. Do whatever you can to surprise her in positive ways and keep the spark from extinguishing.

4: DON’T DITCH YOUR FRIENDS FOR HER

It’s tempting to forsake your friends for her. You want to spend all your time with her, of course. But if you can’t maintain healthy relationships with your buddies, you lose an extremely powerful outlet that she’ll never be able to fully provide.

There are certain things that she, as a woman, will never understand about your life. That’s not to say you should keep things from her but there are times when you need the voice of other men in your life. Having male friends is just as crucial as having her in your life.

5: FIND A HOBBY SHE ISN’T PART OF

It’s okay to do things just for you. In fact, it’s encouraged. This tip is similar to tip #4. You need to have time apart. If all your waking hours are spent with and revolving around her, you’ll both go crazy.

I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t have hobbies, activities, and interests you and your wife do together but I am suggesting that you reserve some just for you, and the guys if you feel so inclined.

6: ENCOURAGE HER TO FIND A HOBBY YOU’RE NOT PART OF

Just as you need time for yourself, so does she. Don’t make her feel guilty or bad for going out and doing things that uplift her. If you can’t learn to let her be her own woman, she won’t be as powerful in the relationship for and with you.

She needs time to herself so she can re-energize and come back into the relationship with more energy, enthusiasm, and exciting. It’s as the adage goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

7: DON’T GET FAT

It’s easy to let yourself go, especially after you’re married. With all the demands for your time, attention, and energy, sometimes something has to give. Too many men allow this to be their health.

Bottom line: if you’re fat and out of shape, you do not have the same capacity to engage with her that you would if you were in better shape. Get into the gym, eat the right foods, get the proper amount and right type of sleep. When you learn to take care of yourself, you’ll have more energy to give to here and you’ll be more attractive – physically, mentally, and emotionally.

8: TALK WITH HER ABOUT REAL SHIT EVERYDAY

It’s so easy to get inundated with the trivial bullshit of the day. If all you ever talk about is how many diapers had to be changed, what the weather looks like next week, and the new coaches you want to buy, is it really any wonder you don’t have a strong intimate connection with her?

Talk about eternity. Talk about the cosmos. Talk about the future and what it holds. Talk with her about your inner secrets you don’t share. Open yourself up to her. Allow her to open up to you. Do that, and you will forge a connection that cannot be replicated any other way.

9: DON’T LET YOUR KIDS GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Your children are important. But your wife is more important. You were with her first and you’ll be with her long after your children on raised and gone. And, besides, can you really serve your children if you and your wife don’t have the best relationship possible?

Set boundaries for your children. Don’t let them step over your conversations with her. Put them to bed at a decent hour so you and your wife have quiet time with each other. Not only is it good for you and your wife, it’s good for you children. One of the most powerful lessons you can teach your sons and daughters is how a man shows up for his wife. Do it.

10: REMIND HER HOW IMPORTANT SHE IS DAILY

You may think you know she knows how you feel about her (say that 10 times fast). But does she really know? Unless you show her, she doesn’t. Find a way to remind her daily. Leave her notes. Buy her flowers. Slap her on the ass when you walk by. Give her a kiss on the cheek. Hold her hand. Use your words. It’s not enough to know how you feel. You have to express it in a way that is meaningful to her.

11: HAVE SEX WITH HER OFTEN

It’s been proven (as if we needed a study) that partners that have more sex have a deeper and more significant relationship with each other. Have sex with her often – romantic, wild, soft, dirty, and every other way you two can imagine. What more can be said here other than be a man she wants to be physically intimate with and have fun like it was when you two were just getting to know each other.

12: BE A WINNER IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE

Be a winner with her. Be a winner with your income. Be a winner at work. Be a winner with your body. Be a winner with your bank account. In every single way possible, find a way to win. Women want to be with winners. Women don’t want to be with losers. You might think that’s unfair but you cannot reprogram tens of thousands of years of biological programming where women want to be with winners. If you’re a loser, you’re less likely to be able to salvage and maintain that marriage.

Guys, I was a loser. I was a loser. I was pathetic. I wasn’t winning my business. I wasn’t winning with my diet. I wasn’t winning with her. I wasn’t winning with my children. I was doing absolutely everything wrong. Is it any wonder that my marriage was falling apart? Do you want to win with her? Then win.

13: DON’T COMPLAIN TO HER AS OFTEN AS YOU ARE

Your wife isn’t a sounding board for everything that is going on in your life. Some things don’t need to be complained about. If all you ever do is complain about how hard life is, how mean your boss is, office politics, etc., etc., etc., how do you think she’s going to view you? Like a loser.

I’m not saying you can’t talk with her about the problems you’re dealing with but be solution oriented. If you can’t come up with solutions to your problems, what good are you to have around? You’re not. So, stop complaining and start doing.

14: BE STRONG AND CAPABLE, NOT WEAK AND PATHETIC

Be strong and capable in every way possible – physically, mentally, and emotionally. Women are the fairer sex. You are designed to be the bedrock of your relationship. What you and your wife build together will be determined on the foundation you become. If you’re weak and pathetic, the relationship will be weak and pathetic.

Strengthen the mind and body. Learn how to do things around the house. Be useful. The alternative is to be useless and no one keeps those who are useless around for very long.

15: HAVE A STRONG VISION AND ARTICULATE IT TO HER

Leaders have vision. If they don’t, they can’t lead. You have to have a vision of the future and articulate it to her in a way she believes in. If you can’t, she simply won’t follow you – there’s nothing to follow.

Spend time thinking about what you want your life to look like. Enlist her in the vision and ask for her support. Be someone worth following. If you’re struggling in your day-to-day tasks, failing around like a crazy person, she’s going to recognize that and walk. Why wouldn’t she? Know what you want. Let her know what it is. Make it happen.

16: INCLUDE HER IN THE DECISION-MAKING PROCESS

The decisions that you’re going to making in your life and marriage and going to impact her. Don’t you think you ought to include her on that process. I know many men who make bold, assertive decisions without including their wives in the process. What a shame. She isn’t your slave. She isn’t going to follow you down a path she doesn’t believe in. You aren’t the supreme leader you might think you are.

Include her in the process of making decisions on behalf of your family. She has to live with the results of those decisionss too. And, she’ll likely give you a perspective you haven’t yet considered. Two heads are better than one. Don’t make decisions on your won.

17: BE A MAN OF YOUR WORD

Don’t lie to her. Don’t cheat on her. Don’t short her. When you say you’re going to do something, whether it’s taking out the trash, doing a project around the house, or honoring your marital vows, do it. Be a man of your word. Be honorable. Be a man of character and integrity. And, if you mess up, fix it quickly. Nothing more needs to be said here.

18: FOCUS ON YOUR FAMILY AS MUCH AS YOU DO YOUR BUSINESS

It’s easy to get consumed with work. And, it’s noble. You have a job to do and a famiy to provide for. But if that comes at the expense of the relationship with you wife, you’re doing yourself and her a huge disservice.

It bothers me when I hear so many self-help “gurus” talk about the hustle and grind of business but completely overlook the fact that you should be hustling and grinding at home as much as you are at the office.

Establish some boundaries and find a way to let your work stay at work so that you can fully engage with the people who you’re working for in the first place. I can’t imagine there are any men who, on their deathbed, would wish they would have worked more. Don’t fall into the trap of placing your business before your marriage.

19: MAKE HER PROUD SHE CHOSE TO BE WITH YOU

Your wife chose to be with you for a reason. Maybe she saw something you didn’t even see in yourself. Prove her right. When she talks about you, she should do with with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. If that’s not happening, perhaps you’re not reaching the measure of the man you’re capable of becoming.

The truth is we all have room for improvement. I believe any reasonable woman knows this. It isn’t about being perfect, it’s about getting better every single day – for her, and for yourself.

Do the things a good man does. Be a good man. Be good at being a man. When you do, she will be honored she has the opportunity to be by your side.

20: BE A MAN (PROTECT, PROVIDE, PRESIDE)

This last one is plain and simple. Be a man. If you don’t know what that means, have a listen to this or read my book, Sovereignty.

Your job, as a man is to protect, provide, and preside over yourself and the people you care about. Make sure you’re doing everything you can to fulfill those responsibilities more fully. Your measure as a man isn’t simply your capacity, it’s your capacity and the fulfillment of that capacity that makes you who you are. You’ve got a job to do. As Marcus Aurelieus says, “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”

BONUS: DO NOT MAKE HER THE CENTER OF YOUR UNIVERSE

I know this may sound somewhat counterintuitive but if you want to win with your wife, you cannot make your world revolve around her. The fact of the matter is that you cannot control outside factors and if everything you do and everything you are is centered on her, you’re going to find yourself in a bad way when that changes, and it might.

Find a way to energize yourself. Find a way to stand on your own two feet without having to rely on her. Too many men ask their wives to provide way too much support to them and get upset when she (like any other human would) falters.

If you want to be the man for her, learn to be the man without her.

As you’ve gone through these tips, please understand that even if you execute flawlessly, relationships aren’t always going to work out. They aren’t always meant to be. That’s unfortunate but that’s the reality. But I can guarantee that if you implement every single one of these things in your life, every single day that things will work out. Not necessarily things with her but your life will work out.

I realize, like you, that it takes two in a relationship. It isn’t a one-way street. But, remember, there isn’t a thing you can do to change her. You can influence her but you can’t change her. And, the way you create maximum opportunities to influence her is by becoming more influential – by changing and improving who you are and how you show up. When you do, life (including your marriage) has a way of working itself out.

The post 20 Tips to Winning With Your Wife appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
The union between a man and his wife is one of the most powerful and impactful relationships any man can engage in. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most challenging. Any time you get two people together with their own experiences, beliefs, The union between a man and his wife is one of the most powerful and impactful relationships any man can engage in. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most challenging. Any time you get two people together with their own experiences, beliefs, and backgrounds, it can lead to some real challenges. But those challenges are well … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 33:58
JOCKO WILLINK | The Dichotomy of Leadership https://www.orderofman.com/jocko-willink-the-dichotomy-of-leadership/ Tue, 11 Sep 2018 11:30:55 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8304 https://www.orderofman.com/jocko-willink-the-dichotomy-of-leadership/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/jocko-willink-the-dichotomy-of-leadership/feed/ 0 <p>Extreme Ownership is a philosophy that has been coined by Navy SEALs, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, and one that most of you listening are familiar with. But when does extreme ownership become too much? That’s a question my guest, Jocko Willink, has answered in his new book, The Dichotomy of Leadership. Today, we explore …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/jocko-willink-the-dichotomy-of-leadership/">JOCKO WILLINK | The Dichotomy of Leadership</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Extreme Ownership is a philosophy that has been coined by Navy SEALs, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, and one that most of you listening are familiar with. But when does extreme ownership become too much?

That’s a question my guest, Jocko Willink, has answered in his new book, The Dichotomy of Leadership. Today, we explore that question, how to avoid taking things too far, how to overcome your own ego when you recognize it, how to strike the balance between caring for your team and placing the mission first, and so much more.

“There’s a choice you make when you get crushed. You either say to yourself, “I need to stay away from this. I’m never going to let this happen again,’ or you say, “I’m never going to let this happen again by learning everything I can about this so it doesn’t happen to me.'” Tweet That— Jocko Willink

Jocko Willink

Jocko WillinkMy guest today is a man who needs no introduction.

His name is Jocko Willink and this is the third time I’ve been fortunate enough to interview him for this podcast. Today, we cover his new book, The Dichotomy of Leadership (which is sure to be a New York Times Bestseller) the follow-up to Extreme Ownership.

As you are all well aware, Jocko is a Navy SEAL and was the commander of Task Unit Bruiser, the most highly-decorated special forces unit of the Iraq War.

I was fortunate enough to spend some time with him a couple weeks ago at Origin’s Immersion Camp and I can tell you that this is a man who lives what he preaches. I saw a perspective of him through his instruction and stories from his team that only solidifies my respect for who he is as a veteran, husband, father, and man.

“Human beings want to have control over their own fate.” Tweet That— Jocko Willink

Show Highlights

  • How to get into Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
  • How Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu translates into everyday life
  • How to remove your ego from the equation
  • When extreme ownership becomes a problem
  • How to avoid taking things too far
  • How and why you should allow your subordinates to lead
  • The dichotomy of caring about your team but putting the mission first
  • How to best honor the fallen
  • The meaning of duty
  • When to allow slack and when not to
  • The importance of appearance in leadership
  • Why you should make your boss look great
  • When you should and shouldn’t tell the truth to your team
  • Why you should avoid “false cheerleading”
  • Why making things fun for your children is critical towards their development
  • How to use the practice of “flanking” in leadership
  • How to overcome your own ego when you recognize it

“When you’re in a leadership position, what you say matters.” Tweet That— Jocko Willink

The Dichotomy of Leadership

Resources

The Iron Council

Gentlemen, it’s been a while since I’ve talked about our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council. We’ve been so busy with new shirts and gear, and our events but I do want to let you know that the Council is alive and thriving.

This is a band of brothers (over 430 men) all working to accomplish big things in their marriages, fatherhood, business, and lives in general. If you want to do more than talk about what it means to be a man, and actively work towards becoming the man you’re capable of becoming, band with us.

You’ll connect with like-minded men and get all the tools, guidance, resources, and direction that comes from having other men who have your back. You can learn more at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“You build credibility through performance and professionalism in everything you do.” Tweet That— Jocko Willink

Connect with Jocko Willink

“If I let my ego become more than the mission, I’ve got a problem.” Tweet That— Jocko Willink

The post JOCKO WILLINK | The Dichotomy of Leadership appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Extreme Ownership is a philosophy that has been coined by Navy SEALs, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, and one that most of you listening are familiar with. But when does extreme ownership become too much? That’s a question my guest, Jocko Willink, Extreme Ownership is a philosophy that has been coined by Navy SEALs, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, and one that most of you listening are familiar with. But when does extreme ownership become too much? That’s a question my guest, Jocko Willink, has answered in his new book, The Dichotomy of Leadership. Today, we explore … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:15:45
No One Owes You a Thing https://www.orderofman.com/no-one-owes-you-a-thing/ Fri, 07 Sep 2018 11:30:28 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8319 https://www.orderofman.com/no-one-owes-you-a-thing/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/no-one-owes-you-a-thing/feed/ 0 <p>There seems to be a growing trend of entitlement in society today. So many have begun to believe that because we live in an era of prosperity, that we’re entitled to things – that because air is coursing through our lungs and blood is pumping through our veins, some organization, government, entity, or individual owes …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/no-one-owes-you-a-thing/">No One Owes You a Thing</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There seems to be a growing trend of entitlement in society today. So many have begun to believe that because we live in an era of prosperity, that we’re entitled to things – that because air is coursing through our lungs and blood is pumping through our veins, some organization, government, entity, or individual owes us something. I’m here to tell you that no one owes you anything. If you want something out of life, go out and get it.

And, that’s the beauty of the world in which we live. We have the opportunities to go out and create exactly what we want. Opportunity is everywhere. When we assume that we’re owed something, we limit ourselves to the opportunities and abundance otherwise available.

See, what a lot of men believe is that their wife is responsible for their happiness. Or, that it’s their employer’s responsibility to ensure they have a job. Or, that it’s the government’s job to provide me with health insurance and a living wage. This line of thinking is absurd. It’s ridiculous to believe that you deserve something you didn’t earn. If you want it, you go out and get it. Earn it.

One of the biggest challenges with this entitlement mentality is that you begin to put yourself at the mercy of other individuals, organizations, and/or institutions. Take health insurance, for example. People ask that the government provide them health insurance, then we complain when the benefits aren’t exactly what they’re looking for. They ask that their employers provide job security then complain about the way that he runs their business. They ask their wives to keep them happy and fulfilled then complain when they aren’t doing it the way they think they should. This is the problem inherent in asking other people to give you what you think you deserve. You sell yourself short. You don’t have any right to complain about something when it’s handed to you.

If you really want better benefits, income, job security, health insurance, etc., great, go out and get it! Use the skills, tools, resources, and the virtues you possess as a man to go out and earn what it is that you’re after.

Disclaimer #1: I’m not talking about doing anything illegal, or immoral, or unethical. As long as it falls within the bounds of legality, morality, and being ethical, go out and you earn it.

Disclaimer #2: I’m also not suggesting that you don’t accept help. This is not being too prideful to accept a hand up when needed. This is about your ability to go out, provide, and carve your own path.

Let’s break down five key strategies for earning your way:

IF YOU SEE A PROBLEM, FIX IT

Men are inherently designed to solve problems. What I see too often is men who recognize a problem then sit back and wait for somebody else to do something about it. Most men believe it’s someone else’s responsibility to fix things. You can hear it when a man says, “Well, my boss wanted me to do X, Y, and Z, but he wasn’t willing to pay me more. So, to hell with that. I’m not going to do that.”

When you subscribe to that line of thinking, you miss a powerful opportunity to expand, grow, and push past what you were previously capable of. You also miss out on powerful opportunities that wouldn’t otherwise be presented to you. If there’s a problem in society, your job, your relationship, go out, fix it, and you make yourself indispensable.

STOP WAITING FOR PERMISSION

Stop waiting for the higher-ups, the higher powers, your boss, the government, and/or your wife to tell you when to act, how to act, and why to act. Go out and do it yourself. Remember the adage, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.” But so many men don’t do that. They sit by and wait. They see what needs to be done and don’t do anything about it. Then they have the audacity to be upset when those problems don’t get resolved.

Great news – you can go out and do it. You don’t need to wait for your boss. When you learn to take action without permission, you prove that you are valuable, that you have something to add, that you aren’t just taking from the equation but adding to it.

EXCEED EXPECTATIONS

Nobody expects much from you. I’m not suggesting they believe you’re not capable. I’m suggesting that most people understand this is the default of the majority of society. It’s the natural man. The natural man is lazy. He’s immediate gratification. He wants something for nothing. He wants the results without the effort. If you can prove to yourself and those around you that you’re willing to exceed what is expected, you make yourself so valuable that people will not be able to overlook you.

So what is the expectation? Find out. What does your wife expect? What do your children expect? What does your boss expect? What do your clients expect? Now, go out and you exceed that expectation. Surpass what they thought was possible and watch your life and the way people treat you change.

ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT

Gentlemen, asking for what you want is a very easy way to get what you want. The reason most people fail is simply because they don’t ask for what they want. Ask. Be assertive (here’s a great little workbook I recommend for this called The Assertiveness Workbook).

If you want something, ask. Nobody is going to read your mind. Nobody is going to try to guess what you’re after. Nobody is going to bend over backward and go out of their way to give you something if they don’t know what it is you want. But if you ask for what you want, then it’s likely you will get exactly what it is you’re after.

TAKE CALCULATED RISKS

Inherent within us is the ability to take risks, more so, I believe, than women. We are designed to push the bounds. When I tell you to take calculated risks, I’m not saying to be dangerous. I’m not saying risk yourself or jeopardize your family’s well-being. But I am saying that you should take some more calculated risks because you never know what life will hold for you unless you’re willing to push those bounds a little bit.

Don’t be complacent. Don’t be satisfied. Don’t be okay with the status-quo. When you go out and take calculated risks, sure, some of those things aren’t going to work out. But you’ll be surprised at how often some of these risks will actually pay off and produce results you didn’t previously think you were capable of.

So let me recap these strategies:

  1. If you see a problem, fix it.
  2. Don’t wait for permission.
  3. Exceed expectations.
  4. Ask for what you want.
  5. Take calculated risks.

You’re on a mission. Don’t sell yourself short. I don’t want to live that way. And, I don’t want you to live that way. I want you to do and be everything that you’re capable of being. We do that by understanding that nobody owes us anything and acting upon that knowledge. No one is here to rescue us but that’s okay because we don’t need that from other people. What we need to do is to assert ourselves go after what we want in this life.

The post No One Owes You a Thing appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There seems to be a growing trend of entitlement in society today. So many have begun to believe that because we live in an era of prosperity, that we’re entitled to things – that because air is coursing through our lungs and blood is pumping through o... There seems to be a growing trend of entitlement in society today. So many have begun to believe that because we live in an era of prosperity, that we’re entitled to things – that because air is coursing through our lungs and blood is pumping through our veins, some organization, government, entity, or individual owes … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 17:32
The Boy Crisis | Dr. Warren Farrell https://www.orderofman.com/the-boy-crisis-dr-warren-farrell/ Tue, 04 Sep 2018 11:30:49 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8264 https://www.orderofman.com/the-boy-crisis-dr-warren-farrell/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-boy-crisis-dr-warren-farrell/feed/ 0 <p>There is no question, our boys are in trouble. Take a look at any metric and it becomes painfully obvious that our young men are falling behind – violence, grades, drug abuse, and suicide to name a few. The questions is not, “Is it happening?” but, “Why?” Today I am joined by Dr. Warren Farrell, …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-boy-crisis-dr-warren-farrell/">The Boy Crisis | Dr. Warren Farrell</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There is no question, our boys are in trouble. Take a look at any metric and it becomes painfully obvious that our young men are falling behind – violence, grades, drug abuse, and suicide to name a few. The questions is not, “Is it happening?” but, “Why?”

Today I am joined by Dr. Warren Farrell, a leader in understanding the issues our boys are facing. We talk about how men have fallen into a “purpose void,” why boys need to be raised differently than girls, the rise of the Incels, and how to deal with the emerging boy crisis.

“In the old days, we had natural senses of purpose.” Tweet That— Dr. Warren Farrell

Dr. Warren Farrell

Dr. Warren FarrellMy guest today is Dr. Warren Farrell.

He is a leader in the movement to understand the myriad of issues our young men are facing. Previously, a feminist and the only man to ever be elected three times to the National Organization for Women, he has since seen what the feminist movement has become and it’s negative impact on our boys.

He’s been selected as one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders and has had numerous appearances on CNN, Lary King Live, Oprah, The Today Show, Good Morning America, New York Times, Forbes, and the Wall Street Journal.

He’s taught at all levels of education and is a frequent speaker at Fortune 500 companies, military branches, and even NASA. It was such an honor to talk to him and get so much incredible insight into his thoughts and boys and gender, in general.

“The gender pay gap is not actually a male/female gap, it’s a father/mother gap.” Tweet That— Dr. Warren Farrell

Show Highlights

  • The many ways in which our boys are in trouble
  • Why these problems were created by a solution
  • How men have fallen into a “purpose void”
  • The “hero paradox” and social bribes to men
  • Why our boys need to be raised differently
  • What happens to boy and girls when they’re dad-deprived
  • How fathering can become our purpose
  • Causes of depression and suicide
  • Addressing ADHD in our young men
  • Does the “gender pay gap” really exist
  • The rise of the Incels
  • How the ability to delay gratification is a huge indicator of future success
  • The key differences between heroic intelligence and health intelligence
  • How boys respond to biological fathers versus step-fathers
  • The importance of roughhousing

“The boy crisis is created by a combination of the ‘purpose void’ plus the ‘dad void.'” Tweet That— Dr. Warren Farrell

Legacy

Gents, we’re winding down on the last call for our inaugural Order of Man Legacy experience. This is a 3 1/2 day (September 20-23, 2018) event in the mountains of Southern Utah designed to help you usher your son into manhood.

I believe that one of our primary responsibilities as men is to help our young men understand our valuable role in society. Too often, our boys are being raised by women and an overly effeminate society that asks them to put away anything that makes them male.

We believe a little differently and believe it’s our job to encourage masculinity and help them understand how to use it effectively. That’s what the Legacy experience is all about.

If you have a son between the ages of 8-15 and you want the tools, guidance, and framework for helping him become a man by working through a rite of passage together, Legacy is for you. Act quickly as we only have two spots remaining. Head to www.orderofman.com/legacy to register.

“There’s a high correlation between roughhousing and the development of empathy.” Tweet That— Dr. Warren Farrell

Connect with Dr. Warren Farrell

“Empathy and emotional intelligence under fire are developed through roughhousing combined with boundary reinforcement.” Tweet That— Dr. Warren Farrell

The post The Boy Crisis | Dr. Warren Farrell appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There is no question, our boys are in trouble. Take a look at any metric and it becomes painfully obvious that our young men are falling behind – violence, grades, drug abuse, and suicide to name a few. The questions is not, “Is it happening?” but, There is no question, our boys are in trouble. Take a look at any metric and it becomes painfully obvious that our young men are falling behind – violence, grades, drug abuse, and suicide to name a few. The questions is not, “Is it happening?” but, “Why?” Today I am joined by Dr. Warren Farrell, … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:02:40
The Softer Side of Violence | IAN STRIMBECK https://www.orderofman.com/the-softer-side-of-violence-ian-strimbeck/ Tue, 28 Aug 2018 11:30:26 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8231 https://www.orderofman.com/the-softer-side-of-violence-ian-strimbeck/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-softer-side-of-violence-ian-strimbeck/feed/ 0 <p>Violence isn’t a word a lot of people believe should be attributed to men and his responsibilities. We know that isn’t true because we believe that the ability to violence is not only within us, it can be harnessed to keep ourselves and others protected from those who wish to do violence to us. Today, …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-softer-side-of-violence-ian-strimbeck/">The Softer Side of Violence | IAN STRIMBECK</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Violence isn’t a word a lot of people believe should be attributed to men and his responsibilities. We know that isn’t true because we believe that the ability to violence is not only within us, it can be harnessed to keep ourselves and others protected from those who wish to do violence to us.

Today, I am joined by Marine Corps Veteran, Ian Strimbeck to talk about why every man should learn how to harness the darker side of masculinity. We cover so much in this podcast including harnessing effective verbalization skills, how to get better at predicting human behavior, the power of intuition and how to use it effectively, and how to develop and harness the softer side of violence.

“Regardless of the probability of having to defend yourself or those you love, as a man, I still believe being able to so is a necessary skill.” Tweet That— Ian Strimbeck

Ian Strimbeck

Ian StrimbeckMy guest today is veteran of the United States Marine Corps, Ian Strimbeck.

Ian reached out a couple months ago and, as I was preparing for this conversation, I was extremely impressed by his resume as a veteran and warrior in not only the military but in the executive protection space.

He’s taken what he has learned on the battlefield and now teaches those who want to be better protectors of themselves and the people they have a responsibility for.

This was such a fascinating discussion with an extremely fascinating man and I think, not only are you going to enjoy our conversation, you’re going to walk away with some information that could just save your life.

“The minute you start freaking out [in a dangerous situation] is the minute you’ve started relying on your emotions. And, the minute you start relying on your emotions is when you can very easily die.” Tweet That— Ian Strimbeck

Show Highlights

  • Developing the soft skills required to face adversity
  • The difference between software and hardware when it comes to facing threats
  • Why every man needs to wrap his head around potential violence
  • How to avoid “target fixation”
  • How to develop and harness effective verbalization skills
  • How to get better at predicting human behavior
  • How the skills for violence are translatable to everyday life
  • Why we should learn to tap into our primal roots
  • The importance of humility in keeping yourself and other safe
  • Learning not to make yourself a target
  • The power of intuition and how to use it effectively
  • The four cues you should be aware of in others when looking for threats
  • How “profiling” can keep you alive
  • The correct priority of engagement
  • How to use appearance as a deterrent
  • Why establishing baseline behavior in others is so crucial

“I can guarantee you that the people out there who have been the victim of violence didn’t walk outside their house and say, “Today would be a good day to lose my life.’ Nobody body expects that.” Tweet That— Ian Strimbeck

Legacy

Gents, we’re winding down on the last call for our inaugural Order of Man Legacy experience. This is a 3 1/2 day (September 20-23, 2018) event in the mountains of Southern Utah designed to help you usher your son into manhood.

I believe that one of our primary responsibilities as men is to help our young men understand our valuable role in society. Too often, our boys are being raised by women and an overly effeminate society that asks them to put away anything that makes them male.

We believe a little differently and believe it’s our job to encourage masculinity and help them understand how to use it effectively. That’s what the Legacy experience is all about.

If you have a son between the ages of 8-15 and you want the tools, guidance, and framework for helping him become a man by working through a rite of passage together, Legacy is for you. Act quickly as we only have two spots remaining. Head to www.orderofman.com/legacy to register.

“When you’re put in these hairy, and deadly, and potentially life-threatening situations, the confidence in your abilities is more or less going to determine if you’re going to be a victim or a victor.” Tweet That— Ian Strimbeck

Connect with Ian Strimbeck

“The minute you give [violent criminal] your back, it’s all downhill from there” Tweet That— Ian Strimbeck

The post The Softer Side of Violence | IAN STRIMBECK appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Violence isn’t a word a lot of people believe should be attributed to men and his responsibilities. We know that isn’t true because we believe that the ability to violence is not only within us, it can be harnessed to keep ourselves and others protecte... Violence isn’t a word a lot of people believe should be attributed to men and his responsibilities. We know that isn’t true because we believe that the ability to violence is not only within us, it can be harnessed to keep ourselves and others protected from those who wish to do violence to us. Today, … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:00:50
Make Yourself Proud https://www.orderofman.com/make-yourself-proud/ Fri, 24 Aug 2018 11:30:47 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8246 https://www.orderofman.com/make-yourself-proud/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/make-yourself-proud/feed/ 0 <p>There are too many men who continually seek external validation for who they are and what they do. Whether they’re looking for that validation from their parents, kids, wife/girlfriend, or boss, it poses a very serious problem because, when we do, we end up achieving the exact opposite of what we should be striving for – …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/make-yourself-proud/">Make Yourself Proud</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There are too many men who continually seek external validation for who they are and what they do. Whether they’re looking for that validation from their parents, kids, wife/girlfriend, or boss, it poses a very serious problem because, when we do, we end up achieving the exact opposite of what we should be striving for – being proud of ourselves.

If you can look in the mirror with a sincere understanding that you are doing everything you can to be the best possible man you’re capable of becoming, that should be all you need. When you look for that in external sources, however, it’s a recipe for disaster. Here are four reasons why:

1. IT’S UNRELIABLE

People leave. People come. People go. People change their minds and their opinions. Seeking the validation of others is not reliable so, if you’re striving for that, be prepared for disappointment. Be prepared for a roller coaster of the ups and downs of people’s whims, desires, and wishes.

2. YOU SELL YOURSELF SHORT

If you’re relying upon somebody else’s metric of success, you likely living life less than you’re capable of. Most people have low expectations of themselves, and you. When you attempt to win over the approval of others, you measure success at their low standard. I know men, for example, who don’t care about how much money they make just as long as they make more than the next guy.

If you’re measuring yourself against somebody else who is producing inferior results and you just barely edge them out, how successful can you really be? Your metric, standard, framework, and benchmark should be the highest standard by which you operate.

3. YOU OVERLOOK YOUR UNIQUE TALENTS AND ABILITIES

For a long time, I compared myself to what other people were doing, how they did it, and why they did it. I began to think I was a loser because I wasn’t achieving the level of success others were. A big reason for that is that I was overlooking where I was inherently strong.

There are things about your experience, culture, background, beliefs, and ideas that have made you capable of doing something the guy right next to you can’t do because he hasn’t had those same experiences, beliefs, and ideas.

Don’t compare yourself to other people. Don’t do it somebody else’s way. Do it your way. If something sounds meaningful, engaging, and interesting to you, do it that way. You’re going to have infinitely more success doing it that way than you ever will by trying to do it someone else’s way.

4. YOU’RE STRIVING FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S DEFINITION OF SUCCESS

One of the questions I get asked all the time is, “What does it mean to be successful?’ The only correct answer that question is “autonomy.” Success is about doing what you want, why you want to do it, how you want to do it, and when you want to do it. It’s different for every single person. I cannot define success for you. You can’t define it for me. I can simply define it for me. I’m not interested in living by anyone else’s definition of success.

I see so many who lack confidence – the “X-factor” if you will. All of us have seen the guy who walks into the building and recognizes that there’s something different about him. This is a man who is not worried about what you think. He doesn’t care. He’s indifferent to it. A man like this, who has the “X-factor,” is a man who knows who he is, what he’s capable of, and moves in that direction.

I want you to be that kind of man. I know you do as well. Here are six strategies for developing the “X-factor” and the ability to look at the man in the mirror and be proud:

MAKE A PLAN

If you’re going at life haphazardly, taking a shotgun approach, and hoping something will work, you’re likely to default to what everybody else says you should be doing and, fall into the four traps I mentioned earlier. You don’t want to default to somebody else’s standard. You want to create your own standard and, you do that by having a plan.

At the end of every single day, I get my notepad out and I write exactly what I’m going to be doing the next day. Now, does it always work out the way that I planned it? Of course not. But having the plan in place is the thing that allows me to define and measure my actions against what I want to accomplish.

Make a plan. Have goals. Have objectives. Know what it is that you want to accomplish so that you can come back and ask yourself, “Did I get this thing done?” When you can answer, “yes” to that question you’ve given yourself the opportunity to feel proud based on the things that you’ve accomplished.

DO THE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU

Everybody talks about fear as not being real. That’s not true. Fear is real. It’s an emotion. It’s an experience. It’s designed to help you, but often, it has the ability to sabotage you. We become so afraid of doing the things that won’t necessarily hurt or kill us, but rather the things that simply make us feel slightly uncomfortable. Fear keeps us from doing those things.

And, when we avoid these things, even if we manage to accomplish some small degree of success in another person’s eyes, we know deep down inside that we didn’t do all we were capable of and that, instead of facing the fear, we cowered from it and ran.

Action Item: Take a notepad out and write down everything you want to do, especially the things that scare you. Now, start through the list. When you accomplish something you didn’t previously think you could do, you start walking the path of making yourself proud.

CELEBRATE VICTORIES

There’s a lot of self-help-type gurus out there who say, “Don’t celebrate the victories. Just move right on to the next one.” I understand that. As a high-achieving, it’s easy to move on to bigger, better, greater, and faster.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you can’t pause and think about what you’ve just accomplished, you’re doing yourself a disservice. And it doesn’t even have to be significant accomplishment. It could be very little things like completing a new project at work, asking an attractive woman on a date, having a difficult conversation with your wife or your child, or taking your first jiu-jitsu class. It doesn’t have to be some grandiose accomplishment in order for you to be proud of it.

Celebrate victories. Don’t relish in victories. Don’t live your life in the past but celebrate nonetheless. Then, after you’ve celebrated, rewarded yourself,  and recognized that you’ve done something great, move on and know it’s time for something even greater.

EMBRACE THE MEANINGFUL

Embrace things that are meaningful to you, not meaningful to other people and certainly not the things other people say you should do. Look, all of us are a little weird. All of us are a little strange. We all do things differently. There are things that are in my life I enjoy doing that other people would consider weird. I used to avoid those because I wasn’t “supposed to” or they weren’t “cool.” You know what, it wasn’t fun because I was doing what other people said I should do or what I thought I could “should do.”

Embrace the weirdness. Embrace the things that make you unique. Embrace the things you find meaning and significance in, and don’t worry about what other people say or think. Explore. Try new things. Be a little weird. You’re going to live a lot more meaningful and significant life when you do.

UTILIZE THE KAIZEN METHOD

A lot of men think that, if they can’t accomplish the biggest, best, and greatest all at once, that they’re somehow failures. That’s not the truth. You’ve got to get started.

I’ll give you an example of what I mean. About 2 1/2 months ago, I started running. There’s a hill right outside my house that is about a mile and a half to the top. When I started running, I couldn’t get a 1/10th of a mile without having to stop and walk for a distance before I could start running again.

Just last week, I ran the entire thing. The next day, I ran up and back down without stopping. I would not have been able to accomplish that if I wasn’t willing to at least get myself into the game.

You’ve got to get started. It’s going to be awkward. It’s going to be uncomfortable. You’re not going to be as successful as the guy standing next to you. You’re going to want to quit because you’re not as good as you’d like. And, that’s exactly what most people do. And, that’s why there are so many men who aren’t proud of who they are and the way they show up because they’re not showing up. They’re hoping, wishing, and praying that things will work out and somehow, miraculously, they’ll be good at something they’ve never even tried.

Look, if you’re good at something the very first time you try it, you’re not setting lofty enough goals. The goal should be to create something that’s not within your reach right now, that you can be working towards over a period of time. This is how we improve. This is how we get better. We build progress. And, when you get started slowly, steadily, and consistently you’ll be able to look back and not even recognize the man that you were. You’re going to be proud of the man that you are.

UNDERSTAND CONSCIOUSNESS

Consciousness could mean a lot of different things, but the way I’m defining it here is your ability, as a man, to look at yourself objectively and consider who you are, who you were, and who you have the potential to become.

See, humans are one of, if not the only, species on the planet who can understand their point in space and time, then consciously choose a new path simply because they want to. As a conscious being, you can look at who you are objectively. This analysis is not designed to beat yourself up and it’s not to be overly prideful in what you’ve accomplished. It’s designed to detach yourself from the outcome and analyze your performance and the results that inevitably follow.

We have a tendency to get so emotionally attached to our outcomes. We tell ourselves how dumb we are, how bad we messed up, and why we’re losers.” When we cling on to that and never let it go, it’s impossible to move forward.

You have to drop the baggage. You have to look at where you were, who you were, and how far you’ve come. This is consciousness. The more that you can do that, the more that you can objectively look at your life and recognize what you should be doing moving forward and who you have the potential to become.

I know that one might sound a little “woo-woo,” but the more that you’re aware of who you are and how you show up, the more likely it is that you can dictate how you’re going to be moving forward.

I want you to make yourself proud – not me, your parents, your kids, your spouse, your friends, perfect strangers on the interwebs, but you. I want you to be able to look at the man in the mirror and understand that you’ve done some great things, that you’ve accomplished some big things, that you are the best standard of success.

When you start making plans before you engage in activities, when you do things every single day that push you outside of your comfort zone and expand your potential to do more, when you celebrate victories, when you embrace the oddities and the strangeness that makes you who you are, when you embrace the 1% Kaizen Method, when you understand and you are aware of who you are and who you have the potential to become and, most importantly, you start working towards it, that’s how you make yourself proud. That’s how you stand in front of the mirror and look at the guy staring back at you and find yourself proud of who you’ve become, who you are and who you’re capable of being.

The post Make Yourself Proud appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There are too many men who continually seek external validation for who they are and what they do. Whether they’re looking for that validation from their parents, kids, wife/girlfriend, or boss, it poses a very serious problem because, when we do, There are too many men who continually seek external validation for who they are and what they do. Whether they’re looking for that validation from their parents, kids, wife/girlfriend, or boss, it poses a very serious problem because, when we do, we end up achieving the exact opposite of what we should be striving for – … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 23:57
179: How to Develop More Grit | Brian Call https://www.orderofman.com/develop-grit-brian-call/ Tue, 21 Aug 2018 11:30:00 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8196 https://www.orderofman.com/develop-grit-brian-call/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/develop-grit-brian-call/feed/ 0 <p>We live in a culture of ultimate softness but there seems to be a resurgence of men who understand the value of being tough, resilient, and gritty. These are the men I aspire to be more like because I understand how crucial it is, as Theodore Roosevelt states, to “keep the barbarian virtues.” Today, I …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/develop-grit-brian-call/">179: How to Develop More Grit | Brian Call</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

We live in a culture of ultimate softness but there seems to be a resurgence of men who understand the value of being tough, resilient, and gritty. These are the men I aspire to be more like because I understand how crucial it is, as Theodore Roosevelt states, to “keep the barbarian virtues.”

Today, I am joined by my friend, Brian Call, AKA Gritty, to talk about how hunting and connecting with nature makes you tougher, why we need to learn from the men who have gone before, the role parents play in developing fortitude in their children, and how you can develop more grit.

“I swear, all we did [as kids] from age birth until now is chop wood.” Tweet That— Brian Call

Brian Call

Brian CallGentlemen, today I have the honor of introducing you to my friend, Brian Call.

He is an avid bow hunter and the founder and host of the Gritty Podcast where he talks all things bowhunting and developing more grit.

I’ve been following him and his work for quite some time now and I finally had the chance to connect with him in this candid interview. What really resonates with me about Brian is his willingness to share not only his victories but his setbacks and how he’s managed to overcome them.

I hope you enjoy this powerful conversation with a man I really admire and respect.

“Life consumes life. Period. That’s a message I try to convey all the time.” Tweet That— Brian Call

Show Highlights

  • How to get started in bow hunting
  • How hunting makes you tougher
  • Developing discipline through hobbies
  • The dangers of being disconnected from your food
  • How the mass of our meat gets processed
  • Why eating meat is not unethical
  • How hunting creates a wide range of emotional sorrow and joy
  • Why you need to learn from men who have gone before
  • How to keep calm in a potentially dangerous situation
  • The role parents play in developing grit in their children
  • The danger of the “outrage society” in which we live
  • Why it’s not a good idea to search for “happiness”
  • How to overcome fear and weakness through exposure
  • How minimalism helps you become free

“I like to suffer.” Tweet That— Brian Call

Legacy

Along the theme of this podcast, fathers have the responsibility to develop grit and fortitude in their children. It seems that more and more our children, and especially our young men, are asked not to exhibit any of the characteristics of what makes them boys and men.

Since I recognize this as a problem, I’ve decided to help men do something about it by creating an experience, unlike anything you’ve seen before. This is our Legacy event and it’s going to be held on September 20-23, 2018 in the mountains of Southern Utah.

You and your son need to get to Las Vegas and we’ll handle everything from there in what I like to describe as a rite of passage for both you and your boy (ages 8 – 15).

We only have two spots remaining so, if you want to forge a new bond with him and help him develop the masculine virtues that will help him win at life, head to www.orderofman.com/legacy. Again, www.orderofman.com/Legacy.

“When I left after killing that elk and packing him out, I felt enriched as a person for persevering.” Tweet That— Brian Call

Connect with Brian Call

“Panic is what typically kills a person in a dangerous situation.” Tweet That— Brian Call

The post 179: How to Develop More Grit | Brian Call appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
We live in a culture of ultimate softness but there seems to be a resurgence of men who understand the value of being tough, resilient, and gritty. These are the men I aspire to be more like because I understand how crucial it is, We live in a culture of ultimate softness but there seems to be a resurgence of men who understand the value of being tough, resilient, and gritty. These are the men I aspire to be more like because I understand how crucial it is, as Theodore Roosevelt states, to “keep the barbarian virtues.” Today, I … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:15:29
Patience is a Virtue, Passivity is Not https://www.orderofman.com/patience-is-a-virtue-passivity-is-not/ Fri, 17 Aug 2018 11:30:21 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8210 https://www.orderofman.com/patience-is-a-virtue-passivity-is-not/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/patience-is-a-virtue-passivity-is-not/feed/ 0 <p>One of my biggest struggles is patience. I think the same holds true for any high-achieving man. We tend to want the results immediately. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way. That, however, does not mean we need to sit back and simply wait for our goals to come to fruition. Today, I share six …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/patience-is-a-virtue-passivity-is-not/">Patience is a Virtue, Passivity is Not</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

One of my biggest struggles is patience. I think the same holds true for any high-achieving man. We tend to want the results immediately. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way. That, however, does not mean we need to sit back and simply wait for our goals to come to fruition. Today, I share six strategies for exercising patience while assertively working towards our objectives.

Before I get to those strategies, it’s crucial that you understand that there is a huge difference between patience and passivity. Patience is allowing the work that you’re doing to manifest as the results that you’re after. Passivity, on the other hand, is letting everything go past you, not being assertive in what needs to done, and hoping, praying, and wishing that somehow things are miraculously going to turn out the way that you want.

With an understanding of the difference between patience and passivity, let’s break down these strategies:

LONG-TERM VISION

You’ve got to start, as Stephen Covey says, “With the end in mind.” If you don’t have some worthy objective, how are you going to know what to do? You’re not. Even if you do take some action, without a goal, you don’t really know what you’re moving towards. There’s nothing to even measure your progress against.

The very first step in exercising patience is having a vision. Take time out of every day and focus on that vision. Get it crystal clear in your mind. You need to be so clear about what you want that you can feel and experience it. The more that you ponder about your long-term goal, the more likely it is that you will maintain the course in the achievement of it.

TWELVE-WEEK OBJECTIVES

If you look out five years, that’s a really long time to commit to an endeavor. I don’t even know what I’m going to have for dinner tonight, let alone what I’m going to be doing over the next five years. One of the questions people ask me all the time is, “Where do you see Order of Man in five years?” Of course, I have a vision but I really don’t know how all of that will play out because there’s so much that’s going to be happen between now and then. Technology will evolve. The political climate will change.

This is why it’s imperative you break down your long-term goals into twelve-week objectives.

Maybe you want to lose 30 pounds, or run a marathon, or Spartan race. Maybe you want to start making $1,000 a month from a side business or a new venture. Maybe you want to secure a promotion or open the doors to your own shop. I don’t know what that looks like for you, but once you have the long-term vision, you need to start working backward into the shorter twelve-week objectives.

I typically have four twelve-week objectives. One of them is what I want to accomplish personally. I call this Calibration. Next, I consider my objectives for my relationships. I call this Connection. Next, I consider my physical health. I call this Condition. The last consideration is adding value through the work I do and my service in the community. I call this Contribution.

TACTICS

This component is critical. So many people out there focus solely on their goal without giving much consideration to how they are going to accomplish it. After you know what you want, you have to identify daily tactics that will inevitably produce the results you’re after.

You’ve spent the past 10, 20, 30, 40, maybe even 50 years engaged in certain patterns, beliefs, and activities. Those patterns have got you to exactly where you are today. The results you’re experiencing are not going to change overnight. Once you have your vision and twelve-week objectives, identify what you can do every single day that will yield your desired results.

Let me give you a couple of examples:

  • If, for example, you want to take your family on vacation, your tactic could be to save $20, $30, $40, or  $50 a day so that in 90 days, you have enough money to go on vacation.
  • If you want to run a 5K in 90 days, your tactic could be that you run for 30 minutes every day.

Your tactics should be simple. These are things that you can literally check off a list and say “yes, I saved my $30 today,” or, “Yes, I ran for 3o minutes today.”

I would recommend one tactic per objective that you can focus on relentlessly.

CHECKPOINTS

If you don’t have some sort of benchmark or some sort of progress report for where you are, it’s very easy to become discouraged and throw in the towel. If you aren’t measuring along the way, you’ll never know how far you’ve come.

If you have a twelve-week objective of paying off $10,000 of debt, in 30 days you should have $3,000 paid off, and, in 60 days, you should have a little over $6,000 paid off. These types of checkpoints let you know that you’re on the right track. Through those small little victories, you give yourself enough emotional and mental fuel to be able to continue down the path.

See, most people never look back to see how far they’ve come. All they do is look forward and think about how much further they have to go. While, of course, there’s value in looking down the road and understanding what you need to do between now and then, it’s okay to look back if you’re using it as fuel to propel you forward. Achieving checkpoints is an emotional win that will allow you to continue moving forward when you get discouraged.

AFTER-ACTION REVIEWS

The other day, I picked up my son from football practice. As he came over to me, I asked him how practice was and if he had done his after-action review yet. He said, “I don’t know what that is.” I told him, “An after-action review is an opportunity to evaluate how practice went so that you can be better at the next practice.

Whether you’re evaluating practice, a conversation, a project at work, or any other engagement or performance, an after-action review will equip you with the information you need to improve moving forward. Simply put, an after-action review is a series of five questions.

  • What did you accomplish?
  • What did you not accomplish?
  • What did you do well?
  • What did not do so well?
  • What are you going to do moving forward?

After-action reviews after every experience are crucial so that we can improve. When we do our after-action reviews, we can exercise patience because we know deep down inside that we’re doing the things that we need to do that will inevitably produce the results that we want.

MENTORS, COACHES, AND BATTLE BROTHERS

You have to have people in your life who are doing what you want to do. The reason this is so important is that, as you’re in the trenches, it’s going to become very easy to become discouraged if you’re not seeing the results as fast as you would like.

Also, it’s difficult to even know if you are moving the needle in the right direction because sometimes the progress is so small that you can’t even see it. Having an objective third party, who’s already walked the path that you’re on, can come back and say, “Have faith. Have a little discipline, Have a little dedication. Stay the course. You’re on the right path. It’s just going to take time.” If you don’t have that, and you’re not seeing the progress that you like, you’re going to give up too soon.

Have a mentor. Have a coach. Have a battle brother. Have somebody by your side who’s cheering you on, rallying for you, and willing to look back and say, “Keep going. You’re doing what needs to be done.” These types of people are invaluable in your life. They’re mentors, they’re coaches, they’re friends, they’re battle brothers, they’re people who care about you want to see you succeed.

Exercising patience towards some worthy objective is a challenge at times. Again, as high-achieving men, we tend to want the results now. That’s fine but we ought to be careful of setting ourselves up with a false sense of expectations of how quickly the results will manifest themselves.

Patience is a virtue and we must learn to exercise it. That said, we don’t want to be passive in life. We don’t want to wait for things and hope that things are just going to work out. We should be actively working towards those goals and understanding that, if we’re doing the right things, the results will inevitably come to fruition.

 

The post Patience is a Virtue, Passivity is Not appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
One of my biggest struggles is patience. I think the same holds true for any high-achieving man. We tend to want the results immediately. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way. That, however, does not mean we need to sit back and simply wait for... One of my biggest struggles is patience. I think the same holds true for any high-achieving man. We tend to want the results immediately. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way. That, however, does not mean we need to sit back and simply wait for our goals to come to fruition. Today, I share six … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 24:59
178: Free Markets, Finding Purpose, and Forging Fitness | Sal Di Stefano https://www.orderofman.com/178-free-markets-finding-purpose-forging-fitness-sal-di-stefano/ Tue, 14 Aug 2018 11:30:57 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8142 https://www.orderofman.com/178-free-markets-finding-purpose-forging-fitness-sal-di-stefano/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/178-free-markets-finding-purpose-forging-fitness-sal-di-stefano/feed/ 0 <p>There is so much to talk about in the world today but very few people who are capable of having an intelligent conversation about some sensitive subjects without completely losing their minds. Today, I am joined again by my friend, Sal Di Stefano to talk about a lot of these hot and polarizing topics including …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/178-free-markets-finding-purpose-forging-fitness-sal-di-stefano/">178: Free Markets, Finding Purpose, and Forging Fitness | Sal Di Stefano</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There is so much to talk about in the world today but very few people who are capable of having an intelligent conversation about some sensitive subjects without completely losing their minds.

Today, I am joined again by my friend, Sal Di Stefano to talk about a lot of these hot and polarizing topics including how technology is changing conversation, the moral implications of markets and governments, how important it is that fathers are in the home, the legalization of drugs, the shift towards nihilism, and everywhere in between.

“Personal responsibility gives you purpose and meaning. It’s empowering. And, without it, you live a potential life of nihilism and depression.” Tweet That— Sal Di Stefano

Sal Di Stefano

Sal Di StefanoSal Di Stefano is back for round two.

He is someone that I’ve gotten to know over the past couple of years. We’ve been able to connect because we agree on a lot of the same issues and are extremely interested in having important and relevant dialogue on topics most people shy away from.

Sal is the co-founder of MindPump Media. He’s spent nearly 20 years as a fitness and personal trainer and focused science and truth to the fitness industry.

Although we only talk about fitness and nutrition towards the end of this conversation, it’s apparent that Sal is someone who strives to find objective truth in all facets of life and prides himself and sharing that truth with others.

“Decentralization improves efficiency tremendously.” Tweet That— Sal Di Stefano

Show Highlights

  • The power of decentralization
  • How technology is changing conversations
  • The importance of embracing immerging technology
  • The problems with formal higher education
  • How free markets allocate resources effectively and efficiently
  • Why policy needs to be enacted based on data, not feelings
  • The moral implications of markets and governments
  • How minimum wage requirements price out entry-level workers
  • How the rejection of personal responsibility leads to nihilism
  • How money fixed the problem found in voluntary trade
  • The dangers inherently found in “equality of outcome”
  • How market specialization creates more productive results
  • The slippery slope of enacting laws to protect you from yourself
  • The negative and positive impact of legalizing drugs
  • How important it is that fathers are in the home
  • How children become a powerful source of purpose and direction for fathers
  • How and why every man needs to find purpose and direction in life
  • How your self-help journey should start in the gym
  • How intermittent fasting can benefit you in all aspects of your life
  • The slippery slope of enacting laws to protect you from yourself
  • The importance of nutrition in your health overhaul

“The worst people to spend money are the ones who bear no consequence for losing it, and didn’t earn it.” Tweet That— Sal Di Stefano

Order of Man Store

I don’t talk about it a whole lot but if you don’t already know, Order of Man has a store where you can pick up all kinds of gear and merchandise.

We just came out with our new Jiu-Jitsu rashguard by Origin Maine. We’ve got half a dozen hats, several shirts (including some new ones to be released in the coming weeks), patches, decals, and a whole lot more.

As you know, we don’t do a whole lot of advertising on this show (only the companies I already work with) so, if you feel so inclined, picking up some Order of Man gear is a great way to support the cause and mission of reclaiming masculinity.

Head to store.orderofman.com to see what’s available. Again, that’s store.orderofman.com.

“The burden of responsibility always sits squarely with the individual.” Tweet That— Sal Di Stefano

Connect with Sal Di Stefano

“One of the things about mankind that makes us so incredible and amazing is our ability to specialize.” Tweet That— Sal Di Stefano

The post 178: Free Markets, Finding Purpose, and Forging Fitness | Sal Di Stefano appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There is so much to talk about in the world today but very few people who are capable of having an intelligent conversation about some sensitive subjects without completely losing their minds. Today, I am joined again by my friend, There is so much to talk about in the world today but very few people who are capable of having an intelligent conversation about some sensitive subjects without completely losing their minds. Today, I am joined again by my friend, Sal Di Stefano to talk about a lot of these hot and polarizing topics including … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 2:05:15
Grow a Spine https://www.orderofman.com/grow-a-spine/ Fri, 10 Aug 2018 11:30:06 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8148 https://www.orderofman.com/grow-a-spine/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/grow-a-spine/feed/ 0 <p>Unfortunately, so many men are weak, cowardly, and otherwise pathetic. These are the men who allow themselves to be completely railroaded by their boss, wives, friends, and even children. They say, “yes” when they should say, “no.” And, they say, “no” when they should say, “yes.” You see it in the men who don’t know …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/grow-a-spine/">Grow a Spine</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Unfortunately, so many men are weak, cowardly, and otherwise pathetic. These are the men who allow themselves to be completely railroaded by their boss, wives, friends, and even children. They say, “yes” when they should say, “no.” And, they say, “no” when they should say, “yes.” You see it in the men who don’t know what they stand for, dance around important topics, sit the fence, and flip-flop back and forth on the issues. This is not only an issue of weakness but one of morality and obligation.

We, as men, are required to be strong – not only strong physically, but strong of integrity, character, and virtue – because when the situation calls for it, we have the responsibility of leading other people. We lead our families, businesses, clients, colleagues, co-workers, and neighbors. If we are pathetic, weak, and cowardly, people are not going to choose to be led by us. That will ultimately spell the difference between success and demise.

If you don’t have a spine and foundational principles you operate by, people aren’t going to follow you. They may pander to you but that will last only as long as they get what they want. The minute something else better comes along, they’ll abandon you because you lack depth.

And, that is the ultimate problem with spineless men. They don’t have any depth – no depth of character, virtue, and morality. These are not the kind of men that I want to surround myself with. This is not the kind of man that I want to be.

Unfortunately, it’s easy for us to be weak. There are, after all, some very real threats to us making a stand. I face it every day when I get messages from people who say how horrible and/or wrong I am for leading the charge of reclaiming what it means to be a man. If I didn’t have personal foundational principles in place, it would be very easy for me to attempt to appease other people. But that’s not what I’m interested in. I’m interested in sharing my perceptions, views, and philosophies about life. Through that relentless sharing of what I believe to be true, the right people are going to be attracted to me.

With that said, I want to address five strategies for developing a spine.

Disclaimer: When I talk about “growing a spine,” I’m not talking about ignoring new information that wasn’t previously available which could potentially change your perspective. In fact, if you’re the same person you are tomorrow that you are today, you’re doing something wrong. There is so much new information and insight you and I have access to that could potentially change our perspective. If you can’t be open to new ideas, you’ll never grow.

1. KNOW WHAT YOU STAND FOR

Consider this: How much time have you taken throughout your life to consider what it is you stand for, what you will tolerate, and what you won’t tolerate? What are the foundational virtues, values, and principles that you find valuable and important in your life? If you don’t know the answer to those questions, none of what else I share matters.

Take the foundation of a building, for example. If you’re building a structure, you don’t just throw up the walls and put the roof on without first creating the right foundation. Without the right foundation, it’s only a matter of time before your building crumbles. The same holds true with you. When the winds are blowing, the seas are tossing, and life is challenging you, no other system, strategy, or tactic will make up for strong foundational principles.

In my book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men, I addressed a code of conduct. In this code of conduct, I have identified 13 virtues that I will adhere to, practice, and incorporate into my life.

Do you have a code of conduct? If you don’t, you ought to spend some time contemplating what you value, what you will tolerate, and what you won’t. This is extremely powerful when faced with situations in which you’re expected to jeopardize your morals. What are your standards? What are you willing to stand up for?

2. GET GOOD AT SAYING, “NO”

It is amazing to me how many times I need to address this. So many men are so afraid of saying, “no,” potentially hurting someone’s feelings, and the way they might be perceived by others. If you want to grow a spine, you’ve got to get very, very good at saying, “no,” speaking up when you see something wrong, and bringing attention to something that you see as being “off.”

I understand this is intimidating. And, I know there may be consequences for doing it, but it’s critical you learn to use your voice to make a stand.

When you first learn to say, “no,” start with very simple things that aren’t going to ruffle any feathers or rock the boat because this is purely about building the habit of saying, “no.”

Next Level Tip #1: When you’re learning to say, “no,” challenge yourself not to give an explanation as to why. When we explain ourselves, we’re basically attempting to make ourselves feel more comfortable with our chosen response and, although there’s a time and a place for that, if you’re trying to grow a spine, you might as well make it as hard as you can on yourself. Again, offer no explanation. This is a very effective way of placing yourself in an awkward situation that will give you the mental and emotional fortitude required to develop your voice and make a stand when needed.

Next Level Tip #2: If you find yourself in a situation where you potentially have to jeopardize your standards, give yourself margin. What I mean is that if someone asks you to do something that you aren’t comfortable with, you aren’t required to answer them immediately. In fact, if you do, you’ll probably default to what they want you to do. Instead, get out of the situation into an environment that you now control. Then, re-engage in that conversation in a way you see fit. For example, if a boss, asks you to do something you’re not comfortable with, you might say, “Let me think about that,” or, “Can I get back with you on that?” Now, you the space to think clearly about what you want. This also gets you out of their element and back into your element so that you can make the decision possible.

3. DO HARD THINGS

Let me repeat: do hard things. Do the things that push you outside of your comfort zone. If you don’t feel like working out, work out. If you don’t feel like speaking in public, speak in public. If you don’t feel like having a conversation with someone, have that conversation with that someone. If you don’t feel like pursuing a new hobby, pursue the hobby. If you don’t want to start the new business, start the new business. If you don’t want to make that sales call, make the sales call.

You can see where I’m going with this. The more that you can do the things you’re afraid of doing, the more that you inoculate yourself against challenging and difficult situations when it actually counts. If you don’t test yourself or build up the mental, emotional and physical fortitude required to address these challenging and sensitive subjects, you will never be able to address it when the time comes.

Archilochus says, “We do not rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the level of our training.” So, if you want to stand on your own two feet in difficult times, you need to train that way physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. In other words, you need to be adequately prepared when the test actually comes.

4. FIND PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT YOU

I addressed building a team in last week’s Friday Field Notes. It’s imperative that you find people who will support you, stand by you, and have your back. The more people like this that you can surround yourself with, the more confidence you will develop and the more insight you will gain.

If you don’t have anybody who has your back on an issue, topic, conversation, or request that goes against your moral standard, you’re going to be less likely to adhere to it. On the other hand, if you’ve got an army behind you, people who love support, and believe in you, it will be significantly easier to make the choice you know you should.

5. BECOME A SOVEREIGN MAN

A Sovereign Man is a man who is at the mercy of no one. When you are at the mercy of other people for your livelihood, financial, emotional, or spiritual well-being, you are more likely to jeopardize what you know to be true because you’ve placed yourself in a compromising situation.

If you’re up to your eyeballs, for example, in debt, a mortgage company or financial institution has power over you. If you are so reliant upon your job because you are financially destitute without it, you’re more likely to make decisions that go against your code of conduct. If you’re overweight, out of shape, and unhealthy, you’ve placed yourself at the mercy of pharmaceutical companies, insurance providers, and the health industry because you need them to survive. If on the other hand, you’re healthy, lean, eating right, exercising, strong, and rested, you have become more independent. The more independence that you can claim in your life, the more capable you are of standing on your own two feet when required.

We live in an environment where more men seem to be weak, cowardly, pathetic, and sheep-like if you will. It’s sad to see men who jeopardize what they know to be true because they’re worried about fitting in, going with the pack, not ruffling any feathers, not hurting anybody’s feelings, and/or pandering to other people.

You place yourself in the best position possible when you learn to grow a spine in order to keep you standing upright. Marcus Aurelius says, “A man should be upright, not kept upright.” He’s talking about the ability to do what’s right on your own.

Fostering conviction, knowing what you stand for, getting comfortable with using your voice, doing things that are difficult, finding people in your life who support you, and becoming a Sovereign Man will forge you into the man you’re capable of being, and the kind of man that your family, friends, colleagues, co-workers, and neighbors need you to be.

The post Grow a Spine appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Unfortunately, so many men are weak, cowardly, and otherwise pathetic. These are the men who allow themselves to be completely railroaded by their boss, wives, friends, and even children. They say, “yes” when they should say, “no.” And, they say, Unfortunately, so many men are weak, cowardly, and otherwise pathetic. These are the men who allow themselves to be completely railroaded by their boss, wives, friends, and even children. They say, “yes” when they should say, “no.” And, they say, “no” when they should say, “yes.” You see it in the men who don’t know … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 20:59
177: Building a Business of Meaning and Significance | Jordan Harbertson https://www.orderofman.com/177-building-business-meaning-significance-jordan-harbertson/ Tue, 07 Aug 2018 11:30:48 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8102 https://www.orderofman.com/177-building-business-meaning-significance-jordan-harbertson/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/177-building-business-meaning-significance-jordan-harbertson/feed/ 0 <p>Building a business is something on so many men’s minds. I can’t even begin to count how many men I hear from who are unsatisfied with where they are with regards to their professional life and career path. Today, I talk with my good friend, Jordan Harbertson, co-founder of MTNOPS, to uncover how he’s been …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/177-building-business-meaning-significance-jordan-harbertson/">177: Building a Business of Meaning and Significance | Jordan Harbertson</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Building a business is something on so many men’s minds. I can’t even begin to count how many men I hear from who are unsatisfied with where they are with regards to their professional life and career path.

Today, I talk with my good friend, Jordan Harbertson, co-founder of MTNOPS, to uncover how he’s been able to build a thriving business. We cover the importance of proximity to other powerful people, how to know when you’re ready to take the entrepreneurial leap, striking the balance between giving and taking, and how every man can build a business of meaning and significance.

“You are who you hang out with but when you don’t have anyone to hang out with, it’s hard to become something else.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbertson

Jordan Harbertson

Jordan HarbertsonMen, I am honored to introduce you to my friend, Jordan Harbertson.

He and I met years ago as we both launched our businesses around the same time. I’ve been inspired watching him market his business and create something truly special for himself, his business partners, his community, and his family. I’ve watched him and his partners take MTN OPS from a simple idea to a powerhouse in the very crowded marketplace of supplemental nutrition.

Jordan is one of the most real people I know. He takes about his struggles personally and professionally including his transformation with his fitness over the past several months and what it takes to succeed in business and life.

“When you have somebody else there, it becomes part of you to say, “I’m not going to let this person fail. I’m going to let myself fail.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbertson

Show Highlights

  • Our dependence on technology
  • The importance of proximity to other powerful people
  • How to tell a powerful story to connect with others
  • How to build something special in your life
  • How to identify and connect with the right people
  • The first steps to discovering your purpose
  • How to know if you’re ready to take a leap into entrepreneurship
  • How to get your wife on board with a new venture
  • Addressing and overcoming obstacles
  • How improving communication improves all areas of life
  • How to strike the balance between giving and taking
  • Why a belief in what you’re doing is so important
  • How to become more influential by changing yourself

“When you believe in why you’re doing what you’re doing and you inspire others to believe, that is when you’ve succeeded as a business.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbertson

Legacy

Gents, by now you’re probably getting sick of hearing about the Order of Man Legacy but we are almost filled up. We have three spots left in what I believe will be the premier rite of passage event for fathers and sons.

There seems to a push in society against masculinity but I know the root of many of the problems we’re seeing in our young men is the result of too little positive male influence, not too much of it.

That’s why a couple months ago, I decided to create an event unlike any other that will help you, as a father, forge a stronger bond with your son and equip you with the tools needed to usher him into manhood.

We’re going to push. We going to bleed. We’re going to sweat. And, we’re going to help you teach your son what it means to be a man.

If you want to claim one of the last three spots, do it quickly. It will sell out! Head to www.orderofman.com/legacy. You and your son will both be better men for it.

“If you have anchors in your life, they’re only holding you back from moving forward. Once you raise anchor and set sail, you have all the opportunity to take on the seas of life and overcome the waves that lie ahead.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbertson

Connect with Jordan Harbertson

“When you find balance in being able to give and take in life, that is when you rise and elevate to your highest potential.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbertson

The post 177: Building a Business of Meaning and Significance | Jordan Harbertson appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Building a business is something on so many men’s minds. I can’t even begin to count how many men I hear from who are unsatisfied with where they are with regards to their professional life and career path. Today, I talk with my good friend, Building a business is something on so many men’s minds. I can’t even begin to count how many men I hear from who are unsatisfied with where they are with regards to their professional life and career path. Today, I talk with my good friend, Jordan Harbertson, co-founder of MTNOPS, to uncover how he’s been … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:23:00
How a Man Builds a Team https://www.orderofman.com/how-a-man-builds-a-team/ Fri, 03 Aug 2018 11:30:49 +0000 https://www.orderofman.com/?p=8108 https://www.orderofman.com/how-a-man-builds-a-team/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/how-a-man-builds-a-team/feed/ 0 <p>Most men know how critical it is to build a team around him but very few men invest the time, energy, and resources into building one. Today I talk about why a team is so important and share five strategies for building a powerful group of men who will help you succeed. As I brought …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/how-a-man-builds-a-team/">How a Man Builds a Team</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Most men know how critical it is to build a team around him but very few men invest the time, energy, and resources into building one. Today I talk about why a team is so important and share five strategies for building a powerful group of men who will help you succeed.

As I brought this topic up in our Facebook Group, I was surprised by how many men dismissed the idea of working with a team of men. A lot of the men commented that they work best alone. While I can certainly see the appeal in that, I don’t believe that’s the case. I believe that’s a position of arrogance, ego, and pride. I know in my own life (and I’m only speaking from personal experience) that I can not possibly grow to the level I have a desire to grow to without the help and support from a team.

This is why I hire coaches. This is why I surround myself with good people. This is why I go to industry conferences. The more I surround myself with other high achieving men, the more I’m able to achieve in my own life – not through osmosis, but through the power of proximity to other men.

Now, women are naturally better at this. Inherently they know how important it is to have bonds and tribes. My wife, for example, gets together with her girlfriends every couple of weeks. But men don’t seem to have the same ability or desire. Outside of school, competitive sports, the military, and/or a fraternity in college, men go out into the world and disengage from other men

When they find a woman, for example, and start having a family, the first thing to go is the relationships with the buddies. As much as I can see the value in going to work and being available for your family, there is so much value in banding with other men.

Today I’ll share with you why this is so important and why I think we ought to be careful of living as the “lone wolf.” I’ll also share with you five strategies in regards to how you can build your own team of high-achieving men.

But before I get into that, please understand that building a team has nothing to do with not being self-sufficient. Self-sufficiency and building a team are not mutually exclusive. You do both. You can learn to be self sufficient. You can learn to stand on your own two feet and, at the same time, learn to be a team player and build out a team that’s going to help you accomplish your objectives. I’m not suggesting that by building a team that you should weaken your position by relying solely on other people. I am, however, suggesting that other people can help you progress much more quickly and efficiently.

So, let’s talk about why building out a team is so important:

SOUNDING BOARD

Having other men on your team who are capable and successful gives you a sounding board. I’ve had ideas, where I’ve thought, “I’ve got the greatest idea in the world.” In my head it sounds great. It sounds perfect. It sounds like it’s going to be a phenomenal thing. Then, I start talking with other men who have gone through what it is I’m trying to accomplish and, even just sharing my idea with them, I think, “Ughh, I don’t know how I even thought that this would be a good idea.”

Another benefit of having a sounding board is that we could get ourselves into a situation where we have to make a choice about a career path or how to raise our children, for example. Having another set of ears could really be beneficial as we decide which path to take.

MORAL AND PHYSICAL SUPPORT

You cannot do everything that you want on your own. You can attempt to do it. And, frankly, you might even have some success but it’s not as effective as it could be if you would learn how to humble yourself enough to accept help from other people.

It’s not just about accepting help from anybody. It’s accepting help from those men who are achieving what you want to achieve. They’re the type of fathers that you want to be. They’re the type of business owners or community leaders, or husbands that you have aspirations of being like. If you can surround yourself with those people, then you’re going to have the moral, emotional, and physical support you need in order to accomplish your greatest objectives.

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS

When you have strong men surrounding you, you’re going to expand the way you think about things. See, we create these boxes in our lives, and those boxes are based on our own experience, cultures, backgrounds, and the scripts we live by.

The only way to tear down the walls that we have created is to expose ourselves to new information. That’s why, when you find a worthy band of brothers to work alongside you, you expand your capacity for growth. In turn, you’re going to see greater results than you previously even thought possible or even recognized were available to you.

ACCOUNTABILITY

There are times where I want to slack off, disengage, coast, and take it easy. But I’ve got men in my life who are holding me accountable. Part of that is through our brotherhood, the Iron Council. I’ve got coaches. I’ve got mentors. I’ve got people that are informally mentoring me that I aspire to be like and look up to.

All of these individuals help give me the accountability that I need to do the things that I’ve identified as being important to me.

Now that you can see how important a team is, let me share five strategies to building your own:

1. LEAD THE WAY

A lot of guys will say, “I really understand the importance of building a team. I know I need to have good men around me but I can’t really find anybody or there are no men meeting in my area.” This is a very passive way of looking at it. If this is you, essentially you’re suggesting that if only somebody else would do it, then you would tap into what they’re making or what they’ve created, and all would be well.

If you want to create a team – a powerful team – of men to help you and them succeed and thrive, you’re going to have to lead the way. You’re going to have to put something together. You’re going to be the one who is out recruiting. You’re going to be the one who is organizing events, conversations, and activities. You have to be the one to lead the way.

And look, when you start, people aren’t going to show up right away. It’s going to take time. It’s going to take commitment.

Years ago, and friend and I wanted to start a men’s basketball game every Tuesday night. We would show up at 9:00 PM every Tuesday. Initially, we would have one, two, or three guys show up. It took a really long time to build up steam. It probably took 8 – 10 weeks of me and my friend showing up every single Tuesday night at the same time before people got the picture that we were serious about doing this.

Once men saw that we were serious,  we began to have too many guys show up. We’d have 20 guys show up for basketball night.

They will show up if you’re consistent. Do not be passive on this and wait for somebody else to get something set up. It’s on you to establishing something. Once you do, people will come to you.

2. RECRUIT WITHIN YOUR CIRCLE

There are people you know – brothers, cousins, fathers, relatives, friends, coworkers – who could potentially make great members of your team.  Ask yourself, who you work out with, who you know, and who in your family could be a strong member of your brotherhood.

You probably haven’t looked at that at this point because it hasn’t been on your mind. Now that it’s on your mind, write names down. Now, you have people to invite to the game, guy’s night, fight night, a golf outing, or a camping trip. Inventory who is in your inner circle and who could potentially step up to a different level, in a different way, and include them in your band of brothers.

This weekend, for example, I’m going to spend some time with my wife and two friends and their wives. They’re in my inner circle but I’d like to get to know them better so I’ve initiated an opportunity to do that.

3. IDENTIFY GAPS

You don’t have everything figured out. There are gaps and weaknesses in your life If you recognize, for example, that you’re weak in regards to physical fitness, that’s a gap. You need to fill that gap. You need to consider bringing somebody in who’s physically fit, who has his health in order and in check because this is somebody who’s going to add value to your life. A great place to find that person would be at the gym.

Another example from my personal life is when I started my financial planning practice. I really struggled. Especially the first couple years. I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea how to sell, how to market, how to get appointments, or how to convert appointments. I just didn’t have any idea of what I was doing. It was extremely frustrating. Before I threw in the towel, I recognized that there were two advisors in my office who were perpetually producing. They were succeeding. They were booking appointments. They were making sales. They were growing their practices. They were generating revenue. They were securing assets.

I knew I needed their help but I didn’t want to tell these guys that I didn’t have it figured out. But, I didn’t want to quit either. So, I did the only thing that I knew how to do at that point. I approached each of them and asked, “Can I take you to lunch and talk about the business?” Both of them said yes. As we sat down over lunch, they gave me a few tips and suggestions. Eventually, I started partnering with these guys, bringing them in on client appointments, and sharing revenue with them.

Long story short, without my ability to recognize what I needed and, in humility, ask somebody else for help, I would have never thrived in my financial planning practice. From that day, my business took off. That’s in large part because I had a team of other advisors who were successful and wanted to help me be successful as well.

4. RECRUIT OUTSIDE YOUR CIRCLE

If you’ve identified a gap in health, business, as a father, a husband, or a coach, you now need to go where men are successful in these areas. If you struggle with fitness, you need to go to the gym. If you struggle with business, you need to get involved in the Chamber of Commerce. You need to go where these men are, and start recruiting outside of your circle.

This is probably the most challenging one for men because we a hard time letting go of our pride. But if you want to succeed, you have to humble yourself enough to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. It’s never comfortable doing something outside of your comfort zone. That’s why it’s called a “comfort zone. It’s never comfortable asking for help because, as a man, you’re supposed to have it figured out. And, if you don’t have it figured out, somehow you begin to believe that you’re less of a man.

No, it simply means you never learned it. So, go out and learn it. and enlist the help of your dad, friend, colleague, coworker, and/or stranger. It’s okay to go out into the world and identify that other people know more than you. Reach out to that person.

What’s the worst they’re going to say? “No, not interested” or just brush you off. Okay, well, you aren’t any worse off than you were before. You just need to find somebody else who could potentially fit into your team.

Start looking at people outside of your circle. Then, find ways to engage. Find ways to go where they go. Find ways to help them win. Find ways to buy their products. A lot of people ask me how I’ve been able to connect with guys like Andy Frisella, Tim Kennedy, Jocko Willink, and Grant Cardone. Very simply, I help them when. I invest in them. I invest my time, energy and resources in them.

You can do the same thing. I’m not special. I’m not particularly talented or gifted when it comes to connecting. I’m not ultra-wealthy. It’s just that I am willing to let go of my pride enough to reach, help other people win, and ask for help.

5. TEST YOUR POTENTIAL MEMBERS

Now that you’ve identified people to enlist, you’ve got to test these individuals. When I say this, I’m talking about testing whether or not they’re on the same page as you. You might identify some people who can really help you thrive and succeed – and you can help them thrive and succeed – but for whatever reason, they’re just not interested.

Maybe they’re at a different level. I’ve had people, for example, who I’ve reached out to, who are on a different level when it comes to their business acumen who have completely brushed me off. I used to let that get to me. I try not to let that get to me now because I realize these people are busy. They have their own lives. They probably got so many demands for their time. I just write it off as, for whatever reason, they’re not interested in the same thing that I am.

I don’t take that personally. I just recognize that this just isn’t a good fit. It’s not a good fit for them. It certainly isn’t a good fit for me. I check that individual off the list, and I move on to somebody who potentially is more interested, I could help a little bit better, or there’s a better fit.

You’ve got to find out who is really interested in being on your team. You can do this by asking questions. You can do this by talking about higher-level conversations as opposed to the weather or the baseball game last night. Really start asking questions. Really start having some of these deeper conversations. You’ll quickly find out who’s interested and who isn’t. From there, you can act accordingly.

At the end of the day, you just got to go out there and experiment. When I started Order Of Man, my goal was to create a movement that would help bridge the gap between what we as men know and what we actually do.

You can listen to our podcast and every other podcast in the world. You can read every book that I ever recommend. You can go to every conference, seminar, and event. You could do all of that and yet, get nowhere. It’s like running on a treadmill – you’re running, and running, and running and you feel like you’re “doing the work” but getting nowhere.

Again,  you’ve got experiment. You’ve got to test. You’ve got to see what works. You’ve got to put yourself out there. You’ve got to drop the pride. You’ve got to invest some time and energy. You’ve got to lead the way and be consistent.

This not an easy process. It’s not. It’s not going to fall in your lap. But it shouldn’t because, if it did, you wouldn’t appreciate it the way that I appreciate my team. I’ve worked my tail off to ensure that I have the right men in my circle that I can help win and, in turn, will help me win at a level I never thought possible.

That’s how I’ve been able to build this movement. That’s how I’ve been able to get in shape. That’s how I’ve been able to be a better father, husband, and man. I used to think that I could go at it alone. I could, and you could too. Odds are that you would probably create a pretty decent life for yourself. But I’m telling you, exponential results come from building a qualified team of men around you who will help you do big things in your life.

The post How a Man Builds a Team appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Most men know how critical it is to build a team around him but very few men invest the time, energy, and resources into building one. Today I talk about why a team is so important and share five strategies for building a powerful group of men who will... Most men know how critical it is to build a team around him but very few men invest the time, energy, and resources into building one. Today I talk about why a team is so important and share five strategies for building a powerful group of men who will help you succeed. As I brought … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 28:34
176: Be Legendary | Bert Sorin https://www.orderofman.com/176-be-legendary-bert-sorin/ Tue, 31 Jul 2018 11:30:02 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4392 https://www.orderofman.com/176-be-legendary-bert-sorin/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/176-be-legendary-bert-sorin/feed/ 0 <p>Legendary is a term we hear often. But, when is the last time you actually thought about what it meant? Being legendary is about creating and living a life in which the principles and lessons you leave behind will last long after you’re dead and gone. Today, I’m joined by the President of Sorinex, Bert …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/176-be-legendary-bert-sorin/">176: Be Legendary | Bert Sorin</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Legendary is a term we hear often. But, when is the last time you actually thought about what it meant? Being legendary is about creating and living a life in which the principles and lessons you leave behind will last long after you’re dead and gone.

Today, I’m joined by the President of Sorinex, Bert Sorin. We cover the importance of creating the right culture, balancing family time with professional ambition, leading through vulnerability, and how a man becomes legendary.

“Everything was always forward thinking. The work was just a physical manifestation of the things I had already dreamt in my mind.” Tweet That— Bert Sorin

Bert Sorin

Bert SorinMy guest today is Bert Sorin, CEO of Sorinex. If you’re not familiar with Sorinex, they are the leading innovator in American made strength and conditioning equipment.

Bert grew up in the business his dad started nearly four decades ago and has since gone on to develop, refine, and innovate the business into what it is today.

Bert is a former Division 1 Track and Field All-American and an Olympics trails athlete. Since then, he’s gone on to build his family business and create a legacy that reaches far beyond what he and his father have built.

He’s become a friend over the past several months and I can’t think of a better man to talk with me about leading ourselves, our businesses, and our families the best way we’re capable of.

“Being present is the utmost respect that you could give to your life as well as the people around you.” Tweet That— Bert Sorin

Show Highlights

  • The importance of the right culture
  • Balancing family time with professional ambition
  • The power of presence
  • Why vision is so critical
  • How to overcome going through the motions
  • How to find more time for yourself
  • How to deal with people clamoring for your attention
  • Leading through vulnerability
  • Why apologizing doesn’t undermine your authority
  • Finding the solutions to your own problems
  • Improving human performance
  • How to overcome stagnation
  • Pros and cons of running a family business

Legacy

Gents, by now you’re probably getting sick of hearing about the Order of Man Legacy but we are almost filled up. We have three spots left in what I believe will be the premier rite of passage event for fathers and sons.

There seems to a push in society against masculinity but I know the root of many of the problems we’re seeing in our young men is the result of too little positive male influence, not too much of it.

That’s why a couple months ago, I decided to create an event unlike any other that will help you, as a father, forge a stronger bond with your son and equip you with the tools needed to usher him into manhood.

We’re going to push. We going to bleed. We’re going to sweat. And, we’re going to help you teach your son what it means to be a man.

If you want to claim one of the last three spots, do it quickly. It will sell out! Head to www.orderofman.com/legacy. You and your son will both be better men for it.

Connect with Bert Sorin

The post 176: Be Legendary | Bert Sorin appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Legendary is a term we hear often. But, when is the last time you actually thought about what it meant? Being legendary is about creating and living a life in which the principles and lessons you leave behind will last long after you’re dead and gone. Legendary is a term we hear often. But, when is the last time you actually thought about what it meant? Being legendary is about creating and living a life in which the principles and lessons you leave behind will last long after you’re dead and gone. Today, I’m joined by the President of Sorinex, Bert … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:05:35
What is Masculinity? https://www.orderofman.com/whatismasculinity/ Fri, 27 Jul 2018 11:30:32 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4409 https://www.orderofman.com/whatismasculinity/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/whatismasculinity/feed/ 0 <p>I’ve received so many e-mails, messages, and texts from men asking about my take on the commercial that was put out by a company called Bonobos called Evolve the Definition. In the commercial, you’ll hear from men who aren’t masculine talk about why we should redefine what masculinity in an attempt to make them feel …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/whatismasculinity/">What is Masculinity?</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I’ve received so many e-mails, messages, and texts from men asking about my take on the commercial that was put out by a company called Bonobos called Evolve the Definition. In the commercial, you’ll hear from men who aren’t masculine talk about why we should redefine what masculinity in an attempt to make them feel more included. Look, a man can be masculine and/or a man can be feminine, neither of which necessarily make him more or less of a man. That’s because manliness and masculinity are not the same thing. Changing the definition of masculinity to make more men feel included does not make it right. Today, I’ll share with you why redefining masculinity is dangerous and how critical true masculinity is in society today.

MASCULINITY AND MANLINESS ARE NOT THE SAME THING

First, it’s important to understand the difference between being masculine and being a man. After all, women can display and exhibit masculine characteristics at times and men, on the other hand, can exhibit and display feminine characteristics at times. Masculinity in and of itself does not make you the man you’re capable of becoming. It’s a component of manliness but it’s not the only element.

I made the other day on Facebook and Instagram and talked about what masculinity is. I suggested that masculinity is courage, risk-taking, physical/mental/emotional strength, aggression, and the ability to do violence. There were those who wanted to argue with me about that and, specifically, took issue with masculinity as aggression and violence. They suggested that aggression and the ability to do violence are  immature and how “real men don’t behave that way.”

Again, I come back to the fact that masculinity and manliness are different. Masculinity is the effect of our hormones and physiology of our brains. Hormones and our physiology account for our ability to be aggressive and violent. Manliness, on the other hand, is the ability to harness masculinity in a way that will produce effective outcomes for everybody involved (we’ll talk a little bit more about that here in a bit).

I am amazed at the level of confusion with regards to what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman, what it means to be masculine and what it means to be feminine. It’s ridiculous. I don’t even understand why it’s controversial and why so many are working so hard to “evolve” the definition. Each of the virtues I listed above; courage, risk-taking, strength, aggression, and even violence are not inherently bad, evil, and/or wrong. In fact, all of those virtues, in certain scenarios are desirable traits in men.

The reason they are is that when the wolf comes knocking at the door, whether it’s a natural disaster, an emergency, a violent encounter with another individual, or a war, it’s the masculine virtues that serve us all well. If we’ve redefined masculinity and asked men not to be masculine, there will be no one to defend, protect against, and ward off the wolf. Obviously, that’s going to put us in a very compromising position. It’s always fascinating when I hear people talk about how bad men are and how toxic masculinity is yet nobody complains when men step up to do the work of men, when we’re stepping into natural disasters, when our police/fire departments are stepping into harm’s way in order to serve the people in their communities, or our warriors go to battle.

So, I say we worry less about evolving the definition like some of these organizations would have you do but that we reclaim what it means to be masculine.

Before we go any further, I need to explain a few things. It would be easy for me to talk about my opinions and beliefs about masculinity but that wouldn’t do it justice. Masculinity is about the science and facts, not my opinions and beliefs. In her book, The Male BrainLouann Brizendine discusses the hormones and physiology of the brain that make us uniquely men. Let me break down a couple of excerpts from her book:

  • Medial Preoptic Area (MPOA): This is the area for sexual pursuit, found in the hypothalamus, and it is 2.5 times larger in the male. Men need it to start an erection.

  • Temporal Parietal Junction: The solution seeker, this “cognitive empathy” brain hub rallies the brain’s resources to solve distressing problems while taking into account the perspective of the other person or people involved. During interpersonal emotional exchanges, it’s more active in the male brain, comes on-line more quickly, and races towards a “fix-it-fast” solution.

  • Dorsal Premammillary Nucleus: The defend-your-turf area, it lies deep inside the hypothalamus and contains the circuitry for a male’s instinctive one-upsmanship, territorial defense, fear, and aggression. It’s larger in males than in females and contains special circuits to detect territorial challenges by other males, making men more sensitive to potential turf threats.

  • Amygdala: The alarm system for threats, fear, and danger. It drives emotional impulses. It gets fired up to fight by testosterone, vasopressin, and cortisol and is calmed by oxytocin. This area is larger in men than in women.

Now, we’ll cover two specific hormones, testosterone and vasopressin: Again, an excerpt from Dr. Brizendine’s book, The Male Brain:

  • Testosterone: Zeus. King of the male hormones, he is dominant, aggressive, and all-powerful. Focused and goal oriented, he feverishly builds all that is male, including the compulsion to outrank other males in the pecking order. He drives the masculine sweat glands to produce the come-hither smell of manhood – androstenedione. He activates the sex aggression circuits, and he’s single-minded in his dogged pursuit of his desired mate. Prized for his confidence and bravery, he can be a convincing seducer, but when he’s irritable, he can be the grouchiest of bears.

  • Vasopressin: The white knight. Vasopressin is the hormone of gallantry and monogamy, aggressively protecting and defending turf, mate, and children. Along with testosterone, he runs the male brain circuits and enhances masculinity.

Now, there are other hormones to take into account but these are the primary masculine hormones. The reason I share these excerpts is that you need to understand that is backed by science. This is not my opinion or something I’m simply passionate about. This is verifiable scientific data proven to describe what masculinity is. Again, we should not attempt to redefine it. It’s proven. It’s not controversial.

These characteristics are important in men because, if we’re faced with a natural disaster, war, or threat of any kind, we need to be able to ward off those threats in order to keep ourselves and others people protected. I don’t understand why there is this complete dismissal of masculinity. This seems to be pretty reasonable and understandable.

If you’re reading this as a man and feel like it doesn’t describe you, that’s OK. But that doesn’t mean that masculinity must mean something else. It means that you may not as masculine as the next guy. Take warriors, for example. Obviously, these are very masculine men who are likely to have higher levels of testosterone and vasopressin.

Just because you may not have these higher levels of masculine hormones or aren’t as quote “masculine,” you aren’t less of a man. Again, there is a difference between masculinity and manliness. Masculinity is the physiology of our brains and our bodies, and the hormones we shared earlier. Manliness is about harnessing the tools we do have – physiology, hormones, experience, beliefs, etc. – in order to produce the outcomes that we’re after. This is manliness.

Again, masculinity is not up for debate. It is not subject to interpretation. It simply means that masculinity is the hardwiring and physiology of who we are.

I know men who are more masculine. I know men who are more feminine. But as long as a man is doing what he needs to do, protecting, providing, and presiding over himself, his family, his business, his community, and the people that he has an obligation and responsibility for, I believe he is acting in a manly manner. Sometimes that’s going to require a healthy dose of masculinity and other times it’s going to require a healthy dose of femininity. Men use all the tools at his disposal.

Femininity is nurturing, compassion, empathy, kindness, and love. These are all things a man can exhibit as well. These virtues are not exclusive to women just as masculine virtues are not exclusive to men. And, there are times where men should tap into feminine energy and power.

When it comes to the relationship with my wife children, if I ran around as the aggressive, dominant, controlling figure 100% of the time, I wouldn’t be a great leader. I wouldn’t be a great father. I wouldn’t be a great husband. At times, tapping into more feminine virtues will produce the outcome I desire for myself and the people I care about. What is interesting is that the assault on masculinity is an assault on femininity as well.

I believe there is a goal to make men and women the exact same. News flash: we’re not the same and we shouldn’t be expected to be. We compliment each other. What I do compliments what my wife does. Where I’m strong she may not be as strong. Where she’s strong I may not be as strong. And through the use of both masculinity and femininity, we can raise a family, grow our business, create the experiences that we want, and do all of the wonderful things that this life has to offer. We do that in harmony. Men and women are not at odds with each other, we complement each other.

Gentlemen I know you don’t need my permission but I’m going to say it anyway: it’s okay to be a man. Much of society says it isn’t. They’re wrong. It is okay to be a man. In fact, it’s encouraged. It’s encouraged that you display courage, risk-taking, strength, aggression and even violence at times when the situation calls for it. It’s okay that women are women. We are not equal. We are not the same. We are of equal importance and worth but different nonetheless. Although the way we accomplish certain tasks may be unique, they complement each other.

Quite honestly, the call to redefine masculinity is pathetic and misguided, at best, and destructive and dangerous to our well-being and society, at worst.

With that said, I am countering the claim. Instead of “evolve the definition.” I suggest we reclaim the definition. I call for men to step more fully into what it means to be a man and that we learn how to utilize and harness the masculine virtues that make us men. When we do, we better society, our families, our businesses, our communities, and the outcomes that are desirable for ourselves and the people we have a responsibility for.

The post What is Masculinity? appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I’ve received so many e-mails, messages, and texts from men asking about my take on the commercial that was put out by a company called Bonobos called Evolve the Definition. In the commercial, you’ll hear from men who aren’t masculine talk about why we... I’ve received so many e-mails, messages, and texts from men asking about my take on the commercial that was put out by a company called Bonobos called Evolve the Definition. In the commercial, you’ll hear from men who aren’t masculine talk about why we should redefine what masculinity in an attempt to make them feel … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 21:23
175: Overcoming Drug Addiction | Court McGee https://www.orderofman.com/175-overcoming-drug-addiction-court-mcgee/ Tue, 24 Jul 2018 11:30:50 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4366 https://www.orderofman.com/175-overcoming-drug-addiction-court-mcgee/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/175-overcoming-drug-addiction-court-mcgee/feed/ 0 <p>Addiction is something a lot of men are facing. Whether it’s an addiction to alcohol, pornography, or drugs, it is something that can be overcome. Today, I am joined by UFC fighter, Court McGee, to talk about his battle with addiction and his ability over the past decade to fight and win this never-ending battle. …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/175-overcoming-drug-addiction-court-mcgee/">175: Overcoming Drug Addiction | Court McGee</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Addiction is something a lot of men are facing. Whether it’s an addiction to alcohol, pornography, or drugs, it is something that can be overcome.

Today, I am joined by UFC fighter, Court McGee, to talk about his battle with addiction and his ability over the past decade to fight and win this never-ending battle. We talk about his positive upbringing, how he used fighting as an outlet, the disease of addiction, his downward spiral, and how he has overcome his drug addiction. This one is a bit different as I wanted to give Court the platform to share his story so I gave him the mic and let him run.

Court McGee

Court McGeeI’m honored to introduce you to my guest, Mr. Court McGee.

Court is a UFC fighter and the winner of the 11th season of the Ultimate Fighter. Despite his accomplishments in the ring, today, we focus on his personal life outside of it

Court spent a lot of his life hooked on just about every drug imaginable and once overdosed on heroin where he was estimated to have spent 8 minutes without a heartbeat or pulse.

There is no doubt that Court McGee is a man who knows how to fight but I am absolutely blown away with the story of his greatest battle in overcoming addiction, walking the path of long-term sobriety, how he handles adversity, and how he’s taken his greatest challenge and turned himself into a force for good.

Show Highlights

  • The disease of addiction
  • The importance of meaning and significance
  • How ego gets in the way and magnifies addiction
  • Why people turn to self-medication
  • How to avoid lying to yourself
  • The importance of finding a team to surround yourself with
  • Developing and fostering willpower
  • The power of a support unit
  • How martial arts and other activities can help in overcoming addiction
  • How to use your pain as a catalyst for growth
  • How to use your struggles to serve others

Legacy

I look around and I see so much good in society today but I also see a lot of areas in which society definitely needs to improve. The other day, someone asked me, “If I could change just one thing about the world, what would it be?” Without thinking, I suggested that I would ensure every household had an engaged father in it.

I truly believe that strong, loving, supportive fathers in the home have the power to change the world. But you know as well as I do that stepping into that calling is a real challenge.

This is the reason we’ve decided to host a new event designed to give fathers the tools they need to help usher their sons into manhood. When you join us at the Inaugural Order of Man Legacy experience, you will work alongside your son to complete a series of challenges and tasks designed to test you and your son physically, mentally, and emotionally.

We only have a few spots remaining. If you’ve been looking for a rite of passage for your son, this is it. The experience is September 20-23, 2018 for you and your son between the ages of 8 – 15. If you want to learn more and lock in your spot, go to www.orderofman.com/legacy.

Connect with Court McGee

The post 175: Overcoming Drug Addiction | Court McGee appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Addiction is something a lot of men are facing. Whether it’s an addiction to alcohol, pornography, or drugs, it is something that can be overcome. Today, I am joined by UFC fighter, Court McGee, to talk about his battle with addiction and his ability o... Addiction is something a lot of men are facing. Whether it’s an addiction to alcohol, pornography, or drugs, it is something that can be overcome. Today, I am joined by UFC fighter, Court McGee, to talk about his battle with addiction and his ability over the past decade to fight and win this never-ending battle. … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:09:00
How a Man Markets Himself https://www.orderofman.com/how-a-man-markets-himself/ Fri, 20 Jul 2018 11:30:02 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4371 https://www.orderofman.com/how-a-man-markets-himself/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/how-a-man-markets-himself/feed/ 0 <p>It is so important that a man learns to market himself because most everything you do in life is based on a relationship with another human being. When you have a relationship with another person, you have to be able to market yourself effectively in order to produce desired outcomes for yourself and for the people …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/how-a-man-markets-himself/">How a Man Markets Himself</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

It is so important that a man learns to market himself because most everything you do in life is based on a relationship with another human being. When you have a relationship with another person, you have to be able to market yourself effectively in order to produce desired outcomes for yourself and for the people you interact with. Your ability to market yourself effectively will spell the difference between your success and your failure.

This always makes for an interesting conversation because when I talk about sales and/or marketing, a lot of men think it’s about manipulation, sleaziness, or coming across as “salesy.” We all envision the slimeball used car salesman. That’s what we typically think of when we hear “marketing” or “sales.” But that’s not what I’m talking about at all. I’m talking about being genuine. I’m talking about creating win-win situations for you and the people you’re working with, whether that’s your family, clients, business partners, or employees.

You need to learn to market yourself with a potential spouse or if you’re married, your wife. If you’re trying to move your family in the right direction, you need to be able to build enough credibility with your wife so she’ll follow you, take your advice, and have a desire to move in the same direction. It’s the same thing with your children. If you’re trying to get your kids to do chores or do something they’re a little afraid of, it’s important that they’re willing to listen to you, that they trust you. The only way to do that is to market yourself effectively.

The same holds true with your clients. When I was in financial planning, and even with Order of Man, I need to be able to market myself effectively so that at a minimum you think, “Maybe this guy has something to share. Maybe this is a man worth listening to if not doing business with.”

It’s the same thing with your potential employer. If you’re trying to secure a promotion, you need to market yourself. Yes, I know that’s not all there is to it but I know plenty of people who are talented, educated, and gifted, and yet, they haven’t quite learned how to market themselves. It seems to me, from my experience, that the guys who know how to market themselves always get the girl, always get the clients, always get the promotion, their kids listen to them, and so much more. This is why it is so, so critical that we learn to develop the skill of marketing ourselves.

With that introduction, let’s break this down. Again, this is not about manipulation. This is about painting yourself in the best light possible. Here are seven strategies, tips, and tactics you can use to market yourself more effectively:

BECOME A MAN OF VALUE

First and foremost, you have to be able to be a man of value and integrity. Your words have to match your actions because, if they don’t, you might be able to trick and fool a few people temporarily but you will never achieve any level of long-term success.

This is why you see men who have a silver tongue bounce around from job to job or relationship to relationship. Eventually, they’re found out.  They’re exposed as a fraud and that they’re incapable of backing up the things that they talk about.

If you’re all show and you don’t have anything to back that up, nobody’s ever going to believe you over the long term. You might fool them once, but you’re never going to fool them twice. Go out there, earn, provide value, have a track record of success, develop yourself, learn new things, apply new information, and read new books. The more that you can consume yourself with improving who you are and showing up as the best version of yourself, the less that you’re going to have to manipulate others.

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

You’ve got to know your audience. If your audience is a potential spouse, you have to know what you’re looking for in a woman. You have to know what she looks like, what she needs, what activities she’s engaged in, her level of education, and her goals for a family. The same holds true with your clients. If you don’t know what your clients need or want, how are you ever going to market yourself effectively?

This also applies when it comes to promotions or getting a raise. A lot of people will ask, “Ryan, how do I secure a raise?” You have to understand what your boss is looking for. It’s likely that he/she is looking for an increase in the bottom line. If your boss looks at a raise or promotion as purely an expense, you’re not getting a raise.

If, on the other hand, you know they’re after an improved bottom line, you can actually go into a salary negotiation equipped to show a potential employer or boss what you’re going to provide in order for him/her to increase his bottom line.

When you know who your audience is, you can cater your message to them. Again, this is not about being manipulative. It’s not about being somebody different than who you are. It’s understanding what the other party is after so that you can craft a message with integrity that will highlight and illustrate what that other party is going to receive and how they’re going to be benefited by giving you what you want.

COMMUNICATE VISION AND EXPECTATIONS

I’ve never met a man who didn’t have an idea or a vision for the future. Every single person that I’ve met has ideas and things they want to accomplish down the road. It’s infinitely harder to find a man who’s able to articulate that message in a way that’s meaningful, credible, and inspiring to other people.

Frankly, that’s what I’ve been able to do here with Order of Man. I’ve got a vision. I’ve got an idea. I’ve got an objective. And, because I’m fairly good at communicating what that vision is and what those expectations are, we continue to see exponential growth in the podcast, our blog, and our social media platforms.

Learn to communicate. Learn to open your mouth. Learn to inspire people. How do you do this? You find other people who inspire you, then mimic and model what they’re doing. Read books on communication. Practice. Get up and speak in public. Go to Toastmasters. When you do whatever you can do to strike up conversations, share your vision, learn how to be a better communicator, expand your vocabulary, elicit feeling and emotion and story into your conversations, the more successful you’re going to be.

Pro Tip: Stories are critical. It is so important that you weave them into the fabric of the conversations that you’re having. I used to do presentations in my financial planning practice. I was so data-driven. Everything was data and numbers. I would see the eyes of the people I was presenting to glaze over. But it wasn’t until I shared stories of bankruptcy or financial success in retirement that people actually started to listen to what it is I was sharing.  Those stories elicited emotion. You’ve problem heard the adage that facts tell and stories sell. Learn to elicit emotion through story.

FRAME THE DIALOGUE

You have got to be able to articulate what is in it for the other party that you’re working for. Too many men are self-centered and they focus all of their attention on themselves. They completely forget that this is a relationship with another person or a group of people. The better you can get at articulating what’s in it for them, the more likely it is that person will follow you, be led by you, be inspired by you, and eventually buy whatever it is you’re offering.

What is in it for the other party? Is it a increased bottom line? Is it excitement and adventure with a potential date? Is it allowing your kids to get the chores done so they can go out and do the fun stuff they want to do? Frame the dialogue so they know what’s in it for them.

A Word of Caution: There are a lot of what I refer to as, “nice guys” out there. These men will bend over backward and succumb to everybody else’s wishes and desires at their own expense. Your engagements with other people have to be a win-win situation. You can frame the dialogue in a way that it will help other people succeed, but if you’re not also winning remove yourself from the table. Don’t allow yourself to be a doormat. Don’t roll over. Don’t get beat up. Offer what’s in it for the other person and be able to articulate and share what’s in it for you. Everybody knows that you are after a winning situation too so to pretend that you’re not going to get ahead is not a good idea. Share what’s in it for them. Share what’s in it for you. Come to a mutually beneficial understanding and agreement

PEOPLE ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO UGLY

People are not attracted to ugly. If, for example, you are in a business and your logo looks like crap and your website looks like it was built in the late ’90’s or early 2000’s, you’re going to have a hard time convincing clients to do business with you. If you want a date with a woman and you’re a slob, overweight, don’t dress well and can’t communicate and you can’t articulate your points, she’s not going to be convinced that she should spend her time and attention on you.

Some people hear this and say, “You shouldn’t judge a book by a cover,” and, “That’s pretty superficial.” Maybe it is, but it’s the truth. Every single day, we base who we’re going to invest our time, energy, and money, on how people look, the way they present themselves, the way they communicate, their logo, and/or their website. If your stuff looks like crap – including yourself – you need to level up. Level up your style. Improve your ability to communicate. Enhance your website. Enhance the logo. Have professionals help you with these things so that you can look the part and ensure that your desire matches the way you present yourself.

People are making a judgment based on your appearance before you even open your mouth and propose an offer. People are not attracted to ugly. Make sure you clean everything up.

EVALUATE YOURSELF

After-Action Reviews are critical. You have to objectively critique your performance. Nobody wants to face the fact that they are inadequate in certain areas, that they can’t communicate, their style needs to be improved, their website looks horrible. So, most men wander around in ignorance believing that they’re actually presenting themselves in the best light possible.

You have got to evaluate yourself. You’ve got to do after-action reviews. You have to be brutally and ruthlessly honest with yourself. If you want to improve in any area of life, whether that’s fitness, marriage, business, you have to evaluate yourself and being objective as to what you did well, what you struggled with, where you shined, where you fell behind, and what you’re going to do moving forward.

Constantly be looking to improve. Look for feedback from yourself. Be objective in those reviews. Look for feedback from qualified sources. If you can implement new ideas and improve, you will be able to enhance yourself and the opportunities that present themselves moving forward.

DO NOT CHASE, EVER!

This one is very, very important. I saved this one for last because it’s one that a lot of people overlook. The tip is, do not chase. DO NOT CHASE. DO NOT CHASE. When you chase, whether that’s a potential relationship with a romantic partner, a potential client, or your boss you come across as needy. The more that you come across that way, the less attractive you are.

This is a really tough one. I’ll give you an example. When I started in the financial planning practice 10 years ago, I was needy. I didn’t have any clients. Income was low. I had my wife and son to take care of and it was a real challenge. So I would chase clients around. I would call them all hours of the day. My potential clients could sense that and I gave them the power I should’ve maintained. It’s the same thing with a woman. The more you chase and put yourself in the position of neediness, the less desirable and attractive you are.

The challenge here is that you want something. You want that woman, or you want the promotion, or you want the business, or you want the client. I get that. I understand that. But the way you overcome the need and desire to chase is by adhering to these other six steps I shared. When you adhere to these other six steps, you put yourself in a position where you don’t have to chase. Your prospects are abundant and that if something doesn’t work out – the promotion, the job offer, the date – it doesn’t matter all that much because you’ve got another one lined up behind it. Again, the more that you incorporate these other steps into your life the more attractive you become and when you do, people will come to you.

Granted, you don’t want to overlook being able to go out there and pursue what’s desirable to you, but you’re going to find that opportunities are going to be presented to you when you become a man of value, when you know your audience, when you communicate great visions and expectations, when you frame the dialogue in way that allows other people to win, when you enhance the way that you present yourself, and through constant evaluation. This is how you put yourself in a position where you don’t need to chase, that you have enough clients, that you have enough prospects, and that you have enough confidence in yourself.

You should now have enough information to get you on your way to marketing yourself more effectively. Find what works for you. Wrap your head around the fact that if you are to be successful, you need to learn to be a marketer. This isn’t about being sleazy, “salesy,” or a slimeball. This is about living in integrity and being able to articulate the value you offer so that you can help other people win, and you, in turn, can win as well.

The post How a Man Markets Himself appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
It is so important that a man learns to market himself because most everything you do in life is based on a relationship with another human being. When you have a relationship with another person, you have to be able to market yourself effectively in o... It is so important that a man learns to market himself because most everything you do in life is based on a relationship with another human being. When you have a relationship with another person, you have to be able to market yourself effectively in order to produce desired outcomes for yourself and for the people … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 24:08
174: Yoga Fitness for Men : Dean Pohlman https://www.orderofman.com/174-yoga-fitness-for-men-dean-pohlman/ Tue, 17 Jul 2018 11:30:02 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4346 https://www.orderofman.com/174-yoga-fitness-for-men-dean-pohlman/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/174-yoga-fitness-for-men-dean-pohlman/feed/ 0 <p>Let’s be honest, Yoga isn’t a thought you’d immediately conjure up as manly. But, as I’ve recently discovered, participating in Yoga has significantly improved my performance, strength, and fitness all of which every man should be striving to improve. Today, I’m joined by repeat guest, Dean Pohlman, to talk about his new book.  We cover …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/174-yoga-fitness-for-men-dean-pohlman/">174: Yoga Fitness for Men : Dean Pohlman</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Let’s be honest, Yoga isn’t a thought you’d immediately conjure up as manly. But, as I’ve recently discovered, participating in Yoga has significantly improved my performance, strength, and fitness all of which every man should be striving to improve.

Today, I’m joined by repeat guest, Dean Pohlman, to talk about his new book.  We cover why every man should consider incorporating Yoga in his fitness regimen, how flexibility improves strength, the unknown benefits for men of participating in Yoga, and how a man can learn to connect mind and spirit through the practice of Yoga.

“Most people who are ‘fitness intelligent’ are including some form of yoga in their workout routine.” Tweet That— Dean Pohlman

Dean Pohlman

Dean PohlmanMy guest today is my friend Dean Pohlman. Dean and I met years ago when he was first on my show. Since then, we’ve become friends and I’ve started incorporating some of what he’s been teaching into my own life.

He is the founder of Man Flow Yoga, which is an online platform designed to help men learn the fundamentals and foundation of Yoga, and how it can improve every aspect of their fitness.

I was a little skeptical at first but I’ve been amazed and how much this guy knows about functional fitness, strength building, and men’s health in general.

Today, we talk about a lot of different elements of health and fitness including the message from his latest book, Yoga Fitness for Men.

“Yoga is a holistic practice that integrates spiritual and movement. It also just happens to be good for your flexibility, body control, and balance.” Tweet That— Dean Pohlman

Show Highlights

  • What is Yoga
  • The benefits for men of doing Yoga
  • The difference between Yoga and simply stretching
  • The spiritual component of practicing Yoga
  • Why it’s important to learn how to connect the body and spirit
  • How to develop more “flow”
  • How Yoga helps improve heart rate variability
  • How flexibility improves strength
  • Developing a personal philosophy for life
  • Why Yoga pairs well with resistance training
  • How often one should do Yoga
  • 7 keys to Yoga success
  • How to get started

“Yoga means ‘to yolk’ or to become one.” Tweet That— Dean Pohlman

Yoga Fitness for Men

Iron Council

I know you’ve heard of the Iron Council by now but the question is, have you taken the time to find out the benefit it offers.

Quite honestly, when I launched the Iron Council, which is our exclusive mastermind, more than two years ago, I wasn’t really aware of what it would turn into. This is a collection of over 400 men from all over the world working together to improve their lives.

As I’ve seen the men inside the Iron Council transform themselves, they’ve salvaged marriages, connected with their children, secured job promotions, launched new businesses, gained a new level of focus and clarity, developed confidence and assertiveness, and generally live more fulfilled and satisfied lives.

Whether you feel like you’ve plateaued in life or you’re simply looking to take it the next level, find other highly motivated men to encourage you, support you and, give you the kick in the pants cannot be overstated.

Learn more and join us at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“The ultimate goal in yoga in it’s purest form is enlightenment, to have a sense of oneness with the world.” Tweet That— Dean Pohlman

Connect with Dean Pohlman

“From an injury resistance standpoint, doing Yoga, improving your mobility, and improving your flexibility is huge for preventing injury.” Tweet That— Dean Pohlman

The post 174: Yoga Fitness for Men : Dean Pohlman appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Let’s be honest, Yoga isn’t a thought you’d immediately conjure up as manly. But, as I’ve recently discovered, participating in Yoga has significantly improved my performance, strength, and fitness all of which every man should be striving to improve. Let’s be honest, Yoga isn’t a thought you’d immediately conjure up as manly. But, as I’ve recently discovered, participating in Yoga has significantly improved my performance, strength, and fitness all of which every man should be striving to improve. Today, I’m joined by repeat guest, Dean Pohlman, to talk about his new book.  We cover … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 47:15
How to Find a Hobby https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-find-a-hobby/ Fri, 13 Jul 2018 11:30:07 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4348 https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-find-a-hobby/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-find-a-hobby/feed/ 0 <p>Today, I want to talk with you about finding a hobby. Now, I know that when I say that, there are going to be a lot of men who think, “I don’t have the time. I don’t have the energy. I’ve got obligations, priorities, and responsibilities. I would love to be able to carve out …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-find-a-hobby/">How to Find a Hobby</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Today, I want to talk with you about finding a hobby. Now, I know that when I say that, there are going to be a lot of men who think, “I don’t have the time. I don’t have the energy. I’ve got obligations, priorities, and responsibilities. I would love to be able to carve out time to do things for me but I just can’t.”

I can understand where that comes from. I’ve been there. I’ve been in situations where I feel like I’ve been up to my eyeballs in activities, duties, and responsibilities. For a long time, for me to carve out any space –  emotional, mental, or physical – just seemed impossible.

But, I’m telling you through experience that if you cannot find a way to carve out time for yourself to participate in activities that engage your mind and your body, you are not going to be effective as you could be. And, if you do find a way to be effective under those conditions, it will be for a very short period of time until you eventually burn out. That burn out will place burden and strain on the relationships you know are important. It is so imperative that you find a hobby. And, it doesn’t really matter what that hobby is as long is it engages your mind, hands, back and your body.

I’m sure you’ve heard the adage, “you cannot pour from an empty cup.” And yet, for so many men that’s exactly what they do. They give, and give,  and give, and give until they absolutely cannot give any more. I can appreciate that. I can respect that. That said, life is not a sprint; life is a long-term commitment. And, if we want to make it to the end, we’ve got to find a way to take care of ourselves.

We all inherently understand and realize the importance of having a hobby and having friends to spend time with. What I’d like to do is give you some keys, pointers, and tips I’ve used in my life that have helped me find, develop, articulate, and spend time in hobbies and activities that are important to me. Before I get into the five tips I have, I’ll share with you some of my hobbies to get you thinking about some things you may be interested in.

One thing I do once per week is Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I’ve been doing that for about two months now. Crossfit is another hobby as well. I know that might fall more in line with fitness but it’s also a hobby for me. In addition to that have a 1500 square foot shop where I do woodworking. It’s been a good experience and it just gets me out of the house and it’s my space. And, lastly, I’ve recently got heavily involved with is archery and bow hunting which has been an amazing outlet.

So, those are a few of the things I do for fun. Now, what you do for fun could be the same or it could be completely unrelated: painting, car mechanics, making and throwing knives, and/or shooting firearms. There are so many different avenues to explore so let’s get into five key points so you too can find a hobby that works for you.

EXPLORE BROADLY

So many men look at what other people are doing and they think they “should” be doing that. I would suggest that you don’t do that and instead, explore broadly. If it comes to your mind and it seems semi-engaging, try it. You might hear somebody playing the guitar and you think you should try that. Yes, you should absolutely try that. That’s the only indicator that it’s worth giving a shot: the fact that you’re even semi-interested in it. So, before you get too deep into one hobby, pigeonhole yourself into one thing, and spend countless hours and thousands of dollars, I would suggest to you that you worry, at first, about exploring broadly. If it comes to your mind, just try it. Just try it.

As important as it is to get good at saying, “no,” it’s also important that you learn to say “yes” to opportunities you just haven’t said “yes” to before. How often do we limit ourselves in our ability to find new activities that are going to be interesting to us because our default answer is “no?” Instead of saying “no” so much, try saying “yes” to potential interests, explore broadly, and try as many things as possible.

You can always weed those things out that aren’t interesting to you after you try them. And, be sure to weed them out very quickly so that you can explore something else sooner. Through that process, you’ll be able to find something that is engaging for you and that you can dive deeper into.

ASK YOUR FRIENDS

Ask your friends, family members, colleagues, and co-workers. Ask them what they do for fun. Maybe they’re into four-wheeling. Maybe they’re into rock climbing. Maybe they’re into gardening. Maybe they’re into grilling. Again, it doesn’t matter what it is. Simply ask other people what it is that they’re doing and then, explore broadly.

One of my friends is getting into oil painting. He does an unbelievable job on his portraits and it’s engaging and interesting to me. I’m going to give it a try. Now, I’m not going to spend thousands of dollars on it. I’m not going to invest a bunch of time, energy, money, and resources into it. I’m just going to give it a shot because it sounds intriguing and I owe it to myself to give it a shot.

Ask the people in your life what they’re doing and if something catches your attention, give it a shot. See what you think. You’re not committing to anything other than trying it.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

We live in a world where access to information so much more readily available than any other time in history. You can be reading a book on any topic in a matter of a couple of minutes. If I make a book recommendation to you, you can jump on Amazon, download it to your phone, and be reading that within two minutes on any particular subject. We’ve got YouTube and social media. And, the one that I use quite a bit is Instagram. I use the search function to find all kinds of different hobbies, activities, and interests that sound engaging.

Educate yourself. Learn. Explore. Be curious. The more you can, the more you’re going to find that you gravitate towards certain topics, interests, activities, and discussions. Common themes are a pretty good indicator. Finding common threads should be an alert that you may have found an avenue you should consider exploring. And, again it’s not about pigeonholing yourself; it’s simply giving yourself permission to try everything that comes into your mind.

CARVE OUT THE TIME

Most men are guilty of not doing this. If you are genuinely interested in finding a hobby that’s going to engage you, you’ve got to carve out time during your day to participate in that hobby. Every time I make a post about me working out or going running in the middle of the day somebody inevitably says “Well, wouldn’t that be nice if…” What they’re saying is that they don’t have the time or they don’t think they have the time. Every single one of us has the same 24 hours in the day. It’s just a matter of how we use it. If you can carve out 15 or 30 minutes, or an hour or two out of every week and, if you’re intentional about it, giving that time to a hobby wouldn’t even impact the rest of your life.

As you’re carving out time though, make sure you’re setting a very clear expectation with the people who are going to be affected by the decisions you’re making. For example, if you dedicate Wednesday nights to archery, it would probably be a pretty good idea that you communicate that with your wife and your kids. If you don’t, they’re going to step over that boundary. It’s not that they’re trying to intentionally step over the line. It’s that they don’t even know the line exists.

Part of carving out the time is setting the expectation and communicating it to others. That way, if Wednesday nights don’t work out for the family dynamic perhaps Tuesday nights would be better. It’s extremely important that you are intentional and deliberate about carving out the time of your day and letting everybody know what the expectation is so they’re not stepping over your time commitments.

Also, explain your hobby in a way that helps them see that this is not only advantageous for you but it’s advantageous for them. Explain that if you have time to participate in this hobby, you’ll come back recharged.

Just last, for example, I was having a bad day. I was off mentally. I was out of it. I was in a weird place. My wife recognized that and she said to me “Hey, why don’t you just go for a run?” So, I went for a run and I felt better. It was good for me. She recognized it. She knows that when I take time for myself and listen to a podcast or zone out in my own head for a bit that I come back into the relationship better off.  Understand that for yourself and make sure you’re explaining it to the people that you care about.

DIVE DEEP

We’ve talked about exploring broadly. We’ve talked about asking friends what they’re doing. We’ve talked about educating yourself on different ideas, topics, and hobbies you could participate in. We’ve talked about carving out the time. Now, once you’ve tried some new hobbies and you recognize certain ones that are more engaging, it’s time to start diving deep. Now is the time to start investing more time, energy, and resources into mastering that interest.

When I started to get into archery, I didn’t buy the bow immediately. I went out and tested it. I asked some friends who had done archery if I could shoot their bow. In fact, I just had a buddy of mine do the same thing. He called me over the weekend and said “Hey man, I’m thinking about getting into archery. Can I go out with you?” Of course, I went out with him to shoot. I want to share my interests with him. He shot the bow and enjoyed it but didn’t have to invest a lot of time. We were only out there for two hours. We spent some time together, had some laughs, had some good conversations, and did a little archery. He found out that he enjoyed it. Now, he’s going to dive a little bit deeper. He’s going to invest in his first bow, then he’ll likely dive a little deeper and a little deeper and a little deeper.

You don’t want to commit yourself fully to one thing without exploring broadly. But once you’ve done that, then invest the time, energy, and resources. Along with that, I would suggest you invest in conferences, events, and groups that are dedicated to your specific hobby.

For example, I will be in Salt Lake City this week participating in a Total Archery Challenge. I’m diving deeper into it because I enjoy it. I would never have done that two, three, or four months ago but now it makes sense because I realized how much I enjoy it. I realized how much better it makes me and more effective and energized when I come back into the rest of my life.

Gentlemen, I want you to go out. I want you to find a hobby. I see too many guys who are up to their eyeballs in responsibilities and obligations. They’ve just stacked so much stuff onto their plates that they’re just not enjoying life. A friend of mine asked, “If you knew that this sunrise was the last sunrise you’d ever see, how would you live your life today?” As I thought about the answer to that question it was a bit dismal because I’m doing a lot of things in my life that I don’t necessarily enjoy.

How much time are you carving out for yourself? How much are you enjoying life? How much do you smile? How much do you laugh? How much fun do you have with other friends? How much do you just let go of some of those burdens, responsibilities, and obligations from time to time?

I know that last questions is strange coming from me considering we’ve been talking about responsibilities for 3 1/2 years but I want you to be a better man. I want to be a better man myself. In order to do that, we have to unplug from our obligations and responsibilities periodically and systematically so that we can engage in the things that energize, rejuvenate, and uplift us.

The post How to Find a Hobby appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Today, I want to talk with you about finding a hobby. Now, I know that when I say that, there are going to be a lot of men who think, “I don’t have the time. I don’t have the energy. I’ve got obligations, priorities, and responsibilities. Today, I want to talk with you about finding a hobby. Now, I know that when I say that, there are going to be a lot of men who think, “I don’t have the time. I don’t have the energy. I’ve got obligations, priorities, and responsibilities. I would love to be able to carve out … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 19:21
The Path of Most Resistance https://www.orderofman.com/the-path-of-most-resistance/ Fri, 06 Jul 2018 11:30:58 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4312 https://www.orderofman.com/the-path-of-most-resistance/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-path-of-most-resistance/feed/ 0 <p>The path of most resistance. It’s a term you’re not likely to hear. The term we typically use is the path of least resistance. And, I understand why. It’s natural that we, as human beings, look for efficiencies, shortcuts, and the easiest path. There’s merit to the path of least resistance. We shouldn’t make things hard …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-path-of-most-resistance/">The Path of Most Resistance</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

The path of most resistance. It’s a term you’re not likely to hear. The term we typically use is the path of least resistance. And, I understand why. It’s natural that we, as human beings, look for efficiencies, shortcuts, and the easiest path. There’s merit to the path of least resistance. We shouldn’t make things hard just for them being hard. Or, should we? Contrary to popular belief there are plenty of times when it would be in our best interest to pursue the path of most resistance.

See, the path of least resistance is a great avenue to pursue during the actual test – when it actually counts. But, if we can train ourselves to take the harder path when it doesn’t, we’ll be much more adequately prepared to handle ourselves when it does. When I’m talking about taking the path of most resistance, what I’m talking about is enabling yourself to better face the trials, obstacles, and hurdles in life.

For example, it’s that uncomfortable conversation that you need to have with your spouse or employer. What most people will do when they know they need to have an uncomfortable is tuck tail and run. They put it off because they’ve never built up the fortitude, toughness, grit, and resiliency required to have those uncomfortable conversations. In my experience, when I have those types of uncomfortable conversations, things get better. Things work things out. But again, most people run away.

Also, consider the way most people start their day. They wake up at their pre-determined time, the alarm clock goes off, and what’s the first thing they do? They take the path of least resistance. They don’t get out of bed; they hit the snooze button. When they think about going to the gym, they make the excuse, “Oh no, I’m not going to do that today. I can do that tomorrow. I’ll start tomorrow.” From there, they go into the kitchen and what do they eat? The cereal, junk food, and everything else they know they shouldn’t consume.

Taking the path of most resistance is about participating in events, experiences, and opportunities that could potentially put yourself in a better situation. Most people won’t because they’re afraid. Thye let the fear of what may happen keep them from doing the very thing that will help them thrive, excel, and succeed in life.

I get it. Fear is real. We have these acronyms like “False Evidence Appearing Real.” I don’t necessarily agree with that. Fear is real. When I’m afraid, there are some legitimate reasons for that fear. There are potential negative consequences of the circumstances we’re afraid of. But this is why it’s so important that we choose the path of most resistance when the consequences and the stakes aren’t all that high so that, when there’s a real conversation that needs to be had, when there’s a real choice that needs to be made, when you’re faced with a natural disaster or, heaven forbid, an active shooter situation or some other emergency, that you’ve adequately prepared yourself by choosing the path of most resistance up until that point.

Let me share with you why I think this is so important to take the path of most resistance:

BUILD UP YOUR RESILIENCE

When you choose the harder path, when you choose to do the harder thing, when you voluntarily place yourself in hardship, you naturally and inevitably build up resilience. I’m talking about physical, mental, and emotional resilience and fortitude so that when it counts, when the stakes are high, you can adequately handle those things because you’ve inoculated yourself against a scary conversation, a natural disaster, some sort of threat, or test that all of us will be tasked with facing.

You have to build up the resilience. You have to build up the grit and the fortitude. And the only way to do that is to put yourself under stress. Volunteer for experiences and events that are going to push you. Volunteer to speak in public. When you know there has to be a conversation that needs to be made, go have that conversation. Try a 24-hour fast because it’s hard. Go to the gym the very first thing in the morning. Push a little harder than you normally would. When everybody else around you is done, keep going. Go into the office early. Leave a little bit later. Do whatever you can to push yourself further than you have before. That is the only way to build resilience.

See, most people think that they’ll just step up to the situation when it calls for it. That’s not true. The Greek poet, Archilochus, said, ” We don’t rise to the level of our expectations; we fall to the level of our training.” What does your training say about what kind of man you are? If it’s weak, soft, pathetic or non-existent, you will never be able to step up to the task at hand when called upon.

FOSTER YOUR CREATIVITY

When you choose the harder path, you are naturally going to improve your creative skills and talents. It’s so important in a world that isn’t linear, that’s all over the place, where the unexpected happens and all kinds of trials and obstacles get in our way, that each and every one of us learn to be more creative.

Another quote I came across is “I will find a way or make one.” Sometimes the right course of action isn’t going to present itself easily. Sometimes there isn’t a clear path. For you to become creative and to look for different opportunities and different angles is going to be the way that you’re going to overcome the situation that you may find yourself in.

But if you’ve never placed yourself in any level of stress, you’ve never been uncomfortable, or it’s never been awkward for you because you’ve run and you’ve avoided all of those situations that could have potentially built that creative muscle, you’re going to get stuck. You’re not going to be able to produce, bring in the income, get the client, have the conversation, get the raise, or whatever it is that you’re trying to do. Creativity is so, so important in a world that is going to throw curve balls at you. Unless you give yourself the opportunity mentally, intellectually, and physically to overcome some of these strange scenarios and unpredictable situations that we find ourselves in, you will never be able to thrive when things get difficult.

This is why when I see guys who fail at the slightest sign of adversity or struggle. It’s because they haven’t built up the strength. It’s because they aren’t being creative. So, what do they do? Rather than see a wall and go around it, they turn around and they go home. If you and I have any hope of becoming the men that we’re capable of becoming, we’ve got to be able to be creative and look for solutions that aren’t readily available. When you look creatively at an opportunity and you prove to yourself, your wife, your partner, an employer, an employee that you can be creative, you prove yourself worthy of following because you’re somebody who will get the job done. You will find a way or make one.

CULTIVATE YOUR CONFIDENCE

Another reason it’s so important that you choose the harder path is that it gives you this sense of calmness. You might even say confidence. I’ll give you a very small example and one that I’m learning all too well. A couple of months ago, I started Brazilian jiu-jitsu. As I was wrestling and grappling with other guys on the mat, I noticed that when I would get myself into trouble I would get excited, my heart would start pumping, and I’d start consuming too much energy because I was trying to bulldoze or strong arm my way through a particular move or a hold. And as I grappled with those who were more advanced (blue belts, brown belts, and even black belts), I noticed a level of calmness, clarity, and focus in the way that they were approaching the match.

I’ve literally had guys that I was wrestling with who would have their hands behind their back while I was doing everything I could to submit them or just force them to go where I wanted them to go. These men were thinking things through clearly. They were comfortable. How did they get to that point? They got to that point because they put themselves in the position I was in enough. They made themselves uncomfortable. They put themselves in awkward circumstances.

Guys, we’ve got to get better with being uncomfortable. The more that you can put yourself in uncomfortable situations, the more calmness, the more clarity, the more focus, the more determination, and even the more confidence you will build. How do you build more confidence? You put yourself in situations that force you to be uncomfortable because when you come out the other side unscathed, you recognize that you had something within yourself that you didn’t recognize before.

I know we’re just scratching the surface on what could talk about here, but let me be very clear with you. We’ve got to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations. When we’re faced an unlimited amount of options, we ought to consider taking the path of most resistance. And, I’m not telling you that, by default, you should always take the harder path but you ought to consider it. You ought to recognize that it’s there. You ought to contemplate whether or not you should take that path.

I’ll give you one other example: I have started running over the past several weeks. It would be very easy for me to wake up early in the morning when it’s nice and cool and go out for a little jog. Or, run in the evening when it’s cooled down and I can take it easy. But what I chose to do instead is to run in the middle of the day. And, in the middle of the day where I live in southern Utah, it’s roughly 105 degrees right now.

Now some people will say, “Oh, you shouldn’t do that. That’s dangerous. That’s too hard on your body.” Uh, no, it’s not. I’m not in any risk as long as I’m willing to take care of myself and listen to my body. But I choose to make it harder than it has to be. I choose to run in the middle of the day. I choose to do it when it’s 105 degrees. I choose to go up the mountain rather than the paved, level road. I choose to do that because it’s harder. It’s more challenging. It will build up my resiliency, grit, and creativity as I’m trying to step over different rocks and take different paths. I know that it will help me be calmer if I were ever in some sort of physical situation that had dire consequences that could potentially arise.

Guys, it’s always easier to take the path of least resistance. There are times when we certainly should. But I think we would all be better off if the majority of the time, we considered the harder, more challenging, tougher path.

By building up your resilience, creativity, and confidence by choosing the harder path, when there is a challenging situation, a threat, an uncomfortable conversation, or some sort of obstacle you’re tasked with overcoming, you will have developed and harnessed the tools that will allow you to overcome that. Your ability to overcome trials is, after all, something that your family, your friends, your co-workers, and community members are looking for in you as a leader, and as a man.

The post The Path of Most Resistance appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
The path of most resistance. It’s a term you’re not likely to hear. The term we typically use is the path of least resistance. And, I understand why. It’s natural that we, as human beings, look for efficiencies, shortcuts, and the easiest path. The path of most resistance. It’s a term you’re not likely to hear. The term we typically use is the path of least resistance. And, I understand why. It’s natural that we, as human beings, look for efficiencies, shortcuts, and the easiest path. There’s merit to the path of least resistance. We shouldn’t make things hard … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 17:21
172: Work, and Don’t Whine | Brandon Lilly https://www.orderofman.com/172-work-dont-whine-brandon-lilly/ Tue, 03 Jul 2018 11:30:38 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4293 https://www.orderofman.com/172-work-dont-whine-brandon-lilly/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/172-work-dont-whine-brandon-lilly/feed/ 0 <p>Every man, at some point, will lose his way. It’s not really a question of “if” but a question of “when.” When that day comes, the way you decided to face that adversity will spell the difference in you overcoming or succumbing. My guest today, powerlifter Brandon Lilly, is a man who has faced his …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/172-work-dont-whine-brandon-lilly/">172: Work, and Don’t Whine | Brandon Lilly</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Every man, at some point, will lose his way. It’s not really a question of “if” but a question of “when.” When that day comes, the way you decided to face that adversity will spell the difference in you overcoming or succumbing.

My guest today, powerlifter Brandon Lilly, is a man who has faced his fair share of obstacles but refuses to quit and always charges forward. We talk about the power of saying “no,” why nothing ends with a period, how to develop more confidence, overcoming the need to be seen, and why every man ought to consider adopting the mantra, “Work, Don’t Whine.”

“I’ve always worked. I’ve always enjoyed it. And, I’ve never shied away from it.” Tweet That— Brandon Lilly

Brandon Lilly

Brandon LillyMy guest today is my friend, Brandon Lilly. A lot of you know who this man is but if you don’t, I’m not sure how you’ve missed him.

He’s one of the biggest men I know and certainly one of the strongest. He is ranked as one of the strongest powerlifters and consistently lifts more than 2,000lbs combined in the deadlift, squat and bench press.

He’s worked with and consulted SEAL Teams, University of Kentucky Football, the Bengals, and numerous other organizations and Crossfit gyms around the country.

But on top of all that, he’s a man who is extremely humble in failure and victory (you’ll hear some of those stories today). Today he’s going to be talking about overcoming some of his trials and why he’s adopted “Work, Don’t Whine” as his mantra.

“When I am bored, I am self-destructive.” Tweet That— Brandon Lilly

Show Highlights

  • Why working without whining is so powerful
  • How to say “no”
  • Why problems scale and how to avoid that
  • Why nothing ends with a “period”
  • Finding the middle ground and why it’s so important
  • Why the way we do things matters
  • How to develop and build more confidence
  • Overcoming the need to be seen
  • How ego and arrogance are hurting you
  • The power of integrity and telling the truth

“Everybody I’ve ever looked up to and respected has shit going on in their lives. They’ve just found an operating system for their life that allows them to maintain a high level of positivity in spite of that negativity.” Tweet That— Brandon Lilly

Legacy

Gents, by now you know all about Order of Man Legacy. This is our inaugural Father/Son event and it’s one you will not want to miss.

There is a real lack of connection (and, it’s only getting worse) between the current generation and next. One of my favorite quotes on the subject of masculinity and manliness is “If boys don’t learn, men won’t know.” That’s why it’s critical that we, as men, pass down our knowledge to the boys who need to know and learn what it means to be a man.

On September 20-23, 2018, we’re having 20 fathers and sons come to southern Utah to test themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally in an experience designed to forge new bonds between you and your sons, teach both of you the skills you need to learn to help your boy become a man, and give you the framework for success of the rest of his life.

Act quickly. We only have 7 spots left. You can learn more and claim your seat at www.orderofman.com/legacy.

“I had to figure out a way to shift all my value back into myself because I realized my richness revolved around my family, my friends, and travel for pleasure rather than just work.” Tweet That— Brandon Lilly

Connect with Brandon Lilly

“I feel I have a responsibility to my father, to my grandfather, and to myself to be a man of honor, integrity, and value so my son can learn and do better than I did.” Tweet That— Brandon Lilly

The post 172: Work, and Don’t Whine | Brandon Lilly appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Every man, at some point, will lose his way. It’s not really a question of “if” but a question of “when.” When that day comes, the way you decided to face that adversity will spell the difference in you overcoming or succumbing. My guest today, Every man, at some point, will lose his way. It’s not really a question of “if” but a question of “when.” When that day comes, the way you decided to face that adversity will spell the difference in you overcoming or succumbing. My guest today, powerlifter Brandon Lilly, is a man who has faced his … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:08:18
Fixing Your Marriage by Fixing Yourself https://www.orderofman.com/fixing-your-marriage-by-fixing-yourself/ Fri, 29 Jun 2018 11:30:47 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4284 https://www.orderofman.com/fixing-your-marriage-by-fixing-yourself/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/fixing-your-marriage-by-fixing-yourself/feed/ 0 <p>There are a lot of men who want to fix their marriages. While it sounds counterintuitive, the best way to fix your marriage is to fix yourself. Because, when you improve who you are as a man and how you’re showing up as a husband, you’re naturally going to produce a better marriage. Sure, a strong …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/fixing-your-marriage-by-fixing-yourself/">Fixing Your Marriage by Fixing Yourself</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There are a lot of men who want to fix their marriages. While it sounds counterintuitive, the best way to fix your marriage is to fix yourself. Because, when you improve who you are as a man and how you’re showing up as a husband, you’re naturally going to produce a better marriage. Sure, a strong marriage is the result of the things that both you and your wife are doing but there’s nothing you can do about her. That’s why it’s best to focus on the one thing you can control – yourself.

This message today is catered to any man who might be going through a rocky situation in their marriage, a separation, or even a divorce. If you’re not in that situation or you’re single, I’d encourage you to read this as well as the discussion we have is going to help you in your marriage when that time comes.

Look, marriage is tough. Anybody who’s been married for any amount of time understands how challenging marriage can be. When two people together who have different cultures, ideas, backgrounds, and beliefs, it’s challenging, to say the least.

The more that you go to work on yourself, the stronger that your marriage is going to be. There’s a trap (and, it’s the very same trap that I fell into when I got married) that the very first thing to go when getting married is removing all the things that helped me become a better man. And, I did that because I wanted to spend time with my wife. I wanted to be around her. I wanted to be connected to her. I let go of all of my friends, my hobbies, and the things that lifted me up and, instead, focused all of my time, energy, attention, and resources on her. That isn’t necessarily bad in and of itself but it came at the expense of my own wellbeing. Any man who’s listening to this, who’s gone through challenges in his marriage, understands exactly what I’m talking about.

So, if you’re single or you’re just getting married, please heed my word of caution. Do not let yourself go. Continue to take care of yourself. Continue to find ways to edify, uplift, energize, and recharge yourself, because, when you do, you can come back into a marriage more successful and engaged.

Today I want to talk to you about my own separation from my wife which was nearly 10 years ago. I want to share that insight with you because I think there are some important things that need to be discussed and some similar situations that you might be experiencing in your own life or will at some point. From there, I’ll share seven different strategies here that are going to help you go to work on yourself so that you can come back to the relationship more engaged, energized, and recharged.

MY SEPARATION

Roughly 10 years ago, my wife and I got into an argument one evening. We had been married for four years at the time. I cannot, for the life of me, remember what that argument was about. It doesn’t matter. I’m sure that it was insignificant, that whatever it was we were arguing about was petty and just not worth arguing about. But all of the years of frustration, bitterness, animosity, and contention had led up to this argument. I remember saying to her, “I don’t even want to be married anymore.” And, when I said that, she said the same thing back.

Now, the next morning, I left. I went to northern Utah for some training in my business. I got about an hour on the road and I thought to myself, “Man, what are you doing? Your marriage is falling apart. Your wife’s going to leave you with your six-month-old son. And, the business isn’t particularly doing all that well, either. So, why are you going up for this training when everything else is falling apart around you?”

So, I turned around and came back home. She was still there. I told her that I didn’t want her to leave and that I wanted her to stick around and see what we could do to work it out. I loved this woman. But by then it was too little, too late. She decided that she wasn’t interested in that and left. She went and moved in with her parents.

For the longest time, there was anger, frustration, and resentment. How could she do this to me? Why was she being disloyal? Why didn’t she love? Why didn’t she appreciate me and all the things I was doing for the family? How could she take my son away? I blamed everything on her.

Now, when I talk about this, a lot of guys will say. “Well yeah, she had something to do with it.” That’s absolutely right. And, she would be the first to tell you that she had something to do with the demise of our relationship as well. But that really doesn’t matter because I realized I needed to work on myself.

Around this time, I came to the conclusion that my marriage might be over. Up until that point, I thought that we could work it out. Everybody said. “Give up Ryan. It’s over. Move on. It’s over.” But in my heart and soul, I knew I didn’t want to do that without giving it every effort to work.

This was the very first time that I actually thought. “Maybe these people are right. Maybe this marriage is over.” As difficult as that was for me to wrestle with and as challenging as that was for me to think about, it was the single greatest moment, in my life for positive change. That moment has literally, over the past decade, transformed the landscape of our marriage, transformed the landscape of my fitness and my business, and transformed every single area of my life. The revelation that I had at that moment was that, although the marriage might be over, I’m going to accept responsibility for the one thing that I have control over. And it wasn’t the marriage and, it wasn’t her. It was me.

Up until that point, I thought, “If only I can get her to change. If only I can get her to do X, Y, and Z. If only she would see the errors of her ways. Then our marriage would work out. Then everything would be fine.”

The problem was, I was trying to manipulate, coerce, strong-arm, and do everything that I possibly could to “win her back.” At this specific moment in my life, as I was sitting in my truck thinking that the marriage was over, I decided, for the first time, potentially, in my life that I would just go to work on myself – that if the marriage was over, I was going to be the greatest catch for the next woman to come into my life. And that’s exactly what I did. I went to work on myself.

I’m going to share some specific strategies here with you in a minute. But as I went to work on myself, she responded to that. It was as if I flipped a light switch on the wall with her. She saw that I was serious. She saw that I was doing different things. She saw that I was doing the work to become a better man, a better father, and a better husband. We call this ‘influence’. We cannot control and manipulate what other people do and think but we can influence them. We influence others by becoming more influential.

Now, about this time here’s where everybody says. “Oh Ryan, you’re a beta. Or you just succumbed to her wishes.” Guys, that’s not what this is about. As I went to work on myself, I built confidence in myself. I began to take care of myself. I began to respect and appreciate and even love who I was becoming. That’s what she resonated with. As I continued to go on this journey of self-discovery and self-improvement, we started to date again. There was a new energy, enthusiasm, and excitement in our relationship that had not been there for years. For the first time in four years, I was more capable of bringing something to the relationship.

What a lot of men will do is drain all of their wife’s energy from them. They’ll ask their wife to provide both the feminine and masculine energy. They’ll ask them to be the supporter: emotionally, mentally, and physically. When a wife uses up all of her energy and your energy is now depleted, there’s nothing new coming into the relationship. The way you know that this is the problem, is your wife says. “There’s no spark. There’s no fire. There’s no love. I’m not in love with you anymore.” That makes sense. You drained her energy from her because you weren’t creating and providing your own energy. That’s the trap that I fell into. That’s the trap I was talking about earlier. The trap where you’re no longer energizing, uplifting, and edifying yourself. So, you ask her to do it. Any human being can only do that so long before they are completely burnt out.

So, as I said before, we started to date again. I was in Salt Lake City for some training in my business and I got a call from my wife. She said, “Ryan, I want to come back home.” That was roughly 10 years ago. Now our marriage isn’t perfect. We have our ups and downs, we have our challenges, and we argue from time to time. She’s stubborn, I’m stubborn. We’re both set in our ways. We both have certain ways of doing things. There are challenges. But we’re better equipped because she knows how to take care of herself and I know how to take care of myself. I’m strong without her. She is strong without me. And because we’re both strong independently, we’re stronger together.

If she had to rely on me or I had to rely on her for everything within the marriage that would pose a huge problem, as it did. In the next couple of days, as of the release of this article, we will celebrate our 14 year wedding anniversary. We’ve got four kids and life is good. Of course, it has its ups and downs and challenges but it’s never been better because, I’ve learned what I’m going to share with you here shortly. I learned to take care of myself. I learned to build trust, credibility, and confidence in who I am. She sees that. She recognizes that and we’re strong because of that.

Now, I do have to say this, and this is the uncomfortable truth: You could do everything I talk about today. You could completely go to work on yourself. You could change who you are completely and become a new man entirely, and the marriage still may not work out.

I hope that doesn’t happen. I hope that your relationship continues. I hope that it stays intact for decades and decades. But the reality is, it doesn’t always work out. But I will say this: it’s never a bad idea to work on yourself. The more that you work on yourself, the more that the situation and circumstances around you have a way of taking care of themselves, whether it’s with your wife or potentially, a new partner down the road. Take care of yourself. Focus on yourself. Implement the seven strategies that I’m going to talk with you about today and things do have a way of working themselves out.

TIME AND ATTENTION

If you’re going through a divorce or a separation, the first thing you have to understand is that you’ve got to give yourself time and attention. Give yourself the time and the space to heal, mend, and go to work on yourself. Focus your attention elsewhere, not on her.

A lot of men look at a separation as a negative time. And it certainly is. Let’s not beat around the bush. It’s dark. If you’ve been there, you know exactly what I’m talking about. But you have an opportunity. It’s an opportunity for you to go to work on yourself. Take this time to work on yourself, to improve yourself, to enhance yourself. Look at it as an opportunity to redefine who you are and how you’re showing up.

EXPOSE YOURSELF TO NEW INFORMATION

You are a product of the thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and actions you take. The reason that your marriage isn’t working out the way that you want it to is because there are certain inputs that you have in your brain that are causing you to produce certain outputs. In this case, an unhealthy relationship. The only way to improve your situation is to change the information that you’re putting into the six inches between your ears.

When I went through my separation, I began to read books and listen to CDs  on self-help, how to communicate, how to grow a business, etc. I was reading all kinds of books.

Put new information into your brain. That is the only way to create new results. New information in, new results out. If you continue to do it the same way over and over again, you are going to produce the same results you always have. Or you think that maybe I’ll just do more of the same thing or the same thing even harder than I did before, you’re going to produce the negative results that much quicker. It’s not going to improve the results, it’s going to exponentially increase the damaging effects of whatever has been produced in your life up to this point.

BUILD A BAND OF BROTHERS

Having a band of brothers is critical for married men. I see a lot of guys who, when they get married and into a relationship, leave their buddies. They spend time exclusively with their girlfriend, fiancee or wife. You have got to build a band of brothers. You’ve got to do it now. You’ve got to find men to spend time with on a consistent and regular basis. If you’re not doing that, you are not energizing yourself. A strong band of brothers is going to give you much-needed accountability, comradery, brotherhood, laughs, activities, enjoyment, and energy you need to then go into another relationship and be successful.

As I went through my separation with my wife, I had realized that I had forsaken all of my friends. I was alone. Nobody was around, not because they weren’t willing to do it but because I had forsaken them long ago. I found myself alone every night without anything to do. So, what did I do? I thought about her and I thought about my son. It became a destructive loop I fell prey to.

You have to build a band of brothers. If you’re not going through a separation or divorce or there are no rocky challenges in your marriage right now, you still need to build a band of brothers because there might be some challenges at some point. But even outside of that, it’s always good to have good friends who you can rely on for support. They will support you. You will uplift them. They will uplift you. Give yourself some regular space every single week to spend time with the band of brothers.

GET YOUR FITNESS IN CHECK

When I went through my separation with my wife, I was 50 pounds heavier then I weigh today. You have to get yourself in shape. Yes, there are obvious physical benefits that come from being in shape but, also, everything that’s required to get into shape – discipline, dedication, commitment, consistency, sacrifice – are the same set of skills that are required for success in any other facet of life. There are mental benefits of being in shape too: clarity, focus, drive, and determination. All of those things will help you be a better man.

I have a lot of people who ask about how to build confidence. The way that you build confidence is by doing the things that are going to build confidence. Part of that is getting into the gym. And, the more confidence you have, the more people (including your wife) will naturally be attracted to you.

FIND A HOBBY

You have to find something that you enjoy participating in. I, for example, do woodworking. I’ve got a shop out in the backyard so I’ll go out there for an hour or two and just do some woodworking. Another hobby I enjoy is bow hunting. I just picked up bow hunting last year and I’ve been on a couple of successful hunts. Archery has been a hobby that I really enjoy and it gives me focus and clarity needed to reenergize myself. Also, I just started running. That’s been advantageous and helpful for me. I also do a little bit of hatchet throwing. I go outside with just my hatchet and the board and work on form.

Have these types of hobbies has really been a good outlet for me as things get challenging in my marriage and the stress of work. I also have friends who do all of these things as well. So, I can go spend time with my band of brothers while I’m engaging in my hobbies. If you don’t have a hobby and engaging hobby yet, try everything. Explore broadly. If you have considered playing the guitar, play the guitar. If you want to start painting, learn to paint. If you want to create a podcast, do that. If you want to throw hatchets or start bow hunting, do it.  The barrier to entry for any of these hobbies is so low that you can take part in any hobby in a matter of just a few hours if you decide that you want to do it.

GET YOUR FINANCIAL HOUSE IN ORDER

I’m a financial advisor by trade. I’ve been in the business for just over 10 years. And, I can tell you that money is a leading cause of anxiety, stress, arguments, and divorce inside of a marriage. A lot of it comes down to communication. But, look, if you can get your financial house in order, you are going to be that much better off because you’re not stressed about.

I’ve been there. I’ve been in situations where I did not know how I was going to make the mortgage payment. Those situations did absolutely nothing to help my relationship. All they did was compound the problem because I was stressed. And, I was taking that stress out on her. We didn’t know how we were going to make the mortgage. We had a small son at the time. It was a real challenge. So, get your debt paid off. Learn a new skill in order to secure a promotion at work. Get a new job. You’ve got time to start a business on the side. Make a little extra money. Get that debt paid down. Invest. Learn. Read a book about investing, budgeting, and how to pay off debt. This is going to serve you well and reduce the level of stress you have on your life and your marriage as well.

CHALLENGE YOURSELF

If you’ve been married for 5, 10, 15, 20, or 30 years, you’re probably at a point where you just haven’t challenged yourself. You’ve made the excuse that you don’t have the time or the energy, or you’ve got this obligation and that obligation. I’m telling, the more you can challenge yourself and the more you can push yourself outside of your comfort zone, the more confidence that you’re going to be in yourself. You’re going to have more success because you’re developing the skillset, virtues, and confidence in order to succeed in other areas of life. If you’re not challenging yourself physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, then you are doing yourself a huge disservice.

If you want to fix yourself and in turn, fix your marriage. You’ve gotta find a way to continue to push. It’s so easy to fall into default mode, to be complacent and mediocre in life. That mediocrity will produce the exact same results that you’re enjoying, or not enjoying, right now. Push yourself. Challenge yourself. Do something that scares you. Get outside of your comfort zone and see if that doesn’t help you build confidence in yourself.

I know this is not an exhaustive list. I know I could go on and on about all of the things you should do. But if you take these 7 suggestions to heart, you will fix yourself.

And, again, I’m not here to tell you that if you fix yourself that your marriage will magically be fixed. The unfortunate reality is that maybe it’s too late. Or, maybe your marriage is beyond repair. But I will tell you that the likelihood of you salvaging your damaged marriage is significantly higher if you stop focusing on her so much by trying to manipulate her, coerce her, get her to change, and win her over. Instead, turn all of that attention, time, and energy around and focus it on yourself. Engage yourself. Engage your body. Engage your mind. The more you do this, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to salvage your marriage.

And if you don’t, like I said, 10 years ago, “You will be the absolute best catch for the next woman to come into your life.” And, there will be a next woman, if you learn to take care of yourself.

The post Fixing Your Marriage by Fixing Yourself appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There are a lot of men who want to fix their marriages. While it sounds counterintuitive, the best way to fix your marriage is to fix yourself. Because, when you improve who you are as a man and how you’re showing up as a husband, There are a lot of men who want to fix their marriages. While it sounds counterintuitive, the best way to fix your marriage is to fix yourself. Because, when you improve who you are as a man and how you’re showing up as a husband, you’re naturally going to produce a better marriage. Sure, a strong … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 29:56
171: Leading From the Top | Lt. Colonel Scott Mann https://www.orderofman.com/171-leading-from-the-top-lt-colonel-scott-mann/ Tue, 26 Jun 2018 11:30:44 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4268 https://www.orderofman.com/171-leading-from-the-top-lt-colonel-scott-mann/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/171-leading-from-the-top-lt-colonel-scott-mann/feed/ 0 <p>Every man will, at some point, be placed in a position of leadership, whether it’s in the walls of his home, a new project at work, a promotion, ecclesiastical services, with friends, or simply leading himself. His ability to lead effectively will spell the difference between success and failure in any endeavor. Today, I am …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/171-leading-from-the-top-lt-colonel-scott-mann/">171: Leading From the Top | Lt. Colonel Scott Mann</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Every man will, at some point, be placed in a position of leadership, whether it’s in the walls of his home, a new project at work, a promotion, ecclesiastical services, with friends, or simply leading himself. His ability to lead effectively will spell the difference between success and failure in any endeavor.

Today, I am joined by retired Green Beret Lieutenant Colonel, Scott Mann to talk about how to be a strong leader. We talk about the importance of becoming a great storyteller, how to play your position well and allow others to do the same, why leaders need to learn to get out of the way, and how you can lead from the top.

“Trust has eroded so much in society today that almost 2/3 of Americans don’t trust their neighbors anymore.” Tweet That— Scott Mann

Scott Mann

Scott MannToday, I have the honor of introducing you to retired Green Beret Lieutenant Colonel, Scott Mann.

He is a master at building relationships in high-stakes, competitive environments, as you might imagine. He spent 23 years in the United States Army (18 of which in were spent as a Green Beret) where he specialized in missions all over the world including Colombia, Iraq, and Afghanistan.

He is also a regular contributor on CNN, Fox, and Bloomberg, and many others where he shares his insights and experience when it comes to leading teams effectively.

Obviously, he’s worked in some extremely hostile environments where he’s been able to lead missions effectively through his ability to build trust and credibility where most of that had been destroyed.

“We have to learn to communicate in an environment where there’s no room for failure.” Tweet That— Scott Mann

Show Highlights

  • Why leaders need to become great storytellers
  • The importance of becoming your own hero
  • How great leaders learn to play their position
  • Why leaders need to learn to get out of the way
  • How leaders communicate across cultures
  • How we locate ourselves through others’ stories
  • The power of writing your own story
  • Why you need to meet people where they are
  • How to solicit feedback from your team
  • How to create win-win situations
  • How to negotiate more effectively
  • Why all great leaders have a service mindset

“We can leverage our trauma to serve others through story.” Tweet That— Scott Mann

Game Changers

Legacy

You’ve heard me talk about it before and you’re probably not going to have to hear me talk about it much more but we have our inaugural Order of Man Legacy event coming this fall.

Guys, if you have a son between the ages of 8-15, you are not going to want to miss this experience. Creating a rite of passage for my sons has been instrumental in helping usher them into manhood and I recognize a need for that type of experience outside of my home.

That’s why, on September 20-23, 2018, I’m invited you to join me in the mountains of Southern Utah for a physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding week for you and your son(s). You’re going to learn some new skills, gain access to the resources and framework that will help you and your son become better men. And, you’ll have the opportunity to compete with 19 other fathers and sons in some incredible exercises and activities.

If you’re interested, get signed up quickly as space is running out (we only have 7 more spots left). You can learn more at www.orderofman.com/legacy.

“If you want to be the most relevant person in the room, you need to own your life, own your story, then you can own the room.” Tweet That— Scott Mann

Connect with Scott Mann

“Our struggles are where we’re most relatable.” Tweet That— Scott Mann

The post 171: Leading From the Top | Lt. Colonel Scott Mann appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Every man will, at some point, be placed in a position of leadership, whether it’s in the walls of his home, a new project at work, a promotion, ecclesiastical services, with friends, or simply leading himself. Every man will, at some point, be placed in a position of leadership, whether it’s in the walls of his home, a new project at work, a promotion, ecclesiastical services, with friends, or simply leading himself. His ability to lead effectively will spell the difference between success and failure in any endeavor. Today, I am … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 46:40
No Victims Here https://www.orderofman.com/no-victims-here/ Fri, 22 Jun 2018 11:30:44 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4271 https://www.orderofman.com/no-victims-here/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/no-victims-here/feed/ 0 <p>So many men who love to play the “victim card.” They believe that everybody and everything is stacked against and out to get to them. In reality, we know that’s not true. That’s not to say that some negative situations won’t happen. Of course, they will. People will screw you and, frankly, there are evil …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/no-victims-here/">No Victims Here</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

So many men who love to play the “victim card.” They believe that everybody and everything is stacked against and out to get to them. In reality, we know that’s not true. That’s not to say that some negative situations won’t happen. Of course, they will. People will screw you and, frankly, there are evil but the overwhelming majority of the time, it’s not that anyone is out to get us but that we become our own worst enemy. We have become a victim of ourselves. We are not a victim of other people. We are not a victim of our circumstances. That may have been true when we were children and had no control or say over our lives. Now that we’re adults who make our own decisions, there’s no excuse to play the  “victim card.”

I, for example, used to tell myself that the reason my marriage was failing was that my wife wasn’t doing X, Y, and/or Z or that the reason that my business wasn’t thriving is that nobody trained me correctly. Unfortunately, I got into the financial planning field at the end of 2008. If you were around then you know exactly what was going on. The market was tanking, the economy was diving, and I used that as an excuse for why my planning practice wasn’t doing well. Was it a reason? Sure. But definitely not an excuse.

Gentleman, we’ve got to find a way to drop the victim mindset. But please don’t misunderstand me: there’s a huge difference between reaching out for help/assistance/guidance/direction and playing the victim.

Today I’m going to talk about why I think men do this. We’re going to talk about the pitfalls of playing the victim card. Because, if you don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, you’re going to keep playing that card. Next, I’ll share with you five strategies you can use to avoid being a victim for the rest of your life.

Before I get into all of that, I do need to describe what it is I’m talking about here. When I’m talking about being a victim, I’m talking about somebody who is absolutely helpless regarding the outcome of a particular event. Now, I realize we’ve all been there. We’ve been in situations that we can’t control, but I’d be willing to bet that the overwhelming majority of the circumstances in which we find ourselves are the circumstances in which we placed ourselves. Meaning, that those circumstances are the products of the actions, behaviors, and beliefs we’ve adhered to.

As I talk about the “victim card,” I’m talking the mindset a lot of men seem to take on which is that there’s nothing they could do about a particular situation, nothing is their fault, nothing is their responsibility, and they’re blaming it on everybody else. That is the victim mentality. That is the victim mindset.

With that said, let me share with you why I think this is. It’s important that we understand why a lot of us feel the way we do because if we don’t understand why we believe the way we do, it’s going be very difficult for us to grow.

IT’S EASY

It’s easy to say that it’s somebody else’s fault. We don’t have to exert any level of energy, effort, responsibility, accountability when it isn’t our fault. We don’t have to apologize or rectify any situation. After all, if it wasn’t our fault then there’s nothing we can do about it. So, what do men typically do? They throw their hands up in the air, and say, “It wasn’t my fault. It was this person, this economy, this situation, but it had nothing to do with me.” People play the “victim card” because they’re lazy. They don’t want to exert themselves. They don’t want to accept responsibility. It’s significantly easier to say it’s somebody else’s fault.

IT MAINTAINS DIGNITY

When you play the “victim card,” it does not damage your pride. All of us have pride. All of us have arrogance. All of us have egos. They’re so fragile that we’ll do whatever we can to defend and protect them. After all, when we say it’s our fault, that’s a blow to our ego. When we say it’s somebody else’s fault, that does nothing to damage us. We say, “Somebody else did it to me. There wasn’t anything else I could have done.” That salvages your ego. It’s misguided. It’s misdirected. It’s misplaced. But it certainly maintains that level of arrogance, pride, and ego. We’ve got to learn to let that go.

IT GETS ATTENTION

You get attention (whether it’s deserved or not) when you say, “I was the victim. I was at the mercy of this event or that individual. This person was out to get me and that situation happened.” A lot of so-called victims love the attention they receive when they play the victim. It’s unfortunate because it’s very similar to the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Very quickly people begin to recognize who the victims are, and who the victims aren’t. Once they identify that, those people naturally gravitate away from the victim. So, what do the victims do? They magnify their stories. They get a little bit louder. They get a little bit more sensationalized in their claims of victimhood. They seek more attention.

IT’S BENEFICIAL

Too many people want benefits without having to pay the price. They want the relationship without having to invest the time, energy, and resources into that relationship. They want the promotion without earning the promotion. They want the raise without earning the raise. They want the six-pack abs without having to wake up an hour early every morning and go to the gym for the next three, four, or five years. They want something for nothing. And, because they know they can’t have something for nothing, they start playing the “blame game.” After all, if something bad happened to them, maybe, just maybe somebody will feel bad enough for them and give them what they want without them having to earn it.

This all sounds great until we realize that there are some serious pitfalls to playing the “victim card:”

YOU SUBJECT YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE AND OUTSIDE CIRCUMSTANCES

If, for example, you make it your wife’s fault that your relationship fell apart, you have now subjected yourself to her. She has to change. She has to do something. The ball is in her court in order for you to maintain the relationship. If you’re complaining about how big of a jerk your boss is, and that’s the reason you didn’t get the promotion, then only your boss has the power to do something about it. There’s nothing you can do until, and if, he decides to change. If it’s the economy that you’re blaming your lack of financial abundance on, you’ll have to sit back and wait for the economy to rebound and improve. When you blame other people you put yourself at the mercy of outside factors, other people, and things that you frankly cannot control.

YOU DON’T REACH YOUR FULL POTENTIAL

If you continue to blame other people and outside circumstances, you’ll live a life less than you’re capable of. You’ll live in mediocrity. You could have the six pack abs but you refused to get into the gym. You could have the amazing, incredible, deep, connected relationship with your wife, if you’d only let go of the fact that maybe you have a large play in the relationship itself.  You could have the business. You could have the promotions. You could have the wealth. Everything that you’ve ever wanted is at the end of accepting responsibility and accountability for your life. When you decide to play the victim, again, you’re subjecting yourself to other people, other circumstances, and you’re living a life less than you’re capable of.

With that said, let’s talk about some ways to overcome being the victim. It’s becoming painfully obvious that the trend is increasing. There are more victims. More men want something for nothing. More men want it easy. More men fight too hard to maintain their arrogance and pride. More men want attention. More men are living in mediocrity and subjecting themselves to everything and everyone around them.

1. TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR LIFE

You have got to vow right now to take ownership of your life. This is about accepting ownership and responsibility for every situation you find yourself in, even the ones outside of your control.

Please understand that accepting responsibility does not mean you’re accepting fault. There are a lot of people who believe if you accept the responsibility that somehow you’re accepting the blame. Look, bad stuff happens. That’s reality. And,  sometimes there’s not a thing that you can do about it. But if you accept responsibility for your own life and for the situation, you’re less likely to put yourself in those situations moving forward. Vow to take ownership. If you want a great book on the subject, read Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. It’s a step-by-step guide for taking ownership, accountability, and responsibility in your life.

2. BECOME SELF-RELIANT

You’ve got to do everything that you can to become completely self-reliant. You’ve got to get off the medications. You’ve got to get yourself out of debt. You’ve got to stop subjecting yourself to your boss, your wife, your employer, and your clients. You do this by developing the skills, talents, and abilities to take care of yourself. And, I’m not saying that you can’t accept help occasionally. That’s just as important as learning to deal with it on your own.

My life really didn’t start turning around until I accepted that help but there came a point in time where I said, “You know what? I’ve got this. I can do this. I don’t want to subject myself to pharmaceutical companies. I don’t want to subject myself to the bank and their financial terms.”

And, in order to keep myself sovereign and self-reliant, I developed the skills, tools, abilities, and the strategies for making sure that I could pave my own way, that I could take care of myself, that I was anticipating potential threats and situations that may come up.

One of the things that we do for example is food storage. I don’t want to be caught in a situation where we’re not able to get food, fuel, or power for any amount of time. I’ve anticipated that. I’ve prepared and planned up front so that if that happens, I’m self-reliant. Our family is reliant on ourselves, nothing and nobody else.

3. DROP THE EGO

Your ego is getting in the way of your success. Ryan Holiday wrote a great book on the subject called Ego is the Enemy. Your ego is destroying is your chances of success. Many people think it makes you stronger. They think that when they put up a barrier that they’re stronger for doing it. They’re not. They’re actually weaker – weaker because they can’t see the blind spots that present themselves.

Since they refuse to look for the blind spots, they play dumb. They plead ignorance when something bad happens. Gentleman, drop the ego. It’s okay to ask for assistance. It’s okay that you don’t know everything about everything. It’s okay that you look a little foolish from time to time. It’s okay to even ask questions that you may not necessarily know the answer to. They only reason we don’t do those things is because we’re worried about the perception from other people and the way that other people think of us. It’s not a healthy way to live and it’s certainly not producing the results most of us are after.

4. LEARN THE LESSON

Ask yourself what lesson can be learned. In situations that you don’t have any control over, what lesson can be learned so that next time you avoid the situation you found yourself in? The more you look at life as a learning experience, the more lessons you learn, the smarter you get, the more capable you become of addressing those problems that will inevitably come up. And, if you don’t learn the lesson, you are bound to repeat it over, and over, and over again.

This is why you see some people continue to do dumb things. They never really open themselves up to learning the lesson whether it was a skill or a mindset in order for that situation to be avoided next time.

Ask yourself in negative situations what lesson can be learned? If you lost money, what lesson can be learned? If someone screwed you over, what lesson can be learned? If you go through a separation with your wife, what lesson can be learned? If somebody gets a promotion over you, what lesson can be learned? If one of your clients fires you, what lesson can be learned? It’s not the end of the world. It may seem like it, but it’s not. And if you don’t learn the lesson it’s going to keep happening over and over again.

5. DO AN AFTER-ACTION REVIEW

For those of you who spent time in the military or as a first responder, you’re probably familiar with what I’m talking about here. The After-Action Review is a process. It’s a very simple series of questions that you can ask yourself after every engagement, encounter, conversation, and project that will help you create a roadmap for growth moving forward. I ask myself five simple questions. I literally used to write these down, but now it’s so internalized that I can just ask myself now.

The five questions are:

  • What did I accomplish?
  • What did I not accomplish?
  • What did I do well?
  • What did I not do so well?
  • What will I do moving forward?

Gentlemen, do not fall prey to the victim mindset. When you do, you subject yourself to outside factors that you shouldn’t be subjecting yourself to and you live a life of mediocrity. If you’re reading this, you’re not interested in living a life of mediocrity. And, in order to elevate your standard of living, your fitness, your relationships, your business, your bank account, every element of your life, you are going to have to accept responsibility and ownership. You are going to have to become self-reliant in every way. You’re going to have to drop your ego. You’re going to have to ask yourself what lessons can be learned. And you’re going to have to incorporate an after-action review.

The post No Victims Here appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
So many men who love to play the “victim card.” They believe that everybody and everything is stacked against and out to get to them. In reality, we know that’s not true. That’s not to say that some negative situations won’t happen. Of course, So many men who love to play the “victim card.” They believe that everybody and everything is stacked against and out to get to them. In reality, we know that’s not true. That’s not to say that some negative situations won’t happen. Of course, they will. People will screw you and, frankly, there are evil … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 21:45
Becoming a Minimalist | Joshua Becker https://www.orderofman.com/becoming-a-minimalist-joshua-becker/ Tue, 19 Jun 2018 11:30:37 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4242 https://www.orderofman.com/becoming-a-minimalist-joshua-becker/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/becoming-a-minimalist-joshua-becker/feed/ 0 <p>Every time you turn around, you’re bombarded with a thousand ads, a million choices, and an endless supply of options and “opportunities.” It’s becoming increasingly difficult to manage the landscape of the ever-growing decisions that need to be made. Add to that our desire to be seen and perceived a certain way by people we …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/becoming-a-minimalist-joshua-becker/">Becoming a Minimalist | Joshua Becker</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Every time you turn around, you’re bombarded with a thousand ads, a million choices, and an endless supply of options and “opportunities.” It’s becoming increasingly difficult to manage the landscape of the ever-growing decisions that need to be made. Add to that our desire to be seen and perceived a certain way by people we may not even know or like, and it’s easy to see why the disease of wanting more is becoming a real problem.

My guest today, Joshua Becker, makes the case for why more is less. He argues (and, I agree) that having less stuff in our life can truly unlock the key to a more meaningful and purpose-driven life. We talk about the benefits of owning less, why we have the desire to own more than we’ll ever need or use, the burden extra possessions place on our lives, and how you can become a minimalist.

“The problem is we just get busy with so much stuff that doesn’t matter as opposed the very few things that actually do.” Tweet That— Joshua Becker

Joshua Becker

Joshua BeckerGentlemen, I have the honor of introducing you to my guest today, Joshua Becker.

He is the founder of Becoming Minimalist and the bestselling author of The More of Less. And, in the spirit of the message we’ll be discussing today, I will keep this introduction short.

We were introduced by a mutual friend who had taken much of what Joshua has been teaching and incorporating it into his own life. I did some initial research and immediately recognized a need to adopt the practice of “rational minimalism” into my own. I’ve already begun implementing some of his teachings and I can honestly say I’ve been able to free up more mental and physical capacity for more important pursuits in my life.

“I don’t think anybody realizes the burden that physical possessions have become on our lives until we take the step to remove them.” Tweet That— Joshua Becker

Show Highlights

  • The positive benefits of owning less
  • The first things you should get rid of
  • Why living on less can be so challenging
  • How our brains aren’t able to handle maximum input
  • The burden “stuff” places on our lives
  • Three reasons we feel the need to own so much stuff
  • How to build the habit of living off less
  • How to decide what the keep and what to eliminate
  • Why money does not equal happiness and security
  • The power of being more generous with your money
  • How to overcome the resistance to living minimally
  • The very first steps to reducing your amount of possessions

“I think instead of being busy, the goal should be focused.” Tweet That— Joshua Becker

The More of Less

Legacy

A couple of years ago, I did a podcast on creating a rite of passage for our sons. The message was so well-received, and there’s been such a dismissal of leading boys into manhood by much of society, that I decided to take it a step further.

That’s why, on September 20-23, 2018, we have decided to host our inaugural Order of Man Legacy event. This is an event designed to forge a stronger bond between you and your son, and give you the tools, resources, and guidance to help usher him into manhood.

Over the course of 3 1/2 days in the mountains of Southern Utah, you and your son (between the ages of 8 – 15) will be participating in a series of events, activities, and discussions designed to push each of you mentally, physically, and emotionally.

You will walk away with a greater knowledge of how to help him become a man, a deeper, more powerful connection with him, and the confidence that comes from knowing you have the tools you need to turn a boy into a man.

To learn more and lock in your spot, visit, www.orderofman.com/legacy.

“I cannot think of  a single negative effect of [becoming a minimalist], only positive.” Tweet That— Joshua Becker

Connect with Joshua Becker

“Owning less is great but wanting less is even better.” Tweet That— Joshua Becker

The post Becoming a Minimalist | Joshua Becker appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Every time you turn around, you’re bombarded with a thousand ads, a million choices, and an endless supply of options and “opportunities.” It’s becoming increasingly difficult to manage the landscape of the ever-growing decisions that need to be made. Every time you turn around, you’re bombarded with a thousand ads, a million choices, and an endless supply of options and “opportunities.” It’s becoming increasingly difficult to manage the landscape of the ever-growing decisions that need to be made. Add to that our desire to be seen and perceived a certain way by people we … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 46:40
The Systematic Softening of Society https://www.orderofman.com/the-systematic-softening-of-society/ Fri, 15 Jun 2018 11:30:51 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4244 https://www.orderofman.com/the-systematic-softening-of-society/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-systematic-softening-of-society/feed/ 0 <p>Society is becoming softer. Society is becoming weaker. This idea of softness is perpetuated by much of society, the school system, media, and entertainment and Hollywood. We do ourselves a huge disservice when we overlook the importance of being strong, tough, gritty, resilient, and all the things that we would traditionally think of when we think …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-systematic-softening-of-society/">The Systematic Softening of Society</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Society is becoming softer. Society is becoming weaker. This idea of softness is perpetuated by much of society, the school system, media, and entertainment and Hollywood. We do ourselves a huge disservice when we overlook the importance of being strong, tough, gritty, resilient, and all the things that we would traditionally think of when we think of how a man shows up in life.

I’m not suggesting by any means that a man can’t be loving, supportive, open, and vulnerable. Of course, he can be those things. There is a time and a place to be that way but to say that that’s always the case, to say that we need to be softer at the expense of these other masculine virtues, is hurting society in general. There will come a point in time where those traditional masculine virtues are to be used in order to produce productive outcomes for ourselves, our loved ones, and the people we care about.

Typically, this manifests itself in a negative situation, whether that’s something in the family like a divorce, loss of a loved one, or being laid off from a job, but it also applies to natural disasters and emergencies. For example, Hurricane Harvey in Texas and the fires in California last year. During these times, we saw countless men, step up and do what it is that men do best. We also see why strength is important in the global arena as well when it comes to military conflict, for example. It’s critical we never overlook the importance of harnessing the power of being tough, resilient, gritty, et cetera.

Today, I want to talk with you about some of the consequences and symptoms of the softening of society. And, I also want to talk about why softness is spreading. I’m not a conspiracy theorist but I do think there are some factors at work here that are promoting this idea of clinging to these softer virtues at the expense of the harder virtues. We’re going to talk about how we can become tougher, more resilient, and stronger because the last thing I want to do is complain, whine, or nag about a topic without providing any solutions.

Let’s talk about the symptoms first:

PARTICIPATION TROPHIES

Unfortunately, we’ve entered an era in which when our children simply show up, we reward them. We pat them on their heads. We tell them they did a good job for simply showing up as if that’s become the new standard of excellence. Every time we reward a child, an employee, or a family member for simply showing up we undermine the standard. We need to be elevating the standard. It’s not enough to show up. It’s not enough to do the bare minimum. It’s not enough just to get by. We need to raise the bar.

I don’t congratulate people when they show up on time. That would be absurd. “Congratulations! You did your job.” That is absolutely ridiculous. I’m not saying we can’t acknowledge the behavior but we certainly don’t want to celebrate the behavior because, again, that becomes the new standard.

Let’s stop giving away participation trophies. Let’s stop giving our children gold stars, little pizza parties, and all the stuff that they want when they do something that they should be doing by default. Let’s instead celebrate real victory. Let’s instead celebrate real effort so that other people can look at that and say, “I want to be recognized. I want to be noticed. Therefore I’m going to work harder to achieve that.”

Unfortunately, right now you can get the recognition, the praise, the accolades, and the positive benefits that come from excelling by doing nothing. That’s a huge problem.

ZERO CONSEQUENCES

Along the same lines as participation trophies are that there are no consequences for our decisions anymore. We have absolutely stripped away any consequence of any behavior and, therefore, there is no problem with just showing up. There is no problem with just being mediocre. There is no problem with just being average. I don’t want to be average! I know that I’m meant for something more. But there are millions of people out there who are just getting by because they can – simply because they can.

Unfortunately, when they are presented with a real challenge, they don’t have the fortitude to address it. They don’t have the physical and mental resilience to be able to handle the problem. This is a real disservice that we’re doing for people. There has to be consequences for our decisions.

We see this in children when we recognize parents who implement no structure, guidance, and discipline with their kids. We see it when colleges don’t want to hand out grades and, instead, hand out passes. We see it when it comes to someone being laid off from work. Instead of allowing them to find new employment quickly, we give them unemployment benefits.

Now, I realize there is a place and a time for a hand up but if there are no consequences for what people do, or don’t do, how sad is that? How sad that we have robbed people of the instant and immediate feedback that is required in order to succeed next time? If there is no consequence for your poor decisions, can you really say that you’ll ever learn the lesson? No. Of course you’ll never learn that lesson. You’ll keep repeating the same mistakes, over and over and over again, simply because you can.

DISMISSAL AND ATTACK OF MASCULINITY

It is becoming apparent that masculinity is under attack. And if not, at a minimum, it’s being dismissed. It’s looked down upon. It’s frowned upon. It’s mocked. It’s belittled. And, it’s ridiculed.

Interestingly enough nobody seems to mind masculinity when men are needed. It’s only when times are good that men are dismissed.

In order to recognize the attack and dismissal of men and masculinity, one need not look further than the court system. It is absolutely stacked against fathers in situations of divorce and separation. Sure there might be some reasons for that. And there might be some men who aren’t adequately prepared to raise their own children. But if you look at how stacked the system is against otherwise good, honorable fathers, you begin to see part of the problem.

And then there’s the notion of “toxic masculinity.” It’s as if somehow masculinity or men, in general, are inherently bad, wrong, or evil. I realize that there have been some horrendous atrocities in our history. And, without having the specific data in front of me, I would be willing to bet that the majority of these atrocities are perpetrated by men. I understand that. I am not dismissing that. But what I am saying is that, just because a man is a man, it does not mean he’s inherently bad, evil, or wrong.

There is an attack, a dismissal, a belittling, and a putting down of masculinity. My job is to raise myself up and to raise good strong, noble, virtuous boys so they can step into what it means to be a man.

Now, let’s talk about the reasons this is the case:

Again, I’m not a conspiracy theorist but very simply, we are being led to live a life of mediocrity. Unfortunately, it’s because we are so weak and pathetic that we refuse to allow anybody to feel bad. That is a problem. We can’t let anybody fail. And, in order to keep people from failing, we cannot let anybody succeed. We have to make sure that everybody is at the same level because if everybody is at the same level then there will be no losers. But guess what? If there are no losers, there are no winners, and if there are no winners then we’re living life significantly less than we are capable of as a society.

It’s a shame. I hate to see people fall behind. I hate to see people in poverty. I hate to see people who live with horrible medical conditions. I hate to see people have bad things happen to them. The truth, however, is that a lot of that is because of their own choices. A lot of that happens because we have robbed them of the consequences of their decisions. So they keep making the dumb mistakes over, and over, and over again.

And, rather than let them learn the lesson, what have we as a society tried to do? Save them. We’ve tried to play the superhero. We’ve tried to come in and rescue people. The problem is, you can’t rescue anybody who doesn’t want to be rescued. And when you do rescue people, you rob them of the experience that they need in order to develop the skills to be stronger, tougher, and more resilient next time.

I’ll give you an example:

I was at the pool this weekend with my children. I took my seven-year-old son who is learning to swim and threw him into the deep end. Now, most people will hear that and think, “Oh my gosh! How can you as a parent do that?” Well, number one: I’m not going to let the kid drown. Number two: He already knows how to swim.

I watched him doggy paddling, kicking, fighting, and paddling his little legs and his little arms as hard as he could. He went under the water. He came back up and he took a breath. He was really fighting hard. I almost went over to help him. But I thought, “You know what? He’s okay. He can do this.” And he was. He swam over to the side. He struggled and it was hard for him. But guess what? Now he’s stronger. He’s more equipped. He’s more capable of doing it next time.

I know it’s a very small example but it illustrates perfectly what we’ve done in society today when we rob the people of their consequences and we allow them to be weak, mediocre, and continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.

WEAK PEOPLE ARE EASY TO CONTROL

Weak people are easier to control. Why? Because they’re dependent. They’re more dependent on their employers. They’re more dependent on their family. They’re more dependent on government subsidies and handouts. Weak people are more easily controlled. They’re the cog in the wheel.

Men represent the last line of defense against any possible threat to ourselves, our families, our businesses, our communities, and our nations. If we are weak, we are more easily controlled, more easily manipulated, and we are more easily put into a position that allows the higher-ups, or the powers that be to do what it is they want to do.

Again, I’m not suggesting there is some grand conspiracy here, but what I am suggesting is that there are some powerful people who wish to remain so powerful that they will do and say whatever they can in order to keep everything the same, to maintain the status quo. And part of that is ensuring that the people who are serving them are weak. Again, men represent (or they should at least represent) the last line of defense. This requires us to be independent. It requires us to think for ourselves. It requires us to be physically and mentally tough, and capable and strong, and it requires us to break away from the dependence that so many of us have been living on for so long.

All right, we’ve talked about the symptoms. We’ve talked about why I believe this is the case. Now, let’s talk about the solutions:

SOLUTION #1: BECOME PHYSICALLY FIT

I believe it is a man’s responsibility to become physically fit. Strength is great in and of itself but all of what’s required in order to become physically stronger (discipline, commitment, sacrifice, etc.) are the same traits required to build mental fortitude. You cannot make decisions in a vacuum. If you improve in one area of your life, you will naturally and inevitably improve in other areas of your life. If you are physically strong, you will also be mentally stronger. That will play out in other areas of your life such as relationships and business.

If you are weak, out of shape, and overweight, you are more dependent on factors that you cannot control: medication, the doctors you visit, and whether your insurance pays for medication and procedures. But guess what? If you’re healthy and you’re strong, you don’t have to worry about that stuff as much and you can focus your time and your resources and your attention on things that should be more pressing.

SOLUTION #2: DO THE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU

Every single day you should be doing something that pushes you outside of your comfort zone, that makes you feel uncomfortable and out of place, that pushes you, and that tests you. The more that you can do that, the stronger that you’re going to be. I’ll give you a couple of examples.

About four weeks ago, I started taking Jiu-Jitsu. I’ve never done it before. I walked into the gym and felt completely out of place, awkward, uncomfortable. But I dove right in. Why? Because I know that if I try these new experiences and I do the things that scare me mentally, emotionally, physically, then I will be stronger than I was before, and that’s important to me.

Also, just last week I committed to doing a marathon. I hate running. I despise running. I’ve never run more than five or six miles at any given time in my entire life but I committed to running 26 miles. Why? Because I don’t want to, because it scares me, and because it’s going to push me outside of my current comfort zone. It’s going to be painful. It’s going to be uncomfortable. I probably won’t enjoy a lot of it, but I know that I’m going to come out of it a stronger man than I was before.

SOLUTION #3: SPEND TIME AROUND MASCULINE MEN

If you’re hanging out with women, and you’re hanging out with boys, and you’re hanging out with immature men, you are never going to build up your strength. If on the other hand, you spend time around guys who are physically strong and mentally tough – the guys that are doing the things that we traditionally think of when we think of manly – you will inevitably have a desire to be more like that. It’s been said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

So, if the people you spend time with are weak, cowardly, soft, and pathetic, it’s likely that you’ll start to exhibit more of those characteristics.

If on the other hand, the men that you spend time with are tough, gritty, resolute, and strong, you are more likely to exhibit those traits. You’ll see how they’re behaving. You’ll see the way that they interact. And that will be appealing to you. You will want to be more like that. You will do the things that they do in order to achieve those type of results.

SOLUTION #4: BECOME INDEPENDENT

In February of this year, I released my book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. Becoming independent is what the book is all about. It’s becoming sovereign. It’s about living by your own rules. It’s about being fully capable of taking care of yourself. It’s about not being subject to anything or anyone and becoming completely independent. It’s about wrestling back the control that you’ve been giving to your spouse, your boss, your friends, your parents, and the government.

You do that when you make excuses, craft little lies, and fabricate stories in your own head to justify your softness and your mediocrity. We’ve got to strip away those lies. We’ve got to reclaim our sovereignty. We’ve got to be physically strong so we are not beholden to an insurance company, or a doctor’s office, or a medication in order to live the lives that we want to live. We’ve got to get our financial house in order. If you’re in debt up to your eyeballs, you have subjected yourself to the financial institutions that would love to keep you enslaved.

Get your financial house in order, develop a new skill, make some more money, pay off your debt, stash a little money under your mattress, put it in a savings account, invest your money, be wise, and be financially free.

Sovereignty also comes into play at your work, whether you’re an employee, a boss, an entrepreneur, or a business owner. You need to maintain your sovereignty. How do you do this? By making yourself indispensable, learning new skills, making your boss look good, spending more time at work, getting there early, leaving late, skipping the lunch break, excelling, doing the things that nobody else wants to do, signing up for new projects, and getting new degrees and designations so that you can learn to make more money. Learn to be more valuable to your co-workers and your boss.  That way you put yourself in a position of authority rather than giving the authority you should maintain for yourself to somebody else. Do not live beholden to anyone.

These are the ways that we develop our strength. This is the way we wrestle back the strength, fortitude, grit, resiliency and the resolve we need to display. It’s easy for people to mock, ridicule, belittle, and put down these masculine virtues in times of relative peace. Currently, we are pretty secure, which is why people can complain about masculinity.

But I’ll tell you what. There’s going to come a point in our lives, whether it’s through a divorce, bankruptcy, job loss, disability, a death of a loved one, lawsuit, natural disaster, emergency, car wreck, or a military conflict where we as men will be called upon again. Those people who are complaining about masculinity are the ones who will call on you to do what you were born to do. The question is, will you be ready to do it?

We live in an era where being soft, and weak, and pathetic is accepted. And, not only accepted, it’s encouraged. This is acceptable because we live in a time of relative prosperity, but there will come a time where you will be called to be the man you’re capable of being, and that’s going to require you to be strong, tough, and resilient. I hope that I am adequately prepared for that day. I hope you’re adequately prepared for that day.

The post The Systematic Softening of Society appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Society is becoming softer. Society is becoming weaker. This idea of softness is perpetuated by much of society, the school system, media, and entertainment and Hollywood. We do ourselves a huge disservice when we overlook the importance of being stron... Society is becoming softer. Society is becoming weaker. This idea of softness is perpetuated by much of society, the school system, media, and entertainment and Hollywood. We do ourselves a huge disservice when we overlook the importance of being strong, tough, gritty, resilient, and all the things that we would traditionally think of when we think … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 26:59
The Disciplined Pursuit of Less | Greg McKeown https://www.orderofman.com/the-disciplined-pursuit-of-less-greg-mckeown/ Tue, 12 Jun 2018 11:30:56 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4190 https://www.orderofman.com/the-disciplined-pursuit-of-less-greg-mckeown/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-disciplined-pursuit-of-less-greg-mckeown/feed/ 0 <p>In a world where everyone and everything is clamoring for your attention, it is becomingly increasingly difficult to focus on the vital few as opposed to the trivial many. My guest today, Greg McKeown, the New York Times Bestselling Author of Essentialism, makes the case for why less can actually be more. We talk about …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-disciplined-pursuit-of-less-greg-mckeown/">The Disciplined Pursuit of Less | Greg McKeown</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

In a world where everyone and everything is clamoring for your attention, it is becomingly increasingly difficult to focus on the vital few as opposed to the trivial many.

My guest today, Greg McKeown, the New York Times Bestselling Author of Essentialism, makes the case for why less can actually be more. We talk about how to eliminate distractions, the criteria for measuring what task you should actually focus on, how to establish proper boundaries, and why every man should take on the disciplined pursuit of less.

“When individuals, teams, or organizations become successful, there’s a huge increase in options and opportunities that can distract them from the clarity that led to success in the first place.” Tweet That

— Greg McKeown

Greg McKeown

Greg McKeownGentlemen, I want to introduce you to my guest today, Mr. Greg McKeown. He is a man who needs no introduction for many of you.

If you’re familiar with his work at all, you’ve likely read the book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. In this New York Times Bestselling book, Greg makes the case for why each of us should strive to focus on the few things that actually matter as opposed to the tasks and projects many of us get bogged down with.

He’s spoken all over the world at industry conference, huge companies like Apple, Google, Facebook, and Twitter, and governments including a personal invitation from the Prince of Norway.

Needless to say, this is a man who knows what he’s talking about when it comes to doing less but producing more.

“We need to create space to explore so we can discern between the vital few and the trivial many.” Tweet That

— Greg McKeown

Show Highlights

  • Why focusing on less can be more
  • How to ensure only the right things get done
  • The difference between thinking broadly and deeply
  • Establishing criteria to measure your decisions
  • How to eliminate the things that don’t matter
  • How to effectively establish proper boundaries
  • How to refine and hone your gut instinct
  • Establishing practices for systematic execution
  • Why small wins are vital
  • How using the word ‘no’ is a liberating exercise
  • Moving your thinking from “can’t” to “don’t”
  • Focusing on the vital few rather than the trivial many
  • How to create more space (physical and mental) in your life

“There are small things we can do in the here and now that impact us a very long time into the future.” Tweet That

— Greg McKeown

The Iron Council

Let’s be honest, there are all kinds of programs, courses, conferences, and mastermind you could be part of. The question is, which one(s) do you attend? In the spirit of our discussion today, you can consume yourself with the learning process and never move into the application process.

That’s where the Iron Council comes in. Our goal is and always has been to bridge the gap between what we, as men, know and what we actually do. That’s why you get weekly challenges, monthly assignments, and the chance to operate in 15-man Battle Team with men who will hold you accountable to what you say you’re going to do.

Of course, there’s so much more but, again, in the spirit of Essentialism, if you’re going to choose to be part of something, I’d suggest you be part of something that is designed to actually move the needle rather than just talk about moving the needle.

If you want to learn more and lock in your seat at the table, head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“There are a few things that are exceptionally valuable and almost everything else is noise.” Tweet That

— Greg McKeown

Connect with McKeown

“First, less. Then, obsess.” Tweet That

— Greg McKeown

 

The post The Disciplined Pursuit of Less | Greg McKeown appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
In a world where everyone and everything is clamoring for your attention, it is becomingly increasingly difficult to focus on the vital few as opposed to the trivial many. My guest today, Greg McKeown, the New York Times Bestselling Author of Essential... In a world where everyone and everything is clamoring for your attention, it is becomingly increasingly difficult to focus on the vital few as opposed to the trivial many. My guest today, Greg McKeown, the New York Times Bestselling Author of Essentialism, makes the case for why less can actually be more. We talk about … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 53:00
How to Command Respect https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-command-respect/ Fri, 08 Jun 2018 11:30:22 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4225 https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-command-respect/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-command-respect/feed/ 0 <p>I see so many men who don’t have any level of respect for themselves let alone being able to command any respect from others. I was noticing the other day as I was walking to the post office, that there were people who wouldn’t even look me in the eye. And, not only would they …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-command-respect/">How to Command Respect</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I see so many men who don’t have any level of respect for themselves let alone being able to command any respect from others. I was noticing the other day as I was walking to the post office, that there were people who wouldn’t even look me in the eye. And, not only would they not look me in the eye, they were working hard to ensure that they didn’t have to look me in the eye. When I shake people’s hand, I get these limp fish handshakes. Those are just two small examples of the manifestation of a lack of confidence. It’s bad, guys. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve seen this in co-workers, friends, kids, and maybe even yourself.

And, if you’re someone who is not commanding respect,  you are living a life less than you’re capable of. I don’t want that to be the case. I want you, as a man to step up, to be assertive, confident, to be able to ask for promotions, ask women on dates, and get out of this life what you should. And, part of that is being able to command the respect of other people.

When I talk about commanding respect, one of the things that I’m really addressing here is the idea of the “X-factor.” We’ve all seen it. We’ve all been to a meeting, conference or office setting when we just feel somebody walk into the room. We turn around and see this guy who has “it,” whatever “it” is. We can’t quite put our finger on it but we know that this is a guy that has something special; there’s something unique about this individual. What a lot of men do is write that off and dismiss it as something that he was naturally gifted or naturally born with. Sure, there may be men who have a predisposition to be more like this but I’ll tell you what, being able to develop what most people write off as the “X-factor” is something that can be developed. I know this because that’s what I’ve been able to do.

For a long time (especially when I was younger) I walked around very insecure, very complacent, and frankly just a little bit afraid and scared of life in general. I couldn’t make eye contact with people. I couldn’t hold a conversation. And not only that, I actually just tried to avoid people altogether. It wasn’t up until relatively recently that I have been able to develop a level of confidence that allows me to look in another person’s eyes. This newfound level of confidence allows me to ask and command exactly what I believe I deserve. I’m just telling you, from experience, it’s a significantly better way to live.

I made a post on Instagram two or three weeks ago about teaching others how to treat you. A lot of people agreed with me and said, “Yeah, you definitely teach other people how to treat you,” and other people blew that off and dismissed it. I believe that you and I are constantly teaching other people how we will be treated. We do this through our actions and our words and the way we carry ourselves We teach our kids, spouses, colleagues, employers, and bosses to what level of respect we will be treated with.

That’s the last thing I want to see in men. I want men to walk around with their heads held high. I want them to have a level of confidence in what they’re doing, who they are, and how they show up because I believe that this will, first, save their sanity and well-being and, second, determine much of their success.

Study after study suggests that confident people make more money. They get the promotions. They get the jobs. They get the women. They get the success.

I was thinking about this topic and researching, I decided to share five strategies that will help you command more respect in your life. Before I tell you what they are, I would encourage you to share this with your sons, a boss, colleagues, co-workers, friend, brothers, a father, and any other man who needs to hear this message.

TREAT YOURSELF WITH RESPECT

If you want to be respected by other people, first and foremost, you need to respect yourself. I know a lot of men who downplay their role in society. They downplay their contribution to the family or to the business or to the community. I see a lot of guys who beat themselves up, get inside their own heads with negative self-talk, and surround themselves with negative people. They don’t respect themselves nearly enough, therefore, other people look at them and think, “I don’t need to treat this guy with respect.” People see how you treat yourself and determine how they’re going to treat you.

Hold your head up high. Know that you’re valuable. Know that you have worth. Know that you have a contribution to your environment, a conversation, an encounter, an experience, and/or a project at work. You are valuable. You have to let others know and you have to believe that about yourself.

Take a look at your own life. What have you done in the past that proves that you have something to add? I can guarantee that every one of us has something. And, yet, there are so many men out there who decide, instead, to focus on their failure, setbacks, and how horrible they are, or how weak and sad they are. They tell themselves these things and worse. The result of this behavior is that other people are going treat you the exact same way you’re treating yourself.

BE WORTHY OF BEING RESPECTED

Respect is earned. There are a lot of men who will read this and think that what I’m talking about today is demanding respect. No, it’s not demanding respect; it’s commanding respect. The difference is that people will voluntarily respect you if you command it. If you’re demanding somebody’s respect, you’re forcing them, you’re manipulating them, you’re coercing them, you’re using your position at a work, environment, or job to force people to respect you. That’s not respect at all.

Commanding respect, on the other hand, is having a level of confidence in yourself and doing work so that other people want to follow you. If you’re commanding respect people will want you to lead them. They’ll look to you and think, “That guy’s got the ‘X-factor.'”

So how do you do this? You simply do the things that are worthy of receiving that level of respect. If you’re in a leadership position, for example, and you’re asking your subordinates to do something you’re not willing to do yourself, they’re never going to respect you. When your words and actions are in alignment, you are in integrity; you are being a man of your word. People need to know you’re more than just talk, that you’re about action.

Be worthy of being respected. Do the hard things, put yourself out there, put yourself in difficult situations, learn new information, do something that scares you every single day. When you start doing that, you start building this level of confidence that can’t really be manipulated, it can’t be fabricated, it has to be earned.

COMMUNICATE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

No one is going to read your mind. No one is going to try to guess what it is that you’re after. I’ll give you a very small example: When I coached my boys’ baseball, football, and basketball teams, in the very first practice I talked about respect. I talk about what that means, what that looks like, how we will talk to each other, how the players are to talk to me, and what title they will be using when they address me. It is so important that you communicate the expectations.

You can do that verbally through the example I just shared, but you also do it non-verbally with how you carry yourself and your demeanor as you engage in conversations and activities. Let there be no guesswork, no misunderstanding, no confusion about the way you expect to be treated. Because, if there’s confusion, your needs are not going to be met and the needs of the people you’re working with (whether that’s your spouse, or your kids, or your subordinates) will not be met either. So, get on the same page, communicate the expectation, and know how you expect to be treated.

UPHOLD THE EXPECTATION

If you’ve communicated the expectation and you let people continue to walk over you over and over and over again, you’re never going to be able to command any level of respect. This is a very difficult thing to do. I talk to a lot of guys who play the “nice guy.” This is a huge problem for a lot of men because they believe playing the “nice guy” is the best way to get what they want. It’s not. It’s unhealthy. It damaging.

You don’t need to be the aggressive, macho, jerk either; you need to be the “assertive guy.” So, if something’s bothering you about the way somebody’s treating you, or the way they’re handling a situation, you need to get very, very good at being able to communicate that. Remind people of the expectation, that they have failed to meet the expectation, and what you need them to do now.

I’ll give you a prime example: The other day, I got back from a quick business trip on a Saturday. I asked my son to mow the lawn while I was gone. When I pulled into the driveway, I took a look at the lawn and saw that it was mowed but not very well. My son had missed a lot of areas. There were a lot of patches that he didn’t even hit. He just didn’t do a good job. My thought was that he probably knew this. So, very calmly, I went inside and said hello to my family, then said, “Son, come out here with me.” We walked around the grass and I said, “You know what it means to mow the lawn correctly, right?” to which he responded, “Yes.” I said, “Please explain that to me.”

I needed him to explain that to me because I wanted to make sure that we were on the same page and there was no confusion about what the expectation was. He told me what the expecation was and I said, “Yes, that’s correct. Now, the second question: does the job that you did while I was gone today match that expectation?” He paused for a minute, put his head down, and he said, “No, it doesn’t.” I said, “That’s right, it does not. Can you please share with me what you did not do correctly?” He walked me through the lawn and he showed me, “I missed this and I didn’t do this. We talked about this but I didn’t do it.” I said, “That’s exactly right.”

Now, here’s where most people would fail: Most people would say, “That’s okay. You can just go ahead and do it next week. Just make sure you get it right and do it next week.” or, “It’s okay, I just wanted to make sure you knew about this.”

Let me tell you what, it’s not okay. What needs to be said, is “You knew the expectation. I asked you to mow the lawn. That’s your contribution to the household. So what I’d like you to do is to go get your lawn mowing clothes and shoes on, put dinner away for a second, get back out here, and get the lawn mowed the way it needs to be mowed.

Was he happy about that? Of course not. That took away from what he was trying to do. I wasn’t happy about it either. That’s not a fun conversation to have. But unless I let him see that I am going to uphold the expectation, I need to be prepared for him to continue to do less than what is expected. That is how you uphold the expectation. If there’s a project at work and you have an employee who didn’t do the project to standard, they need to do the project to standard; not, “it’s okay this one time.” Not “I’ll let it slide.” Do not turn a blind eye. Uphold the expectation. Here’s what will eventually happen: People are going to begin to respect you. My son will see that I’m not messing around and, next time, he’ll mow the lawn the right way the first time.

I have the same types of conversations with my wife. I have the same types of conversations with the vendors I work with. When I had full-time employees, I had the same type of conversations with them. And the problems between me and them were few and far between because they understood that I am not an individual who is going to expect people to do things one way and let them go unchecked. This is not about micro-management either. This is about communicating and upholding the standard. If you don’t, no one else will either.

This does two things. First, it builds your level of confidence in yourself because you’re going to start feeling better about having an uncomfortable conversation you know need to be had. The alternative is not having the conversation and then being pissed off. It eats at your heart, your soul, and your mind because you knew something needed to be said and yet you didn’t have the balls to say it. So, go out and say it. Second, it proves to others that you’re somebody worth following. See, it’s really easy for people to just get by. In fact, people expect to be let down. But when you uphold the standard for yourself and you uphold the standard for them, you become somebody who is now more able to be relied upon and trusted.

REMOVE FROM YOUR LIFE THOSE WHO REFUSE TO RESPECT YOU

There are some people who are never going to adhere to your standard. Either they’re incapable of, don’t want to, or choose not to. They will never treat you with the level of respect that you believe you deserve. You could do everything else: treat yourself with respect, be worthy of respect, communicate expectations, uphold expectations, and yet there are certain people – employees, friends, co-workers, colleagues, even bosses – who refuse, for whatever reason, to treat you with the respect you deserve. Guess what? There’s nothing you can do about that. It’s unfortunate. It’s not comfortable. But it is what it is.

Remove the people who refuse to respect you. Here’s where people say it gets hard; “It’s my wife.” or “It’s my boss.” Look, I get it. I didn’t say this was going to be easy. You have a choice with regards to how long you’re going to allow yourself to be abused. At some point, it becomes abuse and you are allowing yourself to be the victim. If you recognize that there are certain people who are never going to treat you with the level of respect you should be treated with and you continue to let that happen, that’s your fault. If you recognize it and don’t do anything about it or remove yourself from the situation, that’s your fault. “Well Ryan, I have to stay because it’s my boss.” Nobody’s forcing you to do that job. “Well, I have to stay because it’s my wife.” Nobody’s forcing you to maintain that marriage.

Now I want to be very clear here, I’m not suggesting you be flippant about these situations. If your boss yells at you or you and your wife get into an argument, it’s probably not grounds for leaving. But what I am saying is that over time, through consistency, you realize it’s never going to change, you have to be the one to make the change. Understand some people are just never going to give you that respect. That’s okay. But if you continue to subject yourself to that situation, that’s now your problem, that’s now your fault.

So, do everything you can for as long as you can. Understand what your line is. When you get to that line, you’ll have some tough decisions to make. But that’s okay. That’s part of life. It’s hard. It’s awkward. You don’t want to do it. It’s uncomfortable. It’s not a fun process. But if you want to command the respect that you deserve, these are the stances, the conversations, the lines that you’re going to need to draw in the sand in order to command the level of respect you deserve.

This is not the entire process. I know I didn’t get very much in-depth into what it is we’re talking about here but it gets you on the right path. It gives you a start and, at least, it gets you thinking about what you need to do in your life to develop the “X-factor.”

Let me recap:

Treat yourself with respect. People are looking to you to determine how they can treat you and what they can get away with. Treat yourself with respect.

Be worthy of being respected. If you think about what that word “worthy” means, it means that you’re worth being respected. You have to do the difficult things, have the hard conversations, be a man of your word, and live in integrity with who you are and what you’re saying.

Communicate the expectation. We communicate the expectation verbally and non-verbally. Communicate with the people who you are trying to command respect from what the expectation is.

Uphold the expectation. If you don’t uphold the expectation, it’s not really an expectation; you’re just hoping and wishing that somebody will treat you with respect. If there is an expectation, there’s a line you need to keep in place. If you don’t, you’re not going to command the respect that you deserve. People are going to get out of line sometimes. You can let that line be blurred and muddied, or you can say “No. This is where I put my foot down.” Of course, you can do that tactfully and respectfully, but all the same, you need to put your foot down and uphold that expectation.

Remove from your life those who refuse to respect you. If you recognize through your consistent effort in maintaining these first four steps that there are people in your life who are never going to respect you the way you need to be respected, you need to eliminate those people from your life. It’s challenging. It’s tough. It’s not fun. But it is required if you expect to command any level of respect in your life.

The post How to Command Respect appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I see so many men who don’t have any level of respect for themselves let alone being able to command any respect from others. I was noticing the other day as I was walking to the post office, that there were people who wouldn’t even look me in the eye.... I see so many men who don’t have any level of respect for themselves let alone being able to command any respect from others. I was noticing the other day as I was walking to the post office, that there were people who wouldn’t even look me in the eye. And, not only would they … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 23:20
Forging Mental Toughness | Ryan Lange https://www.orderofman.com/forging-mental-toughness-ryan-lange/ Tue, 05 Jun 2018 11:30:59 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4185 https://www.orderofman.com/forging-mental-toughness-ryan-lange/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/forging-mental-toughness-ryan-lange/feed/ 0 <p>We all know that we need to be mentally tough. There’s no question of that. Yet, forging mental toughness seems to be one of the most elusive pursuits. All of us know how to develop physical toughness but rarely do we have any practices in place that will help us develop mental toughness. My guest …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/forging-mental-toughness-ryan-lange/">Forging Mental Toughness | Ryan Lange</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

We all know that we need to be mentally tough. There’s no question of that. Yet, forging mental toughness seems to be one of the most elusive pursuits. All of us know how to develop physical toughness but rarely do we have any practices in place that will help us develop mental toughness.

My guest today, Ryan Lange, is one of the most mentally tough men I know. It’s amazing considering he’s only 21 years old. I won’t get into all that he’s accomplished just yet but please understand that the amount of physical strain he’s put on his body is simply incredible. Today we talk about developing the capability to transcend pain, fostering the willingness to embrace hardship, why hard work is omnipotent, and how to forge more mental toughness.

“The feeling of working very hard, and wanting to succeed, and following through, and crossing that finish line was a feeling I was beyond addicted to.” Tweet That

–Ryan Lange

Ryan Lange

Ryan LangeRyan Lange reached out a couple months ago and asked to come on the podcast.

Honestly, at first thought, I wasn’t going to have him on because so many people talk about mental toughness. It’s a little like saying you want to talk about leadership.

But then, I started looking into what this kid has done. And, I say kid because he’s only 20 years old. Now, I realize he’s a man (not a child) but I’m absolutely blown away with what he’s done already.

He’s completed 50K’s, 50 milers, 100 milers, and at the end of last year completed a 238 mile race in Moab, UT. To give you an idea of what that means, it took roughly 86 hours for him to complete.

I’m incredibly inspired by Ryan and his approach to mental toughness. You will be too.

“If everyone understood the feeling of working hard and winning, the world would be a different place.” Tweet That

–Ryan Lange

Show Highlights

  • Developing the capability to transcend pain
  • Developing a willingness to embrace the hardship
  • The critical importance of long-term focus
  • How to break those long-term goals into micro goals
  • The dangers of not developing mental toughness
  • How to effectively train the mind
  • Why hard work is omnipotent
  • How to maintain focus in a world of distraction
  • Our obligation as men to be mentally fit
  • Keeping yourself from wasting experiences
  • The power of linear progression

“Suffering you cannot enjoy. You can really only embrace suffering and learn from suffering.” Tweet That

–Ryan Lange

The Iron Council

Mental toughness is such a critical skill to develop and it’s one that is frequently overlooked. The trick with developing mental toughness is putting yourself in uncomfortable situations to expand yourself and your experiences.

This is a big part of what we’re doing inside the Iron Council. Each and every week, we issue two challenges designed to push you mentally, physically, and emotionally. Sure, you can choose not to do them but I will tell you, the men who push outside their comfort zone typically produce on such a higher level than those who stay complacent.

If you’re ready to step outside your comfort zone and try something new, I encourage you to join us in the Iron Council. Head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil to learn more and claim your seat.

“It’s men’s responsibility to be self-starters, to be disciplined.” Tweet That

–Ryan Lange

Connect with Ryan Lange

“If you’ve put in the work and you truly believe in yourself – you believe you deserve to cross that finish line – you’re never going to get in your own head.” Tweet That

–Ryan Lange

The post Forging Mental Toughness | Ryan Lange appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
We all know that we need to be mentally tough. There’s no question of that. Yet, forging mental toughness seems to be one of the most elusive pursuits. All of us know how to develop physical toughness but rarely do we have any practices in place that w... We all know that we need to be mentally tough. There’s no question of that. Yet, forging mental toughness seems to be one of the most elusive pursuits. All of us know how to develop physical toughness but rarely do we have any practices in place that will help us develop mental toughness. My guest … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 43:21
The Rise of the Peter Pans https://www.orderofman.com/the-rise-of-the-peter-pans/ Fri, 01 Jun 2018 11:30:05 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4205 https://www.orderofman.com/the-rise-of-the-peter-pans/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-rise-of-the-peter-pans/feed/ 0 <p>Everyone has seen the movie or the play, Peter Pan. What we see is a boy who, for whatever reason, has decided that he never wants to grow up, that he wants to shirk his responsibility and stay in Neverland while he jokes, plays, and engages in practical jokes on the Hook. We realize this …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-rise-of-the-peter-pans/">The Rise of the Peter Pans</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Everyone has seen the movie or the play, Peter Pan. What we see is a boy who, for whatever reason, has decided that he never wants to grow up, that he wants to shirk his responsibility and stay in Neverland while he jokes, plays, and engages in practical jokes on the Hook. We realize this is a fictional work, but if we look around in society, it’s not really all that far off from what we see in a lot of men.

I’ll give you a prime example. Just the other day, there was a piece I read about a 30-year old man who had taken his parents to court because his parents were “evicting” him from their house. How pathetic is this? Maybe there’s something wrong with this guy (obviously there’s something wrong with this guy). But it’s amazing that his thought process is to fight so hard to stay at home. I can’t help, but there’s something seriously wrong with him. But in addition to that, I can’t help but think there’s something wrong with the parents. How was this guy raised? How was he fathered?

When I was done with high school, we went on our senior trip. The day I got home – the very next day – I moved out. It wasn’t’ because I had anything against my mother but because it was time. It was time to leave the nest. I see so many boys who are more concerned with staying at home than experiencing life. They’re more concerned with not having bills and upholding their responsibilities. They’re more concerned with Call of Duty or Fortnite (or whatever the game is that they’re playing). They’re shirking their responsibilities. They don’t have jobs. And, their parents are enabling them to actually do this. And we question why we’re having problems with our boys turning into men. This is the failure to launch syndrome – the rise of the Peter Pans.

The good news is that there are some solutions to this. If you find yourself in a position where you’re a boy or a male who wants to grow up but can’t figure out how to do it, this article will provide the solution. I see so many men who use the excuse of not having a father figure in their life to justify their lack of performance as men. I can’t believe that it needs to be addressed, but it certainly does. So, let’s talk about this today.

If you’re experiencing this and you’re nervous about launching, I’m going to share some ideas. But, I’m also going share some insights for those of us who are fathers – someone who is responsible for raising up boys in a way where they want to go out into society and produce, as opposed to consuming. And that’s the difference between a boy and a man. A boy consumes. That’s all he does. Sure, men can consume as well, but they also produce. And hopefully, they are producing significantly more than they consume. You can see if that’s not the case, that we’d have a real problem.

For example, I look at my boys and daughter. They consume resources. That’s not bad, that’s what they do. My goal as a parent, however, is to help them stand on their own two feet. Too many parents these days are doing everything for their children thinking that somehow they’re giving their children a leg up when they do everything for them. They’re not. They’re crippling their children. They’re hindering their ability to learn and to develop the strength they need in order to be successful.

Take an infant for example: if you carry that infant everywhere, that child will never develop the physical leg strength to be able to walk. The same holds true when it comes to their mental and emotional capacity as well. We can plainly see boys and girls who may have developed physically, but mentally and emotionally, are a complete wreck because they’ve never had to engage and develop any sort of fortitude and/or grit.

Growing Up is Not Bad

We have got to understand that growing up is not a bad thing. So many people believe that, if they grow up they’ll have too many burdens, responsibilities, issues, struggles, trials, and challenges. Yes, that is true. You will have those things, but there are also so many blessings that come from those situations.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve met my wife, brought children into this world, started businesses, been on some amazing vacations, and had numerous wonderful experiences. It’s incredible. In order to have meaningful and significant experiences in your life, you are going to have to experience some hardships. That’s part of the deal. You cannot have one without the other. And anytime an individual tries to get something for nothing, they rob themselves of developing their talents, gifts, and abilities.

Growing up and accepting responsibility and accountability for your own life is not a bad thing. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s a great thing. There are so many benefits and rewards that come from taking responsibility for your life.

No One Owes You Anything

Nobody is here to serve you and be at your beck and call. Nobody is here to give you everything that you think you deserve. There’s no family member, no business, no government entity, no non-profit organization that owes you a thing.

So many people believe that they are entitled to something simply because they’re a human being, simply because air is coursing through their lungs. I got news for you, if that’s what you believe, you are significantly playing at a degree less than you are capable of. When you realize that nobody owes you a thing and, you fully internalize that, you give yourself the power to earn everything you desire.

You deserve everything you currently you have. If you have wealth, abundance, and prosperity in your life, you deserve that. If you don’t, it’s because you deserve that level of wealth, or prosperity, or abundance, or lack thereof.

Now, some people hear that and think, “Well, what about people who can’t? And, what about those who are disabled?” I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about those who are fully capable of providing their own way.

Again, you are not entitled to anything. But, that’s okay. Because once you accept responsibility, you can go out and earn it, which is significantly more rewarding.

Spend More Time with Men, Not Boys

If you’re telling yourself, “I just don’t know how to step up as a man,” you need to stop spending time with boys. Find a way to spend time with men. If you surround yourself with people who don’t take accountability and responsibility for their life, I’d have you consider that’s probably the way you’re going to turn out as well. You are going to be just like that.

Now, on the other hand, if you find men to surround yourself with (co-workers, colleagues, friends, parents, brothers, and people who are doing big things in their life) that will inevitably wear off on you. You will strive to be more like those individuals.

If you strive to spend time with genuine men, you’re going to find people who lift you up, motivate you, inspire you, and give you a kick in the pants that you need. You’re going rise up to the challenge.

Don’t look for the easy path. Don’t look for the path of least resistance. That’s what boys do. Men, however, know life is a challenge. They rise to that challenge because they’ve realized the rewards and the benefits on the other side of that trial and obstacle are well worth the effort.

Find Meaningful Purpose

It’s not enough to have trivial pursuits in your life. What’s really driving you? What’s really motivating you? How big and audacious are those goals? If you don’t have goals or something significant to pursue, it’s likely you’re not going to rise up and become the man that you were meant to be and you’re going to play at a level far less than you’re capable of. If there’s nothing pushing and pulling you, driving and motivating you, sit down and figure out exactly what you want. You don’t have to have this completely figured out and it’s likely going to change over time so be patient with yourself.

If ask you, “What do you want,” and you can’t answer that question, there’s a real problem but, if I ask you, “What is it that you want out of life,” and you can look me in the eye and say, “this is exactly what I want. Here is the job I want to have. Here are the experiences I want to pursue. Here are the changes I want to make,” you’re well on your way to becoming a man.

Now, let’s talk about the second component I wanted to address: us as father figures. It’s not just dads I’m talking about, but community leaders, mentors, business owners, employers, etc. We have a responsibility to raise the next generation. We’re going to ask that they lead us at some point. We ought to make sure we’re adequately preparing them to lead.

Do Not Allow Our Children to be Raised by Women Exclusively

Women bring something wonderful to the environment. My wife does an amazing job in fulfilling her responsibilities as a mother. She is compassionate, empathetic, supportive, and loving. I’m not suggesting men can’t exhibit those traits as well but women are uniquely equipped to thrive in those ways. And, that’s much needed in society.

But, if you look at the rate of fatherless homes and you look at the rate of female versus male school teachers, it’s very apparent that a large percentage of our population is being raised in the home and in the school system without a male figure in their life.

Boys Need to be Challenged

Why is that a problem? Among other reasons, these boys are not being challenged. They’re not being pushed. They’re not standing face-to-face with another man who is pushing him, who’s driving him to be better, who’s course-correcting along the way.

We recognize this in the very soft, effeminate trend in our boys who are not rising up to the challenge of being a man. That statement is going to fire a lot of people up. I’m not discounting at all what women bring into a loving household and into society in general. What I am saying is that both the masculine and the feminine energy are needed. If all these boys are receiving is feminine energy, I don’t think it should be any surprise that they don’t learn how to be men.

My mother raised me primarily on her own. But, if you were to ask her if she equipped to give me everything I needed as a boy learning how to be a man, she would be the first to tell you that she did not. She was not equipped with everything she needed which is why she got me involved in competitive sports. I needed a physical, mental, emotional challenge. I needed other men to stand with. I needed to disciplined by other men. I needed to be course-corrected by other men who weren’t afraid to have those challenging conversations, get in my face, and tell me when I was doing wrong and when I was doing right.

There Must be Consequences

Please understand me. There has to be consequences for our decisions, both positive and negative. When our children make good decisions, we should reward them. I’m not saying gift them things. I’m saying we encourage them with a simple comment or a compliment. Every time a child does something good, works hard, exhibits discipline, shows commitment, overcomes a trial, or does something above and beyond what they are called to do, we ought to encourage that.

When a child does something wrong, gets into trouble, and doesn’t do what he or she is supposed to do, then we as parents have to, at times, be the deliverer of the consequences. That’s not fun. Nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to see their child suffer. I don’t want to see my boys and my little girl go through challenges. But, I would rather have them go through these types of challenges in a controlled environment under my watchful eye than run loose and do who knows what without any consequences or thought about the future and how it might impact them.

That is my job as a father: to introduce struggle, challenge, adversity, and trials. And, equip my children with the tools to be able to handle those obstacles. These factors, when not present in the home or young men’s lives, create the kind of situation where a 30-year-old man can go to court and sue his parents because they’re kicking him out of the house.

It’s a very small symptom of the underlying problem that is the rise of the Peter Pans in society. We have to reverse this trend. How do we do it? First and foremost, we stop living this way ourselves. We take responsibility. When there’s an opportunity at work, we step up to the opportunity. We take on the trial. We take on the task. We don’t shirk our responsibilities. We don’t take the path of least resistance. We do the hard things because we realize, although it’s hard, there are benefits on the other side of that difficult challenge and adversity.

Second, we instill the same thing in our boys. We don’t coddle them. We don’t protect them. We don’t shelter them unnecessarily. We allow them to be introduced to challenge, trial, adversity, and struggle. We teach them what it means to have a significant purpose in their lives. We help them deal with the consequences of their decisions so, when we look back and ask if we did a good job as a father, we can see our boys and girls standing on their own two feet doing what they should be doing as functioning and contributing members of society.

I wish the answers were easy. They’re certainly not. It’s hard to articulate everything that should and can be done in a simple blog post but I firmly believe that this is the beginning of the solution to the rise of the Peter Pans.

Do not allow yourself to be fooled into thinking that the path of least resistance is the path that we are destined to take as men. It’s not. We should be looking for the harder path – the more challenging path. Afterall, the view on the other side of that is significantly more rewarding than playing it safe and taking it easy.

The post The Rise of the Peter Pans appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Everyone has seen the movie or the play, Peter Pan. What we see is a boy who, for whatever reason, has decided that he never wants to grow up, that he wants to shirk his responsibility and stay in Neverland while he jokes, plays, Everyone has seen the movie or the play, Peter Pan. What we see is a boy who, for whatever reason, has decided that he never wants to grow up, that he wants to shirk his responsibility and stay in Neverland while he jokes, plays, and engages in practical jokes on the Hook. We realize this … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 24:20
Dreaming Big and Writing Your Own Story | Charlie Jabaley https://www.orderofman.com/dreaming-big-and-writing-your-own-story-charlie-jabaley/ Tue, 29 May 2018 11:30:20 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4178 https://www.orderofman.com/dreaming-big-and-writing-your-own-story-charlie-jabaley/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/dreaming-big-and-writing-your-own-story-charlie-jabaley/feed/ 0 <p>All of us have a story. We all have a past. Our prior circumstances define who we are today but do not have to define who we will become moving forward. Too bad most of us never learn to rewrite the script. Today, I am joined by a friend and man who is impacting and …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/dreaming-big-and-writing-your-own-story-charlie-jabaley/">Dreaming Big and Writing Your Own Story | Charlie Jabaley</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

All of us have a story. We all have a past. Our prior circumstances define who we are today but do not have to define who we will become moving forward. Too bad most of us never learn to rewrite the script.

Today, I am joined by a friend and man who is impacting and influencing millions. His name is Charlie Jabaley and he’s someone who walked away from a multi-million dollar business to rewrite his life, lose a massive amount of weight, become an endorsed Nike athlete, and bike across the USA. We talk about what inspired him to make a life-altering change and how he is using positivity to change the world.

“Being perfect doesn’t help anybody.” Tweet That

–Charlie Jabaley

Charlie Jabaley

Charlie JabaleyI met Charlie several months ago when he and I were podcasting in St. Louis with Andy Frisella on the MFCEO Podcast.

He and I immediately hit it off and I was extremely inspired by him, his story, and the positive changes he is making in his life.

This man is a Nike endorsed athlete although he doesn’t look like your typical athlete. But, it’s a testament to who he is, his infectious energy, and how powerful his past, present, and future are.

Right now, he’s biking across the USA in order to share his story and help others live the life they’re meant to live.

“It wasn’t me but I was able to connect the dots to make somebody’s life change. That’s something a lot of us can do.” Tweet That

–Charlie Jabaley

Show Highlights

  • How to turn your struggles into fuel
  • Why “war mode” isn’t always the best mode
  • How to realize your childhood dreams
  • How to work smarter, not harder
  • How to rally people around a cause
  • How to use imperfection to inspire others
  • The difference between eating “dead” and eating “alive”
  • Overcoming a negative mindset
  • What it means to train like an 8-year-old
  • Using fun and play as the metric for success
  • How to step away from something secure into the unknown

“I had faith amazing things would happen and it’s happening.” Tweet That

–Charlie Jabaley

Videos Mentioned


The Iron Council

I’ve said it before, and Charlie is reiterating it again for us today, but if you want something different out of your life, you’re going to have to do something different with your life.

Our brotherhood, the Iron Council, might just be that something different that you need to spark a lasting change in your life. Whether it’s losing weight, salvaging a marriage, connecting with your children, growing a business, or starting a new one, we have the tools, resources, guidance, accountability, and the brothers who will help you achieve what you’ve only been talking about up to this point.

If you want to learn how we’ve changed the lives of hundreds of men who have decided to band with us, I’d encourage you to head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil to learn more and claim your seat at the table.

It’s time to do something different. Band with 400 men who want to succeed and want to help you succeed. Join us at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“We’re going across the country making dreams come true but I want my dreams to come true as well.” Tweet That

–Charlie Jabaley

Connect with Charlie Jabaley

“I’m just going to be me and tell the truth because somebody out there is going to need it.” Tweet That

–Charlie Jabaley

The post Dreaming Big and Writing Your Own Story | Charlie Jabaley appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
All of us have a story. We all have a past. Our prior circumstances define who we are today but do not have to define who we will become moving forward. Too bad most of us never learn to rewrite the script. Today, All of us have a story. We all have a past. Our prior circumstances define who we are today but do not have to define who we will become moving forward. Too bad most of us never learn to rewrite the script. Today, I am joined by a friend and man who is impacting and … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 57:15
How we Stop School Shootings https://www.orderofman.com/how-we-address-school-shootings/ Fri, 25 May 2018 11:30:03 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4174 https://www.orderofman.com/how-we-address-school-shootings/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/how-we-address-school-shootings/feed/ 0 <p>Every time we turn around it seems like there’s yet another school shooting. And, from what I can see, we’re addressing this from a very surface-level perspective. This is not about gun control. This is not about gun regulation. In fact, I don’t even believe it’s fully a gun problem. I think it’s a symptom …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/how-we-address-school-shootings/">How we Stop School Shootings</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Every time we turn around it seems like there’s yet another school shooting. And, from what I can see, we’re addressing this from a very surface-level perspective. This is not about gun control. This is not about gun regulation. In fact, I don’t even believe it’s fully a gun problem. I think it’s a symptom of the problem but not the problem.

Obviously, it has to do with the young men who are creating these situations. But more so, we ought to put the responsibility where it truly lies, which is on us as men. I’m going to explain what I mean by that. Bear with me, because I think you’re going to agree at the end of this conversation that we’ve got a real problem with the way that we, as men, are showing up. And the symptom of that is school shootings and some of the other atrocities that we see in society today.

Before I get into the details, I do want to say again, this is not meant to be a gun debate but there are a couple of surface level issues that I do want to address first and foremost before we get deeper into this.

So, let’s begin by addressing how we physically protect our kids when they’re at school. There are some very simple solutions to this:

LIMITED ENTRY POINTS I see so many schools that are open. People can come in and out wherever, there’s no entry point, and there’s no stationary exit point. If we can limit entry points in schools, we can more easily regulate who is coming in, who is going out, where they’re going, what they’re doing, what they’re up to, and what their business is there. Having limited entry points to schools is going to solve a lot of these problems.

METAL DETECTORS If you have limited entry points, and you can put metal detectors at these entry and exit points, it’s likely you’ll catch and even deter any would-be shooter from entering a school with firearms in the first place.

That said, I am mixed on that because it’s difficult for me to think about my kids going to school and being on lockdown, and having metal detectors, and turning this into a policed school. That’s difficult for me to think about but I do believe that there’s validity to being able to protect our children in that way.

ARMED VETERANS This is a subject that has been brought up over, and over, and over again. America has spent billions and billions of dollars training military members. We have men and women who come home who have lost their purpose because they’re no longer in the military. Having a new mission – a new purpose – could potentially eliminate a lot of these problems right off the bat.

A bully goes for the weak target and we’ve allowed our schools to become the weak target. We’ve made them vulnerable to attacks and we’ve exposed our children to potential threats, including death.

So, how do you fix the problem? You stop making it an easy target. We do that by implementing limited entry points, metal detectors, and armed veterans in the school system.

CONCEALED CARRYING SCHOOL TEACHERS I would also suggest we consider allowing qualified school teachers to carry firearms – not forcing them to but allowing them to.

Now, like I said, I didn’t want to make this a gun debate. That’s not what it’s about, but I think those are four very simple solutions that we can implement fairly quickly that would alleviate a lot of the problems that we see.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s drill down a little bit.

Young boys are the ones who are creating these problems. They’re the ones in the school shootings. They’re the ones doing the shooting. And, if you look at the way that we have begun to treat our boys, I think it becomes very apparent that there are some real problems in the way that we address our boys in the school system.

First, the school system is stacked against young men. If you take a look at any metric – from crime and violence to grades and drop out rates – you see that boys are falling behind. That’s partly because the school system is not conducive to teaching boys the way that they need to be taught.

Surprise, surprise, there’s a difference between the way boys and girls learn information, consume information, and get ideas about the way this world works. If you have any doubt as to this being the case, go ahead and listen to my interview a couple of weeks back with Dr. Leonard Sax, or you can go read his books, Boys Adrift and Why Gender Matters, which highlight the problems in the school system.

Couple that with another problem I see, the drug epidemic with children. And, I’m not talking about illegal drugs either. I’m talking about the way we medicate our boys. Our boys get a little rambunctious, a little rowdy, a little upset, they fight, they compete, they do the things that boys do, and rather than say, “this is healthy behavior for a boy,” they say it’s unhealthy and begin to medicate them.

We were at the park last night with my boys and my daughter. One of my came up to me to show me a stick he found looked like a gun. He’s said, “Dad, look, I found this stick. It’s my gun.” Then he picked a handful of wood chips and said, “These are my bullets.” From there, he ran around “shooting” his brother and sister with his gun and his bullets.

If he did that at school he would be suspended, if not expelled, from school. And yet, that’s completely healthy behavior. There’s nothing wrong with a boy playing Cowboys and Indians. There’s nothing wrong with a boy who wants to pretend that he’s shooting the bad guy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with a young boy drawing a picture of a violent war scene.

Why? Because that’s the way they engage. That’s the way that they create. When those behaviors are channeled into the proper outlets, they become the skill set and the characteristics for boys who will eventually become men who protect, provide,  and preside.

If we strip that away from them and pretend there’s something wrong with them, we’re going to see some real problems. We are experiencing the real problems from over medicating our young men now. It’s horrific.

Instead of medicating our boys (and I’m not saying that there aren’t boys who need medication) for ADD and ADHD, why not create a system in which boys can learn the way they learn, through experiential learning? Let them go out and roll around in the dirt, hike, pick up bugs, explore rocks, and do the things that we as boys always wanted to do. If we strip that away, we see these problems.

The next issue here (and this is going to be the meat of the conversation today) is fatherless homes.

As I was researching this topic, I started looking into some of the data. What I found is absolutely crazy. The ramifications and impact on our young men of not having permanent father figures in their lives are scary.

I grew up without a permanent father figure. I get messages every day from men who listen to our podcast and read our articles that grew up without a father figure. This statistic is getting worse. More boys are being born out of wedlock. Dad is physically, mentally, and emotionally out of the picture. And, now, we have more boys who have this raw masculinity coursing through their veins and yet they have no example of how to harness that masculinity into something that’s called “manliness” that will actually help the world.

I look at my boys and by their very nature, they’re destructive. They go outside and they destroy stuff. It’s my job as a father to harness that and teach them how to use that in a constructive manner. Rather than be destructive, it’s my job to help them to be constructive – help them to build things, help them to lift other people up, help them to use that creativity and that imagination in a way that’s going to benefit their lives and the lives of the people that eventually they’ll have a responsibility for. They don’t get that when a father is not in the picture.

Take a look at some of the problems that are magnified when dad is not around:

  • Poverty
  • Behavioral problems
  • Prison time
  • Crime rates
  • Abuse and neglect
  • Drug and alcohol abuse
  • Drop out rates
  • Suicide

That’s eight factors that get worse statistically when a father is not in the home! If that doesn’t show you how important it is for fathers to be in the home, I don’t know what else I can tell you.

There are people that will argue with me about that. There are people that think that I’m attacking single mothers because I share that data (which is absolutely ridiculous). I was raised by a single mother. She did everything that she could to raise me and my sister. And yet, when I have conversations with her today, she will readily admit that she wasn’t able to provide me, on her own, with everything that I needed to transition from boy to man.

Fortunately, she recognized that early enough and got me involved in competitive sports. I learned a lot about what it meant to be a man on the football and the baseball field through my coaches (In fact, I just had one of my high school coaches on our podcast a couple weeks ago to talk about his impact).

This is not a gun problem. We can talk about that, sure, but it’s not a gun problem. It’s not even a young man problem. It’s a fatherhood problem. Plain and simple, it is a fatherhood problem.

So, how do we address this?

First (and I know this is going to upset people) if you aren’t in the space – mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially – to have kids, don’t. Why in the world would anyone bring a child into this world that they cannot possibly take care of?

Please notice I didn’t say “ready.” You can’t ever fully be ready to bring a child into this world but at least, to some degree, you have to be capable of providing for a child. And if you’re not, please do not bring a child into this world. It’s not fair to you, it’s not fair to that child, it’s not fair to society. Be responsible.

Second, we have got to be present for our kids. It’s not enough to provide financially for our children. It’s not enough to put money in the bank account. That’s an important component, no doubt, but it’s not enough. It’s not the full deal. It’s not the full definition of provision. When I talk about providing, I’m talking about physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I can see my boys (specifically, my oldest) struggling with how to behave, how to become a man, how a man acts, how a man interacts, how a father shows up, how a husband shows up, how a guy shows up in his community. I can see that in my son now. He’s 10 years old. If I’m not physically present providing an example for him, where does he learn that stuff?

Well, he learns it from athletes. He learns it on the news. He learns it from people on social media. He learns it from his friends who don’t have fathers. That’s where he gets his ideas of masculinity and manliness, and guess what? It’s not healthy.

The healthy way to provide an example for a child is to be the example for your child. Be there physically. Be there mentally. Get your own house in order. Get your own stuff situated so that when your boy comes to you with some challenges, or you recognize them in him, you have the capacity to do something about it.

If you can’t get yourself right because you’re fat, or overweight, or out of shape, or you have abuse issues, or your financial situation isn’t in order, or you’re depressed, or you’re not doing the things that you know you should be doing, how in the world are you ever going to provide what that young man needs in his life? How are you going to be the beacon he needs? How are you going to have the capacity to sit down, shoulder to shoulder, with your son and say, “You know what, I recognize something’s not right, bud. How can I help you? Here’s what I did. Here’s what I have experienced. Here’s what I went through. Here’s how I dealt with the things when I was wrong, or when I was off, or when I was going through what you are going through right now.” You can’t do that if you haven’t fixed yourself first.

Get yourself right, guys – emotionally as well. And that’s the last component I wanted to talk about here. Be available, emotionally. A lot of us have this macho/”alpha” idea of what it means to be a man. But it’s okay to express your emotions. It’s okay to be happy. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be an emotional person. You are a human being. We don’t need to hide our emotions. We don’t always need to express them, either. There needs to be a healthy balance between the way that we use our emotions to serve us and those that we have an obligation to serve.

So, when you recognize in your son that he’s dealing with a difficult time, whether he got rejected, failed the test, got cut from the team, went to a party, been exposed to pornography, got into drugs and alcohol, you can be empathetic to what he’s going through. You can be there the way that he needs you to be there so that he takes these experiences – positive and negative – and uses every single one of them to be a contributing member of this society.

Be there. Be present as a father.

The last thing I want to talk about is fathering other boys in the community. You have a responsibility for that, as do I. I see a lot of guys who are great with their kids, and yet when you ask them to volunteer to coach a sports team, or to step up in sort of leadership capacity, or serve in some sort of young men’s type organization, they won’t do it, or they can’t do it.

That’s a problem. You are not just the father in your home but you are also a father-figure in the community. You have an obligation to your community. You have a responsibility for your community. It’s not enough to father your home, you’ve got to father the community. That’s our job. That’s our responsibility.

If there’s an opportunity for you to coach your son’s team, take it. Not only is that an opportunity to forge a new bond with him, but it’s also an opportunity to forge a new bond with 20 other kids who need your help because they’re not growing up without fathers, because their dads aren’t listening to this podcast, because their dads aren’t around, because their dad is too busy working, and because maybe they don’t even know who their dad is.

We’ve been doing stepping up as men in the community thousands of years by operating in packs and tribes and serving each other and helping each other where we can, lifting each other up when we fall.

And yet, I look around in society and I see so many people who are absolutely consumed with themselves that they have no capacity to serve other people. It’s easy to do. I get it, you’re busy. I’m busy, I’ve got stuff to do. I’ve got my own stuff to take care of. And yet, if we can’t find a way to serve in the communities in which we live, we’re going to continue to see more and more horrific school shootings, violence, crime, drug abuse, neglect, and all of the things I talked about earlier.

I don’t have all the solutions, I certainly don’t. I’m figuring this stuff out just like you. I’m a young father, 37 years old, with four kids. I’m trying to make just as much sense out of this as anyone else.

But I can tell you that I look around in society and I see some very, very serious issues. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of my being, that if we can learn to be the type of men that we are called to be these problems may not go away, but I guarantee that we’ll make a dent, that we’ll make an impact, that we’ll see improvement. And, if we can compound those improvements over time, over, and over, and over again, generationally, we will see the change we know we need.

The post How we Stop School Shootings appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Every time we turn around it seems like there’s yet another school shooting. And, from what I can see, we’re addressing this from a very surface-level perspective. This is not about gun control. This is not about gun regulation. In fact, Every time we turn around it seems like there’s yet another school shooting. And, from what I can see, we’re addressing this from a very surface-level perspective. This is not about gun control. This is not about gun regulation. In fact, I don’t even believe it’s fully a gun problem. I think it’s a symptom … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 21:42
166: Why Men Should Compete | Jake Thompson https://www.orderofman.com/166-why-men-should-compete-jake-thompson/ Tue, 22 May 2018 11:33:44 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4162 https://www.orderofman.com/166-why-men-should-compete-jake-thompson/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/166-why-men-should-compete-jake-thompson/feed/ 0 <p>The ability to compete is such a critical component of our journey to develop masculinity and manliness. Too bad it’s often viewed as an unnecessary and antiquated way of operating by much of society. Heaven forbid we hold ourselves to a high standard and teach our children to keep score. My guest today, Jake Thompson, …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/166-why-men-should-compete-jake-thompson/">166: Why Men Should Compete | Jake Thompson</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

The ability to compete is such a critical component of our journey to develop masculinity and manliness. Too bad it’s often viewed as an unnecessary and antiquated way of operating by much of society. Heaven forbid we hold ourselves to a high standard and teach our children to keep score.

My guest today, Jake Thompson, Founder of Compete Every Day, makes the case for utilizing healthy competition as a critical factor in improving our lives. Today, we talk about why competition is so important, why executing to failure is so powerful, why losing does not necessarily equal “loser”, and why men should compete every day.

“I love competition because it teaches us about life but more importantly it creates opportunities for us to get outside of our comfort zone and reveal what we’re capable of.” Tweet That— Jake Thompson

Jake Thompson

My guest today is Jake Thompson. Jake and I met last year and an American Dream U event at Fort Sill, Oklahoma.

I had the privilege of hearing him speak about the power and importance of competition and new that I wanted to have a deeper discussion with him about the concept.

The word, competition, seems to have a negative connotation surrounding it but I think you know as well as I do how powerful competition can actually be.

In a world that likes to take it easy and shy away from keeping score, Jake is encouraging more people to do it through his organization, Compete Every Day, and as a speaker, author, and coach.

“Giving every kid a trophy sends the wrong message because when they’re older they believe they deserve a trophy regardless of how good or bad they’ve done.” Tweet That— Jake Thompson

Show Highlights

  • Why competition is important
  • How competition creates opportunities and builds capabilities
  • What separates those who grow with competition and those who self-destruct
  • How to compete at things that aren’t a competition
  • Why executing to failure is so important
  • Why losing does not equal “loser”
  • How to separate yourself from the pack
  • How to find and develop value in yourself and others
  • How to teach our children to use healthy competition for growth
  • Why men are uniquely desirous to keep score and how to use that to our advantage

“Unless you figure something out by doing it incorrectly, a lot of the times you don’t learn.” Tweet That— Jake Thompson

The Iron Council

On the subject of competition, I want to talk with you about the Iron Council. It’s been said that what gets measured, gets improved. That’s part of the reason that keeping score is so powerful. It gives you instant feedback on your performance.

I think we all inherently know this but very few of us are incorporating competition and keeping score into our lives. That’s actually a huge component of what we do inside the Iron Council.

This is a brotherhood of nearly 400 men who are all working together to push and motivate each other. But it goes so much deeper than that. We have a specific planning tool that will help you keep score in your own life so you have an objective look at your performance so you can improve.

We also have challenges that are issued each and every week and we will soon be competing against each other as teams within the Iron Council.

If you’re interested in learning more, head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“The real competition is with ourselves. Did I do my best today? If I didn’t, where did I fall short and how can I be better tomorrow?” Tweet That— Jake Thompson

Connect with Jake Thompson

“When you’re running a race, your body cannot physically run at top speed if you’re always looking to your left, your right, or behind you.” Tweet That— Jake Thompson

The post 166: Why Men Should Compete | Jake Thompson appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
The ability to compete is such a critical component of our journey to develop masculinity and manliness. Too bad it’s often viewed as an unnecessary and antiquated way of operating by much of society. Heaven forbid we hold ourselves to a high standard ... The ability to compete is such a critical component of our journey to develop masculinity and manliness. Too bad it’s often viewed as an unnecessary and antiquated way of operating by much of society. Heaven forbid we hold ourselves to a high standard and teach our children to keep score. My guest today, Jake Thompson, … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 46:20
Bridging the Integrity Gap https://www.orderofman.com/bridging-the-integrity-gap/ Fri, 18 May 2018 11:30:48 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4160 https://www.orderofman.com/bridging-the-integrity-gap/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/bridging-the-integrity-gap/feed/ 0 <p>There is a gap in most men’s lives and, in fact, I would argue in every man’s life. This gap represents what we know we should be doing versus the things that we’re actually doing. This is the integrity gap. The larger that gap is, the less fulfilled, the more unhappy, the more unpleasant, and …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/bridging-the-integrity-gap/">Bridging the Integrity Gap</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There is a gap in most men’s lives and, in fact, I would argue in every man’s life. This gap represents what we know we should be doing versus the things that we’re actually doing. This is the integrity gap. The larger that gap is, the less fulfilled, the more unhappy, the more unpleasant, and depressed you will be. The smaller that gap, the more fulfillment, satisfaction, joy, contentment, happiness, wealth, and prosperity will come into your life.

There was a time in my life roughly 10 years ago where I had a huge integrity gap in my life (again, the gap between what I knew I should be doing and what I was actually doing). Here’s the reality: Everybody that reads this, including you, knows what you should be doing.

If I were to ask anyone, “How do you lose weight?” 99.9% of people would say, “Well, I probably ought to eat a little bit better and exercise a little bit more.” If I were to ask how to build more wealth in your life, everybody out there would say, “I need to find a way to make more money and/or spend less money.”

These are not secrets. This is not rocket science here. Everybody knows what they should be doing, yet when you look around in society you can plainly see that many individuals are not living up to their potential. That’s the integrity gap. It’s knowing what you should be doing, and not doing it.

Living with this gap is the most unpleasant, unsatisfying, and miserable time in any person’s life. But rather than just tell you that there’s this big integrity gap and you need to figure out a way to bridge it (which you certainly do) I want to share with you a very simple formula that will help you bridge the gap.

HAVE A PLAN

First, you’ve got to know what you want. If I were to walk around on the street today and poll 100 men and say, “Tell me what you want,” most of them would say, “I want to be happy. I want to make a little bit more money. I want to live a happy life. I want to do some things that are exciting to me.” But, I would be willing to be there’d be very few, if any, that knew exactly what they wanted, that knew, “I want to make X amount of dollars,” that, “I want to lose this specific, like 20 or 30 pounds of weight,” or, “I want to do this marathon,” or, “Here’s the relationship I want, and here’s exactly what that looks like.”

The more clear that you can be about what you want out of your life, the more likely it is for you to achieve it. When you know what to say “yes” to, you also know what to say “no” to. There was a time when I had a very difficult time saying “no” to anything. I allowed the little things and distractors to come into my life and distract me from what I really wanted.

Sure, I was busy. Sure, I felt like I had done a ton of work, but at the end of the day, when I plopped my butt on the couch, I thought to myself, “What in the world did I even accomplish? I know I was busy, but where did my time ago?” If you’re feeling that way, it’s likely that you have no plan, that you have no clear direction, that you have no focus, you have no idea how you want to live your life, what that actually looks like, what specifically you’re trying to accomplish, what you should be saying “yes” to, and what you should be saying “no” to.

The first step in this formula is to make a plan. Very simply, know what you want. What do you want with the relationship with your spouse? What do you want the relationship with your children to look like? What do you want business opportunities to look like? What do you want this business to grow to? Do you want a promotion? What does that look like? Do you want to run a marathon? If you do, what type of individual will you need to become? Do you want to get stronger? Do you want to lose body fat? What specifically do you want? Write that stuff down, then refer to it each and every day so that it’s very, very clear, and it’s at the top of your mind.

DON’T LIE

Don’t lie to other people. Don’t lie to yourself. For example, if you hit snooze first thing in the morning but the night before, you had a plan to wake up on time well, you’re a liar. Every time you lie to yourself or somebody else a little piece of your soul dies. When you tell another person you’re going to do something or you tell yourself that this is how it’s going to be, and you don’t live up to that promise, you widen the integrity gap rather than bring that thing closer together.

I know it’s hard because each and every one of us gets into habits. We get into routines. We get into complacency. When I was in Iraq in 2005, we had a sign as we were leaving the gate, and it said, “Complacency Kills,” as in literal death. Now, I know that based on the day-to-day activities you have going on that you probably won’t die, but I think that there is a real threat to our livelihood, and our existence when we widen the gap by lying to ourselves about who we are, who we want to become, how we’re going to get there, and the work that’s actually required in order to achieve the results we’re after.

Stop lying to yourself. Stop lying to other people. Be true about who you are. Be true about what you’re experiencing. Be real with the expectations that you have of yourself. People like to ask, “Well, Ryan, how do I do this? How do I not hit snooze in the morning?” You just do it. You make the decision. I know you’re tired but you make the decision. You don’t hit snooze in the morning, you get your butt out of bed, and you go do the work that you had planned out the night before. Through that consistent action of doing it over and over and over again and not allowing those excuses to come up and not allowing yourself to lie, you get better at it, and discipline improves. Through that discipline, you start achieving what you want and bridging that gap of integrity.

SUCK IT UP

Just suck it up. Sometimes, you make a commitment, for example, that you aren’t excited about. Maybe a neighbor asks you to help them move, and you get to Saturday, and you’re thinking, “Man, I just want to relax. I’ve had a busy week, and I don’t really want to do anything.” Well, you made a commitment, and step number two is not to lie, so you get yourself up, go take care of your commitment, and then get back to relax.

The more that you do what you say you’re going to do, the more confidence that you earn because you begin to recognize that you’re becoming a man of your word, that you’re becoming somebody who can be relied upon, that you are proving to yourself that you can be trusted, that you are worth whatever it is that you’re after. If you continually break those commitments and you continue to lie to yourself and others what makes you think that you’re entitled to any level of confidence or any level of success?

I know a lot of guys who seem to believe that they’re entitled to success or entitled to other people’s beliefs. I’ve got news for you: you’re not entitled to that. That stuff is earned and it’s earned through sucking it up and following through on your commitments.

Here’s the other benefit of following through on your commitments: if they’re commitments that you don’t enjoy, and yet you follow through because you are a man of your word, you’ll learn not to make empty promises to yourself and other people so that you can focus the things that are important, and you aren’t bogged down with the things that you find trivial, boring, insignificant, or meaningless.

We’ve got to find ways to bridge this integrity gap.  It’s the worst feeling in the world. You may be asking yourself, “How is this my life? How is this my life? I’m not satisfied with where I am financially. I’m not satisfied with the relationship I have with my wife and kids. I’m not satisfied with my body or my business.” If that’s you, I’d be willing to bet that there’s a gap in your life between what you know you should be doing and what you’re actually doing.

I get questions all the time. “Ryan, how do I lose weight?” “How do I grow a business?” “How do I save my marriage?” “How do I do this?” “How do I do that?” I think more often than not, what guys are looking for is not the answer to that question but an excuse not to do what they already know they should be doing. They’re looking to me to give them that excuse.

I’m not going to give you that excuse. What I’m going to tell you to do is to get your butt up and do exactly what you know you should be doing. It’s not always easy, it’s not always comfortable, it’s not always fun. But I’ll tell you what is fun, I’ll tell you what is exciting, what is comfortable. It’s doing the things that you know you should be doing and reaping the benefit and reward.

What would life look like if you did everything you knew you should be doing in your relationship? What would your relationship look like? You’d be connected more deeply, physically, mentally, emotionally. What would your business look like if you did everything that you knew you should be doing? What would your body look like? What kind of car would you drive? What kind of house would you live in? What kind of friends would you have? Imagine that with me for a second because when you bridge that integrity gap, those are the things that are at your fingertips.

Let’s recap:

Number one, make a plan. Be specific. The more specific, the more tangible, the more actionable it can be, the better off you’re going to be. Make a plan so you know what to say “yes” to and what to say “no” to.

Number two, do not lie. Don’t lie to other people and, more importantly, do not lie to yourself. When you are a liar, you are out of integrity, and it’s no wonder you feel horrible. In fact, you probably should feel that way because you’re not doing what you should be doing. That said, don’t allow that guilt and sorrow to fester. Don’t let that be a negative experience for you. Use that guilt and that sorrow as fuel to do better moving forward.

Number three, suck it up. If you made commitments to other people and yourself, suck it up. Own it. Go do it. Go take care of it. If it’s something you don’t enjoy, don’t commit to it next time.

Guys, it’s not that difficult. All of us have the capacity to do it. It’s very simple. Sometimes, it’s a challenge. Again, sometimes, it’s not fun but if you truly want big things in your life, you’re going to have to do the work to get there, and part of that work is bridging the integrity gap.

The post Bridging the Integrity Gap appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There is a gap in most men’s lives and, in fact, I would argue in every man’s life. This gap represents what we know we should be doing versus the things that we’re actually doing. This is the integrity gap. The larger that gap is, the less fulfilled, There is a gap in most men’s lives and, in fact, I would argue in every man’s life. This gap represents what we know we should be doing versus the things that we’re actually doing. This is the integrity gap. The larger that gap is, the less fulfilled, the more unhappy, the more unpleasant, and … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 18:55
Crafting the Perfect Morning Routine https://www.orderofman.com/crafting-the-perfect-morning-routine/ Fri, 11 May 2018 11:30:05 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4150 https://www.orderofman.com/crafting-the-perfect-morning-routine/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/crafting-the-perfect-morning-routine/feed/ 0 <p>Today, I want to talk about such an important topic and one which is easy to overlook simply because we’ve all heard about it so often. That said, I believe establishing a healthy morning routine is one of the most important things you can do during your day as it really establishes the benchmark, the …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/crafting-the-perfect-morning-routine/">Crafting the Perfect Morning Routine</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Today, I want to talk about such an important topic and one which is easy to overlook simply because we’ve all heard about it so often. That said, I believe establishing a healthy morning routine is one of the most important things you can do during your day as it really establishes the benchmark, the framework, and the foundation for the way the rest of your day will go.

The reason that I think most people overlook (or can’t even stick to a morning routine) is because there’s so much advice about it already and we begin to believe that we have to pigeonhole ourselves into one way of doing it. Here’s what I’m here to tell you:  I’m going to share my morning routine. Now,  that doesn’t make it the morning routine. It simply means that it works for me. The most powerful thing if you can do with regards to your morning routine is to find something that works for you.

This is a process of experimentation. So, again, I’m going to share with you what works for me. If you like it, adopt it. If you don’t like it, don’t adopt it. If you like parts of it, adopt part of it. You get the idea.

WAKE UP

I get up at 5:30 AM. I don’t care you get up at 5:00 AM,  4:30 AM, 3:00 AM, or 6:00 AM. It’s all going to be different depending on what time you go to work. Just make sure you give yourself plenty of time in the morning to get the things done. I see so many guys rush to the day and think that they have to get up and get right to their day. They don’t give themselves adequate time to do the things that are important, significant, meaningful, and impactful in their life

So, for me, that means getting up at 5:30 in the morning.

HYDRATION

I’ve got my water bottle ready to go so that when I get up I can start hydrating. That hydration component of a morning routine is so important. If you think about it, you’ve spent hopefully 7-9 hours without any water so, the very first thing I do in the morning is hydrate and get the water intake up.

YOGA

I just started doing Yoga so, I’ll stretch out or do a Yoga program right after my hydration. I’ll tell you that my performance in the gym it has definitely increased as I’ve implemented a stretching regimen. Whether it’s Yoga or just stretching, it’s critical that you get the body moving right away. I do that for about 20-30 minutes before my wife gets home from the gym.

EXERCISE

One she gets home I get out the door and into the Crossfit gym at 6:00 AM. I personally participate in Crossfit 4-5 days per week and I also do Starting Strength 2 days per week. You’re probably familiar with both. I don’t care what works for you. I don’t care what program you do. There are going to be guys who hear this and think that Starting Strength is not the way to do it and Crossfit is not the way to do it.

They’ll tell me “People get injured” and “It’s dangerous.” Look, I’ve been doing Crossfit for four years. Frankly the only thing up until this point that has actually worked for me consistently. Again, it doesn’t matter to me what you do because the best exercise is going to be the one that works for you.

Having some sort of special program is wonderful. Having the data and science for proper exercise is important but if you’re not willing to do it, or you can’t do it, or you don’t want to do it, it’s not going to serve you. So, find an exercise regiment that works for you.

SCRIPTURE STUDY

Now, when I get done with my workout, I head home. By the time I get home, my kids are usually awake because my wife has them up and ready. We all meet downstairs for scripture study. We typically read from the Bible. A lot of people ask me what study guides or programs I use for scripture study. I don’t use any programs or anything like that. We simply read the Bible as a family.

MORNING PRAYER

Once we’re done with our scripture study, we have our morning prayer. There’s 5 of us in the family that are old enough to prayer so I pray on Mondays, my wife prays on Tuesdays, my oldest prays on Wednesdays, my next on Thursdays, and my third on Fridays.

FAMILY MEETING

One of the most important components of our morning routine is a family meeting.  Every morning we have a family discussion after exercise, Bible study, and morning prayer. This is an opportunity for us to get on the same page what are we doing that day, what things we are trying to accomplish, what practices we have, what schedules we have, and what dance recitals we need to worry about. This way, there is no guesswork with what we are all trying to accomplish and what each of our schedules look like individually.

FAMILY BREAKFAST

After all that is said and done, we get together around the table and have breakfast as a family. I believe that having meals together as a family is one of the most important bonding opportunities for a family. It allows us to know what they’re enjoying, what they’re doing, how school is going, if they’re running across any bullies, and talk about any problems our children may be having. We talk, we converse, we laugh, we have a good time, and set the foundation for us as a family and prioritize family in the wake of a very chaotic world in which we live.

MORNING FIVE

Once breakfast is done, we split up. My kids get ready by completing what we call their Morning 5: eat breakfast (which they’ve already completed), do their chores, get their clothes on, brush their teeth, and do something educational. All this has to be done by the time they leave for school.

DAILY PLANNING

Once the kids are out the door and I’m ready, the very first thing that I do when I get into the office is daily planning. Now, it would be very easy for me to get in the office and get right to emails or do any of the projects that I may have to do but taking 20-30 minutes for planning it so important. I plan out the day, I strategize, and I figure out where my priorities are before I start working. That planning is so so critical to me.

From there it’s a matter of executing and working my plan. My kids are at school. My wife is doing her stuff. But now we all have the proper framework and foundation for an effective day. I’ve spent a lot of time refining this routine and I’ve also got an evening routine (I’ll talk about that later).

Again, it’s waking up at 5:30 AM, hydrating very first thing, Yoga or some sort of stretching regimen, Crossfit or Starting Strength for an hour, scripture study, family prayer, family meeting, breakfast together, Morning Five and daily planning.

So there it guys, my perfect morning routine. I’ve been working at it over the course of years. I’ve refined it, honed it, tweaked it, and adjusted it. Experiment and find what works for you. It will take some time but the investment it time and energy in crafting the perfect morning routine will pay dividends the rest of your life.

The post Crafting the Perfect Morning Routine appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Today, I want to talk about such an important topic and one which is easy to overlook simply because we’ve all heard about it so often. That said, I believe establishing a healthy morning routine is one of the most important things you can do during yo... Today, I want to talk about such an important topic and one which is easy to overlook simply because we’ve all heard about it so often. That said, I believe establishing a healthy morning routine is one of the most important things you can do during your day as it really establishes the benchmark, the … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 18:49
A Man’s Responsibility to Future Generations | Matt Labrum https://www.orderofman.com/164-a-mans-responsibility-to-future-generations-matt-labrum/ Tue, 08 May 2018 11:30:36 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4138 https://www.orderofman.com/164-a-mans-responsibility-to-future-generations-matt-labrum/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/164-a-mans-responsibility-to-future-generations-matt-labrum/feed/ 0 <p>This one is special to me. As most of you know, I grew up without a permanent father figure in my life. I’ve mentioned in the past that there was a select group of men who helped mold and shape me into the man that I am today. I’m not sure there is another man …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/164-a-mans-responsibility-to-future-generations-matt-labrum/">A Man’s Responsibility to Future Generations | Matt Labrum</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

This one is special to me. As most of you know, I grew up without a permanent father figure in my life. I’ve mentioned in the past that there was a select group of men who helped mold and shape me into the man that I am today. I’m not sure there is another man in my young life who was as influential as my guest today. His name is Matt Labrum and he was my high school football and baseball coach.

Today, we talk about his influence in my life and thousands of other young men’s lives, the power of allowing kids to fail (including some failures of my own), why competitive sports are so valuable in a young man’s life, why he cut his entire team from the football program, and a man’s responsibility to future generations.

“As long as you have a swing, you have a chance.” Tweet That— Matt Labrum

Matt Labrum

Matt LabrumMen, I did this interview a little while ago and I’ve been anxiously waiting to release it to you. Every single one of us has some very influential people in our lives.

Today, I’m talking with probably the most influential man in mine, especially as a young boy learning to become a man. He is a high school educator. He has been teaching for more than two decades and, in addition to that, he is a high school baseball coach (when I was in school, he was the head football, basketball, and baseball coach).

He gained some national attention several years ago after cutting his entire football team from the program for grade and attendance issues, and how his team was showing up in the community and at school.

This is a man I admire and respect as he shaped a lot of who I was as a young man and who I am still becoming. He never took it easy on me. We talk about two experiences in particular during this conversation but I never doubted how much he cared about my progress and the progress of the boys under his care.

“I try to use sports as an avenue to help young people grow.” Tweet That— Matt Labrum

Show Highlights

  • The power of allowing kids to fail
  • Why competition is critical for young men
  • How winners continue to find a way to win
  • The politics of raising children and coaching
  • Pros and cons of coaching your own children
  • Our obligation as men to give back to future generations
  • How sports are about so much more than the game
  • Why one high school football coach cut his entire team
  • The difference between being a parent and being a defender
  • How to raise boys through the power of competitive sports

“We are definitely doing a disserve to the young people by not allowing them to fail, and for coddling them, and making excuses for them.” Tweet That— Matt Labrum

Exclusive Brotherhood, The Iron Council

Guys, part of the reason team sports are so valuable in a young man’s life is the band of brothers that he’s able to build. He’s able to learn and grow with other boys who want to succeed at the same level he does.

But for most of us, that team camaraderie and brotherhood goes away after high school. That doesn’t mean it isn’t’ as important as it once was. It just means that we get busy with life and forget to build a new band of brothers.

This is why I created the Iron Council. This is a brotherhood of men working together to achieve big results in their lives. You’re going to band with other men who are succeeding and some who are still trying to find their way.

If you’re missing a tribe – a group of men – who will push you, motivate you and inspire you to do bigger and better things with your life, I’d encourage you to join us inside the Iron Council.

Head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil to learn about what we’re up to and claim your seat at the table.

“Nothing stays the same. Everything changes all the time. What are you going to do to be successful?” Tweet That— Matt Labrum

Connect with Matt Labrum

“If the parent will parent instead of being the defender, great things will happen.” Tweet That— Matt Labrum

The post A Man’s Responsibility to Future Generations | Matt Labrum appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
This one is special to me. As most of you know, I grew up without a permanent father figure in my life. I’ve mentioned in the past that there was a select group of men who helped mold and shape me into the man that I am today. This one is special to me. As most of you know, I grew up without a permanent father figure in my life. I’ve mentioned in the past that there was a select group of men who helped mold and shape me into the man that I am today. I’m not sure there is another man … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 52:55
The Folly of “Zero Fu*ks Given” https://www.orderofman.com/the-folly-of-zero-fuks-given/ Fri, 04 May 2018 11:30:39 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4134 https://www.orderofman.com/the-folly-of-zero-fuks-given/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-folly-of-zero-fuks-given/feed/ 0 <p>You’ve likely heard of the phrase “zero fu*ks given.” While I can understand to a degree what anyone may be saying when they use that term, I can’t help but see the mistake in that line of thinking – especially for men. Your job is the exact opposite of that sentiment. Your job is to …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-folly-of-zero-fuks-given/">The Folly of “Zero Fu*ks Given”</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

You’ve likely heard of the phrase “zero fu*ks given.” While I can understand to a degree what anyone may be saying when they use that term, I can’t help but see the mistake in that line of thinking – especially for men. Your job is the exact opposite of that sentiment. Your job is to care about a lot, and be a man of value in the walls of your home, inside your business, and out in your community.

But if you walk around with a chip on your shoulder and take the stance that everyone else should leave you alone and there’s nothing you should really care about, I’ve got to think you’re missing a big element of what it means to be a man. Not to mention, you’re limiting your potential and the potential of those around you.

Look at our motto (which is so much more than a motto), protect, provide, preside. All three of those factors or responsibilities have an element of service. That’s our job as men – to serve.

Now, look, I get it, there are certain things that you probably shouldn’t care about. There are certain people you shouldn’t listen to. It’s extremely important that we inventory every facet of our lives and ask ourselves what should and shouldn’t be included. But this “zero effs” mentality seems to be different than that. From my perspective, it seems to be little more than tough talk from men who don’t understand the value in caring about certain things.

Take opinions for example. Now, again, I know not everyone’s opinion is relevant but some are. If I recognize that someone has an opinion worth listening to, I’m going to listen. Even if someone disagrees with me, I think there’s value in listening and striving to understand before you completely dismiss the disagreeing party as an idiot or that you don’t really care what he or she has to say.

Even the so-called “haters” of the world can simply be ignored. When you give a response, negative or positive, you attract more of that in your life. I’m not interested in attracting negativity.

So, rather than get mad and offended and resort to childish answers, simply qualify the source of information. Is the person sharing this feedback credible? If the answer is ‘no’, move on. If the answer is ‘yes’, you can probably make a case to listen.

Evaluating critical feedback even has value for me. It does one of two things: it further enhances my belief about my current perspective or opens it up to broader horizons and options. Both scenarios are a win.

Besides, automatically dismissing valuable information that could serve you, weakens your position. And, of course, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.

In some of the events that we run, we have attendees do a plank challenge. The challenge is designed to see how long any one participant can hold their plank. Among the top reasons for participants dropping out of their plank is that is “stupid” or “irrelevant” or “unimportant” to what they want in life.

That couldn’t be further from the truth. If you can’t do a simple plank challenge without conjuring up the excuse that it’s stupid when it gets a little challenging, what makes you think you’re going to be able to stick with a marriage when it gets tough, or a business when it takes longer to build than you thought it would, or your fitness regimen when you don’t see the results as quickly as you had hoped for?

The truth is it all matters. Again, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.

Now, look, there may be some activities that you truly don’t care about. I get that. And, you shouldn’t be expected to or participate in every possible task, conversation, project, or event you could ever be part of.

But I believe the better first response is one of consideration. Why not consider the project or opinion before dismissing it?

I like to use sports as an example because it’s such a great metaphor for life. If, when I was playing football, I completely dismissed another team because “I don’t care what they’re going to do, we’re going to destroy them,” I open myself up to the very real likelihood of inadequately training for and preparing for the game. We know how that will turn out.

Ryan Holiday covers this at length in his book, Ego is the Enemy. Our arrogance has a way of becoming our own worst enemy. It opens up all sorts of blind spots and the potential loss that comes with it.

I believe the “zero fu*ks mentality” does not come from a position of growth and expansion. It comes from a place of close-mindedness and arrogance. I don’t need to beat my chest and tell everyone how little I care about life.

I did that as a child when I wanted the approval of my friends. And, I guess more than anything, that’s the point I’m making. This mentality is rooted in insecurity and a position of scarcity. Basically, you’re saying “I want people to think I don’t care so I’m going to yell it as loudly and obnoxiously as I can.” Isn’t that a little ironic? If you feel the need to tell people you don’t care, you actually do.

And, what’s wrong with caring anyway? I care about an infinite number of things in my life. I care about my family. I care about my community. I care about this movement. I care about the state of affairs for men. I care about this country. I care about putting food on the table. I care about people I’ve never met. I even care about those who disagree with me.

That doesn’t make you weak or, my personal favorites, a “cuck” or a “beta.” It makes you a man of value because, if you care about those things, you’re going to invest time, energy, and resources into those things. And, whenever you invest your energy into something worthwhile, it has a way of returning to you.

If there are things that I genuinely do not care about, I simply dismiss them, free up my bandwidth for more important matters, and drive on. No need to tell people how little I care. I just don’t have time for it because I’m more focused on the things that I do.

Now, some people may dismiss this information and tell me I’m blowing this way out of proportion. I disagree. Words matter. They’re powerful. When we were boys, we always heard the adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” It’s cute (and there’s a point to be made there, but generally, it’s just not true. Again, words are powerful. They’ve been used to form world-changing partnerships, start and end wars, communicate and express love to the people you care about, build businesses, and just about any other worthwhile endeavor you could possibly think about.

It’s been said that the complexity of our language is one of the very things that make us human in the first place. And, if it really has that much relevance to who we are as a species, I think it’s safe to assume it’s powerful.

I’ll end on this: If language is that powerful (powerful enough to do all those wonderful and, unfortunately, horrific things I talked about), then isn’t it safe to assume that our own brains process the things we say in very much the same way? If you keep telling yourself you don’t care and “zero effs” this and “zero effs” that, what signals are you sending to your brain about the amount of effort you put into the things you say you do care about? Something to consider.

The post The Folly of “Zero Fu*ks Given” appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
You’ve likely heard of the phrase “zero fu*ks given.” While I can understand to a degree what anyone may be saying when they use that term, I can’t help but see the mistake in that line of thinking – especially for men. You’ve likely heard of the phrase “zero fu*ks given.” While I can understand to a degree what anyone may be saying when they use that term, I can’t help but see the mistake in that line of thinking – especially for men. Your job is the exact opposite of that sentiment. Your job is to … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 14:39
163: The True Cost of Liberty | Braxton McCoy https://www.orderofman.com/163-the-true-cost-of-liberty-braxton-mccoy/ Tue, 01 May 2018 11:30:21 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4120 https://www.orderofman.com/163-the-true-cost-of-liberty-braxton-mccoy/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/163-the-true-cost-of-liberty-braxton-mccoy/feed/ 0 <p>Guys, if you listen to just one of my podcast, please make it be this one. Today, I am joined by my friend and fellow soldier, Braxton McCoy. He and I served in Iraq together in 2005-2006. One day we were playing softball together and the next day, I hear he’s been hit by a …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/163-the-true-cost-of-liberty-braxton-mccoy/">163: The True Cost of Liberty | Braxton McCoy</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Guys, if you listen to just one of my podcast, please make it be this one. Today, I am joined by my friend and fellow soldier, Braxton McCoy. He and I served in Iraq together in 2005-2006. One day we were playing softball together and the next day, I hear he’s been hit by a suicide bomber with multiple fractures and life-threatening injuries to himself and others. I didn’t fully realize the extent of his injuries until this interview.

This one is raw, it’s truthful, and it’s extremely insightful when it comes to one soldier’s perspective of war, responsibility, obligation, and liberty. We talk about the truths and fallacies of PTSD, overcoming the demons of war, how a near-death experience changes your perspective, and the true cost of liberty.

“Life is suffering. That’s what it is. My suffering is no more or lese than the next guy’s. It’s just different.” Tweet That— Braxton McCoy

Braxton McCoy

Braxton McCoyGentlemen, as I mentioned before, I have my friend and fellow soldier, Braxton McCoy on the show today.

We’ve lost touch over the past 10 years or so since we served together in Iraq but when I found out he had written a book about our experience and, more specifically, his experience in Iraq, I knew that this would make for a powerful conversation.

After more than a decade of physical therapy and more surgeries than I care to think about, Braxton has regained most of his strength and rebounded emotionally from an extremely traumatic situation.

He has twice served as National Advocate for the Army Wounded Warrior Program, and twice as Veterans’ Advocate for the Coalition of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans in the District of Columbia. His four years as an advocate were focused on getting veterans back to work, as a meaningful way to outflank Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

In 2013, Braxton McCoy started Warrior Employment Project, a non-profit designed to connect veteran families-in-need with CEO’s and CIO’s leading to the veterans’ employment.

“By accepting [suffering], you defeat it. And, that’s the only way to defeat it.” Tweet That— Braxton McCoy

Show Highlights

  • The true and great cost of liberty
  • One soldier’s story of surviving a suicide bomber
  • The truths and fallacies of PTSD
  • Overcoming the demons of war
  • Finding new purpose in life
  • Why heroic soldiers don’t consider themselves heroes
  • The power of writing down your thoughts and stories
  • Living for yourself and others
  • The after-effects of surviving a near-fatal suicide bomber
  • The power of responsibility and obligation
  • How near-death changes your perspective

“I have been the guy who has destroyed his life because I could accept the psychological impacts of tragedy.” Tweet That— Braxton McCoy

The Glass Factory

Exclusive Brotherhood, The Iron Council

Gentlemen, if there’s one thing I know it’s that having other men to lean on, rely on, and lift up is an extremely powerful way to speed up the results you’re after. Yes, you can go at life alone and, you might just make it. But, at what cost?

Could you have achieved health, business expansion, relationship success, financial security quickly and more efficiently with the help of other men who know the way? The answer is yes.

But most men aren’t willing to invest in themselves even to the slightest degree. Sure, they’ll listen to the podcast, read a few books here and there, then do absolutely nothing with the information they have learned.

If that isn’t you, I’d encourage you to band with me and 380 other men inside the Iron Council so you can gain the framework, the guidance, the direction, and the accountability from high-achieving men across all facets of life.

To learn more, head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“I wasn’t afraid of dying but I wasn’t sure what it meant to die.” Tweet That— Braxton McCoy

Connect with Braxton McCoy

“Every night, I say what I consider my version of prayer and I just say ‘thank you.’ I don’t ever ask for anything. I just hug my son and say ‘thank you’ because I’ve blessed with more than I could have ever dreamed of when I was laying there dying.” Tweet That— Braxton McCoy

The post 163: The True Cost of Liberty | Braxton McCoy appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Guys, if you listen to just one of my podcast, please make it be this one. Today, I am joined by my friend and fellow soldier, Braxton McCoy. He and I served in Iraq together in 2005-2006. One day we were playing softball together and the next day, Guys, if you listen to just one of my podcast, please make it be this one. Today, I am joined by my friend and fellow soldier, Braxton McCoy. He and I served in Iraq together in 2005-2006. One day we were playing softball together and the next day, I hear he’s been hit by a … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 1:02:20
Leaders are Readers https://www.orderofman.com/leaders-are-readers/ Fri, 27 Apr 2018 11:30:15 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4126 https://www.orderofman.com/leaders-are-readers/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/leaders-are-readers/feed/ 0 <p>Some of the greatest men the world has ever known are voracious readers. Teddy Roosevelt was said to read a book every morning. General James Mattis is said to have a library of over 600 books. Bill Gates reads a book a week. Mark Cuban reads for 3 hours every day. Elon Musk was once …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/leaders-are-readers/">Leaders are Readers</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Some of the greatest men the world has ever known are voracious readers. Teddy Roosevelt was said to read a book every morning. General James Mattis is said to have a library of over 600 books. Bill Gates reads a book a week. Mark Cuban reads for 3 hours every day. Elon Musk was once asked how he learned to build rockets, to which he replied, “I read books.”

Now, I’m not suggesting that by simply reading books, you will achieve the types of results these men have achieved but, reading and acquiring new knowledge through the written word is something that seems to be a common thread line through most, if not all, successful people.

Today, I’ll share with you why that is and I’ll also be issuing you a challenge we’re going to be holding over the next 30 days.

READERS ARE RATIONAL

It seems that more and more, people are completely irrational when it comes to their ideas about how this world works. We base our beliefs and decisions on how we feel and our opinions rather than objective truth.

Readers by the very action of them reading expose themselves to new thoughts and ideas which naturally triggers the ability to think differently about previously held beliefs. Rather than spend so much time and energy trying to defend their current ideas, they are in constant search of new ones and through the nature of exploring ideas, solidify their current beliefs or find new, more effective ones to replace them.

READERS HAVE A WIDE PERSPECTIVE

Let’s face it. We all live in a box. This box is the box we create. I am more guilty of this than anyone else. I see the world through my lens and jump to the conclusion that it must be the only way in which people should operate.

I understand this about myself and am on a constant journey toward expanding my horizons and striving to see things from a new perspective. This, in turn, allows me to be more empathetic to others and see a world I had previously closed myself off to.

This does a couple things. First, I am much more capable of connecting with others when I see that they may look at the world differently than I do. Connection is a huge part of being a man. It makes us more influential which allows us to lead more effectively. Second, it allows me to hold more conviction in my own way of looking at things. Think about a defense attorney. Sure, his job is to come up with an effective defense strategy but a large part of that is putting himself in the position of the prosecution so he can adequately prepare himself for the opposition.

READERS ARE CREATIVE

Creativity is one of the most powerful forces for success. It’s been said that there are no new ideas, only old ideas repackaged, repurposed, connected differently. If that’s true, the best way to create different results is to expose yourself to new information.

I’ll admit that I don’t read a lot of fiction but I’m always surprised that when I do, I find parallels to my life and the problems I see that I have not previously seen or thought of.

As men, we are problem-solving machines. Your ability to think creatively about the problems you see could spell the difference between failure and success.

READERS HAVE AN ABILITY TO FOCUS

In the fast-paced world in which we live, it would do us all well to learn how to focus on one thing at a time. Most of have what has been dubbed “bright, shiny object syndrome.” We get excited about something then see something more appealing and forget all about the thing we were excited about just 24 hours ago.

The skill of focus is a very translatable skill. It will help you be a more successful husband, father, business owner, coach, friend, neighbor, employee, etc. And, the only way to become more focused is to practice focus. This is why I like to read physical books (some prefer digital books). Some people say that listening to books is just as good. I disagree. It may be effective in acquiring new information but acquiring new information isn’t the only reason to read.

To me, reading is a form of meditation that forces me to sit still for longer periods of time and focus on just one thing – the message – at a time. The more I read the more focused I can be for sustained periods of time.

READERS COMMUNICATE IDEAS WELL

Our ability to communicate and articulate our ideas well is paramount to the success of those ideas. I’ve met people with incredible ideas and absolutely no ability to share those ideas successfully. On the other hand, I’ve heard some incredibly horrible ideas and seen the men who present them have such an ability to communicate well that they take off.

Having a good idea is important. But without the ability to communicate them well, you’re dead in the water.

And, as with anything, if you want to be successful at something, find someone who is succeeding in that area and do what they do.

We have the ability through books to tap into the minds of the most successful communicators the world has ever known: Winston Churchill, Teddy Roosevelt, Martin Luther King Jr. Socrates, Billy Graham, Ronald Reagan, and Abraham Lincoln, to name just a few.

Read their works, pour over their words, study how they articulated their ideas, and put them into practice.

READERS RECOVER THROUGH THE PRACTICE OF READING

Reading is relaxing, bottom line. We live in a world where it’s constantly in “go” mode. I know this because I pride myself on being a high-achieving man. I’m sure you do as well otherwise you wouldn’t be here. So, if you’re anything like me, you have the desire, and feel the need, to be doing something constantly.

That said, there is value in stopping and slowing down from time to time. If you’re constantly redlining, you will burn out and burn up your engine. You have to relax from time to time. You have to recharge and refuel. You have to shut it down now and again. Reading has been a great way for me to do just that.

READERS ARE INFORMED

There is so much information out there in the world. Through the use of social media, magazines, books, movies, TV, etc. we have access to information unlike the world has ever known. It is amazing how much information we can consume and it’s critical that we do. We need to be careful not to overconsume and never put into practice what we have discovered but how much more powerful could we be if we could discuss ideas from a position of understanding rather than ignorance.

If you don’t know something, Google it, read about it, get some information on the subject. Being informed is one of the most powerful ways to build influence. One of the people I admire most when it comes to being informed is Joe Rogan. It is amazing to me how much he knows about a wide range of topics. When I listen to him talk with a guest on his podcast, I am always blown away by his understanding of topics I know nothing about. He’s just one example of someone who is obviously well-researched and it’s no wonder his podcast is one of the largest podcasts in the world.

So, there you have it. Readers are rational, have a wide perspective, are creative, have a great ability to focus, communicate ideas well, recover efficiently, and are informed. Of course, there is so much more to it than that but if that doesn’t convince you to read more, I don’t know what will.

That said, we’re in the middle of an Order of Man Readathon right now. If you head to my Instagram profile, you can see what we’re up to. Until May 24th, 2018, you can post a book you’ve completed between now and then and use the hashtag #OOMreadathon and tag me @ryanmichler and you’ll automatically be entered in to receive a book bundle I’m going to be giving away the end of May. And, the more people you tag during our readathon, the more chances you’ll have to win a book bundle. Again, head to www.instagram.com/ryanmichler, post a book as you finish it for the next 30 days, use the hashtag #OOMreadathon, and tag your friends for our book giveaway.

The post Leaders are Readers appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Some of the greatest men the world has ever known are voracious readers. Teddy Roosevelt was said to read a book every morning. General James Mattis is said to have a library of over 600 books. Bill Gates reads a book a week. Some of the greatest men the world has ever known are voracious readers. Teddy Roosevelt was said to read a book every morning. General James Mattis is said to have a library of over 600 books. Bill Gates reads a book a week. Mark Cuban reads for 3 hours every day. Elon Musk was once … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 15:50
Building a Thriving Tribe https://www.orderofman.com/building-a-thriving-tribe/ Fri, 20 Apr 2018 11:30:48 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4107 https://www.orderofman.com/building-a-thriving-tribe/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/building-a-thriving-tribe/feed/ 0 <p>I want to talk with you about building a thriving tribe. Now, this may be a conversation geared towards those who are working to build their own business/social media tribes like we’ve done here but, really, it’s for any man who wants to lead. And, all men are leaders. So, whether you’re leading a tribe …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/building-a-thriving-tribe/">Building a Thriving Tribe</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I want to talk with you about building a thriving tribe. Now, this may be a conversation geared towards those who are working to build their own business/social media tribes like we’ve done here but, really, it’s for any man who wants to lead. And, all men are leaders.

So, whether you’re leading a tribe of hundreds of thousands that spans the entire planet (like we are here), or you’ve been tasked with leading a new project at work, or you’ve got a wife and children to protect, provide, and preside for, or you’re a coach or school teacher, or in the military, or going to school, we all have tribes to lead. Today, I’m going to walk you through a few key insights that have helped me build this tribe significantly larger and more significant than I ever could have imagined.

CARE ABOUT YOUR TRIBE

It’s a shame I even need to mention this but I bring it up first for a reason. If you don’t care about your tribe, you will never succeed (at least not in the long term). Sure, you might be able to trick a few people into believing you have their best interest at heart but I can assure you that, unless you do, you will be found out.

Put your tribe’s needs at the forefront of your mind. Really have a desire to help and see them win in a way that’s important to them. If you can’t do that, at a minimum, nothing else I share with you today will matter.

KNOW THEIR CONCERNS

Your job as a leader is to address the concerns of your tribe but in order to do that, you have to know what concerns they have. What are your people’s pain points? What are they struggling with? What solutions are they after? How do they define success?

Take a look at the most influential leaders in history and you’ll quickly recognize that their ability solve their tribe’s problems put them at the front of the pack. Whether you’re referring to Martin Luther King, Jr. Steve Jobs, Gandhi, George Washington, Jesus Christ, Henry Ford, Bill Gates, Winston Churchill and even Hitler, they all had the ability to solve the concerns of the people they were leading (although I would add that Hitler violated the first rule I mentioned a minute ago as well as many others).

If you want to lead effectively, know your tribe’s concerns and address them accordingly.

SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE

Let’s take a lesson out of the Order of Man playbook. One of the most common comments I receive when I make a post or publish an article about masculinity is “well, this applies to women too.” Of course, it does! There is a lot that I talk about that is universal to both men and women. Not all of it, but a lot of it.

But I don’t talk about it from the context of appealing to women. Why? Well, it’s not because I don’t like women, or that I want to alienate them, or that I think less of women (like some people believe of me). It simply means that I have the desire to share some universal truth and information in a way in which it will resonate with men. Men are my audience. Sure, women listen to the podcast too but men are my audience. So, I speak in a way that will connect with men.

Now, some people will say that’s disingenuous or manipulative. That’s not true at all. In fact, if anything, it should be taken as a compliment. I care so much about my audience that I craft and deliver a message so that it connects with the people I’m working to serve.

The burden of articulating a message falls upon me, the deliverer of that message, not on the receiver of the message.

So, if you aren’t getting any traction with your family, or co-workers, or employees, or clients, I’d have you consider that maybe you aren’t speaking their language.

BE RUTHLESSLY CONSISTENT

It is amazing how distracted we have become as individuals. You’ve heard it been called “bright, shiny object syndrome.” How often have you been hopped up and excited to start some new venture only to wake up the next morning with absolutely zero desire to follow through on it? If you’re like me, it happens all the time.

Look, if you want to succeed at building a thriving tribe, you have to be consistent in your actions over years and years and years, long after the thrill of a new venture wears off.

This is the single greatest differentiating factor between our organization, Order of Man and the dozens if not hundreds of other “movements” around men that started around the same time. I’m not smarter, better connected, more capable, well-financed. I’m just really good at being robotic about the actions I take to build a movement. That’s it.

Every single day you have to do the work required to succeed. If you miss a day, make up for it. The worst thing you can is let your inactions compound. That’s where people start to quit.

This is the most simplistic advice I can give you: be consistent. It’s simple. Don’t overthink it. Don’t complicate it. Just be consistent and have faith the results will follow.

BECOME A TRIBESMAN

I want you to take a look at my life for a second. Think about the truck I drive. Think about the dog I own (German Shepherd). Imagine the glorious beard I have. Think about what I do for fun (Crossfit, hunting, and woodworking). What clothes do I wear? How do I communicate? What is my background?

Everything I do is very masculine. I am a member of my tribe. Period. If I can’t become the best member of my tribe, what right do I have in leading it? If you are not literally living the highest version of what you’re asking your tribe to do, you will not gain the admiration and respect of those you wish to lead.

There’s an old, outdated, antiquated way of leading. That is that you position yourself at the top at cut yourself off from the tribe. That may have worked when access to you and information was limited. Now, we all have access to the same information and opportunities. There is no barrier to entry for just about anything you or someone may want to do. That’s why it’s critical you find another way to lead. And, it has nothing to do with the secret formula we all know you don’t possess and everything to do with how you are the flagbearer for your tribe. It’s about being an example. It’s about living in integrity to yourself and the people you lead.

I know I didn’t share anything ground-breaking with you today. I know that because I’m telling you the truth. If I told you something you’ve’ never heard before, I’d urge you to be skeptical about what I’m sharing. But here’s the catch: some of you are going to think that this message is so simplistic that you’re going to overlook the simple truths I’m sharing. I’ve turned this business and movement into multiple six-figures using the five strategies I shared with you. I’ve become a leader in my home, I’ve become a leader of my family, I’ve become a leader of myself by using these five strategies – nothing more, nothing less.

If you want to lead, you’ll take what I shared with you today to heart. Learn it, live it, internalize it, be it and you too will create a thriving tribe.

The post Building a Thriving Tribe appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I want to talk with you about building a thriving tribe. Now, this may be a conversation geared towards those who are working to build their own business/social media tribes like we’ve done here but, really, it’s for any man who wants to lead. And, I want to talk with you about building a thriving tribe. Now, this may be a conversation geared towards those who are working to build their own business/social media tribes like we’ve done here but, really, it’s for any man who wants to lead. And, all men are leaders. So, whether you’re leading a tribe … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 11:43
161: Saved From Success | Dale Partridge https://www.orderofman.com/161-saved-success-dale-partridge/ Tue, 17 Apr 2018 11:30:31 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4084 https://www.orderofman.com/161-saved-success-dale-partridge/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/161-saved-success-dale-partridge/feed/ 0 <p>Today, we talk about something we’ve never directly addressed on this podcast, God. Now, before you tune me out based on that word alone, I believe that regardless of what you believe, there is something to be learned in every conversation and every experience. That’s why, when my friend, Dale Partridge reached out to talk …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/161-saved-success-dale-partridge/">161: Saved From Success | Dale Partridge</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Today, we talk about something we’ve never directly addressed on this podcast, God. Now, before you tune me out based on that word alone, I believe that regardless of what you believe, there is something to be learned in every conversation and every experience.

That’s why, when my friend, Dale Partridge reached out to talk about his new book, Saved From Success, I knew I needed to have him on. At the risk of losing a few listeners and receiving a few disapproving emails, I thought this was a conversation worth having. We talk about Dale’s definition of success compared to much of society’s, why men are hesitant to surrender to a higher power, how to develop a life of significance and meaning, and how all of us can be saved from success.

“I felt God was saying ‘I want you to know what it feels like to be hopeless for a moment so that you can understand and empathize with the people you’re going to walk to.'” Tweet That— Dale Partridge

Dale Partridge

Dale PartridgeToday, I have the honor of introducing you to my friend and repeat guest, Dale Partridge. I had him on the show in June of last year to talk about turning your passion into your profession.

About a month or so ago, he reached out to me regarding his new book and I thought it would make for an interesting conversation.

For those of you who may not know, Dale is an extremely successful entrepreneur and the founder of Startup Camp, which teaches aspiring entrepreneurs the ropes when it comes to building businesses.

I’ve been following him and his message for a long time and we’ve managed to build a friendship through our mutual work in calling men to step up to be men in their homes, their communities, their business, and every other facet of their lives.

“Culture’s distorted definition of success will leave you vacant, broken, and washing up against the rocks of an empty glass.” Tweet That— Dale Partridge

Show Highlights

  • How Dale defines success versus much of society
  • Why men are hesitant to “surrender” to a higher power
  • Specific money rules all men should learn to follow
  • What does it mean to be “mature” and how to develop it
  • Why we’ve become a culture where our youth are worshipped
  • How a man begins to believe in God
  • Where morality comes from
  • Why the fear of death can be both a positive and negative
  • Overcoming the “Gap of Integrity”
  • How to develop a life of significance and meaning
  • Why society views children as nothing more than a hindrance
  • Becoming more influential, the right way
  • What it truly means to be free

“Is culture’s definition of success something to seek after or something to be saved from?” Tweet That— Dale Partridge

Saved From Success

Exclusive Brotherhood, The Iron Council

If you haven’t’ heard of the Iron Council by now, you might just be missing out on just one critical component to becoming more successful in every area of your life – a band of brothers.

I think it would be hard to find a man who didn’t believe that having a core group of motivated, ambitious men around him would help him level up his life. That said, I think it would be extremely easy to find a man who hasn’t done it.

The fact of the matter is, it’s hard, it takes time, and a lot of energy to find other men who have the same desire to grow as you do. And, that’s where the Iron Council comes in. This is a brotherhood, a group of men, committed to doing a lot more than talk about what they want, they’re actively working towards it in four main areas of their lives: Calibration, Connection, Condition, and Contribution.

When you band with us, we’ll give you access to the tools, the resources, and the framework to make more money, connect deeply with the people you care about, learn who you are and how you best show up, and every other goal and ambition you may have.

To join us, head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“We define if something is true based on confirmations, accuracies, reason, and harmonies.” Tweet That— Dale Partridge

Connect with Dale Partridge

“Just because something is common does not mean it’s normal.” Tweet That— Dale Partridge

The post 161: Saved From Success | Dale Partridge appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Today, we talk about something we’ve never directly addressed on this podcast, God. Now, before you tune me out based on that word alone, I believe that regardless of what you believe, there is something to be learned in every conversation and every ex... Today, we talk about something we’ve never directly addressed on this podcast, God. Now, before you tune me out based on that word alone, I believe that regardless of what you believe, there is something to be learned in every conversation and every experience. That’s why, when my friend, Dale Partridge reached out to talk … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 48:18
Building a Tribe, Developing Confidence, and the Drive for Better https://www.orderofman.com/building-tribe-developing-confidence-drive-bigger-better/ Fri, 13 Apr 2018 11:30:05 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4091 https://www.orderofman.com/building-tribe-developing-confidence-drive-bigger-better/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/building-tribe-developing-confidence-drive-bigger-better/feed/ 0 <p>On this week’s Friday Field Notes I answer questions from the men in our Facebook Group: How do you find a new tribe when the current tribe becomes complacent? What is the best way to build a new network when you have moved across country/state and you truly don’t know anyone? What are some of …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/building-tribe-developing-confidence-drive-bigger-better/">Building a Tribe, Developing Confidence, and the Drive for Better</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

On this week’s Friday Field Notes I answer questions from the men in our Facebook Group:

  • How do you find a new tribe when the current tribe becomes complacent?
  • What is the best way to build a new network when you have moved across country/state and you truly don’t know anyone?
  • What are some of the best methods for instituting discipline in your life when you’ve formed a habit of being undisciplined?
  • With your financial background, what do you think most people should be doing with any extra money they have (savings, investments, etc.)?
  • When building confidence, especially in this world, how do you grow more confident in sharing the parts of your life that you’re NOT proud of so that others can learn from your mistakes?
  • Do you have any advice on helping sons (11yrs) deal with their anger in an appropriate manner instead of lashing out?
  • How do you keep your self-improvement momentum going when life’s tasks and responsibilities kick into overdrive for a while and you just want to take a break?
  • How do you get to a place where you can keep your self from sliding back into a rut?

The post Building a Tribe, Developing Confidence, and the Drive for Better appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
On this week’s Friday Field Notes I answer questions from the men in our Facebook Group: How do you find a new tribe when the current tribe becomes complacent? What is the best way to build a new network when you have moved across country/state and you... On this week’s Friday Field Notes I answer questions from the men in our Facebook Group: How do you find a new tribe when the current tribe becomes complacent? What is the best way to build a new network when you have moved across country/state and you truly don’t know anyone? What are some of … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 26:21
160: The Value Proposition | Tyler Harris https://www.orderofman.com/the-value-proposition-tyler-harris/ Tue, 10 Apr 2018 11:30:59 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4060 https://www.orderofman.com/the-value-proposition-tyler-harris/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-value-proposition-tyler-harris/feed/ 0 <p>Adding value is a phrase we’ll all heard. Like any word the marketers of the world get ahold of, it begins to lose some of it’s meaning when it’s overused. But that overuse doesn’t make it any less valuable as a strategy for growth and success. My guest today, Tyler Harris, is using the idea …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-value-proposition-tyler-harris/">160: The Value Proposition | Tyler Harris</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Adding value is a phrase we’ll all heard. Like any word the marketers of the world get ahold of, it begins to lose some of it’s meaning when it’s overused. But that overuse doesn’t make it any less valuable as a strategy for growth and success.

My guest today, Tyler Harris, is using the idea of adding value to create a hugely successful social media business on top of his already existing success in the financial services industry. Today, we talk about how personal responsibility lies at the foundation of success, how and why every man should develop more presence, why people are starving for the truth, and how the value proposition is so powerful.

“When I get on something, I don’t have any other mode than ‘all in.'” Tweet That— Tyler Harris

Tyler Harris

Tyler HarrisGentlemen, I have the honor of introducing you to someone I’ve been following for a little while now, Tyler Harris.

I’ve been extremely impressed by his level of dedication and discipline when it comes to building a new business using the power of social media. I talk with a lot of people who want to build a movement using the social tools at our disposal but I talk with very few who are doing it in a way that actually moves the needle.

And, as I got to know more about Tyler’s story, I can see why. He’s been hugely successful in establishing relationships and putting in a ton of work in order to thrive in the financial services industry (which is a very hard market to break into).

Now, he’s applying those same principles to his new endeavors and sharing them with us today.

“You won’t be able to receive the blessing on the other side of your struggle until you become the person who can.” Tweet That— Tyler Harris

Show Highlights

  • Striking a balance in life
  • The power of consistency
  • Determining what course of action is best for you
  • Why you should lead with insane levels of value
  • How personal responsibility is the foundation of achievement
  • Why you should avoid playing not to lose
  • Why the truth is so refreshing to people
  • Using social media as an accountability tool
  • How to avoid mismanaging your time
  • Developing presence
  • The qualities to look for in team members

“Making the same mistakes over and over again means you haven’t taken personal responsibility – you haven’t taken ownership for the outcome of those mistakes.” Tweet That— Tyler Harris

Exclusive Brotherhood, The Iron Council

You may have heard of our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council, by now. And, if you haven’t you’re about to.

I get so many questions about how to apply what we’ve been sharing here within Order of Man over the past three years. The Iron Council represents the next step, the next evolution, in the application of the principles we’ve been sharing.

Each month, we dive deep into a topic, I generate an assignment that will help draw out the conversations and challenges we’ll be having, and put in place the accountability to help you keep to the actions that will help you connect with people more deeply, launch that new business, lose that spare tire, and/or build a new set of skills that will help you thrive as a man.

If you’re interested in joining us, head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“A man is someone who has the ability to go all in.” Tweet That— Tyler Harris

Connect with Tyler Harris

The post 160: The Value Proposition | Tyler Harris appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Adding value is a phrase we’ll all heard. Like any word the marketers of the world get ahold of, it begins to lose some of it’s meaning when it’s overused. But that overuse doesn’t make it any less valuable as a strategy for growth and success. Adding value is a phrase we’ll all heard. Like any word the marketers of the world get ahold of, it begins to lose some of it’s meaning when it’s overused. But that overuse doesn’t make it any less valuable as a strategy for growth and success. My guest today, Tyler Harris, is using the idea … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 44:34
Fuel to the Fire https://www.orderofman.com/fuel-to-the-fire/ Fri, 06 Apr 2018 11:30:50 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4070 https://www.orderofman.com/fuel-to-the-fire/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/fuel-to-the-fire/feed/ 0 <p>I spend a lot of time talking to men on a daily basis. One thing I’m always intrigued by is the fire that I can see (or can’t see) simply by looking into their eyes. It’s been said that “the eyes are the window to the soul.” If that’s true, you can tell a lot …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/fuel-to-the-fire/">Fuel to the Fire</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I spend a lot of time talking to men on a daily basis. One thing I’m always intrigued by is the fire that I can see (or can’t see) simply by looking into their eyes. It’s been said that “the eyes are the window to the soul.” If that’s true, you can tell a lot about a man and his passion and enthusiasm through a quick glance and connection of the eyes.

Unfortunately, all too often what I see when I look is lifelessness, soullessness, and a general complacency and signs of defeat. I can certainly understand and even relate to that feeling. For a lot of years, I felt the exact same way. I occasionally look at old pictures of myself and I recognize a defeated man when I see him.

Let’s face it, life is tough. It gets challenging. It gets routine, boring, and monotonous at times. And, what I experience more often than not is men who allow those circumstances to defeat them. I think one of the biggest dangers in society today is a lack of men who are passionate, fired up, engaged in creating a meaningful life for themselves and those around them.

If you’re one of these guys who has lost the passion for life, have hope. The fire is there, inside you. You just need to add a little fuel to it to get it stoked again. Here are several strategies for adding fuel to the fire:

SAY “YES”

I just mentioned life can get boring at times. But who said it has to be? Try saying “yes” to some things you might not normally say “yes” to. As of the release of this recording, I am hunting with some friends in Hawaii. That is something I would have normally turned down because I’m “too busy” with life. This time, I said “yes” and I’m creating some incredible memories.

STOP DOING THINGS YOU HATE

Look, we all have to do things we don’t like to do or don’t want to do. It’s part of the job of men but if it has become the status quo as opposed the occasional rarity or duty, you need to re-evaluate what you’re doing with your life.

No one is forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do. You’ve imposed those limitations and restrictions on yourself. So, rather than doing all the things you hate, just stop. Or, if they have to get done, delegate them to someone more suited to do them.

CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT

This suggestion goes hand in hand with saying “yes” to more. The simple fact is that routines can be powerful but they can also be draining. Sometimes, you’ve got to break the mold and change your surroundings. If you’re stuck in an office all day, try going for a walk occasionally. If you go to the same restaurants, try something new. If you plop yourself on the couch every night before going to bed, try going for a walk instead. These changes in the environment will provide new experiences and perspectives to draw upon.

EXERCISE

I think this one goes without saying but it is a little counterintuitive. Get your body moving. Most people think that exercise will drain you even further. And, it might (especially if you haven’t been working out for years). But, once your body gets used to the fact that your mind is going to demand it to move, it starts to crave that movement and build up energy you haven’t experienced in years. I know, for example, that every time I go to the gym and workout in the morning, I have a better, more energetic day.

GO TO BED EARLIER

So many men stay up late watching their favorite TV show. Then, they wonder why they’re so drained in the morning and have no desire to get out of bed. The body needs rest. The body needs to recover. If it’s not doing it properly, your performance will suffer and you will not be able to gain or sustain any type of momentum in your life.

I’ll do another episode in the future on the power of sleep and the intricacies of creating an environment where you can maximize your rest. For now, listen to my interview with Ted Ryce called Sleep Done Right.

PLAN YOUR DAY THE NIGHT BEFORE

Before you go to bed, plan out exactly what you’re going to do the next morning. What time are you going to wake up? What will your workout be? What items do you need to get accomplished?

When I go to bed without a clear sense of direction and purpose for what I want to accomplish the next day, the likelihood of me getting out of bed on time and getting after my day is significantly lower. If, on the other hand, I know exactly what I am going to do and I’m excited about it, I find it significantly easier to jump out of bed when the alarm goes off and attack the day.

SERVE OTHERS

I see so many men throwing pity parties for themselves. They get consumed with wallowing in their own self-pity. Don’t be that guy. I’ve never met a man who is actively engaged who simultaneously feels sorry for himself. If you’re getting down on yourself, go serve someone else. Volunteer to coach a youth team, feed the homeless, mow a neighbor’s yard, help a friend move, etc. Do whatever you can to be active and productive in helping other people thrive and succeed and you will inevitably thrive and succeed.

BE ALONE

We don’t spend enough time alone. And, when I say “alone,” I’m talking about by yourself without anyone else and without any electronics or distractions. I can’t even begin to describe the power that comes from being alone with your mind and spending time just thinking about life. What do you want your life to look like? What do you want to accomplish?

I can name several times where I was working through some sticky situations. I simply went for a run without music or any other stimulus. I made it about 2 miles before I turned around, and ran home with ideas and insight that would solve the problems I found myself in.

BORROW ENERGY

Completely opposite of that advice is to borrow energy from other people. There are people that I simply don’t get along with. There are others I get so much excitement and energy from being around. Spend more time with those people. If they energize you, be around them. If they don’t, distance yourself.

Human beings are so much more connected that I think we know and I fully believe that we have the ability to transfer energy to one another. All you have to do is get within proximity with those who you’re inspired by and you’ll start feeling inspired to.

FIGHT A BATTLE

In his book, Wild at Heart, author John Eldredge says, “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” I want to address point number one. Every man longs to fight a battle. I’m not talking about a physical battle necessarily but a battle of his choosing.

My battle is the attack and dismissal of masculinity. That’s what we’re doing here with Order of Man. You may have a different battle in mind. Whatever it is, pursue it. Engage the enemy. Come up with a course of action, and attack. Without purpose, the fire burns out. With a purpose, it burns bright.

Gentlemen, this is in no way an exhaustive list but it will get you started. Life doesn’t have to be miserable. That’s simply a choice you get to make. The fire doesn’t begin to rage overnight but over time, it will if you’re willing to implement what I shared with you today, it will.

Say “yes” more often, stop doing things you hate, change your environment, exercise, go to bed earlier, plan your day the night before, serve others, be alone, borrow energy, and fight a battle and you’re well on your way to adding fuel to the fire that will help you live the life you’re capable of living.

The post Fuel to the Fire appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I spend a lot of time talking to men on a daily basis. One thing I’m always intrigued by is the fire that I can see (or can’t see) simply by looking into their eyes. It’s been said that “the eyes are the window to the soul.” If that’s true, I spend a lot of time talking to men on a daily basis. One thing I’m always intrigued by is the fire that I can see (or can’t see) simply by looking into their eyes. It’s been said that “the eyes are the window to the soul.” If that’s true, you can tell a lot … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 14:59
159: Embrace the Suffering | Rorke Denver https://www.orderofman.com/159-embrace-suffering-rorke-denver/ Tue, 03 Apr 2018 11:30:28 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4054 https://www.orderofman.com/159-embrace-suffering-rorke-denver/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/159-embrace-suffering-rorke-denver/feed/ 0 <p>Suffering isn’t typically something people like to attract in their lives but the reality is you cannot fully escape it. It’s part of the human experience. So, rather than run from the unexpected suffering we’re all likely to face, my guest, Navy SEAL Commander Rorke Denver suggests we run towards it and embrace it instead. …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/159-embrace-suffering-rorke-denver/">159: Embrace the Suffering | Rorke Denver</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Suffering isn’t typically something people like to attract in their lives but the reality is you cannot fully escape it. It’s part of the human experience. So, rather than run from the unexpected suffering we’re all likely to face, my guest, Navy SEAL Commander Rorke Denver suggests we run towards it and embrace it instead.

Today, we talk about the power of identifying and living by a set of ethos, how to create an extremely powerful ecosystem for success, when you should follow the rules and when you should break them, and how you can embrace the suffering life is bound to present.

“On the battlefield, there are times to go backwards but in general, the group that advances and pushes forward wins the fight.” Tweet That— Rorke Denver

Rorke Denver

Rorke DenverI was at an event about a month ago and my guest’s name was brought up to me three times in about ten minutes. I was intrigued so I looked him up and new I needed to connect with him.

Every once in a while, you make a new connection that feels more like old friends than new acquaintances. And, that’s how I felt when I started talking with Rorke Denver (this interview is the first time we’ve talked).

This man is truly incredible. He’s a Navy SEAL, Ranger qualified, New York Times Bestselling Author. And, on top of all that, he starred in the movie, Act of Valor, and has since gone on to create an amazing business focused on the idea of Ever Onward.

He’s taking all the lessons he’s learned and sharing them with the world so they too can learn what it takes to lead their own lives. And, speaking of leadership, this man is an incredible leader (you’ll hear that in the interview) and has since become a friend of mine.

I believe in finding and connecting with high-quality men and Rorke is among the best.

“We are our best if we are adopting new ideas and new concepts. There are things that are non-negotiable and there are things that I think I could adjust.” Tweet That— Rorke Denver

Show Highlights

  • The power of living by a set of ethos
  • Whether leadership is natural or developed
  • How to create an incredible team culture
  • Why suffering is crucial
  • Developing a powerful ecosystem
  • Why you should “subject yourself to something bigger”
  • Establishing non-negotiables
  • The three pillars of manhood
  • When you should follow the rules and when you shouldn’t
  • The art and science of leadership
  • The qualities to look for in team members

“You have to set the example and can’t hold somebody to a standard you’re not willing to meet yourself.” Tweet That— Rorke Denver

Uprising

Gentlemen, this is the very last time you’re going to hear me talk about our 3 1/2 experience in the mountains of Southern Utah. For those of you who don’t know this is an event unlike any other designed to push and test you and give you a new framework for how you operate as a man.

It’s going to be held on May 3rd – 6th, 2018 and we only have a few spots left. I just secured two new survival experts to teach you how to take care of yourself in emergency and medical situations. Between that, the leadership/team development, and the camaraderie and brotherhood with 25 other men, you are going to walk away equipped with a new set of skills, resources, and tools, designed to help you level up as a husband, father, and man.

Again, only a few spots remaining so check it out and get registered at www.orderofman.com/uprising.

“If you don’t have character, you’re going to get nowhere. You might as well keep your horse in the stall because you’re not going anywhere.” Tweet That— Rorke Denver

Connect with Rorke Denver

“Judgement, equality, and trust are three of those things I always keep as DNA level parts of my leadership journey.” Tweet That— Rorke Denver

The post 159: Embrace the Suffering | Rorke Denver appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Suffering isn’t typically something people like to attract in their lives but the reality is you cannot fully escape it. It’s part of the human experience. So, rather than run from the unexpected suffering we’re all likely to face, my guest, Suffering isn’t typically something people like to attract in their lives but the reality is you cannot fully escape it. It’s part of the human experience. So, rather than run from the unexpected suffering we’re all likely to face, my guest, Navy SEAL Commander Rorke Denver suggests we run towards it and embrace it instead. … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 54:15
Lord of the Flies https://www.orderofman.com/lord-of-the-flies/ Fri, 30 Mar 2018 11:30:03 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4067 https://www.orderofman.com/lord-of-the-flies/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/lord-of-the-flies/feed/ 0 <p>There seems to be this strange shift in society today where we, collectively, have begun to give more credit to children than they deserve. Historically, adults have made the decisions and been the influential party in the direction of relevant culture and policy. Now, in some sort of weird, reality version of Lord of the …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/lord-of-the-flies/">Lord of the Flies</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There seems to be this strange shift in society today where we, collectively, have begun to give more credit to children than they deserve. Historically, adults have made the decisions and been the influential party in the direction of relevant culture and policy. Now, in some sort of weird, reality version of Lord of the Flies, we’ve begun to allow our children to dictate the tone of the conversation and set the framework for some very serious issues all of us will be impacted by.

Now, before I get into what I’m going to share with you today, allow me to explain a couple things, a disclaimer if you will. First, I do not believe children should make the rules or set the tone of adult conversations. This does not mean I don’t care about our kids or have empathy and/or compassion for their perspectives and experiences. Second, some of our children are very intelligent. There’s no denying that. Still, they lack the life experience required to fully understand the ramifications of their limited experience. Third, I am not of the mindset that children should be seen and not heard. I listen to my children (and the children in my community I have a responsibility for) every day. That said, I as the adult, make the decisions.

When I see children yelling at their parents in the grocery store and witness the parents giving into their demands, when I see children who have no clear adult role models in their lives make horrible mistakes, and when I see children at marches without a full understanding of the depth of the issues, I can’t help but think we are beginning to fail them.

So today, I thought I would cover some of the reasons we ought to be very careful of giving children more credit than they deserve. But this isn’t about whining and complaining about what “kids these days” are doing. No, what I want to give is some practical steps we, as men, can take to ensure that our children have a path to run on. After all, we will be asking them to lead one day. That day just isn’t today.

THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE

The first issue that I want to bring up is that children will naturally take the path of least resistance. They don’t yet fully understand the law of sacrifice which states that you need to give up something today in order to have something better tomorrow. This makes sense. Children’s perspectives are limited only to what they have experienced. Which is not a whole lot since they’ve only been alive for a very short time frame.

They look for the easy answer, the short path, the surface level solution without a full understanding of how that solution will impact them and others in the long term. To be fair, plenty of adults do this too. And, I’m certainly not suggesting we take every adult’s recommendation. That said, adults have more experience to draw upon where they can look back on their life’s choice and realize where they fell short, what choices served them, and what choices hindered them. Kids just don’t have enough experience, responsibilities, and feedback to understand those principles.

Solution: We need to get our kids involved in experiences where they can fail. Society says we should not allow our children to fail. This is a problem because it leads them to believe they are invincible and incapable of failing. This, in turn, sets them up for a false sense of security. I’ve seen young adults buckle at the slightest sign of adversity simply because their parents told them they could do anything and everything, and that they were special, wonderful, and good at everything they’ve ever tried.

Lie after lie is perpetuated to these children and the ego comes with it simply because they haven’t been kicked in the pants enough.

This is the exact reason I get my kids involved in competitive sports. I want them to know what it’s like to fail, how to win, how to lose, and how to use the feedback of failure to learn and grow. I want them to understand what sacrifice looks like and that nothing in this world comes free or free from consequences.

NAIVETE AND IGNORANCE

This leads nicely into point number two which is that children see things through rose-colored glasses. They see things how they wish them to be, not as they actually are.

In short, children are overly optimistic and have a false sense of reality about how this world works. That’s obvious because they don’t know how it works and, more and more, parents are failing to teach them how it works. Couple that with the bubble wrap we insist on protecting our children with and it’s easy to see why and, at times, envy that youthful naiveté.

Look, don’t get me wrong, having hope is a wonderful thing but when it’s predicated on a delusion it becomes very dangerous. When you see one perspective, you’re missing the other 359 degrees that paint an entirely more accurate and realistic picture.

Solution: Get more involved in your children’s lives by teaching the good, the bad, and the ugly. You do no justice to your children by sheltering from the atrocities of the world. Talk with your kids about violence, how to protect themselves, money, sex, drugs, and all the things you wish to keep them from.

As adults, we keep these things from our children in hopes they won’t go near the things that will hurt them but all we’re really doing is attracting them to it even more. You cannot keep your kids from danger. It’s inevitable. But you can expose them to it (in controlled environments) so they have a clearer vision of the realities of life.

Armed with that information, they are more capable of making choices with all the facts at hand, not just the comfortable ones.

SELFISHNESS VS. SELFLESSNESS

The third and final point I want to make is that children are selfish. They operate from a position of scarcity. I understand why. When we look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we can see plainly that humans will need to fulfill certain needs before moving on to more advanced needs.

Children are naturally insecure because they are in exploration mode, trying to make sense of the experiences and world around them. Self-preservation becomes the priority over abundance for the people in their lives. They simply haven’t matured enough to lead others well. They can’t even lead themselves well.

Couple that with the fact that our youth have very little responsibility and accountability in their own lives. For the most part, there are no negative consequences for selfish behavior. Children are continually rewarded for taking care of themselves at the expense of others. It isn’t until they learn and see how operating as a team (whether in the family, sports, school, church, etc.) will serve everyone better than just themselves.

Solution: The solution is straightforward. Give children responsibility. Give them a pet to take care of. Make them earn the things they want. Make them responsible for an area or project around the house. Have them earn their way.

And, please, discipline your children when they do wrong. I know it’s not easy. No one wants to enforce the negative consequences of their children’s behavior. But you do them a disservice when you tell them that it’s okay to do dumb things over and over and over again. You hinder them, not help them when you do that. Do not come to their rescue. Let them sit in the shame of their choices. It sounds harsh when I put it like that. It’s not. It’s one of the most powerful learning opportunities you could give to a child.

As I wrap things up, I remind you that this is not a call to ignore what our children are experiencing and saying. It’s a call to spend more time and attention on them. That doesn’t mean that we bow down to their every wish and desire. It simply means that we act like the adults we are asking them to become by leading by example and doing the hard things we must in order to more fully prepare them for what is to come.

I realize Lord of the Flies is fictional work but I do believe it paints an eerily familiar scenario when we allow the kids to be the adults. Bottom line: they are incapable of doing so. That won’t always be the case unless we ignore our responsibilities as men to lead with guidance, love, direction, clarity, and paint an accurate picture of what it takes to be successful in life.

Allow your children to fail, teach your children the good and ugly reality of life, and give them the burden of responsibility. Only through these continual exercises will we allow them to develop into the adults we’ll one day be proud to follow.

The post Lord of the Flies appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There seems to be this strange shift in society today where we, collectively, have begun to give more credit to children than they deserve. Historically, adults have made the decisions and been the influential party in the direction of relevant culture... There seems to be this strange shift in society today where we, collectively, have begun to give more credit to children than they deserve. Historically, adults have made the decisions and been the influential party in the direction of relevant culture and policy. Now, in some sort of weird, reality version of Lord of the … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 18:00
158: The 1% Rule | Tommy Baker https://www.orderofman.com/158-1-rule-tommy-baker/ Tue, 27 Mar 2018 11:30:59 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4040 https://www.orderofman.com/158-1-rule-tommy-baker/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/158-1-rule-tommy-baker/feed/ 0 <p>Most of us tend to focus on that one big, audacious goal we all have. The problem with that is it may be so far out there or so unrealistic that subconsciously we believe we can’t ever achieve it. My guest and friend, Tommy Baker, makes the case for focusing more on the process than …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/158-1-rule-tommy-baker/">158: The 1% Rule | Tommy Baker</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Most of us tend to focus on that one big, audacious goal we all have. The problem with that is it may be so far out there or so unrealistic that subconsciously we believe we can’t ever achieve it.

My guest and friend, Tommy Baker, makes the case for focusing more on the process than the result. In fact, in his new book, he teaches how to fall in love with the process and achieve our wildest dreams. Today, we talk about overcoming the law of diminishing returns, how to effectively set goals, the greatest myths of achievement, and how to harness the power of the 1% rule.

“The process is what gives us meaning and fulfillment in life.” Tweet That— Tommy Baker

Tommy Baker

Tommy BakerGents, my guest today is return guest, Mr. Tommy Baker. He’s been on the show once before but has since written a new book and I knew, based on feedback we got from our previous conversation, we needed to have him back on.

If you haven’t listened to the first episode, you’ll soon hear why Tommy and I get along so well. His energy is second to none and his enthusiasm and engagement with life are infectious.

He is the founder of the Resist Average Academy and podcast and has a passion for helping people achieve more in every single area of their lives.

Originally, a fitness coach, he’s since expanded his own capacity for growth and expansion and is more focused now on helping people get their mindset right. His first book is called Unresolution and the follow up is what you’ll hear all about today, called The 1% Rule.

“When you focus on the ‘why,’ the ‘how’ begins to reveal itself.” Tweet That— Tommy Baker

Show Highlights

  • How to fall in love with the process as opposed to the end result
  • Overcoming the law of diminishing returns
  • How to effectively set goals
  • Why focusing on the “how” is the enemy of progress
  • Developing and exercising faith
  • The myths of achievement
  • The power of a why, vision, purpose, and mission
  • The 3-step code for achieving more
  • Why auditing your life and implementing “auto-deletion” is so powerful
  • How focusing on death helps you live better
  • The truth about massive expectations and unrealistic goals

“If you experience fear and if you experience doubt, that’s a sign that you’re thinking big and bold.” Tweet That— Tommy Baker

Uprising

Three spots left for our annual Uprising. This is probably the last week you’ll hear me talk about it.

If you haven’t heard me mention it before, this is our 3 1/2 experience in the mountains of southern Utah. It’s unlike any event that you’ve ever attended before. We’ve got physical challenges, challenges to test you mentally and physically, and, of course, the brotherhood and camaraderie that you can come to expect from any Order of Man experience.

My goal during the 3 1/2 days we’ll be spending together is to make you bleed, sweat, and cry. Frankly, things men don’t really get all that much of in their everyday, ordinary, mundane lives. My team and I are there to create new revelations in your own patterns and behaviors and uncover the reason you perform the way you do in life. Then, we’ll give you the framework for developing new thoughts, ideas, and habit.

If you’re interested in learning more and getting registered, head to www.orderofman.com/uprising.

“What lights you up? What skills do you have based on where you want to go? What skills do you need to acquire? Let’s create a gameplan from that.” Tweet That— Tommy Baker

Connect with Tommy Baker

“If you get so lost in the specifics of the vision that you become so rigid in the way you apply it, you might miss the opportunities that are actually more powerful.” Tweet That— Tommy Baker

The post 158: The 1% Rule | Tommy Baker appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Most of us tend to focus on that one big, audacious goal we all have. The problem with that is it may be so far out there or so unrealistic that subconsciously we believe we can’t ever achieve it. My guest and friend, Tommy Baker, Most of us tend to focus on that one big, audacious goal we all have. The problem with that is it may be so far out there or so unrealistic that subconsciously we believe we can’t ever achieve it. My guest and friend, Tommy Baker, makes the case for focusing more on the process than … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 50:30
The Demise of Responsibility https://www.orderofman.com/the-demise-of-responsibility/ Fri, 23 Mar 2018 11:30:50 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4043 https://www.orderofman.com/the-demise-of-responsibility/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-demise-of-responsibility/feed/ 0 <p>Take a look around and I think you’ll agree with me that there seems to be more and more men who are shirking their responsibilities as men. It’s easy to understand why. It’s always harder (at least initially) to accept responsibility. If you do, it means you’ll actually have to exert yourself. You’ll have to …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-demise-of-responsibility/">The Demise of Responsibility</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Take a look around and I think you’ll agree with me that there seems to be more and more men who are shirking their responsibilities as men. It’s easy to understand why. It’s always harder (at least initially) to accept responsibility. If you do, it means you’ll actually have to exert yourself.

You’ll have to go into the office a little earlier. You’ll have to stay a little later. You’ll miss the latest season of Game of Thrones (or whatever series happens to be on right now). It means you’ll have to volunteer to help a neighbor in need. Or serve in your church or community. It means you’ll have to put your own hobby on hold and help your child with his or her homework. It means that the hunting trip will have to wait because your business or family needs your attention.

Of course, when I put it that way, no sane human being would want to accept more responsibility. So, what do we do instead? We complain about rights and entitlements. It’s pathetic.

“It’s my right to free health insurance.”
“It’s my right to a good job.”
“I’m entitled to my wife’s support.”
“My boss owes me a promotion.”
“That company has to serve me the way I want to be served.”

It’s selfish. It’s weak. And, most importantly, it’s a detriment to yourself and society as a whole. What happens when the majority of people begin to demand “rights” without a willingness to accept responsibility for securing those rights? I think we all know the answer to that question. And, just in case you don’t, the answer is, “it collapses.”

FULFILLMENT, SATISFACTION, JOY, ACHIEVEMENT

Now, in addition to the moral obligations we have as men to serve (more on that in a minute), accepting responsibility in your life is the surest path to long-term fulfillment and achievement.

Any time in my life, whether through my military service, my career endeavors, my personal fitness goals, or my family priorities, where I’ve accepted responsibility, life has always gotten better – always.

Here’s the thing about men who shirk responsibility. They’re weak. They’re pathetic. And, they know it. From my perspective (and I’ll have to find the research to back this up), when a man knows he’s capable of more yet doesn’t do anything about it, he begins to experience the full brunt of his own inadequacies – physically, mentally, and emotionally.

On the other hand, when a man knows he’s capable of more and raises his hand to accept that reality, he begins to forge a new destiny and lays the foundation for progress in his life. When a man accepts responsibility, he equips himself with the mindset for growth and achievement. When a man accepts responsibility, he tells himself and the world he is capable of stepping into the very thing that makes him a man – service.

SERVICE

At the core of what it means to be a man is to serve. Think about our motto – protect, provide, preside. All three of those responsibilities have an element of service.

See, most people believe that joy comes in others serving them. I’ve found that to be fun for a very short period of time. I have a difficult time (as I’m sure you do) allowing other people to serve me. Why? Because why would I have people serve me when I’m fully capable of serving myself?

If you’ve ever thought that way, congratulations, you are a man. That’s what it means to be a man – self-reliance and service to others. We protect, we provide, we preside (lead). We cannot step into those roles while, at the same time, complaining about what rights we have and what we’re owed.

Men earn their accomplishments. Boys don’t. Take your sons, for example. Yeah, they may earn some money by doing some chores around the house but at the end of the day, the burden of responsibility for your family falls upon you as the head of the household.

Now, what we see in society is a bunch of boys running around in men’s bodies. They’re doing just enough to get by at their job. They still mooch off mommy and daddy, and potentially still live at home. They expect their wives to go out into the workforce and do the work of men. They collect unemployment and other benefits they didn’t earn knowing full well they’re capable of putting their own food on the table.

Then, they wonder why they don’t feel fulfilled or satisfied, or why people don’t take them seriously. It’s because you don’t even take yourself seriously. Why should anyone else either?

If you want to call yourself a man, lead yourself, serve yourself, then serve others.

SOCIETY IS WEAK

But, here’s the problem. Society says it’s okay you act like a lazy, immature, pathetic, mediocre, slob.

We see this when we don’t allow our children to fail and we reward them for simply showing up. We recite cute, little phrases like, “showing up is half the battle.” No, showing up is the ticket to entry. Nothing more, nothing less.

We see this when we allow government handouts to be divvied up to anyone indefinitely without any requirements or accountability. We give unemployment benefits to fully-qualified men and women. We allow bankruptcies to wipe away and absolve any poor financial choices.

We forgive. We forget. We strip citizens of the benefit from the negative consequences of their choices. Yes, I said “benefit from the negative consequences.” The benefit of experiencing the full brunt of your poor choices is that you learn not to do it again. But if you’re saved every time you do something dumb, you’re going to continue to do dumb things.

There are so many weak people in society, it’s hard to bear at times. Everywantswant to save people from themselves. “Oh, what if they make a mistake. We need to rescue them,” they’ll cry with big tears from their eyes. No, what you need to do is let people rescue themselves through the action of taking responsibility.

We are too quick to discount human ingenuity, resolve, and resilience.

CHOOSE YOUR HARD

Look, I get it. Life is hard. There are days I want to curl up in my bed and do nothing. But that isn’t really an option for me. Why? Because I’ve raised my hand and said I am a man. And, a man acts like a man. Which means, he gets out of bed, he does what needs to be done for himself and his family, he does his work with honor and pride, he serves those in his community and under his care, and he earns everything he has.

This isn’t easy. I get it. It’s hard to exert yourself. Anytime we strive to do something great, there will be forces and friction working against us. That’s what makes it hard.

But, here’s the deal: you get to choose your hard. You can take the easy path now and defer the full furry of your weak choices down the road. Or, you can decide to take the hard path now. And, I’m not talking about doing things just for the sake of them being hard. I’m talking about doing the things you know you should be doing now – today. When you do, life has a way of becoming more enjoyable.

Life is going to be hard. That’s guaranteed. But you get to choose your hard. Do you voluntarily say, “I’ll take the hard path now.” Or, do you put it off and put it off and put it off and live a life less than you’re capable of?

I hope you make the right choice.

The post The Demise of Responsibility appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Take a look around and I think you’ll agree with me that there seems to be more and more men who are shirking their responsibilities as men. It’s easy to understand why. It’s always harder (at least initially) to accept responsibility. If you do, Take a look around and I think you’ll agree with me that there seems to be more and more men who are shirking their responsibilities as men. It’s easy to understand why. It’s always harder (at least initially) to accept responsibility. If you do, it means you’ll actually have to exert yourself. You’ll have to … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 17:21
How Hunting Makes You a Better Man | Adam Greentree https://www.orderofman.com/157-hunting-makes-better-man-adam-greentree/ Tue, 20 Mar 2018 11:30:25 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4028 https://www.orderofman.com/157-hunting-makes-better-man-adam-greentree/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/157-hunting-makes-better-man-adam-greentree/feed/ 0 <p>I went on my first hunt just last year and I can tell you that it was one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. I have another trip planned in a couple weeks and I already know it’s going to push me and expand me in new ways as a man. Although I …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/157-hunting-makes-better-man-adam-greentree/">How Hunting Makes You a Better Man | Adam Greentree</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I went on my first hunt just last year and I can tell you that it was one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. I have another trip planned in a couple weeks and I already know it’s going to push me and expand me in new ways as a man.

Although I wouldn’t call myself a hunter just yet, I am learning and inspired by men like my friend and guest today, Adam Greentree. He’s been hunting in Australia for most of his life and I really wanted to get his perspective because it’s one we just don’t hear a lot. Today, we talk about why adventure is so important in the lives of men, developing an open mind to new ideas and experiences, knowing what battles to fight and when to make a stand, and how hunting can make you a better man.

“20 years of being a hardcore bowhunter and I still haven’t mastered it.” Tweet That— Adam Greentree

Adam Greentree

Adam GreentreeGentlemen, today I have the honor of introducing you to my friend, Mr. Adam Greentree.

Adam is an avid bowhunter from Australia, he’s the host of the Bowhunter’s Life Podcast, and is someone I admire and respect for his dedication to his craft and his quest for mastery when it comes to all things bowhunting.

I’ve learned so much from this guy in such a short period of time and he’s inspired me to live a life of more adventure and to pick up a bow and see what the fuss is all about for myself.

I’m also blown away with his hunting schedule. The amount of hunts this guy participates in is unreal. And, how he does it and the adventures he takes part of will definitely inspire you to tap back into your primal roots.

“Nothing is a given, and that’s what I really love about bowhunting.” Tweet That— Adam Greentree

Show Highlights

  • How hunting makes you a better man
  • The value of hunting on the pursuit of mastery
  • How to overcome challenges, obstacles, hurdles
  • Why adventure is so important in the lives of men
  • Developing an open mind to new ideas and experiences
  • How hunting helped Adam create a “new awakening” for himself
  • Knowing what battles to fight and when to make a stand
  • The conservation efforts lead by hunters
  • The critical importance of providing for your family
  • How hunting can make you more passionate and appreciative of life
  • Dealing with hate and criticism

“I hate failing but I love failing in something because it keeps me going at it.” Tweet That— Adam Greentree

Uprising

Gentlemen, five more spots remaining for our 3rd annual Uprising event held on May 3rd-6th, 2018. We just locked in a Navy SEAL to teach us some basic firearms training, we’ve got some incredible instructors to teach us mixed martial arts, two experts on the subject of survival training and so much more.

If you’re a man and you’re ready to take your life to the next level, that is exactly what we’re doing over a period of 3 1/2 days in the mountains of southern Utah.

We’ve got physical challenges, mental challenges, emotional challenges all designed to give you a new benchmark for the way in which you operate in your life. You’re going to walk away with some new perspectives to accelerate your growth, some new friends to keep you accountable, and some experiences that you’ll never forget.

Again, we’ve only got 5 spots left so register quickly at www.orderofman.com/uprising.

“I hate the idea that there’s a whole bunch of people who don’t know how good the experience [of bowhunting] is.” Tweet That— Adam Greentree

Connect with Adam Greentree

“Being a hunter has made me more passionate about animals, and more passionate about being humane, and more aware of where our meat comes from.” Tweet That— Adam Greentree

The post How Hunting Makes You a Better Man | Adam Greentree appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I went on my first hunt just last year and I can tell you that it was one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. I have another trip planned in a couple weeks and I already know it’s going to push me and expand me in new ways as a man. I went on my first hunt just last year and I can tell you that it was one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. I have another trip planned in a couple weeks and I already know it’s going to push me and expand me in new ways as a man. Although I … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 44:11
How to Write a Book https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-write-a-book/ Fri, 16 Mar 2018 11:30:48 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4033 https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-write-a-book/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-write-a-book/feed/ 0 <p>Today, I thought I’d pull back the curtain and share with you a little bit about the process of writing a book. I’ve received a lot of messages since we published, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men about what it took to write the book, the challenges, the victories, the things …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/how-to-write-a-book/">How to Write a Book</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Today, I thought I’d pull back the curtain and share with you a little bit about the process of writing a book. I’ve received a lot of messages since we published, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men about what it took to write the book, the challenges, the victories, the things I did well, and the things I didn’t do so well in making this book available to you.

Let’s face it, writing a book isn’t an easy process. It’s a painstakingly slow journey that really causes you to question your own sanity. Sometimes you run across days you feel 100% committed and, other days, you want to quit and throw in the towel.

So, since I’ve received so many questions about the process, I figured I’d give you some insight and you can decide from there if writing a book is something you want to take part it. We’ll cover the reason you need a strong “why,” the actual process (including the tools I used), the timeline you should follow, what format to publish in, and whether you should find a publisher or self-publish.

I do want to give you a disclaimer by telling you I’m not the subject-matter expert on this process. I’m simply sharing my journey with you. If you’re genuinely ready to write a book and you want the detailed intricacies of the process, there are plenty of more qualified sources of knowledge that this fifteen-minute podcast.

Why

I believe that you must have a strong reason for writing a book if you’re going to successfully write a book. Just because someone told you it was a good idea or you think you “should” doesn’t mean that writing a book is in your cards.

The truth is that this is not always the most enjoyable experience (as with anything) so, in order to keep the sustained movement required, you’re going to have to find a strong reason for continuing when you don’t want to.

For me, I took book writing as a challenge. I don’t particularly enjoy writing and I’ve never done much of it so the challenge was appealing. But I also firmly believe in what our mission here is with Order of Man. And, because I believe so strongly in my mission, I knew that writing a book was one additional way to spread this message to men who would not otherwise know what we’re all about.

Process

The process is very simple. Just write. Too many people try to overlook this simplicity and game the system but, at the end of the day, if you can’t find time to sit down in the chair and crank out words every, single day, you’re never going to complete your work.

So, that’s exactly what I decided to do. I wrote roughly 63,000 words in 60 days. I committed to writing 1000 words every day. There were some days I missed but I more than made up for those missed days the following day. That’s it. It really is that simple.

I initially used Microsoft Word but switched to Scrivener very soon after so I can access the chapters easily and search very easily as well. What you use doesn’t matter as long as you’re using it and cranking out the words.

Once, I got about 30,000 words under my belt, I started researching graphic designers and editors (you’ll want both). I interviewed several until I found a good fit and the book turned out great. I wouldn’t suggest that you use cheap designers or editors (or attempt to do it yourself). If you want a professional book, hire professionals to help.

Timeline

I’d be thinking about writing a book for years. But it really wasn’t until I got serious and shortened the timeline that I actually began to write. As I said before, I wrote 63,000 words in 60 days. It wasn’t easy and it took its toll on me and my business but, again, I had a really strong reason to do it and keep pushing through.

I talked with a publisher (which I’ll talk more about in the next point I make) about how quickly I wanted to get the book out to the public. It was a very, very short timeline (the next book I write will definitely be a longer timeline). I had my graphic designer working on the formatting while I was writing and my editor would review a batch of chapters at a time while I was working on the next part of the book. Everything was overlapped since we had such a short deadline to meet.

This worked for me because it forced me to keep moving but on my next book, I’ll expand the timeline since I know I’m capable of seeing it all the way through.

Play with timelines and find a schedule that works for you but just be consistent.

Format (Paperback or Hardcover, Ebook, Audio)

Since I had the idea of writing Sovereignty, I knew I wanted to do a hardcover book. In my mind, I wanted to write a “real” book (as if a paperback book isn’t real). Again, that’s just what I had in mind.

The version you choose doesn’t really matter as long as it’s high-quality. It’s easy to put a cheap piece of work out into the world but I really wanted to create something that is going to last a very long time.

Since I got the hardcover out at the same time I got the ebook out, I’ve released the paperback version and an audio version. One thing I would suggest on the audio version is that you read it yourself (especially if you already have an audience). People know you, they like you, and they trust you. Your voice has weight so if you can, use it. It’s much more powerful and relatable to your audience.

Again, the format doesn’t really matter all that much just make it work for you. My goal was to create something that would reach the masses so I opted to make every version available (hardcover, paperback, ebook, and audio).

Publisher or Self-Publish

Whether you go with a publisher or decide to self-publish is a difficult proposition to answer. There are pros and cons to both. I opted to go with a publisher on this round since it was my first and I really had no idea what I was doing.

Their expertise was invaluable when it came to formatting, hitting the timeline, and making sure we worked into all the distribution channels available.

On my next book, I will self-publish. I know a little more about what I’m doing, I’m lengthening the timeline for more flexibility, and have complete control over the process itself. Self-publishing is easier than it’s ever been and it’s becoming more and more popular for a reason.

That’s the process. It’s really not all that complex but it certainly isn’t easy. If you are interested in writing a book, wrap your head around the idea of a writing schedule. To me, that’s the most important factor (and pick a schedule in which you can maintain consistency). From there, it’s having a strong reason why you want to write a book, coming up with a timeline, deciding which format to go with, and whether or not you’re going to get a publisher or self-publish.

For anyone who wants to write a book, I would first try to talk them out of it because it’s not for the faint of heart and it will take its mental toll but if you cannot be convinced to table the idea, I’d suggest you get started. It’s not easy, it takes time, there will be ups and downs, but it’s one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve taken part in.

The post How to Write a Book appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Today, I thought I’d pull back the curtain and share with you a little bit about the process of writing a book. I’ve received a lot of messages since we published, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men about what it took to write the ... Today, I thought I’d pull back the curtain and share with you a little bit about the process of writing a book. I’ve received a lot of messages since we published, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men about what it took to write the book, the challenges, the victories, the things … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 24:46
156: Calling in Your Social Capital | Jordan Harbinger https://www.orderofman.com/156-calling-social-capital-jordan-harbinger/ Tue, 13 Mar 2018 11:30:18 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4016 https://www.orderofman.com/156-calling-social-capital-jordan-harbinger/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/156-calling-social-capital-jordan-harbinger/feed/ 0 <p>One year ago, I had my good friend, Jordan Harbinger on the show to talk about building social capital. Today, he’s back on the show to talk about calling in that social capital. Through a series of unfortunate events with his business, he’s had to reach out to his network, connections, and friends and request …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/156-calling-social-capital-jordan-harbinger/">156: Calling in Your Social Capital | Jordan Harbinger</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

One year ago, I had my good friend, Jordan Harbinger on the show to talk about building social capital. Today, he’s back on the show to talk about calling in that social capital.

Through a series of unfortunate events with his business, he’s had to reach out to his network, connections, and friends and request help in building a new business from the ground up. Without his work in building a strong network in the past, Jordan admits he’d be in a much worse position today. In this episode, we talk about why keeping score in relationships is a bad idea, how to get over asking people for help, something Jordan calls “systematic network maintenance,” and how to call in your social capital.

“If you’re not helping other people without the expectation of anything in return, you only see the opportunities that you’re going for.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbinger

Jordan Harbinger

Jordan HarbingerToday, I have the privilege of introducing you to my friend, yet again, Jordan Harbinger. This is his third visit on the show and every single conversation with him has been packed with value and wisdom.

Jordan reached out to me a month or so ago after having left his previous business, The Art of Charm, to inform me that he was striking out on his own.

I know a lot of you are familiar with that company and probably follow it as well. You probably also know that Jordan had a falling out with the other founders and found himself needed to tap into his social capital, which he’s been building for years.

The thing that impresses me most about Jordan is that it is apparent he applies what he teaches and, as much as I wish we were having this conversation under different circumstances, in this conversation you’ll hear exactly how he’s going to crush his new business venture using the skills, tools, and strategies he’s been teaching for more than a decade in the business.

“Always give without the expectation of anything in return.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbinger

Show Highlights

  • Why keeping score in relationships is a bad idea
  • How to build a network without the expectation of anything in return
  • Why people choose to follow certain people
  • How to maintain consistent contact with your network
  • How to get over asking people for help
  • Getting comfortable with helping others
  • Getting comfortable with asking help from others
  • The strategy of “opportunistic network maintenance”
  • The strategy of “systematic network maintenance”
  • How to use content management systems to enhance your social capital
  • Specific strategies for building out and asking for help from your network

“It’s easy when you’re on the top of the mountain.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbinger

Uprising

Seven. That’s the number of spots we have left for this year’s Uprising. If you aren’t familiar with what this is, now is the time to head to www.orderofman.com/uprising and learn a little more about this 3 1/2 men’s event in the mountains of Southern Utah.

This experience is going to be held on May 3rd-6th, 2018  and it is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. We’ve got firearms (from a Navy SEAL), self-defense, and survival training. We’ve got physical, mental, and emotional challenges. We’ve got food, amazing scenery, and firesides each and every night.

All of this is designed to do one thing – jar you out of the reality in which you have found yourself. The reality is that most of us are living in a position of stagnation and there’s no wonder we’re not producing the results we’re after. This experience will give you a new foundation, framework, and lens through which you view your life moving forward.

Get registered quickly. All you have to do is get to Las Vegas and we’ll take care of the rest. Again, head to www.orderofman.com/uprising. See you there.

“We do business with people we know like and trust.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbinger

Connect with Jordan Harbinger

“It’s foolish not to let other people help you without expectation of anything in return.” Tweet That— Jordan Harbinger

The post 156: Calling in Your Social Capital | Jordan Harbinger appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
One year ago, I had my good friend, Jordan Harbinger on the show to talk about building social capital. Today, he’s back on the show to talk about calling in that social capital. Through a series of unfortunate events with his business, One year ago, I had my good friend, Jordan Harbinger on the show to talk about building social capital. Today, he’s back on the show to talk about calling in that social capital. Through a series of unfortunate events with his business, he’s had to reach out to his network, connections, and friends and request … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 46:33
Makers and Takers https://www.orderofman.com/makers-takers/ Fri, 09 Mar 2018 11:30:22 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4011 https://www.orderofman.com/makers-takers/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/makers-takers/feed/ 0 <p>There are two types of people in this world: makers and takers. The reality is that we’ve all been a bit of both in our lives. But I think more and more I’m seeing the pendulum switch in society from most of us being makers to most of us being takers. It’s not sustainable. It’s …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/makers-takers/">Makers and Takers</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There are two types of people in this world: makers and takers. The reality is that we’ve all been a bit of both in our lives. But I think more and more I’m seeing the pendulum switch in society from most of us being makers to most of us being takers.

It’s not sustainable. It’s not healthy. And, frankly, it’s not manly. So today, I thought I’d share why being a maker is not only your job as a man but it’s a much more profitable and fulfilling way to live. And, I’ll also share five very practical tips/mindsets for turning yourself into more of a maker.

Look, at the end of the day, it’s easy to see why a lot of people believe being a taker will produce maximum results in their lives. It will, in the short term because, when you’re a taker, your results typically come at the expense of other people. Being a maker, however, is about cooperation with other people to create environments where everyone wins, not just one party.

When you create scenarios in which everyone wins, it’s much more sustainable over long periods of time because it leverages your efforts from just you to an army of motivated advocates of you.

Take this movement in Order of Man and, more specifically, this podcast. I do this for free. I don’t get paid to do this podcast. I’ve never asked you to pay me to deliver this information to you. Sure, we have programs and offerings but the value you get here in the words that I share is free and accessible to everyone. What this has done is create a movement millions of men are not only proud to support but also proud to share with other men they know.

This is just one small example of how “making” inevitably turns into “taking.” And, I want to be very clear on this, making (or producing results) should not come at your expense. There’s a point at which making becomes unhealthy. We recognize this when we see the perennial “nice guy” who lets himself become the victim of everything and everyone else.

And, I’m not necessarily advocating for being a maker simply so you can be a taker at some point. Sure, it often plays out that way but that’s just a natural byproduct of producing more in your life. Quite honestly, it just feels good to give to other people. Why? Because we’re hardwired to do it. Think about our tagline, “Protect, Provide, Preside.” All three roles have an element of service.

So, yes, being a maker will help you win but it’s also our job.

On that note, let’s break down 5 tip, strategies, and mindsets you can incorporate to be a better maker.

Optimistic

If you’re going to be negative about every situation, you’re more likely to be a taker. You’re more likely to believe that the world is inherently bad and that everyone is out to get you. I don’t believe that’s the case at all.

I believe people are inherently good and that most people are moral and ethical and want very much the same things I want out of life: good relationships, a little money in the bank account, a thriving career, and some memorable experiences. And, because I believe this to be true, I can see a bit of myself in everyone that I meet. I want people to win. I believe they can win. And, if I can help them do it, you better believe that I will.

And, you know what, I’m willing to give people the benefit of the doubt because of it. Every once in a while I get it wrong but it’s never served me poorly to give to other people abundantly.

Scarcity versus Abundance

Along those lines (and point number two), I believe that you can have one of two mindsets: scarcity or abundance.

Those with a scarcity mindset tend to believe the pie is finite and that if I am to win, it has to come at the expense of someone else. They believe the rich only get richer at the expense of the poor. And, they live their lives believing they have to get theirs before anyone else or there won’t be any left.

Those with an abundance mindset, however, believe that there is no pie – that there is more than enough to go around. And, because they know there is more than enough to go around, they can share freely of their resources. They know that they won’t run out of that which they give to others because there is no tank that holds happiness, opportunity, connections, innovation, ideas, that once depleted, it’s gone. It’s like sustainable energy. These things cannot be depleted. In fact, the more you give, the more you create so it’s in your best interest to create, give, and produce.

Look for Win-Win Scenarios

In addition to being optimistic and of an abundance mindset, makers are constantly looking for ways to create win-win situations. This isn’t a negotiation necessarily but an opportunity to make sure success for one does not come at the expense of the others.

I think those with a “taker” mindset see a very limited set of solutions to problems. But a maker sees more than black and white. He sees the middle ground, the unconventional, the unorthodox solutions to some of the world’s biggest problems.

And because he sees the world through that lens, he becomes a person who has the ability to get the job done. His reputation grows, his relationship thrives, and his businesses explode.

From the outside, others will wonder in amazement at all he is able to accomplish and chalk it up to the “x-factor,” when all the while, it was his simply his ability to see a solution others failed to.

Be creative

This actually leads nicely into point four, looking for creative solutions. I have a lot of people ask how we’ve been able to rise to the top of a very crowded market. The answer is very simple – be creative when it comes to helping other people win.

I want people to win. I want you to get information from this podcast that will change your life. I want my guests to sell their books and their courses. I want men to step up more fully into their lives as fathers, husbands, business owners, and community leaders. Because I want that so much, I spend time thinking creatively about how I can help others accomplish the things they want in their lives.

And, here’s one of the best parts: when I do, I make myself indispensable in people’s lives. Everyone can come up with the same regurgitated solutions but if you can craft creative solutions to problems others may not even recognize they have, you cement yourself as someone others need in their lives.

Play the Long Game

I saved point number five for last because without this final strategy, nothing else I talked about really matters. You have to be in this game for the long-haul. If you haven’t fully committed to being a “maker” in every environment in which you find yourself, you are not going to win long-term.

Sure, you’ll secure some short-term gains, but they won’t last because you didn’t do it the right way. Usually, when someone is in it for the short-term, they’ll jeopardize their principles because they know they’ll be out soon so they have to “get while the gettin’s good.” If you want to win for a very, very long time, plant your flag now and know things will work out in everyone’s favor when you focus on being around forever. You can’t lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, and coerce because there is nowhere to hide when you plan on being around indefinitely.

Men, I know there are more solutions and mindsets to living as a “maker” than this but I wanted to get the conversation started. I want to hear from you. What are your best tips for becoming more of a maker in your life and the lives of those you care about?

This stuff isn’t always easy, especially when you’re working to overcome mindsets that have been indoctrinated into you since childhood, but with a little thought and a lot of effort, you can become someone who gives more than he takes and has the honor of calling yourself a man.

The post Makers and Takers appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There are two types of people in this world: makers and takers. The reality is that we’ve all been a bit of both in our lives. But I think more and more I’m seeing the pendulum switch in society from most of us being makers to most of us being takers. There are two types of people in this world: makers and takers. The reality is that we’ve all been a bit of both in our lives. But I think more and more I’m seeing the pendulum switch in society from most of us being makers to most of us being takers. It’s not sustainable. It’s … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 15:18
155: Supporting our Nation’s Warriors | Phil Randazzo https://www.orderofman.com/155-supporting-nations-warriors-phil-randazzo/ Tue, 06 Mar 2018 11:30:40 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3998 https://www.orderofman.com/155-supporting-nations-warriors-phil-randazzo/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/155-supporting-nations-warriors-phil-randazzo/feed/ 0 <p>I spent time in the military, including an active-duty tour to Iraq in 2005-2006. I know how hard it can be transition from service to civilian life. One of the most challenging things for me was to go from having a clear sense of direction and purpose to not knowing what my next battle was. …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/155-supporting-nations-warriors-phil-randazzo/">155: Supporting our Nation’s Warriors | Phil Randazzo</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I spent time in the military, including an active-duty tour to Iraq in 2005-2006. I know how hard it can be transition from service to civilian life. One of the most challenging things for me was to go from having a clear sense of direction and purpose to not knowing what my next battle was. I know a lot of our nation’s warriors feel the same.

Today I talk with my good friend, Phil Randazzo, about his 15-year mission to help our military members successfully transition into civilian life. I believe so much in what he and his organization are doing that I now sit on the board of advisors for American Dream U. Today we talk about why transitioning out of the military is so challenging, what our military members should be doing prior to leaving service, how they can find a new battle to fight, and how we can support our nation’s warriors.

“I thought, as civilians, we could do more.” Tweet That— Phil Randazzo

Phil Randazzo

Phil RandazzoGentlemen, I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am to introduce you to my friend Phil Randazzo.

Him and I met about a year ago through some mutual acquaintances and since began working together with his organization, American Dream U.

Phil is an extremely successful business owner working in the financial services industry but more important than that is his 15-year journey to help transition our nation’s warriors. I can tell you that this is a man who has his heart in the right place and is genuinely concerned with helping our veterans.

He’s been invited to the White House, testified in front of Congress on the behalf of veterans, been given a key to the city of Las Vegas, and commissioned as a member of the Veterans Service Commission. So, needless to say, he’s committed to the work and I couldn’t be more proud to be part of his organization and call him a friend.

“[Our veterans] have what this country is looking for. We’re looking for leadership.” Tweet That— Phil Randazzo

Show Highlights

  • Why transitioning out of the military is so challenging
  • Why our veterans discount their experience from the military
  • What obligations and responsibilities we have to take care of our warriors
  • How building a new tribe is critical for veterans
  • The best steps to take prior to transitioning from service
  • How to develop a new sense of purpose beyond the military
  • Why suicide rates are so high among veterans and what to do about it
  • How to find a new battle to fight
  • How to harness technology to launch a successful second career
  • Business owners’ perspectives on hiring military members
  • What valuable translatable skills military members possess

“I’d rather hire a one-term Marine, Airman, or Soldier with the experience they’ve had than someone with a liberal arts degree.” Tweet That— Phil Randazzo

Mission Next

Uprising

Guys, the Uprising is now roughly 60 days away (it’s going to be held May 3rd-6th, 2018) and we have 8 spots remaining. If you’re new to the show or Order of Man, the Uprising is a 3 1/2 day experience (and we call it an “experience” for a reason) in the mountains of southern Utah.

This isn’t your typical corporate retreat where you sit down in some stuffy conference room and hear people talk at you for 3 days. This is an intense and involved experience where you’ll team up with other men and compete against other teams in physical, mental, and emotional challenges designed to push you and get you thinking about life differently.

Of the men who have come to these events in the past, I can tell you that their lives were very stagnant and the 3 1/2 days the spent with me and our team gave them the jolt the needed to kickstart their relationships, their health, their wealth, and their lives in general.

You need to get signed up quickly because registration is going to shut down soon. We only have 8 more spots. You can claim yours at www.orderofman.com/uprising. We hope to see you there.

“I was chasing the wrong things. I was chasing financial succes. I was trying to be as succesful as the people I hung around with. It was a losing game.” Tweet That— Phil Randazzo

Connect with Phil Randazzo

“This country is lacking leadership. I think this generation of Iraq and Afgan vets can provide that leadership.” Tweet That— Phil Randazzo

The post 155: Supporting our Nation’s Warriors | Phil Randazzo appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I spent time in the military, including an active-duty tour to Iraq in 2005-2006. I know how hard it can be transition from service to civilian life. One of the most challenging things for me was to go from having a clear sense of direction and purpose... I spent time in the military, including an active-duty tour to Iraq in 2005-2006. I know how hard it can be transition from service to civilian life. One of the most challenging things for me was to go from having a clear sense of direction and purpose to not knowing what my next battle was. … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 43:43
Boys Need Dads https://www.orderofman.com/boys-need-dads/ Fri, 02 Mar 2018 11:30:20 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=4002 https://www.orderofman.com/boys-need-dads/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/boys-need-dads/feed/ 0 <p>I’m sure you’re well-aware of the drug abuse, suicide, and violent crime rates with regards to young men. It’s all over the headlines these days and, with the latest school shooting in Florida, it’s become impossible to ignore. There is a real problem here. And, while the rest of the world focuses on gun control …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/boys-need-dads/">Boys Need Dads</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I’m sure you’re well-aware of the drug abuse, suicide, and violent crime rates with regards to young men. It’s all over the headlines these days and, with the latest school shooting in Florida, it’s become impossible to ignore. There is a real problem here.

And, while the rest of the world focuses on gun control and legislation in hopes of putting a bandaid over the problems that are becoming all too common, I’d encourage us here within the Order of Man to look at the root of the problem, which I believe is fatherless homes.

Let’s take a look at some of the statistics:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census).
  • 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes (Center for Disease Control).
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report).
  • 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988).
  • 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction).

I could go on and on about this but I think you can see that there is a problem with fathers being absent in the home. I do want to be very clear here, this is not intended to put down women who are raising children on their own. My mom did for much of my early life and she did a terrific job. That said, the facts are the facts. And this is what the data is telling us.

I know I could also talk with you about the impacts on girls when fathers are absent but for the sake of this discussion, I want to talk about boys exclusively because it’s boys who are perpetuating much of the problems we see in society. I believe the solution is homes where fathers are present and engaged.

What I wanted to do today is connect the dots between boys and fathers and why this relationship is so critical for the well-being of our sons and society as a whole. Here are 5 reasons why dads are needed now more than ever.

Protect Children from Danger

One of our primary responsibility as fathers is to protect our children from danger. Not shield them or bubble wrap them from the difficulties of life but to keep our children safe from physical and emotional harm.

When we are not present for our children the way we should be, these dangers creep into their lives and expose them to horrible atrocities no child should ever have to witness. Left unchecked, these negative experiences pour over into their adult lives and damage the way they view the world moving forward.

Harness the Power of Masculinity into Productive Outcomes

There is raw masculine energy coursing through our sons’ veins. This is a good thing. It’s that masculine power and energy that, when fully developed, will allow them to go into the world the way a healthy man does and produce for himself, his family, and his community.

When these energies are not harnessed and focused, they are released in negative, destructive, and sometimes violent ways.

Our boys are being raised by women at home and in the school system who will never fully understand the masculine energy our boys possess. They’re told to sit down, shut up, do as they’re told, and not to act out when in all reality, the potential energy they wield is being suppressed and will find a way to escape in unproductive ways.

If our sons are angry, good. It’s okay to be angry. It’s our job to teach them how to harness that anger. If our sons are feeling threatened, good. It’s okay to feel threatened. It’s our job to teach them how to equip themselves to deal with threats. If our sons are feeling rage, good. It’s okay to experience rage. It’s our job to channel that rage into a healthy outcome.

A boy can only learn how to harness this power from someone who has already learned how to harness this power. It’s like asking someone who’s never played the guitar to teach someone how to play the guitar (only at a much higher stakes). A student cannot learn from a teacher who does not know.

Help Develop Hard and Soft Skills Required to Succeed

A man’s job is to protect, provide, and preside. He cannot be capable of doing so unless he learns the specific skills required to succeed at all three. And, unless a boy learns what those skills are, he will wander around aimlessly in life until he figures out how or does something stupid in order to find the meaning and significance he so desperately craves.

Basic automotive and home repair, using a firearm, lifting weights, shaking another person’s hand, becoming self-reliant, holding a conversation, telling a joke, chopping firewood, developing discipline, courting a woman, doing homework, becoming situationally aware, throwing a punch, displaying self-restraint, and so much more are critical to a young man’s development in life. I know I’m missing other skills here but this is simply a starting point with regards to teaching a boy what he needs to know in order to protect, provide, and preside.

Foster Physical, Mental, and Emotional Strength

Let’s face it, life is tough. That’s the reality of the hand we’re dealt. I know parents who spend so much time coddling their children that they’re actually doing them a disservice in the later years because they’ve never built up the physical, mental, and emotional strength to thrive on their own.

Now, let’s look at human nature. When a boy falls off his bike and scrapes his knee, what does mom do? She rushes over to hold him and kiss hiss booboo. But a man doesn’t rush over at all. In fact, he doesn’t even move. He tells his son to get up, wipe himself off and get back on the bike.

Please don’t misunderstand me, there is a time and place for both. But that’s not what’s happening. What’s happening is that our boys are becoming weaker and weaker because they’re only getting one side of the equation (the soft, effeminate side).

Then, when the boy enters the real world and someone challenges him or makes him feel uncomfortable, he tries to run to mommy. But mommy isn’t around so what does he do? He lashes out like an animal backed into a corner because he doesn’t know any better. And, he ends up leaving a wake of destruction in his path.

Dads, your job is not to keep your boys out of difficult situations, it’s to expose them to them in controlled environments. This way, when life gets hard, your sons have acquired the fortitude, toughness, and grit to face whatever the challenge is on his feet.

Enforce Consequences for Poor Choices

There are consequences for our choices. Our job as fathers is to enforce those consequences on our children. It’s not easy. It’s not fun. But who said this portion of the job was supposed to be? I see kids yelling at their parents in grocery stores. I see other kids quit on schooling or sports teams because it gets a little hard. I see moms and dads to swoop in and blame school districts when little Timmy makes a poor choice.

If my children are going to make stupid decisions (and they will, just like we did), I want them to fully experience and live in the result of those choices so they don’t do it again. That’s the point. If it hurts to do dumb things, maybe they won’t keep doing dumb things.

People will say, “Ryan, how could you be so insensitive?” You tell me what’s worse, letting my children live with the results of their actions or giving them the false sense of reality that they can do whatever the hell they want with no repercussions?

I realize I’m skimming the surface on a very deep and multi-dimensional subject. These trends of crime, drug abuse, and violence are not going to change overnight but if we, as men, can step up into the role of father and exemplify masculine behavior, we will be giving our boys a leg up as they venture off on their own to start their families, run their businesses, and lead their communities.

I’m fully on board for exploring what needs to be done about the consequences of a fatherless society but until we address the real root of the problem, we’re going to continue to see the horrors we’ve only begun to experience now. There is no amount of legislation that can replace the power of a well-fathered home.

Our job as fathers is to protect our children, harness the power of masculinity into productive outcomes, help develop hard and soft skills required to succeed, foster physical, mental, and emotional strength, and enforce consequences for poor choices.

The post Boys Need Dads appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I’m sure you’re well-aware of the drug abuse, suicide, and violent crime rates with regards to young men. It’s all over the headlines these days and, with the latest school shooting in Florida, it’s become impossible to ignore. I’m sure you’re well-aware of the drug abuse, suicide, and violent crime rates with regards to young men. It’s all over the headlines these days and, with the latest school shooting in Florida, it’s become impossible to ignore. There is a real problem here. And, while the rest of the world focuses on gun control … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 16:15
154: Own the Day, Own Your Life | Aubrey Marcus https://www.orderofman.com/154-day-life-aubrey-marcus/ Tue, 27 Feb 2018 11:30:36 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3977 https://www.orderofman.com/154-day-life-aubrey-marcus/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/154-day-life-aubrey-marcus/feed/ 0 <p>So many of us focus on the end result – some noble goal we wish to pursue. And, while there’s value in knowing where you’re going, my guest today makes the case for measuring your successes in the smallest unit of measurement possible. Most of you know Aubrey Marcus, founder of Onnit. He is back …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/154-day-life-aubrey-marcus/">154: Own the Day, Own Your Life | Aubrey Marcus</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

So many of us focus on the end result – some noble goal we wish to pursue. And, while there’s value in knowing where you’re going, my guest today makes the case for measuring your successes in the smallest unit of measurement possible.

Most of you know Aubrey Marcus, founder of Onnit. He is back again to talk about how he has managed to build so much success in his life. Today, we talk about the key to starting your day off right, the benefits of unconventional training, napping, supplements, weird lunches, and how to own the day and own your life.

“The day is the basic indivisible unit of our life. It’s all about the day.” Tweet That— Aubrey Marcus

Aubrey Marcus

Aubrey MarcusI’ve got a repeat guest for you today and one most of you know.

His name is Aubrey Marcus and he is the founder of Onnit, which specializes in food, supplements, equipment, and apparel.

The more I get to know this guy, the more I’m intrigued about how he produces results in his life and the interesting and sometimes strange way in which he experiments with everything that he can.

He’s a multi-sport athlete, a philosopher, a podcaster, a business owner, and author, and somewhat of a scientist when it comes to achieving total human optimization in his own life and the millions of people he’s working hard to inspire.

“The only way to tackle real transformation is to look at that indivisible unit and ask ‘how can I level up that one day?'” Tweet That— Aubrey Marcus

Show Highlights

  • Why focusing on the smallest unit of measurement is critical
  • The key to starting the day correctly
  • The power of hydrating, breathing, and freezing
  • Where and how supplements come into play
  • Utilizing drive time to your advantage
  • How eating a weird lunch will serve you so well
  • How to be more effecient through utilizing daily napping
  • The benefits of unconvential physical training
  • How to turn your life into an experimentation
  • Building a powerful environment to attract powerful people
  • How to own your life rather than it owning you

“You have to forgive the past and realize you deserve to be the type of person that can change, that can be that individual that you want to be.” Tweet That— Aubrey Marcus

Own the Day, Own Your Life

Uprising

By now, you’ve heard me talk about our 3 1/2 day experience in the mountains of Southern Utah. But the question remains, have you signed up yet? This will be our third Uprising experience and it’s designed to push and test you on every facet of life.

As of this recording we have less than 10 spots remaining and we’d be honored to have you out. But not only that, this will literally transform your life. We all are a collection of our thoughts, behaviors, patterns, and experiences and, if you have any hope of producing a new type of result in your life, you’re going to have to create new experiences.

At the Uprising, we’ll be doing physical challenges, team competitions, survival training, medical training, and so much more all designed to give you a new frame of reference for succeeding in your life.

If you’re interested in learning more, head to www.orderofman.com/uprising. See you there.

“If I’m scared – not because of actual danger but it’s something that frightens be – then that’s a great sign that I need to move towards that thing.” Tweet That— Aubrey Marcus

Connect with Aubrey Marcus

“Resistence is just a part of this experience. In life the resitence typically comes from within.” Tweet That— Aubrey Marcus

The post 154: Own the Day, Own Your Life | Aubrey Marcus appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
So many of us focus on the end result – some noble goal we wish to pursue. And, while there’s value in knowing where you’re going, my guest today makes the case for measuring your successes in the smallest unit of measurement possible. So many of us focus on the end result – some noble goal we wish to pursue. And, while there’s value in knowing where you’re going, my guest today makes the case for measuring your successes in the smallest unit of measurement possible. Most of you know Aubrey Marcus, founder of Onnit. He is back … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 46:55
10 Steps to Reclaiming Masculinity https://www.orderofman.com/10-steps-reclaiming-masculinity/ Fri, 23 Feb 2018 11:30:53 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3974 https://www.orderofman.com/10-steps-reclaiming-masculinity/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/10-steps-reclaiming-masculinity/feed/ 0 <p>I think we can all agree that men and masculinity are on the defensive. There is a disturbing trend in society that says we are simply not needed. This could not be further from the truth. And, unfortunately, it will take something catastrophic before society, as a whole, realizes the value of strong and noble …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/10-steps-reclaiming-masculinity/">10 Steps to Reclaiming Masculinity</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I think we can all agree that men and masculinity are on the defensive. There is a disturbing trend in society that says we are simply not needed. This could not be further from the truth. And, unfortunately, it will take something catastrophic before society, as a whole, realizes the value of strong and noble men.

I’m not interested in waiting until that happens because I believe our job as men is to provide, even if it isn’t all that appreciated. Unfortunately, we’ll continue to see the ramifications of a lack of men and masculinity: suicide rates, drug use, violent crimes, school drop out rate, child abuse, etc.

So, in an attempt to begin the dialogue around reversing the trend, I made a post on Instagram with ten steps to reclaiming masculinity. Here they are:

DISMISS THE FALLACY THAT MEN AND WOMEN ARE THE SAME

Men and women are not the same. Period. That doesn’t mean men are better than women or that women are better than men. It simply means that we’re different. This debate (if it ever should have been one) has been settled – scientifically settled. I can’t say it any more plainly. We’re different and it’s time we start playing into those differences rather than pretending they don’t exist.

EMBRACE MASCULINE VIRTUES IN OURSELVES AND OUR BOYS

Grit, toughness, fortitude, dominance, aggression, strength. These are all virtues I would consider masculine. Does that mean that women can’t possess the virtues? Of course not. There are feminine virtues men have the capacity for expressing too: love, kindness, compassion, and empathy, to name a few. Men and women do not have an exclusive right to a set of virtues but we, as men, are naturally inclined to lean more towards the masculine virtues. For good reason too. It’s our job to protect, provide, and preside which means that these virtues will be utilized more often than our female counterparts. We should not dismiss these masculine virtues as inherently bad just because a few boys haven’t learned to harness them correctly – mainstream media would call that toxic masculinity. I call it childlike behavior.

TEACH AND MODEL ACCURATE GENDER ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES

I get a lot of push back on this one because people say there are no gender roles – or gender for that matter. I disagree. It’s very clear to me that we, as men, are more capable and likely of stepping into the role of protector, provider, and presider. If we don’t foster this in our young men and continue to allow them to be raised exclusively by women, they will not learn how to harness the biological hardwiring (and, yes, that is a real thing, contrary to what some may have you believe).

REJECT THE ASSAULT AND DISMISSAL OF MASCULINITY

Yes, there are those who are working hard to reject masculinity and men altogether. The quieter we are about this, the more likely we allow the loud minority to dictate the tone of the conversation. I refuse to sit back and let a group or angry, bitter, and resentful people to tell me how valuable I, as a man, am in the collective advancement of society. This is why I do this work and ask that you share it with everyone that you know.

LEAD OUR FAMILIES, BUSINESSES, AND COMMUNITIES EFFECTIVELY

As I mentioned before, we are presiders, which is synonymous with leadership. It is apparent to me that men are neglecting the leadership responsibilities inside the walls of the homes, businesses, and in their communities. We are called to lead. We need to learn how to do it effectively and step into that calling.

SERVE THE YOUNG MEN IN OUR NEIGHBORHOODS

The amount of young men growing up without father figures is alarmingly high. If these boys don’t have male influences in their homes, they will never learn how to harness all that makes them male for the betterment of themselves, their families, and society. This is why it’s crucial we step up to serve our young men whether it’s through teaching, coaching, mentorship programs, Boys Scouts, and other organizations that serve the young men in our area. And, as another point of interest, we need to work towards maintaining programs dedicated to serving boys exclusively. Boy Scouts of America has begun to lose its way. We must help maintain its integrity or find other organizations what will.

ONLY HAVE CHILDREN ONCE WE ARE PHYSICALLY, FINANCIALLY, MENTALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY PREPARED TO DO SO

I got a lot of push back on this one too. A lot of people said, “if you wait until you are ready, you’ll never have kids.” But notice I didn’t say “ready.” I said “mature enough.” You don’t need to have everything figured out but you damn well better be capable of taking care of the obligation that children are. If your mind, body, and bank account aren’t able to support bringing children into this world, it’s better for everyone to wait.

COMMIT TO OUR MARRIAGES AND DO EVERYTHING WE CAN TO HONOR OUR MARITAL VOWS

Our children have the right to be raised by a father and a mother because both bring something powerful to the equation that is the family dynamic. I realize that there are situations in which it doesn’t and can’t work out but, I urge anyone getting married to think long and hard about their ability to work through the hard times – and consider whether your potential spouse has the ability to do so as well. Fatherless homes are a plague on society and, when you look at the numbers, it’s not hard to see why our youth (especially our boys) seem to be struggling so much. Honor your commitments to your spouse or don’t commit at all.

HOLD OURSELVES AND OUR BOYS TO THE HIGHEST MORAL AND ETHICAL STANDARDS

There are consequences for our choices. If we don’t live by those consequences and teach our boys to do the same, we’ll continue to see many of the problems we see when it comes to crime rates, violence, mistreatment of women, and failing academics. It’s easy to let ourselves and others off the hook but easy does not equal better.

CONTINUALLY DEVELOP THE SKILLS AND ABILITY TO PROTECT, PROVIDE, AND PRESIDE OVER OURSELVES AND THOSE WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY FOR

This is a lifelong journey and our progression will never be complete. The fact is you are a protector, provider, and presider. And, if you’re going to be those things, you might as well be the best. How do you become the best? You practice, you learn, and you implement. Don’t shirk your responsibilities, don’t shy away from leadership, don’t neglect your responsibilities. Boys run away from the hard things. Men run towards them.

The post 10 Steps to Reclaiming Masculinity appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I think we can all agree that men and masculinity are on the defensive. There is a disturbing trend in society that says we are simply not needed. This could not be further from the truth. And, unfortunately, I think we can all agree that men and masculinity are on the defensive. There is a disturbing trend in society that says we are simply not needed. This could not be further from the truth. And, unfortunately, it will take something catastrophic before society, as a whole, realizes the value of strong and noble … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 15:11
Developing Physical and Emotional Intelligence | Josh Trent https://www.orderofman.com/153-developing-physical-emotional-intelligence-josh-trent/ Tue, 20 Feb 2018 11:30:34 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3958 https://www.orderofman.com/153-developing-physical-emotional-intelligence-josh-trent/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/153-developing-physical-emotional-intelligence-josh-trent/feed/ 0 <p>We all know health and wellness are important when it comes to stepping into our full potential but most of us tend to think it ends with eating right and exercising. While those elements are certainly important on our road to a healthy life, it goes well beyond lifting weights and eating salads. My guest …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/153-developing-physical-emotional-intelligence-josh-trent/">Developing Physical and Emotional Intelligence | Josh Trent</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

We all know health and wellness are important when it comes to stepping into our full potential but most of us tend to think it ends with eating right and exercising. While those elements are certainly important on our road to a healthy life, it goes well beyond lifting weights and eating salads.

My guest today is Josh Trent. He is the founder of Wellness Force and is focused on helping people across the planet lead healthy lives. Today we talk about connecting the head and heart, how to identify which beliefs are serving you, how to harness both the beast and the spirit inside all men, and how to develop physical and emotional intelligence.

“How do I take what happened to me – the stories, the beliefs, the events – and use them to my advantage.” Tweet That— Josh Trent

Josh Trent

Josh TrentMy guest today is the founder of Wellness Force, Josh Trent. Josh and I met at the Spartan World Championship and since the minute I met him, I’ve been blown away with his energy and enthusiasm for life and the desire to live it well.

Throughout his 14 years inside the health and wellness Josh has helped thousands of men understand and develop physical and emotional intelligence.

His knowledge and expertise goes well beyond what every other “fitness guru” will tell you as he takes a more well-rounded approach to developing the body, mind, and soul.

He’s worked with and interview hundreds of the sharpest minds in the wellness industry and has been on his own personal journey and transformation which you’ll hear more of in our interview.

“As men, we need each other. It’s a dying art form that groups of men come together.” Tweet That— Josh Trent

Show Highlights

  • What the term “wellness” actually means
  • How to develop physical and emotional intelligence
  • How to connect “head to the heart”
  • How to identify what beliefs and actions are serving you
  • The power of a technology fast
  • How to develop more confidence
  • How to reconcile ownership and kindness
  • How to use the past for forward progression
  • How to harness both the beast and the spirit
  • Using the process of reflection for growth
  • Why transforming the mind leads to a transformation everywhere else

“Don’t silence your inner young man.” Tweet That— Josh Trent

Uprising

Men, it’s that time of the year again for the annual Order of Man Uprising. In case you haven’t heard of it, this is a 3 1/2 day immersive experience in the mountains of Southern Utah designed to test and push you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s going to be held on May 3rd-6th, 2018.

This is the only one we’re going to be doing this year so, if you are even remotely interested, now is the time to sign up as we’ve already locked in half of our spots and only started mentioning it last week.

All you have to do is get to Las Vegas. From there, we’ll pick you up take you to our lodge and spend three days working on everything from mindset, to physical fitness, to defense and survival skills, to communication skills.

And, you’ll connect with 28 men from all over the country who will be in this thing with you, working with, and in some ways competing against you.

If you want to learn more and lock in your seat, head to www.orderofman.com/uprising. Again, that’s www.orderofman.com/uprising. But, do it quick as I expect to have this thing sold out fairly quickly.

“I hope we’re never satisfied as men – that we’re always moving to the next phase, the next chapter.” Tweet That— Josh Trent

Connect with Josh Trent

“Be responsible for your environment. Be in true ownership of  your environment.” Tweet That— Josh Trent

The post Developing Physical and Emotional Intelligence | Josh Trent appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
We all know health and wellness are important when it comes to stepping into our full potential but most of us tend to think it ends with eating right and exercising. While those elements are certainly important on our road to a healthy life, We all know health and wellness are important when it comes to stepping into our full potential but most of us tend to think it ends with eating right and exercising. While those elements are certainly important on our road to a healthy life, it goes well beyond lifting weights and eating salads. My guest … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 45:35
Connecting with Powerful People https://www.orderofman.com/connecting-powerful-people/ Fri, 16 Feb 2018 11:30:26 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3965 https://www.orderofman.com/connecting-powerful-people/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/connecting-powerful-people/feed/ 0 <p>We’ve all heard the adage that you are the average of your five closest friends. I don’t take that too literally but I do know that when I surround myself with powerful people, life changes. There was a time in my life where I lacked any real intentionality about who I surrounded myself with and …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/connecting-powerful-people/">Connecting with Powerful People</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

We’ve all heard the adage that you are the average of your five closest friends. I don’t take that too literally but I do know that when I surround myself with powerful people, life changes. There was a time in my life where I lacked any real intentionality about who I surrounded myself with and the results (or lack thereof) showed.

Since those days, I’m made a deliberate and strategic decision to find people who are thriving in ways I want to thrive and put into action some strategies that have connected me with New York Times Bestselling Authors, elite warriors and athletes, multi-millionaire business owners, and, frankly, some of the most successful people on the planet.

The reason I want you to listen very closely to this episode is that I’m not particularly anything special. There are a lot of men out there who believe that the reason I’ve been able to connect with these people is because I’m successful. Guys, that just isn’t true. I may be experiencing some success now but when I started Order of Man, I had absolutely no track record of success. I’ve simply figured some things out and executed relentlessly.

So this isn’t something only extraordinary people can do. Whether you’re achieving huge levels of success of none at all, everyone can implement the five steps I’m going to share with you and do the same thing I’ve done.

The first point I need to make is that all of these five steps have the foundational element of adding value. I want you to focus on serving others and enhancing their lives. That’s it. At it’s most basic level, that is how you succeed and position yourself in the company with the right people. But let’s break this down even further.

Identify the Right People

Step number one is finding the right people to begin with. It’s very easy to lose intentionality about this and hang around the people you’ve always hung around. It’s easy to hangout with your buddies or your co-workers and while that might be great and fun, it may not be serving you the best.

You’re going to have to be more deliberate about your time and attention. Who do you know that is killing it on the home front? Who do you know that has a business that is absolutely exploding? Who is the wealthiest person you know? Who is the healthiest?

When you start to identify these people, you get them on your radar and can start moving into the other four areas I’m going to mention.

Look for Reasons to Connect

If you have no reason to connect with the people you identified, you’re not ever going to get on their radar. It’s not about who you know, it’s about who knows you.

One simple way to do this is go where they go, do what they do. One of the men I’ve been able to connect with and have admired for some time now is Cameron Hanes. I learned he was going to be doing a 5K in Salt Lake City last week so, I purchased the tickets, told my boys to hop in the car, and made the four hour drive to go run the race.

When I started Order of Man, I learned Brett McKay with the Art of Manliness was speaking at an event in Atlanta so, again, I purchased the tickets, made the arrangements, and went.

It really is that simple. You know where people are going to be and if you don’t, it’s easier than ever to find out. Take some time, do a little research, and put yourself in their path.

Help Them Get What They Want

Once you know who it is you want to connect with and have put yourself in their path, you need to help them get what they want – not what you want or what you think they want.

I reached out to Aubrey Marcus, founder of Onnit, for months and months with absolutely no response. But, I knew I wanted to connect with him (step 1) and followed his social media channels and emails (step 2) and found out that he was offering a paid course to help with meditation practices. I immediately reached out to his team and offered to have him on the podcast to promote his course. I also told them I’d bump my podcast lineup so that we could coordinate the launch of our conversation with the release date of his course. I heard back from them immediately and booked the interview. It went so well that I messaged him just a couple weeks ago and booked him again for a second interview for the release of his new book Own the Day, Own Your Life (that interview will be available next week so make sure you subscribe to the show).

Maintain Contact

The next step is to maintain contact with these people. This is not a “wham-bam-thank-you-mam” kind of deal here. This is a relationship you’re trying to develop and foster.

You must have a plan and system in place for maintaining contact, whether it’s through social media engagement, periodic messages or emails, a phone call, and invitation to an event, etc.

I was down in Las Vegas a couple months after my first interview with Andy Frisella. I saw a Lamborghini (he’s a car guy) in his company’s (1st Phorm) colors. I just sent him a quick text with a picture of the car and said, “Hey man, just ran across this and thought of you. Hope all is well.” That’s it. I wasn’t asking for anything. I wasn’t even asking him even to respond. I was simply putting myself back on his radar by sharing something that is significant and relevant to him.

I’ve send clipping from magazines to people. I’ve texted others when their name is dropped in a podcast they may not have been aware of. I’ve facilitated introductions that would help them along the way. I’ve offered to promote their courses. I’ve shared their material on my social media accounts. Whatever I can do to get another touch point, I’m going to do it.

Be Worthy

And, the last step I want to share with you is that you have to be worthy. I know that’s probably not the right word, but it will illustrate the point. Regardless of what you think or how fair you think it is, winners don’t hang out with losers, rich people don’t hang out with poor people, healthy people don’t hang out with unhealthy people.

I know people are going to complain and find something to find fault with in that statement but the truth is the truth. So, rather than fight it, embrace it. The best way to do this is to ask yourself, “who do I need to become?” Then, become that person.

If you want to get the attention of healthy people, you need to exercise healthy habits. If you want to hang out with successful people, you need to start getting some wins under your belt. If you want to hang out with rich people, you had better get your financial affairs in order.

I’m not suggesting you need to be at the pinnacle of your game – I’m certainly not – but you do need to start implementing the right habits and actions into your life. If you’re out of integrity with what you want and what you’re doing, the high-quality people you’re trying to attract will not respond, plain and simple.

So that’s it guys, five very simple yet effective strategies for connecting with powerful people. This isn’t going to happen overnight (I’ve been working at it for three years) but if you implement this thought process and these actions day in and day out, I have no doubt you will begin to connect with the right people and, by default, become that man you’re working to become.

The post Connecting with Powerful People appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
We’ve all heard the adage that you are the average of your five closest friends. I don’t take that too literally but I do know that when I surround myself with powerful people, life changes. There was a time in my life where I lacked any real intention... We’ve all heard the adage that you are the average of your five closest friends. I don’t take that too literally but I do know that when I surround myself with powerful people, life changes. There was a time in my life where I lacked any real intentionality about who I surrounded myself with and … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 15:07
152: The Future of Higher Education | Adam Braun https://www.orderofman.com/152-future-higher-education-adam-braun/ Tue, 13 Feb 2018 11:30:11 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3948 https://www.orderofman.com/152-future-higher-education-adam-braun/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/152-future-higher-education-adam-braun/feed/ 0 <p>Higher education seems to be quite the topic these days. With the rising costs of education and the debate as to whether or not students are learning applicable skills, it seems inevitable that we’ll see a shift away from traditional higher education to something more practical and affordable. I’ve been an advocate for trade schools …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/152-future-higher-education-adam-braun/">152: The Future of Higher Education | Adam Braun</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Higher education seems to be quite the topic these days. With the rising costs of education and the debate as to whether or not students are learning applicable skills, it seems inevitable that we’ll see a shift away from traditional higher education to something more practical and affordable.

I’ve been an advocate for trade schools and apprenticeships programs for some time now but my guest today gives us yet another option to the challenges our young men and women face on the road to higher education. My guest today is the founder of MissionU, a one-year higher educational program that gives students the skills and experience to succeed after college. Today we talk about the rising cost of education and what can be done about it, how education institutions and students can and should work together towards solutions, bringing back the human element to schooling, and the future of higher education.

“3/4 of all college grads believe universities fail to prepare them for work in the real world.” Tweet That— Adam Braun

Adam Braun

Adam BraunMy guest today is Adam Bruan. Adam is a New York Times Bestselling author, an entrepreneur, and a speaker.

He is the founder of Pencils of Promise, a “for-purpose” organization dedicated to building schools around the world. In fact, they have now built over 400 schools.

What’s even more impressive is that he took $25 and turned it into this organization that has generated $30,000,000 of funds raised.

Since then, he has turned his attention to the challenges surrounding higher education and has dedicated himself to creating solutions to some of the world’s most challenging problems.

You’re going to hear the passion and excitement in his voice as Adam and I have a conversation everyone would agree needs to be had about where to go with our post-secondary education.

“I want [people] to have a clear path to their future and one that doesn’t position them with massive, crushing debt.” Tweet That— Adam Braun

Show Highlights

  • Why traditional higher education is becoming less relevant
  • The future of higher education
  • Enhancing the human element to higher education
  • The rising cost of college and how to reduce it
  • How to create win-wins between educational institutions and potential employers
  • Utilizing technology to make education more efficient
  • The power of teaching “soft skills” in college
  • How colleges have an obligation to teach applicable skills
  • Where traditional education is falling short
  • How educational institutions and students can work together for solutions
  • The power of investing in student’s education

“Most of the benefit of college was in the relationships I build – it was what happened outside of the classroom.” Tweet That— Adam Braun

Uprising

I’m stoked to announce the dates for our third Order of Man Uprising. If you’re not familiar with what this is, it’s a 3 1/2 immersive experience designed to make you, as a man, bleed, sweat, and cry. And, let’s be honest, most men haven’t done either for too long.

All you need to do is get to Las Vegas and we’ll pick you up, ship you to the mountains of Southern Utah and put you through some of the most physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging scenarios we can come up with.

This is all designed to give you the tools, the guidance, the framework, and the direction to take your life to a whole new level.

If you’re interested in joining us, the dates are May 3-6, 2018. You can head to www.orderofman.com/uprising to get more information. Again, the dates are May 3-6, 2018 and you can get the details at www.orderofman.com/uprising. I hope to see you there.

“Colleges have become these all-encompassing service providers. A lot of the increased cost is on the administrative side.” Tweet That— Adam Braun

Connect with Adam Braun

“Giving someone hard, technical skills might help them get a foot in the door but it doesn’t actually help them thrive throughout their career.” Tweet That— Adam Braun

The post 152: The Future of Higher Education | Adam Braun appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Higher education seems to be quite the topic these days. With the rising costs of education and the debate as to whether or not students are learning applicable skills, it seems inevitable that we’ll see a shift away from traditional higher education t... Higher education seems to be quite the topic these days. With the rising costs of education and the debate as to whether or not students are learning applicable skills, it seems inevitable that we’ll see a shift away from traditional higher education to something more practical and affordable. I’ve been an advocate for trade schools … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 41:23
Solve Your Own Problems https://www.orderofman.com/solve-your-own-problems/ Fri, 09 Feb 2018 11:30:36 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3952 https://www.orderofman.com/solve-your-own-problems/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/solve-your-own-problems/feed/ 0 <p>It is amazing to me how quick we are to talk to other people about their issues and their problems yet we seem to be incapable of recognizing the problems in ourselves. It’s sad because we spend so much time and attention and energy on changing something that is completely outside of our control when …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/solve-your-own-problems/">Solve Your Own Problems</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

It is amazing to me how quick we are to talk to other people about their issues and their problems yet we seem to be incapable of recognizing the problems in ourselves. It’s sad because we spend so much time and attention and energy on changing something that is completely outside of our control when the real power comes from changing the thing that is entirely within our control – ourselves.

I get it. It’s easier to focus our attention elsewhere than it is on us. If we flip the mirror around and take a look at where we’re falling short, it leads to work and effort to do something about it.

If you’re talking with people about getting in shape but haven’t stepped foot into the gym in years, what right do you have to cast stones at another human being who is neglecting their health. One scenario I see all the time (because of my experience in the financial planning industry) is advisors who are giving financial advice to others while living in complete poverty themselves.

It’s disingenuous, at best, and flat out deceitful, at worst.

The thing that I think really gets in our way more than anything else when it comes to our tremendous ability to underestimate everyone else and overestimate our own abilities is this fragile little thing we all possess – our ego.

I’m here to tell you that I believe one of the biggest barriers to your success is that ego. It’s pride. It’s arrogance. It’s un unrealistic assessment of how good you actually are.

I was once in a conference room with roughly 50 other investment advisors. The man speaking at the time asked us to raise our hand if we believed that our performance was better than average. Guess how many people raised their hand? Everyone. Including myself.

And this just proves the point. Statistically only half of the room should have raised their hand but all of us did.

Why? Because we think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. When we do, we create blind spots and overlook any ability to actually improve in our areas of weakness. And, isn’t that what we should be after anyways? Improvement in our own lives?

Now, I’m not talking about an unhealthy level of criticism. This is not an opportunity to beat yourself but an opportunity to take an objective look at where you fall short and how you can improve.

That’s point number one.

Point number one is this idea and notion of influence. I think it’s safe to assume that most of the men (if not all of them) listening to this podcast have a desire to be more influential.

The first thing we do when we want to influence the way others think and or behave around us is lie. We lie about how much we actually know. We lie about our experience. We lie about our track record. We attempt to deceive people into believing more highly of us than we should.

But here’s the trap: that only works for so long until you’re caught and you end up looking more foolish than you would have if you just told the truth. You lose credibility. You lose influence. And, you end up sabotaging your own efforts.

If you really want to be more influential in your life, you’re going to have to do some things differently. You cannot continue to focus on other people and their shortcomings and you cannot continue to manipulate the truth about your performance and/or knowledge.

Here’s the good news: it’s entirely under your control. It is impossible to change another human being. You can only change yourself. And, once you do (positively or negatively) that is what people will respond to – not your weak attempts to manipulate, strong-arm, and coerce.

That’s not being influential. That’s being a dictator or tyrant. The last way to get buy-in from your family or team is to act that way. You all know what I’m talking about. Everyone listening to this has had a boss that he feared more than he respected. I’m willing to bet, when that was the case, you did the bare minimum required to keep the job – nothing more, nothing less.

On the other hand, we’ve all had bosses we’d gladly follow into battle (voluntarily) because of how that individual showed up.

Every single person understands this and yet we continue to believe the best way to create change is to get other people to see the errors of their ways. What if instead, you decided to recognize the error of yours – not to undermine your authority but to increase it.

I’d love to live in a world where more men accepted responsibility for the own faults before casting the burden of blame on others. I’m not here to tell you I’ve got this 100% pinned down myself. I certainly don’t. But I do make a conscious effort to recognize when things go wrong, it typically has more to do with me than initially thought.

Recognizing your own inadequacies does not make you a weak person. It gives you the ability to become stronger by accepting reality for what it is and doing something about it.

The post Solve Your Own Problems appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
It is amazing to me how quick we are to talk to other people about their issues and their problems yet we seem to be incapable of recognizing the problems in ourselves. It’s sad because we spend so much time and attention and energy on changing somethi... It is amazing to me how quick we are to talk to other people about their issues and their problems yet we seem to be incapable of recognizing the problems in ourselves. It’s sad because we spend so much time and attention and energy on changing something that is completely outside of our control when … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 13:32
Men are Providers https://www.orderofman.com/men-are-providers/ Fri, 02 Feb 2018 11:30:22 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3937 https://www.orderofman.com/men-are-providers/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/men-are-providers/feed/ 0 <p>Men are providers. Period. And, there’s more than one way for us to provide: Financial, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. Today, I share an excerpt from my new book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men, regarding how we, as men, can step more fully into our calling to provide for ourselves, our …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/men-are-providers/">Men are Providers</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Men are providers. Period. And, there’s more than one way for us to provide: Financial, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. Today, I share an excerpt from my new book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men, regarding how we, as men, can step more fully into our calling to provide for ourselves, our families, and our communities.

If you enjoy this excerpt, I ask that you consider picking up a copy of my new book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. And, if you already have, please leave us an Amazon review so we can get the message of masculine sovereignty out to the world.

Enjoy the excerpt.

The post Men are Providers appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Men are providers. Period. And, there’s more than one way for us to provide: Financial, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. Today, I share an excerpt from my new book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men, regarding how we, as men, Men are providers. Period. And, there’s more than one way for us to provide: Financial, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. Today, I share an excerpt from my new book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men, regarding how we, as men, can step more fully into our calling to provide for ourselves, our … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 16:39
Own the Dash | Medal of Honor Recipient, Dakota Meyer https://www.orderofman.com/own-dash-dakota-meyer/ Tue, 30 Jan 2018 11:30:07 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3904 https://www.orderofman.com/own-dash-dakota-meyer/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/own-dash-dakota-meyer/feed/ 0 <p>There are two days you have no control over – the day you’re born and the day you die. Every other day in life represents an opportunity to choose how you decide to live it. My guest today, Dakota Meyer, calls this “Own the Dash.” The dash is all the days between your date of …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/own-dash-dakota-meyer/">Own the Dash | Medal of Honor Recipient, Dakota Meyer</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There are two days you have no control over – the day you’re born and the day you die. Every other day in life represents an opportunity to choose how you decide to live it. My guest today, Dakota Meyer, calls this “Own the Dash.” The dash is all the days between your date of birth and your date of death.

Dakota Meyer is a retired Marine and the recipient of the highest military honor one could earn, the Medal of Honor. Today we talk about how he views the events that earned him that recognition, overcoming an attempted suicide, how he has redefined himself through living in service of others, and how he owns the dash.

“I was never the fastest. I was never the smartest. I never looked the best. I was never in the best shape. I just had heart.” Tweet That— Dakota Meyer

Dakota Meyer

Dakota Meyer My guest, Dakota Meyer is a Marine, a Medal of Honor recipient, a New York Times Bestselling author, a business owner, and probably one of the most humble men I’ve had the privilege of meeting.

In 2009, he and his squad were ambushed by Taliban insurgents where he learned some of  his team members were missing. He went back to find them and, in the process, rescued 12 wounded and provided cover for another 24 Marines and Soldiers.

I was absolutely blown away with his perspective on those events (which was not what I expected) and the subsequent depression and failed suicide attempt that followed. Since then, Dakota has gone on to found a successful construction company and has now dedicated himself to serving others and allowing others to use his platform to share messages of inspiration across this nation.

Sit back and buckle up. Dakota is one of the most real humans I’ve ever met as he shares some of his personal stories (good and bad) that have made him who he is today.

“My goal is to change the world and if that’s too big for you to believe in, you don’t need to be on my team.” Tweet That— Dakota Meyer

Show Highlights

  • What it means to “Own the Dash”
  • Turning adversity into opportunity
  • The value of service to others in overcoming struggle
  • How humility allows you to thrive
  • Not using PTSD as an excuse to self-destruct
  • Overcoming a suicide attempt
  • The power of owning your failures
  • How to make better decisions
  • How to find and connect with the right people
  • Implementing a team in your life
  • How legacy can drive you to do great things

“No politician is ever going to make America great again. It’s already great and I’m going to show the world why it is by showing all these incredible people who make up America.” Tweet That— Dakota Meyer

Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men

As most of you know by now, we’re very close to the launch of my first book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men (February 1st, 2018) and I could not be more proud of the way it turned out. From the exterior cover to the interior layout to the message and words used, this is a book that will impact millions of men across the planet.

I wrote it from personal experience in living my life without the control we are all born with. We, as men, have given away so much of our power in the form of lies, excuses, and rationalizations designed to keep us safe and comfortable.

This book is about reclaiming that power and sovereignty by stripping away the lies we tell ourselves and adhering to a code of 13 virtues designed to help a man wrestle back ultimate ownership in his life.

If you’re interested in downloading the introductory chapter for free and being notified when the book is available, head to www.orderofman.com/book.

“You have to own your failures too.” Tweet That— Dakota Meyer

Connect with Dakota Meyer

“One day you’re going to be tested and whether you succeed or fail has already been determined. It’s determined by all the millions of decisions you’ve made up to that point.” Tweet That— Dakota Meyer

The post Own the Dash | Medal of Honor Recipient, Dakota Meyer appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There are two days you have no control over – the day you’re born and the day you die. Every other day in life represents an opportunity to choose how you decide to live it. My guest today, Dakota Meyer, calls this “Own the Dash. There are two days you have no control over – the day you’re born and the day you die. Every other day in life represents an opportunity to choose how you decide to live it. My guest today, Dakota Meyer, calls this “Own the Dash.” The dash is all the days between your date of … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 39:09
The Myth of “Toxic Masculinity” https://www.orderofman.com/myth-toxic-masculinity/ Fri, 26 Jan 2018 11:30:08 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3911 https://www.orderofman.com/myth-toxic-masculinity/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/myth-toxic-masculinity/feed/ 0 <p>There’s a term that’s being tossed around these days that’s really been bothering me the more I think about it. The term is “toxic masculinity.” The reason that term bothers me is because, frankly, it does not exist. It’s not real. And, to perpetuate the term is to do injustice to what it means to …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/myth-toxic-masculinity/">The Myth of “Toxic Masculinity”</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There’s a term that’s being tossed around these days that’s really been bothering me the more I think about it. The term is “toxic masculinity.” The reason that term bothers me is because, frankly, it does not exist. It’s not real. And, to perpetuate the term is to do injustice to what it means to be a man in the first place – which is probably why it’s pushed with such a heavy hand.

I think there’s a growing movement to undermine masculinity and the term, “toxic masculinity (and others like it)” is just one way to spread the propaganda that somehow masculinity is bad, or evil, or toxic. It just isn’t the case. Masculinity, by its very nature is good. It’s strong. It’s assertive. It’s productive. It’s caring. It’s compassion. It’s charitable. And, I’ve even go so far as to say it’s loving.

Look, a situation or man can either be “toxic” or “masculine.” Not both. The term “toxic masculinity” would be like saying “It’s light outside but kind of dark.” Or “My boss is a really nice, jerk.” Or “That guy is really wealthy but in a poor kind of way.”

They’re polar opposites and cannot possibly work in harmony or unison. Sure, all men have the capacity to be both. I’ve been an arrogant, prideful a-hole at times in my life and, separately, I’ve used masculine virtues to create productive outcomes for myself and those around me.

But never once have I displayed “toxic” behavior while simultaneously utilizing my masculine virtues. They don’t work together.

Besides, toxicity is gender neutral. It is neither masculine or feminine. If it were, the term “toxic femininity” would also be used. But it isn’t. A woman who is overly caring, kind, and compassionate (to a fault) wouldn’t be considered “toxic.” She would be considered naïve (another gender neutral term).

Not even the behavior of third-wave feminists is considered “toxic femininity.” I would consider many of the rants and ideologies as bitter, resentful, and angry but I would not categorize some of the behavior I’ve seen as feminine at all.

Oh, and I can hear the nay-sayers now. “Ryan, what about these macho guys that go around treating everyone like garbage and manipulating them to get what they want?” Yeah, what about them? That isn’t masculine behavior. It’s childish and evil but certainly not masculine.

I’ve even had people say “I guess it depends on how you define masculinity.” I suppose that’s true but no one in their right mind would define masculinity as bad. And, I guess that’s the problem, isn’t it? Many people believe that masculinity, by it’s very nature, is not good for society. To hammer the point home, these people are not in their right mind. They’re damaged. I say that not to antagonize or belittle them but to paint the picture that these people have been hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally. Or, they’ve seen others hurt. And, in order to protect themselves from future pain, they’ve created a false reality that all men – not just the ones who hurt them – are bad.

But let me explain something that many people seem to overlook – correlation does not equal causation. Just because an evil individual happens to be male does not make all males inherently evil or, only males evil. That sounds absurd even saying it but there are thousands and thousands, if not millions of people, who believe they are.

I hope, by this point, we’re all on the same page here because it’s critical we, as men, unite in an effort to share with the world all the good that is masculinity. We have allowed a few to damage the very idea of masculinity for all of us.

So, how do we do this?

Very simply, it starts with you. It starts with the way you show up in your family, your business, and your community. The fact is, there are people looking at you and watching you. They’re modeling your behavior. And, they’re framing their opinions based on how you, as a man, interact with the world.

The way we reclaim what it is to be a man is to behave like the men we’re capable of being and show to our families, our employees, and our neighbors how righteous and honorable men step up to serve others. Service is the foundation of what it means to be a man. Protect, provide, preside: all three represent a level of service to others.

There’s this growing movement to “redefine” masculinity. That’s not the problem at all. The problem is that it’s already been redefined by those who have either been damaged by men or, for whatever reason, have created a false reality about the way we as men are designed to operate with our time here on this planet.

Masculinity does not need to be redefined, it needs to be reclaimed. It won’t be found in the boy who never learns what it means to be a man. It won’t be found in the women who try to teach us what they will never fully understand. It won’t be found by the man who has created an unhealthy response to his life’s circumstances. It won’t be found by the man refuses to own his thoughts, behaviors, and actions. It will be found by you, the man who works hard to provide for his family. The man who wakes up early and stays up late to help his children do their homework. The man who risks his livelihood to create a business that will bring a product, service, and jobs to the marketplace. The man who coaches his children’s and community sports teams. The man who helps a neighbor mow their lawn. The man who loses himself in serving and lifting others up. That is what it means to be a man. And, that is what we need to reclaim from the boys who disguise themselves as men and those who are out to undermine the value we provide in our families, our businesses, and our communities.

The post The Myth of “Toxic Masculinity” appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There’s a term that’s being tossed around these days that’s really been bothering me the more I think about it. The term is “toxic masculinity.” The reason that term bothers me is because, frankly, it does not exist. It’s not real. And, There’s a term that’s being tossed around these days that’s really been bothering me the more I think about it. The term is “toxic masculinity.” The reason that term bothers me is because, frankly, it does not exist. It’s not real. And, to perpetuate the term is to do injustice to what it means to … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 10:09
149: Purpose-Driven Entrepreneurship | Pete Roberts https://www.orderofman.com/149-purpose-driven-entrepreneurship-pete-roberts/ Tue, 23 Jan 2018 11:30:20 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3900 https://www.orderofman.com/149-purpose-driven-entrepreneurship-pete-roberts/#comments https://www.orderofman.com/149-purpose-driven-entrepreneurship-pete-roberts/feed/ 1 <p>Everyone these days wants to be an entrepreneur and while I applaud their desire to go out and create something from nothing, too many men are in it for the wrong reason. Today, I’m joined by my friend and founder of Origin USA to talk about the meaning of entrepreneurship. This one is unlike a …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/149-purpose-driven-entrepreneurship-pete-roberts/">149: Purpose-Driven Entrepreneurship | Pete Roberts</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Everyone these days wants to be an entrepreneur and while I applaud their desire to go out and create something from nothing, too many men are in it for the wrong reason.

Today, I’m joined by my friend and founder of Origin USA to talk about the meaning of entrepreneurship. This one is unlike a lot of the podcast you see on entrepreneurship where you’ll hear the ten tactics every entrepreneur needs to know. We go deep into why entrepreneurship is so important, why you should and shouldn’t go into business for yourself, why vision is so critical, ethical responsibilities and obligations, and why creating a business without compromise is so critical.

“More important to me than entrepreneurship is just doing something.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

Pete Roberts

Pete RobertsGentlemen, today I am joined my my friend, entrepreneur, and founder of Origin USA, Mr. Pete Roberts.

I came across what Pete was doing through Jocko (who is Pete’s partner) and was immediately inspired by his story and message behind him and his company, Origin.

This man is not just an entrepreneur but someone who has meaning and significance about the work he’s doing to bring manufacturing back to his hometown and create a product that is entirely made in the US, without compromise.

More than anything, today you’re going to hear why he does what he does, where his idea of vision, ingenuity, and discipline come from and how the notion of business ownership ties into our responsibility as men to protect, provide, and preside in our homes, our businesses, and our communities.

Again, this isn’t a checklist-type interview of everything an entrepreneur should know and do but a conversation about ideas, responsibility, and creativity. Listen to the stories and the message Pete has to share, implement it, and I guarantee you’ll live a more fulfilled life and help those you come in contact with along the way do the same.

“I knew right out of high school I was going to have my own business because I saw freedom in owning a business.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

Show Highlights

  • The value of entrepreneurship
  • Why someone should become an entrepreneur
  • Why someone should not become an entrepreneur
  • Why striping away your ego is critical to your success
  • Developing a belief in yourself
  • How to develop more confidence
  • How to use faith to take more calculated risks
  • Our moral and ethical responsibilities as business owners
  • The value of resourcefulness
  • How to find new pathways
  • How to revive old ways of doing things and “modernizing” them
  • The value of a challenge and competition
  • Why creating a business “without compromise” is a huge competitive edge
  • How to connect with influential people using timing and value

“Technology has taken the talent and the customer and merged the two through this conduit of the internet.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men

As most of you know by now, we’re very close to the launch of my first book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men (February 1st, 2018) and I could not be more proud of the way it turned out. From the exterior cover to the interior layout to the message and words used, this is a book that will impact millions of men across the planet.

I wrote it from personal experience in living my life without the control we are all born with. We, as men, have given away so much of our power in the form of lies, excuses, and rationalizations designed to keep us safe and comfortable.

This book is about reclaiming that power and sovereignty by stripping away the lies we tell ourselves and adhering to a code of 13 virtues designed to help a man wrestle back ultimate ownership in his life.

If you’re interested in downloading the introductory chapter for free and being notified when the book is available, head to www.orderofman.com/book.

“The only reason to get into business is because you want to do more in life than what you’re able to get with your current job.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

Connect with Pete Roberts

“Greed will kill a man.” Tweet That— Pete Roberts

The post 149: Purpose-Driven Entrepreneurship | Pete Roberts appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Everyone these days wants to be an entrepreneur and while I applaud their desire to go out and create something from nothing, too many men are in it for the wrong reason. Today, I’m joined by my friend and founder of Origin USA to talk about the meanin... Everyone these days wants to be an entrepreneur and while I applaud their desire to go out and create something from nothing, too many men are in it for the wrong reason. Today, I’m joined by my friend and founder of Origin USA to talk about the meaning of entrepreneurship. This one is unlike a … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 44:00
A Crash Course in Confidence https://www.orderofman.com/crash-course-confidence/ Fri, 19 Jan 2018 11:30:11 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3897 https://www.orderofman.com/crash-course-confidence/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/crash-course-confidence/feed/ 0 <p>One topic I see talked about more than just about any other is that of building confidence. It seems that more and more men are lacking the confidence they desire in their lives. I think there’s a lot of reasons for this so today, I thought I’d share with you why we seem to be …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/crash-course-confidence/">A Crash Course in Confidence</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

One topic I see talked about more than just about any other is that of building confidence. It seems that more and more men are lacking the confidence they desire in their lives. I think there’s a lot of reasons for this so today, I thought I’d share with you why we seem to be experiencing more of that, and give you some very quick and actionable tips in order to develop confidence and, of course, the results that stem from it.

More than anything, you’ve got to understand that you are not entitle to confidence. I know you may think you know that but it’s amazing to me how many men seem to think being confident is something men are born with and that some men are just inherently confident.

I think that has some truth to it. Some men are born with a predisposition to be more confident in their lives but I believe the bigger variable to building and developing confidence is the ability to take action despite fear.

See, it’s my belief that confidence is the natural by-product of action. A lot of guys seem to think it’s the confidence that comes first. It’s not. It’s courage.

In order to foster confidence in your life, you need to display courage to take action, nothing more, nothing less.

Men will ask, “How do I get more confident around women?” Or, “How do I gain confidence in my ability to start a business, ask for a promotion, take calculated risks, or just in myself?”

The answer is that confidence is earned. It’s earned by taking part in the very activity you lack confidence in. So, if you want to gain confidence with women, you need to spend more time with women. If you want to gain confidence in your ability to start a business, you need to start a business and ask for people to do business with you.

It’s going to be awkward at first. You’re going to look a little foolish. But, remember, the guys who have confidence have already gone through that stage. It’s a mistake to believe they haven’t.

I remember going into the gym for the first time in 5-6 years (I still have the picture to prove it). I was so hesitant to go in because I knew how bad it had gotten. I thought people were going to laugh at me or think less of me, or whatever lies I had come up with to keep myself comfortable.

But, I went anyways. I put away my fear because what I wanted (to be in shape) was more important to me than the embarrassment of stepping into the gym for the first time in years.

So, you’ve got to ask yourself, “How badly do you want it?” If the answer is “badly,” you’ve got to be willing to put the fear aside, recognize that it’s going to be uncomfortable, and take pride in the fact that you did it anyways.

That pride of overcoming what you resisted doing is what foster confidence in your ability to go back at it tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and the next.

Comfortable is the Enemy of Confidence

The biggest hurdle I had to overcome in my desire to be more confident was the natural tendency we all have to choose the easy path. And not that doing things the easy way is wrong. But when faced with two choices – the status quo or pushing outside our comfort zone – the only way to build the confidence you want is to choose to step outside your comfort zone.

Don’t lie to yourself and think that it should be easy or dismiss another man’s confidence as something he just inherently has.

Recognize that it’s hard. Recognize that building confidence takes effort not just for you but for everyone and face the reality.

Then, consciously make a choice. One of the things I ask when facing difficult work or circumstances is “Will the action I’m about to talk help me or hinder me on my path to become a better man?”

It’s a great question to ask yourself. If you want a promotion, ask yourself if asking for said promotion will help or hinder you.

If you want a date, ask yourself if asking for that date will help or hinder you.

If you want to be more confident with your fitness, ask yourself if going to the gym will help or hinder you.

If you want to be more confident with other people, ask yourself if going to that networking event will help or hinder you.

Then, act accordingly, in spite of your uneasiness and fear.

Gentlemen, I know it’s not easy. I was not confident in myself for a lot of years. It’s not something where you can simply flip a switch. It takes years of effort. It’s like the adage, “what came first, the chicken of the egg?”

You may not have confidence now but you don’t need confidence. You need courage – the courage to act in spite of the feelings that are keeping you back.

Only when you’re confident enough to take bold action have you earned and have the right to the confidence that comes with it.

The post A Crash Course in Confidence appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
One topic I see talked about more than just about any other is that of building confidence. It seems that more and more men are lacking the confidence they desire in their lives. I think there’s a lot of reasons for this so today, One topic I see talked about more than just about any other is that of building confidence. It seems that more and more men are lacking the confidence they desire in their lives. I think there’s a lot of reasons for this so today, I thought I’d share with you why we seem to be … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 9:50
A Code of Conduct https://www.orderofman.com/a-code-of-conduct/ Fri, 12 Jan 2018 11:30:46 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3883 https://www.orderofman.com/a-code-of-conduct/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/a-code-of-conduct/feed/ 0 <p>Today, I wanted to share with you a little bit about the power of a code of conduct for the way in which you operate in your life. This is actually an excerpt from my new book coming out in February titled, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. If you’re interested …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/a-code-of-conduct/">A Code of Conduct</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Today, I wanted to share with you a little bit about the power of a code of conduct for the way in which you operate in your life. This is actually an excerpt from my new book coming out in February titled, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. If you’re interested in knowing when this is available, head to www.orderofman.com/book.

I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am to get this book in your hands. It’s been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster completing it and we’re only two weeks or so away from making it available to you. In it, I cover the battle all of us, as men are fighting, the mission we have in being here, the code of conduct in which we ought to consider adhering to in our lives, and a very specific planning strategy called the Battle Plan which will help you produce big results in your life.

Sovereignty

I hope that you enjoy this brief section. If you want to know when the book is available, head to www.orderofman.com/book where you can download the introductory chapter and sign up to be notified when the book goes live.

Again, I can wait to get this in your hands. I know it’s going to change lives and it’s been such a rewarding process for me to go through.

This movement would not be nearly what it is today without you tuning in each and every week and sharing the message of the Order. Until next week, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

 

The post A Code of Conduct appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Today, I wanted to share with you a little bit about the power of a code of conduct for the way in which you operate in your life. This is actually an excerpt from my new book coming out in February titled, Today, I wanted to share with you a little bit about the power of a code of conduct for the way in which you operate in your life. This is actually an excerpt from my new book coming out in February titled, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. If you’re interested … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 6:41
147: Self-Mastery through Bow Hunting | John “Dud” Dudley https://www.orderofman.com/147-connecting-nature-bow-hunting-john-dud-dudley/ Tue, 09 Jan 2018 11:30:16 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3865 https://www.orderofman.com/147-connecting-nature-bow-hunting-john-dud-dudley/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/147-connecting-nature-bow-hunting-john-dud-dudley/feed/ 0 <p>Self-mastery is something I talk about a lot. There are a ton of external sources that seem to be fighting against us at any given time but, even worse than that, is that we seem to be our own worst enemy at times. The best way to combat that is to learn to master your …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/147-connecting-nature-bow-hunting-john-dud-dudley/">147: Self-Mastery through Bow Hunting | John “Dud” Dudley</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Self-mastery is something I talk about a lot. There are a ton of external sources that seem to be fighting against us at any given time but, even worse than that, is that we seem to be our own worst enemy at times. The best way to combat that is to learn to master your natural tendency to do things you know you shouldn’t.

Today, I’m joined by my friend, John Dudley, to talk about archery which, at first glance, doesn’t seem to have to do with self-mastery. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. The amount of dedication and discipline this man has towards become a master of his craft is inspiring and something we can all learn from. We talk about becoming a more well-rounded man, the power that comes from honing a craft, why coach-ability is critical, becoming a lifelong learner, and how to master yourself through bow hunting.

“Archery was a form of lifestyle. Want and waste was a shame.” Tweet That— John Dudley

John Dudley

John DudleyGuys, I’m stoked to bring you this conversation with one of the most qualified men to talk with you about mastery and discipline.

I recently picked up archery and, in fact, I harvested my first deer earlier this year. I underestimated what it would take to make that hunt a success but a lot of what I learned, I learned from my guest, John Dudley.

He’s been involved in archery since he was 10 years old (he talks about his first hunt) and since went on to shoot professionally for 20 years with over 120 events worldwide including gold and silver medal with the US archery team.

He’s dedicated his life to archery and you’re going to hear the passion in his voice as he is striving to become a master in his and show us how to master ours.

“I practice because I want to be able to maximize my efficiency in hunting situations.” Tweet That— John Dudley

Show Highlights

  • Connecting with nature through bow hunting
  • Becoming more a well-rounded man
  • The importance of mentorship
  • Taking ownership of your life
  • The power that comes from honing a craft
  • Why coach-ability is critical
  • Ethical responsibilities we have
  • The value of knowing where your food comes from
  • Where training comes into play
  • The relationship bewteen want and waste
  • Why repitition is so important
  • Being a lifelong learner
  • Holding yourself to a higher standard

“Hunters and conservationists have a greater connection with [nature] than those who have no association or investment with those animals.” Tweet That— John Dudley

Order of Man Meetup: Nashville

Gentlemen, it’s the last couple of weeks leading up to our meetup in Nashville. Last week on the podcast, I mentioned eight key factors of the event that you’re going to want to be part of (you can check that out at www.orderofman.com/FFN089).

At the end of the day, I cannot overstate how important proximity is – especially proximity to those men who are striving to accomplish similar things to you. This is exactly what you’re going to get when you come to our meetup January 26-27th.

I had a hard time finding those men who wanted to do great things in their lives so, I created it. That’s what you’re going to experience the end of this month. If you’re interested in banding with us and connecting with other men who are the same journey as you, head to www.orderofman.com/nashville.

“I practice [archery] year-round. You’re not doing the animal justice by picking up your bow just before the season and shooting a couple shots.” Tweet That— John Dudley

Connect with John Dudley

“If I wasn’t good at it, I would figure out a way to get better.” Tweet That— John Dudley

The post 147: Self-Mastery through Bow Hunting | John “Dud” Dudley appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Self-mastery is something I talk about a lot. There are a ton of external sources that seem to be fighting against us at any given time but, even worse than that, is that we seem to be our own worst enemy at times. Self-mastery is something I talk about a lot. There are a ton of external sources that seem to be fighting against us at any given time but, even worse than that, is that we seem to be our own worst enemy at times. The best way to combat that is to learn to master your … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 47:00
Meet me in Nashville https://www.orderofman.com/meet-me-in-nashville/ Fri, 05 Jan 2018 11:30:55 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3860 https://www.orderofman.com/meet-me-in-nashville/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/meet-me-in-nashville/feed/ 0 <p>Most of you know by now that we have live meetup in Nashville coming up January 26th and 27th. It is going to be an absolutely killer event and I want you there with us. So today, I thought I’d pull back the curtain a little bit and share with you some of the details …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/meet-me-in-nashville/">Meet me in Nashville</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Most of you know by now that we have live meetup in Nashville coming up January 26th and 27th. It is going to be an absolutely killer event and I want you there with us. So today, I thought I’d pull back the curtain a little bit and share with you some of the details so you know what we’re up to.

If you’ve been to one conference, you’ve been to all of them but what we wanted to do here is create something truly incredible because the last thing I want to do is sit in a hot, stuffy room for two days and be talked at. I can’t imagine you’d want to do that either.

So, at the risk, of giving away all of our ideas on how to run an effective meetup for men (unlike a lot of these conferences), let me break down eight things about this event you’re going to want to a part of.

Iron Council Evening

First things first, if you’re part of the Iron Council, you actually get an additional evening free of charge. There is no additional cost of this evening if you’re a member of the Iron Council so, if you are coming anyways or you’re on the fence about joining the Iron Council, now is the time to join and get registered for this extra evening.

Here’s how that will play out: We’re going to be hosting an exclusive Iron Council dinner so you can meet with me and the other high-caliber guys inside the Council then we’re going to have a fireside where we’ll cover the four quadrants we cover inside the Iron Council and hold each other accountable to some big plans we all have for the first quarter of the new year.

Venue

Now, as far as the venue goes, we’ve got a very cool barn in Nashville that will host us all as well as some other off-site locations so that we can participate in some of the activities we have planned.

One thing we wanted to be sure of is that this isn’t some hotel conference room. Again, we’re trying to create something unique, memorable, and conducive to growth moving into the new year.

Book Signing

The next part of this is a book signing. As many of you know by now, I’ve got a new book, Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men, which is being released February 1st and, as an attendee, you’re going to get a signed copy of the book before it’s available to the public.

I’m also going to be interviewed about the message of the book and you’ll have the opportunity to ask your own questions of me too.

I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am about this book. I know it’s going to change lives. And, I want to get it in your hands before anyone else.

By the way, we’ll have extra copies of the book as well as other Order of Man merchandise for you to purchase.

Panels

Next, we’re going to be hosting several different panels for you to participate in. One on the topic of Entrepreneurship and one on the topic of family and fatherhood. You’ll be able to ask our experts your questions on those topics and get a ton of different ideas and perspectives into your work as a family man and a business man.

Networking

We’re also going to be having a networking session. This isn’t about turning to your neighbor to your left and right and introducing yourself. This is about focused networking with men in your region.

One of the most challenging things for men is finding their band of brothers and this is a perfect opportunity for you to meet with other men who are committed to being better men in your area.

Breakout Sessions

Next, we’ve got our breakout sessions. This is an opportunity for you to go to several different sessions from eight other men on the topics of mental and emotional resilience, financial sovereignty, transforming a marriage, the power of gratitude, living with intentionality, how it’s never too late to start something, and self-defense/jiu-jitsu class.

There are so many topics you can choose from so you’ll be able to find something you’re looking for.

Challenges

The next component is challenges. No Order of Man event would be complete without challenging you to do and be more.

So, each morning, we’ll start off with physical exercise and then scattered throughout the day there will be a series of challenges that will test you physically, mentally, and emotionally on the subjects of leadership, resilience, ingenuity, team work, and a couple other surprises up our sleeves.

Again, this isn’t a passive experience. It’s an active one. You’re going to have to go back to your life and that’s about getting in the game. There’s no amount of talk that can prepare you for what you’ll face in life. You have to do!

Firesides

And the last component I wanted to share with you is the firesides that we’ll be hosting. Men seem to do better when they’re sitting side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder united in a common purpose. And, that is the reason we do these firesides. It’s an opportunity to have focused discussions about some of our biggest challenges and the solutions we’ve all found through years of struggle and effort.

So, there it is guys, just a sampling of what we’ll be doing at the meetup in Nashville. Again, it’s the exclusive Iron Council evening, the amazing venue we have, book signing, panels, networking, breakout sessions, challenges, and the fireside. But, at the end of the day, it’s about proximity – proximity to other men who are wanting to do big things in their lives. I know you do too.

I hope to see you there. I hope to shake your hand. And, I hope to have a discussion with you about what it means to be a man and how to be a better one. If you’re ready to get registered, you can do that at www.orderofman.com/nashville. Again, that’s www.orderofman.com/nashville. The dates are January 26th and 27th, 2018

Until next week and until I see you in Nashville later this month, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

The post Meet me in Nashville appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Most of you know by now that we have live meetup in Nashville coming up January 26th and 27th. It is going to be an absolutely killer event and I want you there with us. So today, I thought I’d pull back the curtain a little bit and share with you some... Most of you know by now that we have live meetup in Nashville coming up January 26th and 27th. It is going to be an absolutely killer event and I want you there with us. So today, I thought I’d pull back the curtain a little bit and share with you some of the details … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 10:54
146: A Life of Adventure | Laval St. Germain https://www.orderofman.com/146-life-adventure-laval-st-germain/ Tue, 02 Jan 2018 11:30:26 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3820 https://www.orderofman.com/146-life-adventure-laval-st-germain/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/146-life-adventure-laval-st-germain/feed/ 0 <p>I want you to take a serious, truthful look at your life. When is the last time you went on an adventure? I’m not talking about a date with your wife, or trying a new restaraunt, or you happened to take a new way to work. I’m talking about a real adventure that scared you, …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/146-life-adventure-laval-st-germain/">146: A Life of Adventure | Laval St. Germain</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I want you to take a serious, truthful look at your life. When is the last time you went on an adventure? I’m not talking about a date with your wife, or trying a new restaraunt, or you happened to take a new way to work. I’m talking about a real adventure that scared you, pushed you, and made you feel alive?

Today I’m joined by adventure enthusiast, Laval St. Germain to talk about why it’s critical we “step out, and shove off.” Today we cover establishing new perspectives for life challenges, why most men are content with living vicariously through others, the danger of cognitive distortions, and how to live a life of adventure.

“You hope for the best but plan and anticipate for the worst.” Tweet That— Laval St. Germain

Laval St. Germain

Laval St. GermainToday, I’m joined by adventurer and explorer extraordinaire, Laval St. Germain.

This man is so qualified to talk with us about living a life of adventure.

His resume includes being the only Canadian to climb Everest without supplemental oxygen, climbing an skiing Iraq’s highest peak, the fastest ever crossing North Atlantic solo row, climbing the highest peaks on 6 of the 7 continents among other amazing accomplishments.

He spent 53 days rowing across the Atlantic, and lost three fingers to frostbite. He’s a mountaineer, an endurance athlete, and a pilot.

What more can I say about this guy? He’s incredible and inspiring. I know you’ll walk away inspired to live your own life of adventure.

“We need to step out of our comfort zones and shove off from the dock.” Tweet That— Laval St. Germain

Show Highlights

  • What calls a man to adventure
  • Overcoming excuses
  • Eliminating discomfort
  • Weight risk vs. reward
  • Creating a new perspective for life’s challenges
  • Why we have a desire to prove ourselves
  • The concept of practicing misfortune
  • Mental preparation
  • The danger of congitive distortions
  • Rising to the level of our training
  • Finding experts
  • Why living vicariously through others is never enough
  • Avoiding comparison
  • What exactly is delayed activation

“It doesn’t bode well for us as a culture if we’re relying so much on automation, comfort, and convenience all the time.” Tweet That— Laval St. Germain

The Iron Council in Person

Guys, I know I’ve talked with you about the Iron Council before. It’s an incredible digital community that’s helped hundreds of men across the planet accomplish some huge goals.

But we really want to make this personal as well so we’re in the process right now of creating regional meetups and gatherings for men inside the Iron Council. In addition to that, if you’re a member of the Iron Council, we are throwing in a free half-day with me at the meetup which is going to be held January 26th-27th, 2018.

We’re always looking for new ways to connect powerful men so they can learn from and be accountable for and to each other.

If you want to learn more about what we’re up to, claim your seat at the table, and join with us digitally and locally, I invite you to get registered at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“Practice being uncomfortable. Practice discomfort. Practice pain.” Tweet That— Laval St. Germain

Connect with Laval St. Germain

“The best comes out in people when they’re stressed and going through difficult times. It’s pretty easy to through life without getting your heartrate up and never being challenged.” Tweet That— Laval St. Germain

The post 146: A Life of Adventure | Laval St. Germain appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I want you to take a serious, truthful look at your life. When is the last time you went on an adventure? I’m not talking about a date with your wife, or trying a new restaraunt, or you happened to take a new way to work. I want you to take a serious, truthful look at your life. When is the last time you went on an adventure? I’m not talking about a date with your wife, or trying a new restaraunt, or you happened to take a new way to work. I’m talking about a real adventure that scared you, … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 44:44
The Best Investment You Can Make https://www.orderofman.com/best-investment-can-make/ Fri, 29 Dec 2017 11:30:59 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3834 https://www.orderofman.com/best-investment-can-make/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/best-investment-can-make/feed/ 0 <p>I’m looking at a few of my investment accounts this morning and one of the things I’ve invested in this year is cryptocurrency. As of this recording, Bitcoin is over $17,000. But, what I want to talk with you about today has nothing to do with the financial markets. The only reason I bring that …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/best-investment-can-make/">The Best Investment You Can Make</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I’m looking at a few of my investment accounts this morning and one of the things I’ve invested in this year is cryptocurrency. As of this recording, Bitcoin is over $17,000. But, what I want to talk with you about today has nothing to do with the financial markets. The only reason I bring that up is because I’m amazed at how often people are willing to speculate in something as volatile as Bitcoin and, yet, when you ask them how they’re investing in themselves, all you hear is crickets.

Now, I don’t know where Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies are going to be in the next 12 months and longer. Depending on when you’re listening to this, it could have skyrocketed even higher or completely crashed and burned. But, what I do know is that finding a way to invest in yourself this year will always prove to be a good investment.

So, today, I thought I’d cover six ways you can and should invest in yourself. Again, this is not going to have anything to do with any financial markets. I am a financial advisor by trade but I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk with you about the best asset you’ll ever have – yourself. And, if that’s truly the case, you’re going to want to invest more heavily in yourself than you have in the past.

This year alone (2017), I will have invested roughly $30,000 in myself. Some of you may think that’s low and some of you will think that’s high. Either way, it’s all relative. The more you can invest in yourself the better. In fact, I recommend earmarking funds from your paycheck each month to invest in yourself – at least 10%.

So let’s talk about 6 ways to invest in yourself.

FORMAL EDUCATION

Now, if you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you know that I’ve spoken quite a bit against formal education. I want you to know that I’m not against the formal education itself. I’m against wasting money on an education you don’t need. So, if you’re going to school and spending tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars on a degree that isn’t moving the needle in your life, do not invest in a college education. It’s ridiculous and an incredible waste of time and money. Get out into the real world and work and/or invest in the other 5 areas I’m going to talk with you about. Or, consider a trade school that will teach you skills that are applicable to an actually working environment.

If you’re career track requires an education, by all means, go out and get your degree. But, do it quickly and live in poverty for a few years until you get out into the work force and get an income.

Again, I’m not against formal education for the right person. I just want you to call into question whether you actually need it or you’re doing it because someone told you that’s what you should do.

BOOKS

Next, invest in books. Books are an extremely inexpensive investment and an ability to tap into the greatest minds the world has ever known. I have tens of thousands of dollars worth of books on my shelf.

I don’t care if they’re physical, digital, or audio. Just invest in what other people have to share. The only way to change the output of your life is to change the input. The best way to do that is to gain access to what other people are thinking and doing and read their documentation on it – which is their written words.

A couple weeks ago, I did a Friday Field Notes where I gave you 5 recommendations for books to read in 2018. You can head to www.orderofman.com/books2018 to get the recommendations.

COURSES

Third, courses. There is a course on everything that you could ever want to learn. Sure, you could tinker and learn on your own and save a few bucks but what most people don’t consider is the lost opportunity cost of their time to learn all that new information.

There are sites like www.greatcourses.com where they house courses on everything and anything. Or, you can get very specific with an isolated course on how to shoot a bow, pick locks, create spreadsheets, fix your car, speedread, and every other thing you may want to lean about.

Just a word of caution though. Make sure you are taking from credible sources. You’re not going to take a fitness course from someone who’s fat. You’re not going to take a finance course from someone who is broke. Use discretion.

EVENTS

Next, events. The more we move into a digital world, the more important physical events are going to be. This one is relatively new to me as I considered events a waste of time. But what I’ve realized is there are some great learning opportunities at events and, even more powerful, are the connections I’ve made with other people who are willing and able to invest in themselves. And, that’s where the real return is.

Go to industry conferences, events that are going to physically and mentally challenge you like Spartan Races or our 3 ½ day Uprising Experience, geek out a ComicCon, or FinCon, I probably went to 10 events in 2017 and I plan on doing more in 2018.

Also, I’ll do a future podcast on how to make the most out of these events and I’m going to create a list of events I’m going to be attending in 2018 so I can see you there.

PRODUCTS

Fourth is products. There are products out there that will enhance your ability to be more effective. I see a lot of guys who will try to get by with the cheap stuff or look for free alternatives to the real deal.

When I talk about products, I’m talking about my computer, my podcast microphone, my editing software, even my clothes. All of these things, when done correctly, enhance the quality of what I’m putting out into the world.

If you can get by with free here, by all means, do that. But, I personally am willing to pay a little more for quality because I know it makes things easier and more effective for me.

Don’t be cheap on this stuff. Invest in your products wisely. It will make a world of difference.

MASTERMINDS

And, the last category I want to talk with you about today is masterminds. Masterminds and communities are a great way to tap into the power of other people and expose yourself to new opportunities and information. Most masterminds offer a level of accountability too which is a powerful strategy to keep yourself on track. I currently invest in three masterminds and there is no doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t be where I am today without the help of my fellow men and women inside these powerful groups of people.

Masterminds come in all shapes and sizes so you’ll have to experiment to see what works for you. I would consider starting with the people you might already be following or reaching out to successful friends and see if they’re involved in a mastermind you can take part in.

With that said guys, I want to share a couple of resources we have available. Let me say this first. Obviously, I believe in what we’ve put together and I think the programs and options we have available will serve you greatly. But whether you invest in yourself through what we have to offer or something else, or a combination of both, I’m more concerned that you invest in something whatever that something is.

First, we’ve got an event coming up in about a month (January 26th and 27th in Nashville). This is an opportunity to rub shoulders exclusively with other men who are on a very similar path as you. We have four breakout sessions, team building and leadership exercises, physical activities, and an opportunity to connect with me and other powerful men. I know you’re going to walk away with a ton of value and alter the way you look at your life heading into the new year. You can get registered at www.orderofman.com/nashville.

Second, we’ve got our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council. Technically, not a mastermind because of the size but what a powerful way to tap into 300 other powerful men on your time. We issue weekly challenges, monthly assignments, team meetings with 14 other men, an additional weekly call, and a Slack channel that allows you to customize your experience, information, and conversations you have access to. You can connect with us and lock in your spot at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

Again, I’d love to see you in both places but, if you’ve found another resource more suited to what you’re looking for, great do that. I just want you to get in the habit of investing a lot of money in yourself. It’s the best bet and a sure bet every time.

The post The Best Investment You Can Make appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I’m looking at a few of my investment accounts this morning and one of the things I’ve invested in this year is cryptocurrency. As of this recording, Bitcoin is over $17,000. But, what I want to talk with you about today has nothing to do with the fina... I’m looking at a few of my investment accounts this morning and one of the things I’ve invested in this year is cryptocurrency. As of this recording, Bitcoin is over $17,000. But, what I want to talk with you about today has nothing to do with the financial markets. The only reason I bring that … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 11:17
Overcoming Guilt https://www.orderofman.com/overcoming-guilt/ Fri, 22 Dec 2017 11:30:57 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3829 https://www.orderofman.com/overcoming-guilt/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/overcoming-guilt/feed/ 0 <p>Whether it’s the argument that you got in with you wife, the way you treated your children, how you may have handled a situation at work, or with a client, there’s no doubt that all of us have faced guilt in our lives. This is natural and, actually, a productive emotion to experience. I know …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/overcoming-guilt/">Overcoming Guilt</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Whether it’s the argument that you got in with you wife, the way you treated your children, how you may have handled a situation at work, or with a client, there’s no doubt that all of us have faced guilt in our lives. This is natural and, actually, a productive emotion to experience.

I know a lot of you, when I say that guilt is productive, are wondering what exactly I’m talking about but I firmly believe that the range of emotions we experience – even the negative emotions are helpful. Negative (as well as positive emotions) are simply indicators of our lives. They tell us what’s going well, what’s not going well and where we need to focus our attention and energy in order to produce new outcomes.

It’s when we dwell on these emotions or allow them to cripple us from doing the work we know we should be doing that it becomes a problem. And, I see this time and time again with the men within The Order. They make a mistake they regret and, rather than learning from it, they wallow in their own self-pity and completely incapacitate themselves and their ability to move on and improve as a result of their mistake.

Look, I get it. I’ve made mistakes that I haven’t been proud of but dwelling on the past does nothing to enhance your future and there certainly isn’t anything you can do about it other than you those mistakes as fuel to alter the course of your life moving forward.

And, that’s what I want to talk with you about today. I want to talk with you about three very simple steps you can use to overcome the destructive power of unchecked emotions. Let me be clear though, I’m not talking about hiding emotions or just getting over it. I’m talking about using these powerful feelings we all experience to do the work of a man.

See, there seems to be two sides of the fence on this. One side says, “Men don’t express emotions.” The other side says, “Men need to be vulnerable.” I don’t sit fully with either camp. I think there’s a time and place for everything. There’s a time I can and need to be vulnerable and a time, where I need to simply get over it and re-engage in the work that needs to be done.

ACKNOWLEDGE

The first step in using the emotion of guilt to create the foundation for future growth is to recognize that you made a mistake. That’s all it is.

You aren’t special or unique. You aren’t the first one to do something dumb. We all do and we all have. Give yourself the change to express forgiveness for doing something you regret. It’s okay.

Most mistakes we’ve made are not irreversible or life altering. They’re simple missteps on our path of life.

We cannot and should not turn a blind eye to these mistakes either. In order for you to learn something, you have to acknowledge that there is something to be learned and that comes from you recognizing that you aren’t perfect and you did something you know you shouldn’t have.

Do let yourself off the hook or you’ll never grow. But don’t keep yourself on the hook too long. At some point you’re going to have to let go.

ANALYZE

The second step is to study and analyze the mistake. This isn’t so that you can dwell on it and relive horrible memories of your past indiscretions. It’s an opportunity for you to take a calculated, objective look at what actually went wrong.

How did you get to this point?

What made you do the thing you did?

How will you overcome responding this way in the future?

What can you do to ensure this won’t happen again?

The last thing you want is to compound mistake after mistake after mistake. Overcoming one mistake is manageable. Overcoming a dozen is infinitely harder. And, if you don’t give yourself the space and margin to think about where you went wrong, it’s likely you’re going to do it inadvertently again.

CORRECT THE BEHAVIOR

And, the third step in overcoming the guilt and remorse you may be experiencing is to correct the behavior. Stop doing the thing you feel bad about doing.

I can’t tell you how often I see guys continue to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over again. You aren’t trapped. You are not a slave to past choices unless you decide to be. You have more power than you give yourself credit for.

If you keep doing the same dumb things, be prepared for the same dumb result. If you want a different outcome, you are going to have to do something different. This may include you apologizing to someone you may have offended, cutting of ties with people who aren’t good for you, repaying someone for damage and/or loss, and, frankly, eating crow.

A man that learns to forgive himself, analyze past behavior, and has the ability to correct his thoughts and actions moving forward is unstoppable. It’s the ones who trap themselves in the pain and frustration of their horrible choices who cripple themselves and their ability to move forward.

This takes time guys – especially if what you’ve done is more serious – but it can be overcome using this very simple yet effective three-part formula for overcoming the guilt of your choices.

You are not defined but what you did yesterday but what you do today. If you do the same thing over and over again, that is who you are. If you do something once, learn from it, and move on, you are infinitely more powerful.

Remember, acknowledge and forgive yourself of the wrong doing (you’re human), analyze the mistake so you don’t do it again, and correct your behavior moving forward. This is the mark of a mature man. Using past indiscretions as an excuse to self-destruct is anything but.

 

The post Overcoming Guilt appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Whether it’s the argument that you got in with you wife, the way you treated your children, how you may have handled a situation at work, or with a client, there’s no doubt that all of us have faced guilt in our lives. This is natural and, actually, Whether it’s the argument that you got in with you wife, the way you treated your children, how you may have handled a situation at work, or with a client, there’s no doubt that all of us have faced guilt in our lives. This is natural and, actually, a productive emotion to experience. I know … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 10:30
5 Books Every Man Should Read in 2018 https://www.orderofman.com/5-books-every-man-read-2018/ Fri, 15 Dec 2017 11:30:59 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3822 https://www.orderofman.com/5-books-every-man-read-2018/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/5-books-every-man-read-2018/feed/ 0 <p>It’s been said that, “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” I believe that’s true. We have so much access to the world’s greatest minds and thinkers and all we have to do is tap into those minds through the power of their written words. I didn’t …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/5-books-every-man-read-2018/">5 Books Every Man Should Read in 2018</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

It’s been said that, “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” I believe that’s true. We have so much access to the world’s greatest minds and thinkers and all we have to do is tap into those minds through the power of their written words.

I didn’t always think so highly of reading. In high school, I would do whatever I could to get out of reading and doing book reports. In fact, the only book I remember reading was The Old Man and the Sea which is, of course, a classic. But now, I read at least 50 books per year. I make it an objective of mine to read one per week.

I get a lot of questions about how I’m able to do this and, although that’s not the subject of today’s podcast, I do want to tell you it’s very simple. I commit to reading for at least 30 minutes per day. Every single one of us have 30 extra minutes in the day and, if there’s one thing you can do to spend that time most effectively, it’s reading. Again, you’re tapping into the most powerful minds and ideas in the history of this planet. Incredible.

So, with that said – and just in time for the holidays and last minute Christmas shopping – let me share with you five books that are an absolute must on that list of 50 I would suggest you read. Keep in mind that these are in no particular order.

As a Man Thinketh by James Allen


This book is my most recommended and gifted book because, if you get this right, everything else will fall into place. As a Man Thinketh was written in 1903 but the insights shared are as relevant today as they were more than 100 years ago.

It was described by James Allen as covering “the power of thought, and particularly with the use and application of thought to happy and beautiful issues. I have tried to make the book simple, so that all can easily grasp and follow its teaching, and put into practice the methods which it advises. It shows how, in his own thought-world, each man holds the key to every condition, good or bad, that enters into his life, and that, by working patiently and intelligently upon his thoughts, he may remake his life, and transform his circumstances.”

It’s a very quick and powerful read and I personally read it 3-4 times per year and keep a copy on my desk.

If you feel like you need to get your mind right about the situation you find yourself in, this is the book for you.

Iron John by Robert Bly


This is a really interesting book and one that I may not really mention of fall into my usual category of books but it is such a powerful read. Essentially it’s Bly’s look into what it means to be a man from his work with men.

It’s written as a story in which a young man is guided through the transition into a mature man. It cover the archetypes of masculinity and cause you to think about your role and responsibility as a man and, of course, how we show up in this world.

Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men by Stephen Mansfield


Another one of my favorites, Stephen Mansfield breaks down four masculine maxims in this book and really lays the framework for the way good and honorable men show up in all areas of their lives.

I personally know Stephen and I can tell you that this is a man who lives by the words he shares and has become a friend over the past couple of years. This isn’t necessary why I share the book with you because I found this book and have recommended it well before I knew Stephen.

You can listen to my first interview with Stephen Mansfield at www.orderofman.com/038 where we dive into the details and additional questions about Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men.

Wild at Heart by John Eldredge


Wild at Heart is one of my all-time favorite books. It does have a Christian undertone which won’t be a problem for many of you but any man can gain so much insight about what it means to be a man in the first place and why we act and behave the way we do.

For me, one of the most important conversations that is brought up in the book is the idea that boys and men are on a constant journey to answer the question, “Am I enough?”

It was written in 2001 and it’s amazing to me how much “staying power” this book has although, after reading it, it’s not really hard to see why.

It answer a lot of questions for me about my background, why I feel the way I do, why I’ve felt in adequate for a lot of my life, and is a call to return to our masculine roots in a society that seems to, more and more, want to do away with masculinity all together.

As a side note, I had an interview with the author, John Eldredge, which you can find at www.orderofman.com/139

Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men by Ryan Michler

SovereigntyNow, I know this one is biased but if I didn’t think my book belonged among the other greats, I can’t image even writing it. It’s not out currently but will be February 1st and, if you head to www.orderofman.com/book, you can sign up to get notified when the pre-order will be available.

Sovereignty explores the idea that many modern men have given up control and power of their own lives in the form of excuses, lies, justifications, and rationalizations. This book is about the battle that is being waged against men and the sabotage we inflict upon ourselves. I cover 13 virtues that will help all men reclaim their Sovereignty and place them on the path to ultimate control and responsibility over their own lives.

Again, if you head to www.orderofman.com/book, you can get notifications when the book is to be released.

So gentlemen, there you have it. My top 5 recommended books for 2018. Of course, I’d encourage you to read a lot more than that but you now have a start. This would be a great list to share with your loved ones if their looking for Christmas ideas.

The post 5 Books Every Man Should Read in 2018 appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
It’s been said that, “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” I believe that’s true. We have so much access to the world’s greatest minds and thinkers and all we have to do is tap into those minds through the power of ... It’s been said that, “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” I believe that’s true. We have so much access to the world’s greatest minds and thinkers and all we have to do is tap into those minds through the power of their written words. I didn’t … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 9:27
143: The Appearance of Power | Tanner Guzy https://www.orderofman.com/143-appearance-power-tanner-guzy/ Tue, 12 Dec 2017 11:30:19 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3796 https://www.orderofman.com/143-appearance-power-tanner-guzy/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/143-appearance-power-tanner-guzy/feed/ 0 <p>Every time I bring up a conversation about style as it relates to masculinity, I’m met with hesitation because, “real men don’t care about what they wear.” And, while that sounds good to say, it just isn’t true. If it were, we’d all walk around naked or a baggy t-shirt and sweat pants everywhere we …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/143-appearance-power-tanner-guzy/">143: The Appearance of Power | Tanner Guzy</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Every time I bring up a conversation about style as it relates to masculinity, I’m met with hesitation because, “real men don’t care about what they wear.” And, while that sounds good to say, it just isn’t true. If it were, we’d all walk around naked or a baggy t-shirt and sweat pants everywhere we go.

Besides, your style is a powerful tool in building influence, gaining confidence, and creating opportunities for yourself. My guest today is my good friend, Tanner Guzy with Masculine Style. I’ve learned more from him about what I wear, what it says about me, and how it’s perceived by others in the last couple years than I have the rest of my life. And while it’s hard to quantify the results dressing well produces, there’s no doubt there’s a connection between what I look like and my income, confidence, and influence.

“Status is one of those things we don’t talk about. It’s something that’s navigated subtly and subconsciously.” Tweet That— Tanner Guzy

Tanner Guzy

Tanner GuzyGentlemen, my guest today is my friend Tanner Guzy. Tanner and I met years ago. In fact, he was the second guest I ever had on the show.

I used to balk at the idea of dressing well because I thought it was more about what’s inside a man than what he’s wearing. And, while there is validity to that, our style says a lot about who we are.

Tanner is a deep thinker (which I appreciate) and goes well beyond how to wear a suit and what shoes go best with what pants. He delves deep into the why and the psychology of what we wear and how it produces results in our lives.

And, that’s what we’re all about here – producing results. And, if I can take learn just one thing about what I wear that will help me in my life, you can bet that I’m going to do it. Tanner is going to show us how.

“If you can dress in a way where you and the people around you have higher expectations of you, that’s where ‘fake it ’til you make it’ will work.” Tweet That— Tanner Guzy

Show Highlights

  • The difference between power and appeal
  • How your clothing communicates to others
  • Tactics vs. strategy in what you wear
  • The 3 style archetypes
  • 6 factors to choosing your style
  • How to focus on meaning versus just looking good
  • Where confidence stems from
  • How to improve your style without having to wear a suit
  • How to maintain practically and still look good
  • How to overcome the need for validation in the way you look
  • How to develop and maintain influence with others
  • Why every man should focus on improving his style

“Good style comes from knowing who you are and what your value is internally and discovering a way to express that externally.” Tweet That— Tanner Guzy

The Appearance of Power

The Iron Council Battle Plan

Gentlemen, if you want something different out of your life, you are going to have to do something different. I want to challenge you today to step outside of your comfort zone and do something you probably already know you should be doing anyways. And, that is join a band of brothers.

Now, you can do it alone and take a lot of time, energy, and resources. Or, you can tap into what we’ve created inside our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council. We’ve spent years developing, fine tuning, and honing the strategies and resources inside this brotherhood to produce maximum results in your relationships, your health, your bank account, and your life.

Without a system for the way you operate your life (and, more specifically, a new system), you can expect to experience the same results you’ve always experienced. Our brotherhood, The Iron Council, will help you experience something new and give you all the tools, resources, and track to run on.

If you’re interested in learning more, head to www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil and join us now.

“Confidence comes from accomplishing difficult things.” Tweet That— Tanner Guzy

Connect with Tanner Guzy

“You want to dress in a way that puts you a little outside of your comfort zone and higher status than you actually are.” Tweet That— Tanner Guzy

The post 143: The Appearance of Power | Tanner Guzy appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Every time I bring up a conversation about style as it relates to masculinity, I’m met with hesitation because, “real men don’t care about what they wear.” And, while that sounds good to say, it just isn’t true. If it were, Every time I bring up a conversation about style as it relates to masculinity, I’m met with hesitation because, “real men don’t care about what they wear.” And, while that sounds good to say, it just isn’t true. If it were, we’d all walk around naked or a baggy t-shirt and sweat pants everywhere we … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 48:00
Activate the Hunt | Collin Cottrell https://www.orderofman.com/activate-hunt-collin-cottrell/ Fri, 08 Dec 2017 11:30:51 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3798 https://www.orderofman.com/activate-hunt-collin-cottrell/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/activate-hunt-collin-cottrell/feed/ 0 <p>This one is a little different for you today. Normally, on Friday, you get to listen to me talk about some things that have been bouncing around in my brain but, today, you get to listen to an on-the-spot conversation between me and my friend Collin Cottrell. Collin and I went on a hunt together …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/activate-hunt-collin-cottrell/">Activate the Hunt | Collin Cottrell</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

This one is a little different for you today. Normally, on Friday, you get to listen to me talk about some things that have been bouncing around in my brain but, today, you get to listen to an on-the-spot conversation between me and my friend Collin Cottrell.

Collin and I went on a hunt together about a month ago. This was my very first trip and I thought you’d enjoy hearing about it and the lessons that I learned along the way. So, I asked Collin (again, my friend and founder of Activate the Hunt) to interview me and, of course, I interview him about what goes into a successful hunt and why he does what he does.

Connect with Collin

The post Activate the Hunt | Collin Cottrell appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
This one is a little different for you today. Normally, on Friday, you get to listen to me talk about some things that have been bouncing around in my brain but, today, you get to listen to an on-the-spot conversation between me and my friend Collin Co... This one is a little different for you today. Normally, on Friday, you get to listen to me talk about some things that have been bouncing around in my brain but, today, you get to listen to an on-the-spot conversation between me and my friend Collin Cottrell. Collin and I went on a hunt together … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 31:58
142: Developing, Operating, and Expanding a Business https://www.orderofman.com/142-developing-operating-expanding-business-cameron-herald/ Tue, 05 Dec 2017 11:30:07 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3781 https://www.orderofman.com/142-developing-operating-expanding-business-cameron-herald/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/142-developing-operating-expanding-business-cameron-herald/feed/ 0 <p>Running a business can be a challenge. I know, I own two of them. At times, things seem to be firing on all cylinders and at other times, it seems like I’m just barely hanging on. Regardless of where you are with your business (and even if you’re an employee of a business), there is …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/142-developing-operating-expanding-business-cameron-herald/">142: Developing, Operating, and Expanding a Business</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Running a business can be a challenge. I know, I own two of them. At times, things seem to be firing on all cylinders and at other times, it seems like I’m just barely hanging on. Regardless of where you are with your business (and even if you’re an employee of a business), there is always something to be learned in how to run the operations more effectively.

My guest today, Cameron Herald, grew 1-800-Got-Junk from $2,000,000 in revenue to over $106,000,000 in just six short years among other amazing business accomplishments. We talk about developing a board of advisors, attracting top-quality talent, creating work/life balance, the art of delegation, and how to develop, operate, and expand a business.

“Enterpreneurs feel it’s less risky because they’re more in control of their own destiny.” Tweet That— Cameron Herald

Cameron Herald

Cameron HeraldMy guest today, Cameron Herald, is a speaker, author, and business coach working with Cheif Executive Officers and Cheif Operating Officers around the world.

What I like most about Cameron is his no-B.S approach to building and scaling businesses. He has such an ability to cut the heart of the matter and eliminate anything that keeps businesses from growing.

As you heard earlier, Cameron grew 1-800-Got-Junk from $2,000,000 in revenue to $106,000,000 and has led and operated multiple other $100,000,000 business.

You’ll see why that is as you hear Cameron and I talk about scaling businesses, the things that keep a business from thriving, and how to make the most of every single minute to maximize results within employees, officers, and the organization as a whole.

“I think only about 3% of people should be entrepreneurs.” Tweet That— Cameron Herald

Show Highlights

  • How to inspire a team
  • Developing a management style
  • Scaling business operations
  • Running team meetings effectively and efficiently
  • Attracting top-quality talent
  • Developing a board of advisors
  • Finding work/life balance
  • Starting the morning off right
  • The power of delegation
  • 4 rules for a powerful business meeting
  • Creating a vivid vision
  • Utlizing a Chain of Command

“Most sales people are dominant and expressive personalities.” Tweet That— Cameron Herald

Books



The Iron Council Battle Plan

This time of year, you’re probably thinking a lot about New Year’s Resolutions and what you want 2018 to look like for you. But, if you’re anything like me, you know that New Year’s Resolutions rarely work out.

That said, inside of our exclusive brotherhood, we created a system that allows you to approach this thing a lot differently and actually produce the results you’re after. We call it the Battle Plan and we’ve taken what works in goal setting and stripped away all the nonsense that doesn’t. What’s left is a very clear course of action that gets the job done.

And, when you band with us, you’re going to have access to hundreds of other men who are going to hold your feet to the fire when it comes to accomplishing what you set out to accomplish.

Join us this month and together with the brothers inside the Council will make 2018 your best year ever in your relationships, your business, your health, and your life. You can join us at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“Vision without execution is hallucination.” Tweet That— Thomas Edison

Connect with Cameron Herald

“It’s smarter to be the lazy entreprenuer and to delegate and outsource.” Tweet That— Cameron Herald

The post 142: Developing, Operating, and Expanding a Business appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Running a business can be a challenge. I know, I own two of them. At times, things seem to be firing on all cylinders and at other times, it seems like I’m just barely hanging on. Regardless of where you are with your business (and even if you’re an em... Running a business can be a challenge. I know, I own two of them. At times, things seem to be firing on all cylinders and at other times, it seems like I’m just barely hanging on. Regardless of where you are with your business (and even if you’re an employee of a business), there is … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 42:22
Be the Patriarch https://www.orderofman.com/be-the-patriarch/ Fri, 01 Dec 2017 11:30:05 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3776 https://www.orderofman.com/be-the-patriarch/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/be-the-patriarch/feed/ 0 <p>The other day, I had made a comment in our Facebook Group about being a Patriarch. Someone suggested I put that phrase on a shirt but I thought it would be better to explain it here. Very simply, a Patriarch is the male leader of a family. It’s becoming painfully obvious that we are lacking …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/be-the-patriarch/">Be the Patriarch</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

The other day, I had made a comment in our Facebook Group about being a Patriarch. Someone suggested I put that phrase on a shirt but I thought it would be better to explain it here.

Very simply, a Patriarch is the male leader of a family. It’s becoming painfully obvious that we are lacking male leadership in the home. Divorce rates are on the rise as they have been for some time and the amount of young boys and girls who are growing up without fathers is scary to even think about.

And, I don’t even think we’ve begun to see the fallout from the leaderless homes. Already, we see young boys and girls confused about their gender, we see violence, addiction, and the fact that the sexual misconduct perpetuated by men is seemingly climbing. I can’t help but think that a lot of these problems could be addressed by worthy and honorable male leadership in the home.

I don’t think all of this would go away but if more men would lead their families the way they’re meant to be led, much of the negativity we see in society today would dwindle.

I want to be really clear here. I know there are situations in which the mother is responsible for leading the home. Maybe dad is out of the picture for whatever reason. But, regardless, a man’s influence in the home cannot be replicated.

Men and women are different. Where women are great in certain areas, men fall short. And, where men are great in certain areas, women fall short. This is why it is so crucial that there be both a masculine and feminine presence in the home.

Specifically, I want to talk about the masculine presence in the home because that’s where we as a society seem to be falling short.

Look, if you’re a father and/or a husband, your job is to lead. Period. You are designed to lead. You were born to lead. And, what’s really fascinating is that the majority of women I talk with who tune into what we’re doing here are craving men who lead with honor, strength, and integrity.

So today, of all the factors that make you and I the Patriarchs of the family we’ve been called to be, I want to talk with you about three specifically.

VISION

Vision is absolutely crucial in your calling as the family’s Patriarch. It is your job to determine the direction of the family mission. As I say that, I know there’s a lot of families who don’t have an objective or a mission.

But if your family doesn’t have a purpose, what exactly are you working towards and how can you know you’re on the right track? The truth is you can’t.

Too many men and therefore, too many families are wandering around aimlessly without a benchmark to shoot for or to strive to. I used to have friends that had parents that didn’t care about what they did and how late they were out and what trouble they were getting into. Their fathers were more concerned with being the kids’ friends that being their father.

I used to think and wonder how cool it would be if that was my situation. But now I look back and think how sad that my friends had no leadership, no purpose, and no sense of direction.

Now, with that said, I do recognize that a wife and a mother has a say in the direction of her family. My wife and I lead together and I’ve never made a major family decision without her guidance, direction, and support.

I’m not suggesting you do it on your own. I’m suggesting that you take the initiative to talk about and identify a vision for your family.

COMMUNICATION

Next, you’ve got to be able to communicate that vision. If you can’t or won’t share what’s on your mind and the direction you’d like to go, you’re never going to get buy-in from your wife and children.

Now, some men would say, “It doesn’t matter, my family will do what I tell them to.” To that I say, “You might be right but for how long?” No one will follow a leader indefinitely who cannot be empathetic to the family’s needs, desires, and wishes.

Effective communication is about taking all of that into consideration as you articulate the direction for the family.

It’s not always easy. It’s not always fun. But it’s not supposed to be. It’s challenging to have the types of conversations you’re going to need to have on your path to keeping your family on the right track but like I said before, you are uniquely qualified to do it.

STRUCTURE

And the third component I wanted to talk with you about today is that of structure. Every family needs structure, systems, and discipline in order to operate effectively.

Again, this is the part that isn’t necessarily the fun part but it’s critical. You have a noble calling and that requires strength and grit and fortitude. It also requires the support system in place in order to help achieve the mission.

Are you meeting with your family regularly? Do your children know what is expected of them and the consequences should they fall short of those expectations? Are there boundaries that are not to be crossed and enforced? Is everyone on the same page or is there confusion and chaos in the walls of your homes?

These are all powerful questions that can be answered in order to step more fully into the role of Patriarch.

I know that there are going to be those who think this information or way of looking at things is outdated and to that I agree. It is a traditional way of looking at things but I’d have you consider that the traditional way of managing a home is not the problem but the deviation from it.

I know that there are a lot of factors at play here and of course there’s no way for me to cover every situation and family dynamic. But if you have the opportunity and capability, your family needs you to step up. They need your vision, your direction, your guidance, your structure, your support, and your discipline.

And, not only do they need it, it’s your job. You are the patriarch.

Gentlemen, as we wind down today, I do want to invite you to join us in our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council. This may be just the tool that you need to step up in your family as a husband and father. I’m amazed at how many messages I get from men who want to save their marriages and families but aren’t willing to put in a little time and investment to make the changes they pretend they want so bad. If you want something different out of your life, you’re going to have to do something different. The Iron Council has all the tools, resources, guidance, support, and direction to help you become the Patriarch of your home and a leader in your business and community. You can join us at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

The post Be the Patriarch appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
The other day, I had made a comment in our Facebook Group about being a Patriarch. Someone suggested I put that phrase on a shirt but I thought it would be better to explain it here. Very simply, a Patriarch is the male leader of a family. The other day, I had made a comment in our Facebook Group about being a Patriarch. Someone suggested I put that phrase on a shirt but I thought it would be better to explain it here. Very simply, a Patriarch is the male leader of a family. It’s becoming painfully obvious that we are lacking … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 9:51
141: Live Life on Your Terms | Hunter McIntyre https://www.orderofman.com/141-live-life-terms-hunter-mcintyre/ Tue, 28 Nov 2017 11:30:36 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3760 https://www.orderofman.com/141-live-life-terms-hunter-mcintyre/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/141-live-life-terms-hunter-mcintyre/feed/ 0 <p>There was a time in my life when I felt as if I was living for everyone else. I woke up to a marriage that was in shambles, a business that was failing, a bank account that seemed to be in the red more often than it was in the black, and a lifestyle I …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/141-live-life-terms-hunter-mcintyre/">141: Live Life on Your Terms | Hunter McIntyre</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There was a time in my life when I felt as if I was living for everyone else. I woke up to a marriage that was in shambles, a business that was failing, a bank account that seemed to be in the red more often than it was in the black, and a lifestyle I hated. That has all changed for me.

My guest today, Hunter McIntyre, although taking a different path, was also living a life other than what he really wanted. That was until he found Obstacle Course Racing and the passion for life you’ll hear in his voice. Today, we’re going to talk about how that discovery changed his life, how to identify where you need to grow most, the power that comes in trying new things, and how to life life on your terms.

“I learned from the men in my life and absorbed the attitude of masculinity.” Tweet That— Hunter McIntyre

Hunter McIntyre

Hunter McIntyreGuys, today I have the privelege of introducing to you Hunter McIntyre.

Hunter is a Professional Obstacle Course Racer, a two-time winner of Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge, and is one of the highest paid Obstacle Course Racers in the world.

What’s even more interesting is that what we might recognize in Hunter today was nowhere to be found when he was younger. Most of his younger years were spent doing drugs and getting drunk, run-ins with the law, and several rehab stays.

Eventually, he found his way into modeling working with J. Crew and Abercrombie and Fitch. But, it wasn’t until he found Obstacle Course Racing that he truly transformed his life. I just watched this guy compete in the Spartan World Championships in Tahoe. He is the real deal. He is loud. He’s in your face. But, there is no doubt he thinks big and lives life on his terms.

“I wake up and it hurts, and I’m sore, and it’s hard, but this life is a process that grows on you.” Tweet That— Hunter McIntyre

Show Highlights

  • Identifying where you need to grow most
  • The value of meditation and self-talk
  • Developing story lines that serve you
  • How to refine who you are
  • The power of trying new things
  • Why selfishness isn’t always a bad thing
  • How to shine your light for others
  • Discovering what the world needs from you
  • Learning to let go of things that no longer serve you
  • Culitvating the right attitude for life
  • How to keep the your fire burning

“Having people reach out and pat you on the back isn’t what you should be looking for.” Tweet That— Hunter McIntyre

The Iron Council Hot Seats

A lot of you are probably thinking about new year’s resolutions and what you want to accomplish in 2018. In fact, you probably do it every year and, every year, it turns out the same – you stick to your goals for a little while then fizzle out.

I want this year to be different for you so, including the Battle Planning program we use inside our exlusive brotherhood, The Iron Council, you are going to have an opportunity to sit on a Hot Seat with the guys inside the Council. They’re going to question you. They’re going to push you. They’re going to call you out. And, at the end of the day, they’re going to help you take your life to a whole new level.

I’ve found that an added level of accountability in my objectives has helped me accomplish way more that I would have been able to on my own. So, if you’re ready to take in up a notch in 2018 and want the brotherhood and accountability to help you on your journey, join us now inside The Iron Council.

“I want to define my life in ways that challenge me.” Tweet That— Hunter McIntyre

Connect with Hunter McIntyre

“This is not a dress rehearsal. You only have one chance.” Tweet That— Hunter McIntyre

The post 141: Live Life on Your Terms | Hunter McIntyre appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
There was a time in my life when I felt as if I was living for everyone else. I woke up to a marriage that was in shambles, a business that was failing, a bank account that seemed to be in the red more often than it was in the black, and a lifestyle I … There was a time in my life when I felt as if I was living for everyone else. I woke up to a marriage that was in shambles, a business that was failing, a bank account that seemed to be in the red more often than it was in the black, and a lifestyle I … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 41:30
The Power of Gratitude https://www.orderofman.com/the-power-of-gratitude/ Fri, 24 Nov 2017 11:30:23 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3764 https://www.orderofman.com/the-power-of-gratitude/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/the-power-of-gratitude/feed/ 0 <p>I wasn’t going to talk with you about gratitude because everyone is going to be talking about it with Thanksgiving and it seems to be a little played out but that thought goes against what makes gratitude so powerful in the first place. I truly have so much to be grateful for and, regardless of …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/the-power-of-gratitude/">The Power of Gratitude</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

I wasn’t going to talk with you about gratitude because everyone is going to be talking about it with Thanksgiving and it seems to be a little played out but that thought goes against what makes gratitude so powerful in the first place.

I truly have so much to be grateful for and, regardless of your station in life right now, so do you. When, we overlook (like I was about to this year) all that we have to be thankful for, we forget that we already have so much in our lives and life is good.

It’s easy for high-achieving men like you and me to forget to hit the pause button from time to time and reflect upon all that we have. Frankly, we’ve already got our eyes fixed on the next prize to think too much about what has already come and gone. But that doesn’t really serve us and it does nothing for those who have stepped up to help us along the way.

As fixated as I can be on what’s next, I do believe it’s good to pull back the reigns and slow down occasionally. I think a lot of what we see in society today is this constant need for the next gadget and gizmo. That’s been perpetuated by the media and big business because they’re constantly striving to get your attention and your money but have you ever considered that what you currently have is already enough?

I look around in my house and, to be completely honest with you, at times, I’m disgusted at my level of consumerism. I’ve bought things I’ve only used once or never. I don’t treat a lot of what I have with the respect it deserves, and I watch my kids fight and bicker over the toys they have when they have closets full of other toys they haven’t touched for years.

The times that we, as a family, have the most peace in our homes is when we are with each other and that’s it – going on walks, hiking, camping, playing basketball, and just doing things together.

It’s unfortunate we’ve been conditioned to always want more, and bigger, and shinier, and more expensive.

So, with that said, I’ve really made a conscious effort to show appreciation for everything I have in my life currently and I’m learning to be satisfied, content, and happy with it. This isn’t easy because we’re constantly on the mission of keeping up with the Jones’ and falling into the comparison trap with those we see in our neighborhood or on TV, or social media.

But, if you look around and what you currently have and the standard of living you enjoy, it truly is amazing. I’m sitting here using technology to reach millions of people around the planet with a push of a button. If I’m a little cold, I turn on the heater. If I’m a little warm, I turn on the air conditioner. I have this incredible machine of machines that gets me from point A to point B at 80 MPH.

Most of you have families that love you and support you as mine does for me. If I’m having a bad day, my kids try to cheer me up. My wife has the opportunity and great blessing to stay home with our children and make this house we live in a home.

I have a job that is engaging and uplifting to me. And, I get to help you and millions of other men step more fully into their role as husbands, fathers, business owners, and community leaders. I get to work from home. I get to travel. I get to do the things I enjoy. I get to worship the way I see fit. I get to pursue my interests simply because they interest me. It truly is incredible how blessed we all are and yet we consume ourselves with negativity, and drama, and bickering, and finding the most trivial of things to be worried about or upset about.

To me, the most powerful part of expressing gratitude comes in the form of perspective. It shows you that what you’ve been consumed with really isn’t that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. I’m not discounting your problems and challenges but I wonder how many of these trails we face would melt away we stopped focusing on them and decided, instead, to focus on the positives our lives have to offer. Would it make us more positive? Would it make us more productive? Would it make us more profitable?

I know that’s certainly been true for me. In my experience, we attract what we focus on. If we focus on want, and negativity, and scarcity, I believe we’ll experience more of that in our lives.

If, however, we focus on what we have, and positivity, and abundance, I believe we have the power to attract more of that in our lives.

This is not wishful thinking or a misguided belief that we can simply will things into existence. It’s just showing gratitude for all that we are blessed with and all that we will be blessed with in the future.

As you can, I’ve been thinking a bit about this topic this week. In fact, I’m talking with the guys in our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council, all about gratitude this week (If you’re interested in learning more about it, you can join us at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil. Earlier this week, I issued a challenge to them that I would like to issue to you.

Reach out to on person who you are grateful for. Let them know specifically why you’re grateful for them and simply say, “thank you.” That’s it. No ulterior motive. Just a thank you. See how you feel when you do that. I guaranteed you’ll feel uplifted.

Gentlemen, as I close things out today, I do want to take a quick minute and thank you. I started this two and a half years ago and I never would have thought we’d be where we are today. That could not have happened without you tuning in and engaging the way that you do.

I want to thank you for allowing me to turn an idea into a movement. I honor you for how you show up and recognize the role you have to play in making me a better man. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

The post The Power of Gratitude appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
I wasn’t going to talk with you about gratitude because everyone is going to be talking about it with Thanksgiving and it seems to be a little played out but that thought goes against what makes gratitude so powerful in the first place. I wasn’t going to talk with you about gratitude because everyone is going to be talking about it with Thanksgiving and it seems to be a little played out but that thought goes against what makes gratitude so powerful in the first place. I truly have so much to be grateful for and, regardless of … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 9:10
140: Living the Fit Life | Drew Canole https://www.orderofman.com/140-living-fit-life-drew-canole/ Tue, 21 Nov 2017 11:30:02 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3752 https://www.orderofman.com/140-living-fit-life-drew-canole/#comments https://www.orderofman.com/140-living-fit-life-drew-canole/feed/ 2 <p>4 years ago, I was fat, out of shape, and miserable. My relationships were suffering. My business was falling apart. And, I was at a complete loss on how to turn my life around. That was until I began to take better care of my body and focused on making the most of the machines …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/140-living-fit-life-drew-canole/">140: Living the Fit Life | Drew Canole</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

4 years ago, I was fat, out of shape, and miserable. My relationships were suffering. My business was falling apart. And, I was at a complete loss on how to turn my life around. That was until I began to take better care of my body and focused on making the most of the machines that are my body and mind.

Today,  I am joined by the founder of FitLifeTV, Drew Canole. We talk about his transformation as well as mine, the most powerful way a man can start his morning, how to embrace and learn from your mistakes, the power of a clear vision, and how you too can live the fit life.

“Everything that you are and have created in your life is because of YOU.” Tweet That— Drew Canole

Drew Canole

Drew CanoleGentlemen, I’ve been looking forward to introducing you to my guest and friend, Drew Canole for some time now.

I’ve been following his work with FitLifeTV and Organifi for years and we when were able to finally connect and get him on the show, I jumped at the opportunity.

You’re going to hear this guys’ excitement for life as we discuss all things health related (which goes well beyond excercise and nutrition).

He is a bestselling author and, as I said before the Founder and CEO of FitLifeTV where he has reached millions of people across the planet on the topics of health, fitness, healing, and longevity.

Get your notepad out as Drew and I have an incredible conversation on living the fit life.

“When a man steps into creation versus playing the victim, it’s much more empowering.” Tweet That— Drew Canole

Show Highlights

  • The best wayt to start your morning
  • The role of creation vs. victim
  • How to embrace your mistakes
  • The law of attraction
  • Building the structures and systems for a healthy life
  • Mastering your mindset
  • Why juicing is such a powerful way to get your nutrients
  • Why we do the opposite of what we know we should
  • What besides nutrition goes into living a fit life
  • Finding congruency in your life
  • To cheat or not on your meals
  • The power of vision

“When you’re living outside of what it means to be human, you’re setting yourself up for failure.” Tweet That— Drew Canole

The Iron Council

As the new year is approaching, I want to invite you to join our exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council.

Look, the reality is that if you want something different out of your life you’re going to have to do something different. And, the Iron Council, represents that difference. You’re going to be motivated. You’re going to be inspired. But most importantly, you’re going to be challenged to step up in your life the way a man does.

This is what separates the Iron Council from the rest of what’s out there. Most groups will attempt to get you to feel warm and cozy about where you currently are but the Iron Council is going to challange you to look further than you ever have and do some things you’ve never done.

If that’s something that sounds intriguing to you, I invite you to learn more and join us at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“When you live through the eyes of your higher self, it will propel you forward much quicker.” Tweet That— Drew Canole

Connect with Drew Canole

“Changing your environment is one of the biggest keys to transformation.” Tweet That— Drew Canole

The post 140: Living the Fit Life | Drew Canole appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
4 years ago, I was fat, out of shape, and miserable. My relationships were suffering. My business was falling apart. And, I was at a complete loss on how to turn my life around. That was until I began to take better care of my body and focused on makin... 4 years ago, I was fat, out of shape, and miserable. My relationships were suffering. My business was falling apart. And, I was at a complete loss on how to turn my life around. That was until I began to take better care of my body and focused on making the most of the machines … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 45:00
Every Man a Marketer https://www.orderofman.com/every-man-marketer/ Fri, 17 Nov 2017 11:30:35 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3748 https://www.orderofman.com/every-man-marketer/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/every-man-marketer/feed/ 0 <p>Whether you’re trying to win the girl, get a job promotion, or get new clients, it’s critical that you wrap your head around the idea that you are a marketer. Today, I’m going to share with you why this mindset is so important, some of the pitfalls we should avoid, and some very simple strategies …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/every-man-marketer/">Every Man a Marketer</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

Whether you’re trying to win the girl, get a job promotion, or get new clients, it’s critical that you wrap your head around the idea that you are a marketer. Today, I’m going to share with you why this mindset is so important, some of the pitfalls we should avoid, and some very simple strategies you can implement to help you get more in your life.

I know there’s a lot of guys who think that they’re not marketers or that somehow this is a shady way of looking at things but I can assure you it’s not. If you have a product (whether it’s you or some service or offering you have), you have an obligation to bring it to the market and share it with the world.

If you think that by selling yourself, you’re doing it wrong, you are limiting your potential and the ultimate results you can produce for yourself and others. Why wouldn’t you share yourself and your product with the world? Just because someone told you not to sell?

Look, the reality is that “salesmen” make the world go around. Now, there’s the right ways to do it and there’s the wrong ways to do it. If you do it incorrectly, you’re going to end up shooting yourself in the foot. But, if you do it the right way, you’re going to enrich your life and the lives of your clients, employers, or potential spouse and maybe even your children together.

I know the slimy used car salesmen and the insurance guys (I know I used to be one) have ruined the notion of sales for a lot of people. But, again, if you do this right, you’re not really selling at all. You’re simply giving people exactly what they want.

That’s a good thing. Sales, promotion, and marketing are a noble calling.

So, let’s talk about some simple strategies and mindsets you can use to promote yourself and your products more effectively.

WHAT’S IN IT FOR THEM

Most of the guys that give sales a bad rap, do so because they’re so focused on what’s in it for themselves that they completely overlook what’s it in for the other party.

I get questions all the time about how I’ve been able to secure such great podcast guests right out of the gate. Simple, I keep the other party’s interests in mind. If I can find a guest that is releasing a book or a course, and I can help promote it to my audience, that’s a win for them. Sure, my needs are important too but keeping their interests in mind creates a win-win, not a lose-win.

Another question I get all the time is, “How do I ask for a promotion?” If you go into your boss’ office with the expectation or demanding that you “deserve” a raise, you’re not going to get a raise. If, however, you go into your boss’ office and share with them all the wonderful things you’ve done and how giving you a raise will actually improve their bottom line, an employer would be dumb not to.” Again, keep their interests in mind, and you will win for yourself every time.

BUILD YOUR NETWORK

It’s not what you know, it’s who you know is such a cliché statement but, like any cliché statement, it is because it’s true. If you aren’t taking the time to network now, you’re killing your chances of producing results when you need them.

There’s the Chinese Proverb: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

Most people won’t network because they’re satisfied. They’re complacent. They’re comfortable. It’s only when people fall upon hard times (job loss, separation, divorce, layoff, etc.) that they begin to think, “maybe I should build a network.”

If that’s you, it’s too late.

Every great opportunity in my life has come because I’m connected with people who have great opportunities. And, I don’t wait until I need something before I nurture my network. If I was ever out of work, I could tap into the network I’ve built and get a job with the snap of my finger. If I was divorced or single and wanted to get into the dating world, I could reach out to my network and line up a few dates.

It’s not really all that hard to build a network either. Find people who are thriving in their lives, figure out a way to add value to them (refer to first strategy I shared, remember what’s in it for them), and connect. And, keep connecting. When you can help them, help them. When you can make an introduction for them, make an introduction.

This is not about keeping score but people are naturally inclined to help those who have been helpful in the past.

I get so many messages from people asking how they can get something from me. Very rare (and memorable) is the person who reaches out to lead with value. I have a friend for example, who got me into the SHOT Show earlier this year. I didn’t know him from Adam at the time but he went out of his way to help me get something I want. As of the release of this podcast, we’re hunting in Texas right now because we both fostered a relationship by leading with value.

It’s simple in theory. Now, you’ve got to implement it.

BE VALUABLE

The only way to connect with other people and put yourself in the position to give others what they’re after is to be a man of value.

We spend so much time focusing on the external and spend so little time focusing on the internal. Where’s your mind? How’s your health? How’s your bank account? How’s your relationships?

The more that you can get everything with you figured out, the more valuable you become. The more I learn, the more I get to share. The more experiences I take part in, the more interesting I become. The healthier I am, the more energy I have to help others.

And, the beauty is that this is like a snowball effect. The more valuable I am to others, the more people I attract to myself. And, the more people I attract, the more other people are attracted. Working on yourself is really a compounding effort.

I made this the last bullet point today because, if there’s one underlying theme to the work we’re doing here, it’s to focus on what you can do and become the best possible version of yourself. Sure, there are some strategies you can learn about marketing and sales but for the most part, if you take care of you, a lot of this other stuff falls into place.

Meditate, exercise, read, have conversation with interesting people, make connections, do interesting stuff. These are all ways to lift yourself up and, in turn, lift others up.

At the end of the day, we’d all do well as men to remember that we are marketers –of our products, of our services, and of ourselves. Remember, always frame your interactions with a mindset towards what’s in it for others, build your network before you need it, and be valuable yourself.

Gents, I’ve got to throw a plug in for our exclusive brotherhood because we are teaching these exact strategies. I’m amazed at the caliber of men inside the Council. We’re learning, we’re growing, we’re challenging each other, and we’re building a powerful band of men who are helping us achieve more.

Guys are connecting with their wives and children in whole new ways, they’re starting businesses, their making more money, they’re losing weight, and they’re finally recapturing all that life has to offer and all that it means to be a man. I know it sounds too good to be true but it truly is a testament to surrounding yourself with the systems and the men who are going to help you do big things. You can learn more and lock in your spot to the Council at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil

The post Every Man a Marketer appeared first on Order of Man.

]]>
Whether you’re trying to win the girl, get a job promotion, or get new clients, it’s critical that you wrap your head around the idea that you are a marketer. Today, I’m going to share with you why this mindset is so important, Whether you’re trying to win the girl, get a job promotion, or get new clients, it’s critical that you wrap your head around the idea that you are a marketer. Today, I’m going to share with you why this mindset is so important, some of the pitfalls we should avoid, and some very simple strategies … Ryan Michler: Family Man, Business Owner, Host and Blogger of Order of Man 11:39
Humility is Strength https://www.orderofman.com/humility-is-strength/ Fri, 10 Nov 2017 11:30:12 +0000 http://www.orderofman.com/?p=3736 https://www.orderofman.com/humility-is-strength/#respond https://www.orderofman.com/humility-is-strength/feed/ 0 <p>There seems to be a growing trend in society, especially in men, that somehow arrogance or ego is what makes you strong. I get it, looking the part may actually work, for a little while. But the damages of an inflated ego last a whole lot longer than tricking a few people into thinking you …</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com/humility-is-strength/">Humility is Strength</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.orderofman.com">Order of Man</a>.</p>

There seems to be a growing trend in society, especially in men, that somehow arrogance or ego is what makes you strong. I get it, looking the part may actually work, for a little while. But the damages of an inflated ego last a whole lot longer than tricking a few people into thinking you are better than you really are. A lot of men seem to believe that putting on a front is strength. I, however, disagree. Humility is Strength.

What do I mean by humility? When I talk about humility, I’m not talking about some self-deprecating belief or being timid, passive, or weak. I’m talking a very clear understand that you don’t have it all figured out and you have a long way to go.

See, when guys put on a front or show to maintain their pride, what they really end up doing is exposing themselves to all sorts of blind-spots that could come back to destroy them. You hear of guys all the time who get blindsided with a separation or divorce, or a layoff, or they’re hit with the news t